Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lot
Take a shot on me.
Dice is here. Like a fever dream.
I stand up too fast, bumping my knee on Queenie’s carrier.
I don’t feel the sting over the scramble of my mind.
For a split second, I think of those cheesy romances where she runs into his open arms, and he spins her like a carousel before carrying her off into the sunset. But this isn’t a Lifetime movie.
“What—what are you doing?” I ask, still in shock, my phone forgotten at my side.
He slips his own into his hoodie pocket as he stops in front of me with his usual smirk. “Apparently flying to Kirksville, Missouri.”
“Missouri?” I squint. “Why are you going there?”
“I’m not. Long story. But the point is, I couldn’t let you leave without saying what mattered. Not again.”
My lips part, no words coming out. Because Dice isn’t just here. He’s here for me. With something important to say. I don’t let myself jump ahead. I stay still. Silent.
He moves closer. Close enough to touch me, but he doesn’t. There’s something different in his eyes now. Steady. Serious.
“I liked you from the start,” he says. “From the day we met, I thought you were feisty and determined. But kind and sweet too. You cared about that spider, and about me when I needed it most.
“Over the years, from kids to adults, my feelings developed into something deeper. I saw how much you love your people. How behind all the snark and sass is tenderness. How funny and smart and creative you are. Beautiful, inside and out.
“I never could define what we were exactly, but we shared this special bond. As strong as that spiderweb that brought us together.”
He pauses. Reflecting. “I knew, as soon as you came back, even time and anger hadn’t changed that.
You were the still the girl who shared her jelly beans and tent with me.
The one I always cherished. The one I promised myself I wouldn’t ever touch.
Only… I couldn't keep that promise. I had to have you.”
His voice goes thick now, and I’m hanging on every word.
“I thought I was winning. I had the best of both worlds—sharing a bed with someone I genuinely liked being with. Thought I could keep it all casual. But I couldn’t. That was just a lie I told myself. When the truth is…”
Another pause. A beat that holds everything.
“I’m in love with you, Lot.”
The whole world blurs. Boarding calls, rolling luggage, they all fade into nothing.
He said it.
He really said it.
I’m in love with you, Lot.
Hope blooms from all the years I longed to hear him say that. I dreamed about this. About him showing up, chasing me to New York, and finally saying he felt the same way I did.
But I know Dice. I know who I’m dealing with. A man who moves on impulse. Who’s told women he loved them before. Who flits from one honey to the next. Who doesn’t want commitment. Who shuddered at that very word.
Am I supposed to believe this is different?
His eyes search mine, looking for my reaction. I swallow hard, my throat tight with conflict.
“These weeks together have been incredible,” I say, more thoughtful than my usual shoot-from-the-hip. “We’ve gotten closer. Our chemistry’s insane. Our goodbye was emotional. That can confuse things. Make you think it’s love when it’s just… heightened feelings.”
“I’m not confused,” he insists. “I know exactly what this is and what I want.”
“Which is what?”
“You and me. A relationship.”
Don’t go for the sugar rush, I warn myself.
“What happens when I land back in New York and reality sets in? When we’re trying to fit in FaceTime between our schedules?
And having to figure out whose city we meet in between managing our jobs.
You ready for all that? To give up your carefree lifestyle, your honeys… for me?”
“I don’t blame you for having doubts.” His voice and demeanor remain calm, unwavering. “I questioned myself too. Fighting my own thoughts and feelings. But watching you leave took a huge chunk outta me.”
“That’s what I mean. You’re reacting to me leaving.”
“It’s not just that, Lot.”
I study him for any crack in the foundation. I don’t see any, but still, I press again. “You’ve told women you loved them before.”
“I haven’t,” he denies, firm as stone. “Not once. I tossed the word around loosely with C, bullshit guy talk. But I’ve never said it to a woman. Never meant it—until you.”
“I want to believe that. I really do. But…”
“You’re scared.”
“Yeah. I am.”
“So am I, Lot. I haven’t done this before.
I’m scared of fucking it up. Of not being the man you need and deserve.
But I’m also ready and willing to work hard to be.
No gray zone. Something real and defined.
Respecting your independence. Supporting you and your career.
Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there lifting you up.
The long distance won’t be easy. I know that.
A relationship requires hard work. But I’m here, ready to try.
Asking you to take a shot on me. A shot on us. ”
Oh God, I want this. So bad it hurts. “You mean it, Dice?”
“Hell yes, I mean it. I didn’t just bust my ass to get here in time and buy a plane ticket I don’t need on a whim. I love you, Lot. I want to be with you. Just you.”
“I swear, Dice, if you break my heart—”
“I’ll answer to Queenie.”
“You’ll answer to me. And it won’t be pretty.”
“I know that.” He cups my face. “I won’t break your heart. Never again.”
“You better not.” I grip the front of his shirt. “Are we seriously doing this?”
“I’m already in. One hundred. So… wanna be my boo thang?”
I side-eye him, but inside I’m hollering for joy. “I guess I could give it a try.”
“That’s my girl.” He grins. “Tripping all over enthusiasm.” He raises an eyebrow. “Got anything else you might wanna say to me?”
“Like what?”
“Gonna make me beg for it?”
“Tempting,” I tease and cup his face too. “I love you, Jones. I have since I was seven. Just been waiting for your dumb ass to catch up.”
He smiles and kisses me hard. Then long and tender, like a promise in front of all the people around us.
When my flight’s called, we reluctantly part. But knowing this isn’t the end, that it’s a new beginning, makes it easier.
“Safe travels, my queens.” He hands me the carrier.
We kiss again, then I join the boarding line, still dazed and delirious.
Now I understand that expression pinch me, I must be dreaming.
But when I turn back, Dice is still standing there. The only man I’ve ever wanted.
Very much real.
With a last wave, I board the flight and find my window seat. I put my bag overhead and place Queenie’s carrier on my lap until take-off. I peek at her through the bars. She’s sound asleep with Spider-Man, unaware of the turn of events. Pulling out my phone, I call Rayne.
“Hey,” she answers. “You okay?”
Understandable question since I bawled like a baby for most of the car ride.
“I’m better than okay. Guess who showed up at the airport?”
“No, he didn’t…”
“Yeah, he did,” I say, keeping my voice low as another passenger settles in beside me.
“I knew he wouldn’t just let you go. The man was pitiful. Looking at you with those sad eyes. Like somebody stole his entire record collection. Tell me everything.”
“He bought a plane ticket just to get past security. Found me at my gate. Had a whole speech that was utter perfection. He said he’s in love with me and wants us to be together. Like for real. I thought I was hallucinating.”
“Not you getting your own Love Actually scene.”
“I know, right? I’m still in shock.”
“How did you react?”
“At first, I thought, naw, he’s just caught up in it. But the more he said, the more I believed him. Do you think I’m being naive? I mean, do you think it’s really possible for Dice to do this with me? To give up other women? To commit?”
“I always knew he was crazy for you. So, yeah, I think it’s more than possible. But you have to trust him to come through. Otherwise, doubts and trying to protect your heart will have this failing before it even gets off the ground.”
“You’re right. It’s just that I’ve wanted it for so long, I think I’m afraid to believe it’s legit. But I have to have faith in him. Give it my best shot or I’ll regret it.”
“I saw it coming, so to me it’s like yass! About damn time. I’m so happy for you. Jealous AF, but happy.”
“Your man’s out there looking for you, too. “
“Where’s he at? I’ll send him my location.”
I laugh. “He’ll find you when the time’s right. You got a campaign to win first.”
The flight attendant announces our departure.
“Getting ready to take off, cuz. Thanks for everything. Miss you already.”
“Me too. And don’t get in your head. Enjoy this, boo.”
After we disconnect, I set the phone to airplane mode, tuck the carrier under the seat in front of me, and plug in my earbuds.
I listen to one of Dice’s DJ sets and watch the clouds swallow the Midwest, feeling like I’ve left my heart behind.
A small part of me is still a little afraid that he’ll get cold feet or realize it was just another heat-of-the-moment impulse.
But the other part urges me to follow Rayne’s advice and not overthink it.
Once we land, and I’m at the baggage claim, I flip my phone off airplane mode. A video pops up from him. He’s in his car, handsome face lit up by the afternoon sun, that cocky grin softened by sincerity.
“Hey, Web. It’s your man, Dice. I wanted you to have recorded evidence.
Just in case you’re still asking yourself if I really mean it.
” He looks straight into the camera. “I love you. Cross my heart,” he says, making the sign over his chest, “and I’m gonna prove it every day, no matter the distance. Hold me to it. I’m all in, baby.”
Damn him. I was done with crying. Now tears fall again. He’d spoken directly to my inner doubts, giving me that boost of reassurance. I wipe the waterworks away and send a video back.
“You’re really pulling out the romance, Jones. Setting the bar high. You can hold me to loving you too and giving this my all.”
I blow him a kiss and hit send. Then I scoop up my bags and Queenie, returning to New York a changed woman.
I’ve made some kinda peace with my father.
I’m bringing home a cat.
Taking a shot on Dice.
I’ve done lost my damn mind. And I’m not mad about it one bit.