Chapter Thirty
Turns out, I didn’t see Adam until bedtime that night. He had a dinner meeting that he swore he’d told me about, but of which I had no memory. Maybe it was a case of mommy-brain or resident-brain or a toxic combo of the two.
Just to reassure myself of his schedule, I double-checked our shared calendar. There it was again, that weird block on his calendar. Unicycle training lessons? I’d have to ask him about that, but I’d probably have to go about it in a sneaky way. Knowing Adam, he’d clam up about it if I took the direct approach.
I took the extra spare time to review messages and sample images the decorator had sent over. She had some amazing ideas and a wonderful computer program that laid out the rooms and inserted her furniture and color scheme ideas.
By the time Adam got home, I was already washing up for bed. To my surprise, he came upstairs and changed into his pajamas while I stepped out of the shower and started my skincare routine.
He entered the bathroom just as I was rubbing moisturizer cream into my face. When he was about to land a kiss on my face, I turned away. “I taste like moisturizer.” So, he aimed for my neck, instead.
Then he stood behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his hand on my curved belly, sliding his fingers under my top. “And how was your day, beautiful lady?”
I leaned back against him, savoring the pure bliss of being in his strong arms. “Mmm, it was great except that my handsome prince wasn’t around for dinner, and I had to eat alone.”
His mouth curved up. “Might’ve been for the best. I bet you were hangry beforehand and eating for two.”
I grinned at him in our reflection.“It’s true that I tend toward the hangry end of the spectrum these days. And do you know what your kid did to me today?”
His brow twitched. “Uh oh, you’re already calling them my kid. That’s not a good sign.”
“They kicked me.”
His eyes widened. “What, really? You felt a kick?”
I bit my lip to keep from grinning like a stupid fool, just to see that reaction from him. The baby was still just an idea to him. Just the thing we talked about.
Unfortunately, for him, that would last a little longer. “I felt the fluttering, yes.”
“Are they kicking now?” He palmed the bare skin of my belly with both hands.
I slowly shook my head. “No, and even if they were, you wouldn’t be able to feel it yet. They’re only the size of a large apple.” Fortunately, there was no clear disappointment on his face but just in case, I added. “It should only be a few weeks, though, before you’ll be able to feel the kicks, too.”
He smiled again, then leaned in to land a kiss on my neck before releasing me and pulling away to grab his own toothbrush. “That will be a trip.”
He bent over the sink to start brushing his teeth as I continued with my little routine, rubbing lotion into my hands and arms and elbows—and now, my belly, in the odd hope it would help with the stretch marks that I knew were coming. As I did so, I watched him—my sexy husband.
Yum. I mean seriously, yum. Had he been working on his arms? The sleeves of his t-shirt hugged his biceps which bulged with the motion of him brushing his teeth. My eyes flew to his face, the hint of dark whiskers peppering his jaws with a five o’clock shadow. Adam didn’t like going scruffy but, damn, it looked so good on him. And even with his mouth full of foamy toothpaste somewhat resembling a rabid dog, he was still the hottest guy I’d ever laid eyes on.
And tonight, I really wanted a piece of that.
Adam finished up in the bathroom before I did, mostly because I decided to do a quick impromptu leg shave for...reasons.
When I entered the bedroom, he was sitting in bed propped up on a pillow and reading his tablet with those reading glasses he’d been prescribed to help prevent headaches. Quadruple yum. The prodigy genius looking nerdy and hot as fuck. The man was downright mouthwatering.
From my side, I plopped onto the bed and simultaneously did a weird sort of awkward roll so that I landed half across his body.
“Oof,” he grunted loudly.
My jaw dropped as I stared at him. “Did you just oof at me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
His dark brows twitched together. “It means that you just landed on my gut and knocked the wind out of me.”
My eyes narrowed at him. “What did you just say?”
He gave me a wary look. “You just jumped on me. How the hell else am I supposed to react?”
I tensed in irritation. “Maybe I was seeking a little affection from my hubby. But after he’s seen fit to remind me that I’m not sexy anymore, I guess I’m not in the mood.”
He frowned. “Emilia, you just jumped and landed on my stomach. That wasn’t a commentary on your weight or some sort of low-key body shaming.”
I pushed off him, suddenly blinking back tears. “Okay, if you say so.”
I rolled back to my side of the bed and started to crawl under the covers. Maybe there was a convenient hole in the ground somewhere nearby that I could temporarily inhabit.
He set aside the tablet and pulled off his glasses. “Hey...what did I say wrong?”
I sniffed, suddenly feeling those tears strangely close. What a stupid thing to cry about, but in the moment, I felt powerless to stop it. Hormones be damned. “You oofed.”
He reached for me and pulled me up against him. “It just meant that you missed your aim.”
I sniffed loudly. “So, I’m a big ol’ clumsy oaf, then.”
“Wrong on four counts.” He wrapped his arms tight around me to keep me from squirming away from him, which I was attempting to do now. “You are neither big, nor old, nor clumsy, nor an oaf.”
Tears wetted my eyelashes. “So, I’m just wrong and stupid then.”
His face twisted with real concern. “Emilia...” I turned my face away when he tried to land a kiss on my cheek. “What’s going on? Are you tired?”
I swiped at my eyes, suddenly feeling deflated. “You don’t find me desirable anymore.”
He hesitated, mouth still open, cautiously considering what he was about to say. “I don’t think I can win, here. Because saying that’s not true will make you wrong and calling you wrong made you upset. Please tell me what I can say that won’t make it worse.”
In spite of my sudden spate of tears, I found myself laughing a little. But still emotional enough that more tears spilled onto my cheeks at the same time. And when I laughed, snot shot out my nose which...damn.
All I wanted was some love, affection, and sexy attention from my hot husband, and this evening was suddenly melting into disaster.
“Emilia.” His voice held true concern now. “Please tell me how I can make this better.”
I shrugged. “I have no idea why I’m crying right now. I....fuck.”
So, he pulled me tighter against him and rested his chin on my shoulder and waited it out while I sniveled and, finally, let my body relax against his strong, solid form, melting into his solid arms. I calmed under the awareness of his body wrapped around mine and enjoyed the sense of security it gave me.
We lay there like that in calm silence for long minutes, And you know what? It was exactly what I needed. No lectures, no cold shoulders, no long-suffering eye rolls. As I let out the long breath I didn’t know I’d been holding, he landed a kiss on my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
I raised my hand and rested it on his sandpapery cheek. “No, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You oofed, and that’s not a crime.”
“I’m so relieved. I was already trying to figure out how to never oof again.”
My laughter brought more snot and he reached over, grabbed a wad of tissue off his nightstand and handed it to me. I mopped up the mess of tears and snot. Jeez, I was so the very polar opposite of sexy right now.And I said as much.
He sat back and made a face at me. “At the risk of making you upset again, you’re wrong. To me, you’ve never been sexier.”
I froze for a brief moment, hope flaring. “Really?”
Unmistakable heat flared in his eyes. “I want to pull that nightshirt off you right now and have my way with you.”
I blew my nose and finished wiping up my face. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.”
I pushed out of bed, trotted to the bathroom to wash my face, then ran back to bed, taking extra special care not to land on Adam’s stomach lest we repeat the cycle that just took place.
And wow, did he ever show me just how sexy he still found me. Though I did convince him to spare the nightshirt from ripping.
He lavished me with tenderness, taking his time to explore me as if he’d never seen me naked before. He was careful of my overly-sensitive breasts, but still spent some time there, kissing them lightly. I closed my eyes, threading my fingers through his thick, dark hair.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against my skin as I arched my back to meet his kisses. His hands smoothed over my skin. “So soft.”
Then he landed kisses on my rounded stomach, smoothing a hand there, too. “Even more beautiful than before, with my baby inside you. How could I think otherwise?”
I opened to him, preening under his lavish attention. My hand smoothed down his solid body. “You gorgeous, delicious man, tell me more.”
He laughed, his mouth pressed against my skin. “Can’t you tell how much you turn me on?” He pressed his very-ready erection against me. “All the fucking time. Even when I’m too exhausted to act on it. You’re the most amazing woman in the world to me. The perfect partner. And you’re the mother of my child, the cherry on top. I’ll never find you anything but ridiculously, magnetically beautiful—inside and out. Sometimes, it’s almost too painful to pull my eyes away from looking at you.”
His head came up to meet my mouth with his and our lips and tongues intertwined, creating the vortex of a building storm—of connection, of arousal—the center of a tiny world we now inhabited, just the two of us.
Centuries and civilizations and worlds could crumble all around us and we’d never know, in here, in our sphere. Just the two of us—just the three of us—locked in a universe of our own making.
He matched his palm to my palm, our fingers splaying wide, pressing together. His lips continued to tangle with mine and waves crashed, dark clouds raged, and we rode this storm.
“Fuck me,” I whispered into his mouth, and I could almost feel his knowing smile against my lips.
“Oh, I will. I will, but before I do, I want to worship you.”
He made me come twice before ever entering me—once with his delectable mouth, once with his hand. When I was riding the afterglow of that second orgasm, he rolled onto his back and pulled me to straddle him.
“I want to look at you. I want to see all of you while I’m inside you.”
I shifted my hips over his and he slid inside me easily. A perfect fit—a metaphor for our whole life together. There might be friction sometimes, there might be missed timing but ultimately, our union only took us to higher levels of joy, happiness. As I moved on top of him, our hands clasped each other tightly, fingers intertwined for long moments before he released his grip.
His large hands smoothed over my breasts, my belly, my hips as I continued to move, slowly, relishing the feel of him inside of me, the sound of his rushed breathing mixed with my sighs of pleasure.
“You are so fucking incredible,” he breathed, his hands clamping onto my hips to urge me to move faster. “My perfect mate.”
I leaned forward, and my long hair fell over my shoulder, draping across his chest. He sucked in a breath, and I purposely turned my head to do it again. One of his hands left my hips to twine through my hair and I felt that familiar climb to climax.
My breathing changed and he grunted hoarsely. “Yeah...that’s it. I want you to come again. I love making you feel good.”
I moved faster, bracing my hands against his hard pecs. “Oh, I feel good. Very good.”
I quickened my pace again and he was breathing deeply now, as if trying to fight off the inevitable. I felt him come just as that tension crested toward climax. My back arched and my head fell back, and the wash of ecstasy skated over my skin, every muscle in my body. The intensity with which it hit—a full body orgasm.
I think I felt it in my scalp and my fingertips.
Just as he grabbed my hips to still me, I collapsed against his hard chest feeling only semi-conscious when I landed there.
He held me against him as we basked in that afterglow. Our faces pressed together, and his whiskers scraped my cheek in that way that I loved. I relished the feel of his body, so different from my own, pressed so closely against me.
“I think I already love the second trimester,” he said. “The first one, not so much. I was too worried all the time. But this? This is fun.”
I snorted, slowly sliding off of him to lie beside him. “You just like it because I’m horny as a goat.”
He laughed. “Well, I’m not going to deny that I’m enjoying that part. But you, with all your energy, and you just—when I look at you, you glow.”
“And I’m horny and you are the beneficiary of the horniness.”
“Okay, okay. You’re hornier than ever before and I’m not going to deny that this sex is lightyears above baby-making sex.”
“That’s not a stretch.” I laughed.
His hand came up to smooth my cheek. “It feels good, to hear you laugh. To see you happy. And so healthy.”
There was a long pause as we held each other in the dark. I cleared my throat, giving voice to the unspoken thought. “You aren’t still afraid, are you?”
He took a while to answer and when he did, his voice was a little quieter. “Sometimes I am, yeah.”
I pressed my cheek against his chest, relishing the sound and feel of his heartbeat beneath his skin. “Thanks for being honest with me.”
His fingers found the edge of my hair, grabbing a thick strand and twirling it around his index finger. “The not knowing. The fact that the cancer could have come back, and we might not even know.”
I stilled his hand by wrapping my fingers around his. “We do blood tests every month. So far, everything is good. I know that’s not the absolute certainty you need, but nothing is ever certain, you know? I worry about you every damn day on that fucking motorcycle.”
He sighed. “You have hated that motorcycle since day one.”
“Well, it’s a big bugaboo for me. Consider it my version of worrying about you. Besides, dads don’t ride bikes.”
“Cool dads do.”
“You’re already a cool dad, without the bike.”
He was silent for a long time, so long that I thought he might have drifted off, until he spoke once more. “Tell you what. When the baby’s here, I’ll stop commuting on the bike and keep it for a fun ride here and there.”
I ran my hand across his lightly hairy chest and kissed his hard pec. “That sounds like a great idea. I’m on board with that.”
“Good. We have a deal then. You stay healthy and keep taking good care of yourself—even after the baby is out.”
I sighed. “For as much as my schedule will allow that, I will. Eat healthy, get as much sleep as I can, and exercise.”
He threaded his fingers through mine. “Sounds like a plan.”
He leaned down and kissed me then, a long, lingering kiss on the lips. It was full of passion, and I almost wondered for a minute if this meant round two was coming up. To be honest, I was too exhausted for round two.
But instead, Adam sighed, warm breath against my face and he said, “You said nothing is certain, but that’s not true. Some things are certain. This present moment. It’s real. What I feel for you is certain—and more rock solid than the Sierra Nevada. And...” his hand moved down to smooth over my belly. “It’s certain that I love you both more than I ever thought it possible to love another being.”