Day 11 New Haven, CT #2
He drapes an arm across my waist, and I must be losing my mind, because I take his hand and fold it against my chest. Max freezes for just a second, but then he relaxes, nestling up against me.
I absolutely cannot think about where my ass is right now.
“Is this okay?” he whispers, and his breath tickles the back of my neck.
“Yeah,” I breathe back, even though I have no idea how the hell I’m going to fall asleep. “Good night, Max.”
“Mmm — good night, Sammy.”
It’s not long before he’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling against my spine, his arm heavy over my body. But I spend a long time ruminating in the darkness before finally slipping into dreams.
MAX
“Hnnh — what?”
I’m not quite sure what wakes me, and I blink carefully, trying to get my bearings in the darkness.
Someone is snoring across the room, and in my sleep, I’ve rolled onto my back, halfway off the thin mattress.
Even with Sam’s sleeping bag underneath me, the floor is unforgivingly hard, radiating cold into my shoulder. Shivering, I roll back onto my side.
Only to find Sam facing me, wide awake, his eyes holding on to mine.
He’s so close. We’re nearly nose to nose on the thin pillow, and I can feel his breath on my face — or I could until he stopped breathing.
He’s holding his breath, and my heart is pounding so loud in my ears that I’m wondering if he can hear it too.
I moisten my lips, and his eyes drift slowly and decisively to my mouth. And I know.
I lift my hand and reach carefully for his face, bringing my palm down softly, tracing the line of his cheekbone with my thumb.
When my hand touches his skin, he whimpers, just a hint of a note, somewhere in the back of his throat.
And I could live inside that note, the fire it sets in my belly, for the rest of my days.
So I lean in, and I close my eyes, and I kiss him.
It seems a little cheesy to say that it feels like coming home — but it does.
The first kiss is brief, a simple press of slightly parted lips, and I pull back to study his face.
But then he reaches for me, his hand curving around my waist, and I’m not sure whether he moves forward first or I do, but we’re kissing, properly kissing.
I’m kissing my best friend and it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before in my life.
His hands are nimble and sure, his arms lean and strong, his chest flat and warm as he presses against me.
And I feel like this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.
I don’t know why it feels so good. I’ve kissed — okay, a lot of girls.
And one other guy. I fucking love kissing, messing around with another person for fun, figuring out what gets them off.
But this isn’t like that at all. I feel like I’m on fire, blood pumping through my veins, every inch of my skin screaming to pull Sam closer, to completely consume him.
And it seems like he feels the same way, his hands wandering from my face to my back to my waist as he kisses me, pushing up underneath my shirt.
Suddenly Sam pulls away, grabbing my face to hold me still, his voice barely a breath. “Wait — should we talk about this?”
“Kinda just want to keep doing it, actually —” I whisper back.
“Fair enough —”
He’s chuckling as he launches himself against me once more, and I can feel him relaxing, sinking into me, kissing me with his whole body.
And it strikes me that this is actually fun, that he can laugh into my mouth and I can tickle his sides, that we can be everything we’ve ever been to each other and this too, and I wonder if I can explode from too much joy.
And then he runs his hand down my back and over the thin material of my boxers, gripping my ass and pulling my hips flush with his, and I groan so loud that they can probably hear me all the way down the street.
Sam freezes, then starts to giggle silently. “Shhh — we have to be quiet — we can’t —”
“Maybe if you weren’t so goddamn sexy —” I hiss back.
I’m grabbing his wrists, pinning them on either side of his head as I roll him onto his back, flattening him under my weight.
And I’ve wrestled with him before, but never like this, never when every cell in my body is screaming for more, more, more —
Sam’s eyes are wide as he stares up at me, but then he softens, relaxing into a smile. “Hi —”
“Hi —”
And then we’re kissing again, even more desperately than before.
It doesn’t matter that there are at least five other strangers sleeping in this basement.
It doesn’t matter that we have to be silent, that I can’t let out every gasp and groan echoing in my head as he drags his fingers down my spine.
It doesn’t matter — well, it matters a little that Roxie and Blake are sleeping in an actual bed upstairs while Sam and I are down here doing this on the floor.
We’re going to have to negotiate equal private time with them. I mean, if Sam wants to do this again —
Fuck, shut up, brain —
Because Sam is underneath me, and he’s letting his knees part so that I can settle on top of him. And he’s hard — fuck, of course he’s hard, because I am too and if I can feel it, he can feel it — and I don’t know what I’m doing but I know I want to find out, need to feel, need to know —
I slide my hand down Sam’s belly, placing my palm over the bulge in his briefs.
He gasps into my mouth, his hips bucking against my hand, but he doesn’t push me away, so I kiss him, my tongue deep in his mouth as I stroke him carefully.
But when I slip the tips of my fingers underneath his waistband, he closes his hand around my wrist, holding me in place.
“Are you sure?” he breathes.
“I’m sure.”
Sam nods imperceptibly, and then he eases his underwear down his thighs, making room for me to wrap my hand around his bare cock.
And maybe it’s a little weird, the angle unfamiliar, but I know what to do, my hand moving up and down his shaft as he shudders against me, his fingers clutching my shoulder.
“Can I —” Sam whispers, and I nod, because I know he knows what he’s doing.
So I pause as he pushes my boxers down, setting my cock free. He spits into his palm, but instead of closing his hand around me, he guides us together, my bare cock against his, and I think I’m probably going to die, because it feels so good and I can’t —
“Move —” Sam breathes, grasping my ass with his free hand, and I do what he says, plunking my elbows down on either side of his head and beginning to thrust against him.
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever done before, but the friction from Sam’s hand and the press of our bellies is just enough to drive me wild —
And I don’t know how I got here, doing something so intimate with my best friend, waves of pleasure rolling through me.
But he’s right there beneath me, his eyes shining, mouth open as he pants in time with the movement of my hips.
And I’m flying, my mind a mess of static, euphoria building up in my belly, and Sam is kissing me, his fingers snaking into my hair — and it’s too much, too much —
“Dude, I’m gonna —”
Sam grabs the bottom hem of his shirt, yanking it up to his armpits just in time for me to spill all over his belly.
And then he’s coming too, his head tilted back, mouth open in a silent cry as he lets go.
Finally, he comes to rest, lying on his back with one arm over his head, the other reaching up to caress my face, his eyes full of warmth.
“You’re a mess,” I whisper, and I hope he can hear the affection in my voice.
Sam looks down at himself with one eyebrow raised, then shrugs. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
I strip off my shirt and start to wipe him up, and he covers his face with both hands, his shoulders shaking. “Dude, the whole point of pulling my shirt up was to avoid getting splooge all over something we still have to wear for the rest of tour —”
“Excuse me, shut up,” I reply. “Here I am trying to do something chivalrous —”
He lifts his hands to look at me. “Chivalrous, huh?”
I toss the shirt aside. “Yeah, chivalrous.”
Sam stares at me for a second. Then he reaches up to grab my neck, pulling me down on top of him and kissing me soundly.
“Thank you,” he whispers firmly.
When we settle down again, I lie on my back on the thin mattress, and Sam snuggles on top of me, curled underneath my arm, his cheek resting on my bare chest. And a week ago, I wouldn’t have known that this was what I wanted. But now that it’s happening, I sure as shit don’t want it to stop.