Chapter 17
17
I t’s beautiful weather for the opening night of The Red Kettle. No rain in the forecast, and just warm enough that you don’t need a jacket. The mural is totally completed. I’m standing outside the restaurant, in my favorite springtime baby blue dress, while Jae and Murphy are unimaginably busy inside. Mae is hired as the hostess, and I agreed to help her if she needed.
But for now, I’m on the lookout for a reporter from Foodie Manhattan and Danielle, a young, flashy influencer with a huge following, to let Jae know when they’re here. And for Young-Mi.
String lights twinkle in the early evening sunset out on the sidewalk, and I take a look through the big front window. Jae and Murphy lean on the sushi bar, waiting for their first customer.
Soon enough, Danielle arrives and I bring her to Mae. Seated quickly, she chooses the kimchi fries as her appetizer. Jae takes the time to explain the menu items and opening night special—a salmon bento box—to her and I greet more guests outside, and soon enough, the small restaurant is filled to capacity with a line out the door. Our waitlist is 13 parties long, and I help Mae input them into the computer system.
I hardly see Jae for the first hour. He’s weaving in and out of the kitchen, both serving and cooking. Although, he does leave the majority of the cooking and prep to Murphy and his other chef, Hank, who handles it well. I sit on a stool by the sushi bar, snapping photos of guests and Jae, who is preparing a special roll to impress Danielle. A good review on social media could mean a lot for business.
Mae asks me to seat some guests while she goes to the restroom around 5:30 p.m., so I stand at the desk instead of sitting in the back. I handle the check for Danielle, and sit a couple on the waitlist. After a moment, a young guy with a camera bag and a notepad comes up to the desk and introduces himself as Wyatt from Foodie Manhattan. I excuse myself to the kitchen.
“Jae?” I call, not seeing him behind the line.
He pops out of dry storage. “What? Is my Ma here?”
“No,” I shake my head. “But it’s Wyatt from Foodie Manhattan. ”
“Oh, no way,” He drops the paprika he was holding. “Let me seat him.” Jae waves to Hank and lets him know what’s about to be up on deck. I follow Jae back to the front, where Wyatt is still waiting, and now chatting with Mae.
“Hey, it’s so great to meet you!” Jae exclaims, putting on the charm. “We’re lucky to have you out here on our grand opening night.”
“Hey,” Wyatt smiles back. “I was just talking with your sister, I think?”
“Yeah, that’s Mae,” Jae puts an arm around her. “Best little sister ever, huh?” That gets Wyatt to laugh.
“Do you have time to sit down with me and answer a few questions for my article?” Wyatt asks Jae, tapping his notepad.
“Of course,” Jae says. “Let me just put it in order of our sizzling tofu for us. You’ll love it—it’s super crispy. This is Riley, by the way, my girlfriend.”
I give a soft smile. “Just helping out,” I say.
While Mae seats Wyatt, Jae leans in close to me. “Can you keep an eye out for my ma, please? And let me know if she comes?”
“Of course,” I tell Jae. “I’ll let you know as soon as I see her.”
As the night comes to a close, and Wyatt has left, I still haven’t seen Young-Mi. Jae’s other sisters, Izzie and Kelly, both stopped by after work for a bite. I was hoping to catch a glimpse of his mom, even just outside, peeking in, but she hasn’t come around. Just like she said she wouldn’t.
Jae has been in the back of the kitchen for the last two hours, and even though Danielle posted a glowing review video that already has 500,000 views and Wyatt emailed to let us know that he’d be posting an article later this week and that he’d love to get some photos of Jae in his element in the next few days, Jae is crushed that Young-mi hasn’t shown. The Red Kettle is open for another 20 minutes, so anything is possible, but the crowds have dwindled and the ambience is slowing down.
When 11 p.m. rolls around, the restaurant is empty, and Mae quietly swings the door shut, and turns around the open sign to close. We polish silverware for the table reset, and when it’s close to midnight, we dim the lights in the dining room. I sit in a booth by the mural, while she leaves through the backdoor.
Jae eventually emerges from the kitchen, sweaty with his sleeves rolled up.
“Did she come?”
Jae’s face twists into a frown. “I can’t believe she didn’t come, she must have just slipped in or something. There’s no way she wouldn’t be here.” He reviews the security footage despite my claims that I didn’t see her and I was there the whole time.
It finally settles in on him that Young-mi did not come.
“I haven’t seen her.” I confess. “Mae called her four times.”
Jae sits across from me at the table. “Let me try calling her.” He rings her number, and it goes straight to voicemail. “Hey ma, it’s me,” Jae says. His message is undeniably, frustratingly sad. “Love you, call me, bye.”
Jae and I look at each other in silence for a few heartbeats.
“Let me text Izzie. Maybe she was too ill.”
“Izzie said she was fine this afternoon.” I tell him.
“Was it too much to ask for her to come?” He asks me. “Maybe?—”
“No,” I say. “She should have been here.”
He rubs his face with his hands, his brow furrowed and his eyes down. “Am I a bad son?” He asks me. “For opening a restaurant? And not going to school like she asked?”
“Why would that make you a bad son? This is your dream, right?” I ask.
“This is my dream. But what about her dreams? She moved here so young so that I could have a better life. And this is what I did with it?”
“Jae, if you’re happy with your choices, why does it matter if she is or not?”
“Because she’s my mother. I owe her everything.” He looks away, towards the window, like Young-mi might be standing there like she was the other day. “She raised us as a single mom after my dad passed away. She worked her ass off at two jobs all my life. She never got to go to school, and that’s all she wanted for me.”
I wish I had something helpful to tell him, but I’m afraid I’ll never truly understand.
“Jae,” I say. “Your mother just wants you to be successful and happy, right?”
“I guess,” He says. “It kind of seems like she just wants me to be…this picture-perfect son who does what she says.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” I say. “I think she just has her ideas of what would be in your best interest to achieve success and happiness….and even though it looks different than she imagined it, you are successful and happy. Look at the amazing reviews you got tonight.”
I show Jae his business page on google. Five star rating after five star rating.
“Do you think she’ll come around?” He asks me.
“She will,” I nod. “She’ll see that you’re happy and successful, which is all she ever wanted, right?”
“Right.”
“You should be so proud of yourself, Jae,” I tell him with a smile. “You did amazing tonight.”
“Thank you, Riley,” He gives me a soft smile back. “Jeez, I smell like fish.” He laughs, getting a whiff of his jacket.
“Do you want to come to my place?” I ask. “You can use my shower.”
“I was hoping you’d ask.” He calls us an uber back to our building. We hold hands on the ride over, and we agree that he’ll stop at the bodega and get some snacks and drinks for us to enjoy over an episode of Storage Wars. We were both so busy the entire night, neither of us had dinner.
After Jae’s shower, we gorge on chopped cheese sandwiches and chips, where we’re both sitting on the floor, backs against the couch, bellies full. We talk about movies and living in New York City and the best stand-up comedy special to come out this year. Shifting to be on the sofa, Jae motions for me to come sit next to him. I put my head in his lap, and look up at him.
Even his chin is sexy from this weird angle.
“How are you so cute?” I ask.
“It’s something called facial yoga,” He says, totally serious.
“You’re kidding,” I laugh, sitting up.
“I’m not! It works, I swear by it.” He gestures with his eyebrows.
“You’re hokey, I swear.” I giggle, reaching out to touch his face. I massage his forehead and cheekbones. “Is this helping?” I ask.
“You tell me,” He presses his lips together with a smile. I kiss him gently in response. “What was that for?”
“For completing your facial yoga session for today,” I laugh again, and he returns to me with a kiss, my laugh silenced in my throat. I wrap my hands around his body, climbing into his lap. I mold into his chest, pressing kisses into his neck. Jae’s hands slide up the back of my dress, his warm hands flat on my back, the skirt pooling around my waist.
I pull back, looking deeply into his eyes.
“Thank you for breaking and entering into my apartment.”
“You make it sound like what I did was a crime!”
“It’s a crime you’re not kissing me right now,” I sigh, silenced with a kiss. His kisses are adorned with lucious licks and tastes of his tongue. The heat growing in my belly is no joke, and I feel feverish on top of Jae. I instinctively grind my hips against his, and he pushes back.
“Riley,” Jae whispers. “Can I touch you more?”
I nod swiftly, and Jae unhooks my bra underneath my dress, his fingers trailing to my front, squeezing and pushing up my right breast. He groans, and closes his eyes. I undo the front buttons of my dress, and shrug it off my shoulders.
Jae pulls down my bra, and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I gasp at the graze of his teeth on my skin. His bite is tender but hungry, his left hand squeezing and pinching my other nipple. My thin silk panties can’t take how wet I’m getting, and I’m sure Jae can feel how hot and wet I am on his bare leg.
“Where, love?” Jae asks.
“Here,” I move his hand down to graze my clitoris. “Or here,” I move his fingers to my entrance.
I’m so wound up, and so tight, I’m gutted when he slides a finger in. When I release an astonished gasp, he slides the second one in and curls up. I grasp at his shirt while he plunges in and out of me.
Fuck.
“Jae!” I exclaim, pawing at his chest and back while he massages me. I’m torn up and tender. My toes curl as he continues, I haven’t been touched like this in…in ages. I can’t think straight. It doesn’t take much to get me to the edge. My wetness drenches his hand, and I’m climbing him like a grapevine. I tense around his fingers and squeeze. “I’m?—”
“Come for me, love,” Jae whispers into my neck, rocking his hand into me.
I squeeze, and then let go with a small scream. Fuck, again.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask him, my breath hot and heavy against his neck.
“In my pants.” He sets me aside, and I immediately miss his heat. He’s back in a heartbeat though and tearing the wrapper open with ease. I lay back on the couch.
“Do you want to put it on?”
I gingerly take the latex in my hand. He kicks his pants off, and I roll it on him carefully. It’s been a while since I had to do this. Touching him is like torture when I want him inside of me.
He brings his head and body forward and comes down onto his elbows above me and I am nearly flattened in the best possible way. The tip of him presses at my entrance and I writhe under his weight.
He pushes, pushes into me gently, our voices collectively groaning as he does.
“If you need to stop, just tell me, love.” Jae’s voice is harried and urgent.
“I will. Keep going.”
He gives a gentle, timid thrust and I want to tell him more.
It’s like he knew what I was thinking when he hikes my leg up with his right hand, bending my knee. He thrusts again and I quite literally see stars.
“It’s been so long, Jae,” I am already out of breath. “You feel so good.”
“Don’t talk, love, if you don’t have to,” he whispers into my neck, and I swivel my hips to meet his thrusts, but he’s just so heavy I can barely move underneath his weight. I don’t say a word. “You are such a good girl.”
As our bodies blend together, the lines between me and him are the same. Jae hits a point in me that I never felt before and when he hits it over and over I can’t help but unravel like a ball of string down a hill.
“Jae,” I am gasping for air against all I can stand. “I don’t think I can come twice.”
“Yes, you can,” he tells me, and I am a willing participant. I can.
He thrusts boldly and I start to feel his body quake atop me. I reach my arms around his back, digging my fingernails into his skin.
“Oh, love” His voice is fragile and little in his big body. He gives one more heave and I feel him shake inside me and out. He puts a hot and heavy-handed kiss to my chin, missing my lips. His apology comes out breathless and as he lifts off of me, I tell him there’s nothing to apologize for.
“You are something else, Jae.”
“So are you.”
He stands, completely naked before me, taking off the condom. As he turns around to throw it out in the bathroom, I can’t help but stare at his ass as he goes. So fine.
“Let me go change.” He plops a wet kiss to my forehead.
“You brought clothes?” I ask him, laying naked in my own bed. ?
“I did. They’re in the entry.” He gives me a grin, and I am in over my head.
Jae and I dress and sit side by side on my bed. He tousles my hair playfully and kisses my cheek.
“I can’t believe we just did that,” I tell him. My voice is more serious than I’m feeling.
“I would have done that to you the day we met if you’d let me.”
“iOh, please.” I turn my body to face him again. “I was such an asshole that day.”
“It made me like you even more,” he tells me. “
“I acted like it was the end of the world.”
“I just wanted to see you again.”
“You can see me every day,” I tell him, laying down to put my head in his lap.
“For that, I am so grateful,” is the last thing I remember him saying before falling asleep.
When I wake up, I am exhausted again already. Jae is a generous lover, and he proved it to me over and over last night. He’s cradled in the crook of my arm, his eyes sleepy and still drooping heavily despite the light streaming through my open curtain.
I look at Jae’s sleeping face. He looks so peaceful and almost baby-like with his eyes closed, biting down on his lip. I want to coo and cradle him like a baby. It’s almost seven o’clock and I pray that Lily can forgive me. Jae barely stirs when I move my arm out from underneath him.
I walk Lily to her favorite spot around the corner of the building and make her a scrambled egg for breakfast. When I return, dolled up in my pink bathrobe, Jae is fully awake, and his arms are outstretched, waiting for me as I open the door.
Pleased to have altered my morning routine, he beckons me into his arms.
“How’d you sleep, sleepyhead?” I ask.
“That bathrobe again,” is his answer.
“It’s my comfort robe,” I inform him. “Do you want to eat breakfast here?”
“Are you cooking?”
“That was the plan.”
“I’ll cook for you.” Jae sits up, moderately bedraggled. His shirt and pants are now draped over the end of my bed frame after some late-night activity . He pulls his arms through his shirt but skips putting his pants back on and follows me into the kitchen, Lily on his heels.
I pray he doesn’t drip oil on himself as he cracks open three eggs into a frying pan. That ass is a fire hazard.
“Maybe you should leave some clothes here,” I say absentmindedly.
“Yeah? That's okay with you?” Jae asks, as if I weren’t the one who suggested it.
“Of course,” I tell him. “I’m planning on having you spend the night again. It only makes sense.”
“You don’t mind me spending the night?”
“I love you spending the night.” The words slipped right out of my mouth, implying that I love him. Is it too soon?
“I love spending the night here, too,” He sets a perfectly fried egg on a plate in front of me, before opening my fridge, presumably to look for something to go with it.
“Why’s all you got in here…” He holds up my options. “Some moldy blackberries and ketchup?”
“I haven’t been to the grocery store lately.”
“Promise me we’ll go this afternoon,” Jae says. “In between my shifts.”
“I can’t. I have group therapy this afternoon.” I think it’s the first time I’ve told him.
“Group therapy for what?” His voice sounds concerned, not upset.
“Grief.”
“Oh.” He sets the frying pan down. “Is it really that bad?”
“No. But I like to go. It helps when it does get bad.”
“I’m glad it helps, love.”
“You don’t mind if I go?”
“Of course not. Go if it makes you feel better.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” He nods, decidedly so. “We’ll go grocery shopping after the dinner service.”
“That would be really nice.” I shovel eggs into my mouth like I’m starving. Because I am starving. “Thank you for the money, by the way. You didn’t have to do that. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’ve already made it up to me.” He winks and places the frying pan in the sink, two eggs on his own plate.
Jae takes a bite of his own breakfast. The smile on his face is clear. It’s perfection. As perfect as eggs can get anyway. There’s something so loving in the way he waits for me to finish my meal before he gets up and clears my plate.
When Jae leaves to get ready in his own apartment, I take a minute to breathe. A lot has changed for me in the last twelve hours. I had sex with another man. I kissed him. I initiated it. And I liked it.