Chapter 5
5
I haven’t seen Jae in a while, only hearing the faint sounds of chopping on boards and stirring in pots. I wonder what he is cooking. I wonder when his sous chef will arrive. Has he no other help?
Curiosity is beginning to get the better of me. Where is he? I’m beginning to miss his presence. Our chatter was familiar and kind. There is no pass-through window in the kitchen, only the short, vertical windows on the swinging kitchen doors.
I know he said not to go in the kitchen if I wasn’t wearing non-slip shoes, but how slippery could the kitchen be? Would the floors be blocks of ice or puddles of water?
I quietly walk to the swinging kitchen doors, peeking through the little plastic window. I see Jae standing behind a counter, massive chef knife in hand, slicing some very delicate looking vegetables. I inch as close as I possibly can to the door without budging it, hoping he’ll notice me peering through, so I won’t have to get his attention. I push my brain to think of a reason to want to get his attention.
A break. He said come get him if I want to take a break.
However, the doors begin to swing if I breathe out too deeply. I decide. This Is It. I’ll risk it. I push the door open.
And my life flashes before my eyes.
It’s like a slow-motion montage straight out of a slapstick comedy movie.
Jae—leaping to save me from falling on my ass the moment he sees me take a step.
Me—falling on my ass anyway.
“Hey! What did I tell you?” Jae snaps, yet despite the frustrated look on his face, he offers his hand to pick me up off the ground. “You can’t come in here without non-slip shoes.” He is scolding me like a child who can’t follow directions. My tailbone is immediately sore, but not as fast as I am humiliated for falling because I didn’t listen.
“I just wanted to let you know…I didn’t think it would be so?—”
“So what? Slippery? They’re called non-slip shoes for a reason.” Jae grumbles and shakes his hand at me, as if to emphasize that he’s still waiting for me to grab it.
“So slippery, yeah.” I hang my head and reluctantly grab his hand as he pulls me up with ease and leads me out of the doorway. I feel like a kindergartener being corralled away from the candy aisle in the grocery store.
“You can’t wear flat sole shoes like that in a kitchen. The solution we use to clean the floors makes it slippery,” Jae sounds like a disappointed father whose child stuck his finger in an electrical socket. “Don’t come into the kitchen again.”
“I didn’t really want to go in the kitchen, I just wanted to let you know I was going to take a break,” I am defensive.
“You were still in the kitchen. I can’t afford a lawsuit,” He sounds defensive now.
“What’s with you and technicalities? I’m not going to sue you because I landed on my ass because of my mistake.” I snap at him, picking a fight.
“I need to be careful about who enters. You’re not wearing a hairnet or gloves or anything. I can’t afford a health code violation when I haven’t even opened yet. Just take your break outside the kitchen, please,” Jae rubs his temples with his ungloved hand. “And I don’t want you to get hurt.”
My eyes narrow. I huff, ready to pick a fight again. I look him directly in the eyes, and I realize I want to flirt with him. He’s good looking. Oh, fuck. I could flirt with literally anyone else . But for some reason, it has to be him and his goofy smile. Jae barks out a cool laugh, breaking out into a grin the more I stand there like a petulant child.
I push a little smile back and go back to my station, picking up my pencil again, my break totally forgotten. I’ll finish drawing soon, add a thin layer of white paint over the pencil drawing, and then take an actual break. My phone dings over on the table.
Oh, god, no. It’s Derek from earlier this week.
I turn around faster than I admittedly want to swipe away the incoming barge of notifications, but Jae’s face erupts into a huge grin again.
“I didn’t know you were into dating apps, Riley.” He’s teasing me. He doesn’t really think I use a dating app.
“How could you have known? We’ve known each other for a week.” I’m clearly embarrassed, the tips of my ears burning hot, redder than my cadmium red paint. “I’m not really dating…just—” I stumble over my words like I’m playing Twister, trying to land on the right color. “Just looking.”
Deny, deny, deny. I grab my phone off the table and clear the notifications. Jae tries to hide a laugh behind his hand, his smile peeking through. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Everyone needs to get laid now and then.”
He’s clearly pleased with himself, looking sly, while I am exasperated. This is for dates. Not sex. Or is that what I meant by a date? I don’t want a relationship.“I want to see your profile.” Jae comes closer to me, his arm hovering dangerously close to being around my shoulder.
“What? Why?” I’m shocked. What could he want to see my dating app photos for? Is he interested in me?”
“Please, I need to see them, Riley,” He’s laughing, but it’s not malicious. “I just want to get to know you better. There’s no better intro than the one you’ve put online for the world to see.”
“I guess you’re right,” He does have a point, but I need to find a way out of this. I do not want to show Jae my photos. Not because I am embarrassed by them, but I just know that as soon as he sees them, he’s going to prod for more and more of my personal life. None of which I particularly care to share with him right now.
“Please, sit,” He encourages me.
“Do I have to show you?” I ask him, sitting down in the wishbone chair. I fold my hands down on the wooden table, my phone face down underneath.
“No. But I’d like to see them. It’d make you really cool if you did,” Jae says. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” The more I think about it, the more I want to see his photos. And know more about him. He’s kind, when he wants to be, and he’s funny. And he’s interested in me.
“I don’t want to see yours.”
“Then I won’t show them to you.” Jae rolls his eyes. “Geez.”
“But I want something in return. Something to make the ridicule worth it. Two can play at this game.” I’m the schoolyard bully now, shaking Jae down for his lunch money.
“I'm not interested in your offer any more than you're interested in mine.” Jae taps his fingers back at me. “But I’ll do it. For you. Name your price.”
The more I think about it, the more I couldn't care less about Jae wanting to see my photos. There's nothing in there that would lead me to have to explain Grant, which is what I ultimately want to avoid, but it’s clearly getting under his skin, and I finally want to have something to hold over him.
The dating lessons.
“You pay for our first date,” I say confidently, and then falter.
“Oh?”
“Our first practice date,” I correct myself.
“That’s it? A dinner?” Jae raises his eyebrows and looks like he wants to burst out laughing any second. He probably thinks I’m ridiculous. But this is a big step for me.
“Yes, that’s it.” I purse my lips together and tap my fingers on the table. “Do we have a deal? My offer expires soon.”
“Deal.”
I unlock my phone, open the dating app, and set it in front of Jae. He picks it up and begins thumbing through my photos, presumably.
The first is me in my old studio in SoHo, painter’s apron on, palette in hand . The second one is right after I had a fresh haircut. Third, I’m posing for the camera in a yellow sundress. Fourth, I’m holding Lily in my arms.
“This is your dog?” Jae asks.
“Lily,” I nod.
“This is a cute dress,” Jae remarks blankly.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Thoroughly embarrassed, I hold my hand out for my phone.
“Just a sec. One more second please,” Jae begs me, his mischievous smile returning.
“What are you doing?” His thumbs are clearly not just swiping through photos.
“I’m just helping you.”
“Helping me? Don’t touch my profile.”
He peeks at me from around my phone. “I’m helping you. You need it.”
“My pictures are fine!” I snap at him. “I didn’t give you permission to touch my profile!”
“I’m not touching your photos! You have like…two matches, Riley! Your profile clearly needs some help.”
“What are you doing? Give me my phone!” The urgency is growing in my mind, but I try to keep it cool. I reach for my phone, but Jae’s grip remains ironclad.
He swats my slippery hands away. “I updated your location settings from one mile to ten miles.”
“Give me my phone. I don’t want the free dinner.” I’m only half joking.
“Okay, okay, someone’s serious,.” Jae relinquishes the phone. “Please, fix your bio next. though,”
“What are you talking about?” The seriousness from my voice is gone, now lilted with concern for my bio. I worked so hard on it.
Reserved woman seeks a funny, college-educated man who lives alone, down for uncomplicated romancing. Pets OK. Call me whenever!
Everyone seemed to have some kind of gimmick on this app. I wanted to go for something quirky but upfront. Is this how people did this? I met Grant in college. I didn’t have to use a dating app.
“Do you not want to get laid?” He smirks and I’m startled by his bluntness.
“I don’t want to get laid.” I set the phone on the table.
“Riley, come on. What the fuck is this?” Jae snatches my phone up immediately. “You can’t have this.”
“What?” I ask in earnest. “What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s not a 1960s personal ad. You don’t need to include the times of day you’re available to contact.” He barks out a laugh and reads my bio aloud. “Are you even from this century? Did you even look at other people’s profiles?”
I cringe with embarrassment. I did not look at other people’s profiles. He probably thinks I’m a total loser. Which I most definitely am, but don’t want Jae to rub it in my face.
“Must live alone?” Jae started tapping furiously, presumably at the delete button. “Are you an ax murderer?”
“I don’t want someone who lives with his mother.”
I rounded the table to sit next to him. I peered over his shoulder. He twiddled his thumbs over the keyboard.
“Pets okay? Is there a world where pets aren’t okay? Are you looking for a sublet? You don’t need to put information like this.” He beams a huge smile at me. “Especially if you just want to hookup.”
“I don’t want to just hookup, though,” I said, defending my word choice. “I want a relationship. After a date.” I said date with much emphasis, hoping to just stop talking with Jae about sex. I want a date, right? But the more I look at Jae the more I want more than a date.
Jae cackled again. “You’re using a hookup app, you know that, right?”
“I want sober sex. Stone cold sober.” I retorted. “I thought you had to be drunk to have a hookup.” I was the one doing all the mentioning of sex.
“Stone cold sober sex. You’re definitely an ax murderer.” Jae looks me in the eye. “You don’t have to be drunk to hook up, you freak.” He gives me a big, playful smile and I can’t help but find myself smiling back.
“I don’t care what a hookup is.” I reached for my phone, but Jae yanks it out of reach by standing up from the bench. “I just…want a date,”
“Let’s see here.” He chuckled under his breath and typed something. “Try this.” He handed me my phone back with a smug smile. He’d added the new photos of me painting the mural and in the park and updated my bio to read:
Let me draw you for dinner. Looking for a new muse and casual fun. Likes dogs, furnished apartments, beds with headboards and sushi.
“Is this really better?” I asked.
“See for yourself.” I settled back on the bench staring at my new profile. I thumbed through a few profiles. Left, left, left, left. Maybe it would take a while to get a new cohort of men.
“Give that back to me,” he said, with his mouth full. “How did you not have any matches?”
He swiped left on a few more guys. “What about this one?”
“I don’t swipe right on anyone,” I answer. It’s true. I’m extremely picky after the exchange with Derek.
Jae’s face twists into a messed-up smile. It’s obvious I don’t swipe on anyone. I wonder why.
“What about this guy?” Jae holds the phone in front of my face.
Ethan, 26. Will be your personal chef if you hold my hand. My mom thinks I’mhandsome.
“He seems…okay.” I mull it over. He is kind of handsome. He doesn’t have anything on Jae, but he isn’t ugly. He has kind eyes. “I don’t know though; I don’t want to owe him anything if he cooks for me.”
“I’ll swipe for you, but I won’t hold his hand for you, Riley.” Jae looks up at me. “Just try one time, Riley. Then we’ll know what to work on for your practice date,” It sounds like a question.
“Fine, I'll swipe on him.” I snatch the phone and swipe right.
IT’S A MATCH!
Jae stretches his arms and back, his eyes catching the late winter sunlight streaming through the window. His skin glows in the golden light. My eyes linger on his face a second too long and his eyes catch mine again.
“That’s enough, I think,” He purses his lips and motions toward the door. “Get outta here, you sex fiend. Go take a break.” He’s clearly teasing me, and the fact is, I probably look to have the sex appeal of a nun.
I scurry towards the door, eager to lose myself in a takeaway lunch. I wave goodbye and before Jae can get another word out, I yank the door open, and burst outside into the warm afternoon sun.
Later that night, I have to psych myself up to message Ethan, who still has not messaged me. I look at my rumpled self in the mirror. My red hair is tangled in the worst way, my green eyes look sullen, and my dark circles are darker than they’ve ever been. It’s the same look I’ve rocked for the last three years. I decide I’ll get my act together tomorrow, just like I’ve also said every day for the last three years.
You can do this. Come on. Just do it.
Hey there.
Ding. That was fast. Maybe all men really are this fast at texting back.
Hey there, you. How are you doing tonight?
I’m doing well. What are you up to?
Just watching some Netflix. I think you’re really pretty btw, that’s why I swiped on you…
I blush, even though there’s no chance Ethan can see me.
Hehe thanks. I think you’re really cute too.
He is cute. He has mousy brown hair, a crooked nose and a toothy smile. He is handsome in a way that makes you think he’d take you to the school dance and kiss you on your doorstep before meeting your father for the first time. That’s not the way Jae makes me feel.
Aww, I’m blushing. Would you want to get coffee sometime?
I’d love to, actually.
Am I really doing this?
I can do it in the morning. How does tomorrow at Sheila’s Cafe at 7:30 sound?
I think about it. Sheila's isn’t too far from The Red Kettle.
I’ll see you there.
I’m antsy for tomorrow morning as I get ready for bed. I’ve already taken Lily on an extra-long walk around the neighborhood park, and she’s had enough of my funny business. The more I think about it, the more excited I am. It’s just a coffee date. Totally lowkey. I can handle it. I am ready to get coffee with a handsome stranger.
After my shower, I take the time to detangle my hair. It’s a lengthy process and one I don’t do often. I’ll wear it long and curly and then tie it up as best I can when it’s time to start painting. I don’t want to wear the coveralls again, so I lay out a worn T-shirt and overalls.
I crawl into bed with light thoughts in my mind for the first time in a while. Would he be the man to hold my hand when we walk in the park? Would he talk about baseball with my father and kiss me on the doorstep? Tomorrow, I’ll find out. I’m dozing off when I get a text.
It’s Jae.
Hey, you.
Hi.
Practice date tomorrow night?
Where?
I’ll cook for you at the restaurant. What do you like to eat?
I’ll eat anything.
5 p.m. sound good? Paint for a bit in the morning, and then come by again later?
Sounds good. :)