Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Lot
I’m holding it in reserve.
The past two days flew by in that way time does when it’s slipping through your fingers no matter how tight you squeeze. Back in New York, we’ve been living on borrowed days and borrowed nights.
Damon and Dice text on the daily, sharing music, reels, and random stuff. Nothing deep yet, just slowly laying bricks. Dice still isn’t ready to call his father. Maybe never will be. For now, he’s getting used to the idea of a little brother. And a woman who’s his.
I feel it in those spontaneous moments when his fingers brush mine or he just looks at me for no particular reason. It’s like something solid has taken root.
We talked about him moving here. No pressure, no firm plan, more like Dice easing into a mix until the beat’s just right.
Yesterday, he met with DJ Soulidify and came back lit up.
He swung me off my feet, buzzing about a massive showcase in July.
Think Coachella, but with the hottest DJs from across the country.
Soulidify’s production company, hosting the event, gave Dice a slot.
Buy-in fee required, but he’ll get a cut of ticket sales and merch. Real money. Real exposure. A real shot.
The kind of door you don’t just ease open, you kick it off the hinges.
This opportunity shows him what he could have here.
That’s the hope I’m holding on to as we spend our last night together.
We’ve already promised to meet up again as soon as possible.
Rearrange work schedules and obligations, even if it means fitting in only a couple of days.
That’s long-distance reality. But we’re both stubborn enough to make it work.
Earlier, Dice cooked dinner. Tacos with jalapeno and avocado crema, a recipe C taught him. He told me about the “bet” and said with his sexy smirk, I’m in my domesticated era.
Some of the tacos were extra crispy, but I still cleaned my plate. They had the right amount of spice. Dice saved the real heat for later, putting my toys and his fine body to maximum use. Even multiple orgasms got humbled.
Now we’re sprawled in bed, sheets twisted and half off, skin still damp from everything we just did.
I’m stretched across him. My fingers trace his pec, caressing the muscle, feeling the even rhythm of his heart.
His make a soothing crawl up and down my back.
The quiet-after is deep, steady, almost hypnotic, both of us wrapped in that postcoital hush.
“Gonna miss you, Jones.”
His lips graze my temple. “Gonna miss you too. But I’ve made a decision.”
“Oh?” I tip my head just enough to meet his eyes.
“I want to move here. Be with you.”
My pulse doesn’t just jump, it does an entire gymnastics routine. But I rein in my giddiness, because as much as we’ve been circling the idea, this feels fast. “You know I want that, but are you sure?”
“Fear was holding me back, but yeah, I’m sure. So…” His palm slides up my spine, fingers spreading beneath my locs to cup my nape. “Wanna get married?”
My hand stills against his chest. “Ssskt. Boy, now I know you’re playing. You high off pheromones.”
He doesn’t laugh. Just rolls me over, settling his weight on top my body like he’s claiming me. His arms bracket my shoulders, his legs sandwiched between mine, his brown eyes blazing with heat and clarity.
“I’m serious,” he says. “I don’t need more time to tell me what I already know. What I’ve always known. You’re the first woman I ever loved. The only. The last. This isn’t weeks in the making, Lot. It’s been a lifetime.”
My breath snags, each inhale a struggle. My chest brushing against his feels tight. He’s not just chasing me to the airport to declare his love, he’s asking me to marry him.
“This isn’t conventional,” he continues. “No roses or a ring. I’ll do all that. But right now, this is me—raw and real—telling you how much I fucking love you. How much I want to spend my life with you.”
I’m so shook, it takes me another beat to find my voice.
“I love you too,” I whisper, my hand gliding up the solid line of his back.
“But moving here is one thing. Marriage is another. You just found out you’ve got a brother.
A father. The past five days have been an emotional hurricane.
You’re leaving tomorrow… and we just had hot, nasty sex.
Everything’s gonna feel bigger, more intense. ”
“All true. But not relevant to what I’m asking.
” The backs of his fingers brush my cheek, and drift down to my mouth, the pad of his thumb following the curve of my lower lip.
“We said we were all in. This is as all in as it gets. I’m not moving here to test the waters, Web. I’m coming for real. One hundred.”
“Marriage is a permanent commitment, Dice.”
“So were our spider and web tattoos.” His hand moves into my hair. “Even back then, we knew we were inevitable. Of course, I could flop here. Then you’d be stuck with a househusband learning not to burn tacos. But I promise to hustle and to love you hard.”
“I know you’ll kill it here. And you’ll love me good. You already do. But our relationship’s still so new.”
“Doesn’t feel new to me.” He presses his lips softly to mine. “Feels like home.”
“You really pulling out all the smooth moves now,” I murmur, feeling warm and misty.
“Mhm. So… you got an answer for me?”
“I’m holding it in reserve.”
His brows lift. “Meaning?”
“Ask me again when you’re not between my thighs. When you’re back in Bayside and life returns to normal. If you still want to marry me then, I’ll answer.”
“And you’ll say yes?”
“You’ve got a pretty good shot.”
He grins, cocky and certain. “Okay, Web. I’ll be cashing out that reserve. Count on it.”
“He proposed?” Rayne’s eyes go round as marbles. “Dice all out here full of surprises and grand gestures.”
After our emotional goodbye—and me having a long crying jag into Queenie’s fur—I finally pulled myself together enough to FaceTime her. I’m not telling my parents or anyone else until it’s official. But I couldn’t keep it from my homegirl.
“Ssskt. The man is crazy,” I say, “but to set the stage, I’d just fucked his brains out.”
Rayne kicks back on her couch, bun high and robe loose, working from home today. “So, you telling me Dice went on one knee, in spirit, right after getting laid?” She lets out a snort. “That must be some magic-coated coochie.”
“Girl… this coochie can put a man under. But I told him to hold up. Let his dick deflate and life settle before we start planning a wedding.”
“You gave him a cooldown period?”
“I want him to be sure. Check in with himself once he’s off the sex high and the trauma wave isn’t so fresh.”
“Look at you being all wise and mature.” She double snaps her fingers in praise, then adds, “That whole brother thing, though… you been living through a soap opera. How’s Dice handling it?”
“They’re bonding over texts and playlists. Damon’s already obsessed. Dice is still catching up, but he likes the kid. It’s sweet, honestly. And I love this for him.”
“What about the father?” she asks, disdain lacing her voice.
“That’s a hard no. Dice isn’t ready. Not even close.”
“Can’t blame him. What kind of man leaves his child without a trace?”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “Dice doesn’t know the full story. But if it were me, I’d want to hear it. Just to put some context on the pain and probably cuss him out, make myself feel better.”
“That’s not Dice’s style.”
“I know. That’s why I’m not pushing him either way. I’m just standing by him. Whatever he decides… whatever he needs.”
Rayne studies me, her mouth curving into a big ole sappy grin. “You really love him.”
“Girl, stop with that face. You know I do.”
“Yeah, but this is a whole other level. You up on the rooftop with that fiancée glow.”
“Not gonna ride that high yet. Dice might wake up and realize he lost his damned mind. Who proposes this fast?”
“Fast? Girl, the two of you have been living in delulu land for years. Pretending to be just friends, then pretending to be just fuck buddies. Now the blinders are finally off, and you’re skipping half the steps most people walk through. When have you and Dice ever done things like normal folks?”
“You right about that.”
“Just promise me something.”
“What?”
“You won’t wear black combat boots with your wedding dress. My heart can’t take that.”
I laugh, shaking my head again, but my chest goes tight. I don’t need marriage. All I need is Dice. In New York. Waking up next to me and making breakfast together. If I have that, nothing else matters.