Chapter Five
Ashley
The digital clock on my nightstand glows in the dark, but I barely glance at it.
If I do, I’ll see what time it is and curse myself for being a fool.
It was ten when I left Matt’s place, eleven when I stormed into my grandparents’ house and ran to my room before they could see the state of my clothes.
It was forty minutes later when I walked out of my bathroom after scrubbing my body and washing Matt’s cum off my thighs.
But I couldn’t wash off the memory of his hands on my skin.
Of his lips…
Of the way he looked at me when he said no one will ever know. Like he meant it. Like he was already carrying it for me before I’d even finished asking.
Sweet baby Jesus. Am I out of my mind? I could excuse the first time—well, not quite, but I could argue that the man had pushed me to the edge, and the hand job was me pushing back.
Self-preservation of sorts. Not sure that would make sense to anyone with a functioning brain, but it’s the darn truth.
The fact that it aroused me was only an aftereffect.
But today…
I roll onto my side and press my face into the pillow.
Today, I crossed a line.
And I’m not sorry.
That’s the worst part. I lie here in the dark with my body still humming from what he did to me, with the taste of him still on my tongue, with the memory of his weight pressing me into his couch, and I’m not sorry.
I keep waiting for the regret to land, and it doesn’t.
What lands instead is the way he watched me when I begged him to promise.
The roughness in his voice when he said not from me.
Not ever. The fact that for the first time in days I felt like someone had me.
I finally glance at the alarm clock, horrified to discover it’s not even midnight yet and won’t be for another hour. Looks like I’m not getting any sleep tonight.
Damn it. Damn him.
If I’m not sleeping, then neither is he.
I sit up before I can talk myself out of it.
I can’t lie here in the dark for seven more hours with my body remembering him and my head spinning circles.
I need to look at him in the light and figure out what this is.
Or I need to look at him and decide it’s nothing. Either way, I can’t do it from here.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, the cold floor sending a shiver up my spine.
I don’t change out of my nightshirt but simply grab a coat from my closet, snatch my phone and keys from the nightstand, and sneak out of the house, keeping the lights off so as not to wake my grandparents or alert Penny, who sleeps in their room.
They both have trouble hearing anyway, so I’m not too worried about them hearing the car engine.
The roads are empty because only someone reckless would be caught driving in the middle of the night to talk to her patient about the sex they had, but reckless is what I am tonight.
His lights are off when I pull up to his house, but I notice one come on as I turn off the engine.
I take a few breaths to calm my racing heart before stepping out.
The front door opens before I can knock, and then Matt steps out.
He’s wearing sweatpants again—he seems to have an endless supply of them—and he’s shirtless.
I’ve seen the man shirtless before, but tonight, he looks different.
I feel the saliva dry up in my mouth, and my mind goes blank as I stare at him.
I open my mouth to say something—anything—but what comes out isn’t what I expected.
“What is the second lesson?”
Hands circle my waist, and my mouth is on his before either of us can think.
His hands drop to my hips and tighten—for half a second I feel him start to lift, the instinct of a man who’s used to relying on his strength.
Then he catches himself, the muscle in his jaw tightening as his left shoulder warns him off.
His grip stays, but he walks us backward through the door instead, his mouth never leaving mine, kicking the door shut behind us.
It barely registers where we’re going. His lips attack mine with need, and I manage to surface long enough to spot the bed before his mouth is back on mine and his hand is tugging open my coat.
“Take it off,” he growls, holding me close as I release him to shrug off the coat. Something flashes in his eyes when he sees what I wear underneath. The thin, white nightshirt doesn't leave much to the imagination, and the way those eyes run over my body sends a wave of heat warming my core.
Matt walks me to the foot of the bed, and his hands settle on my hips, holding me there. “I want you naked.”
Christ.
I grip the hem of my shirt and yank it over my head before letting it drop to the floor, leaving me completely naked in front of a man I have no business wanting.
The desire I see in his eyes as he scales over my body sends wetness pooling between my thighs.
“I…I want to see you naked too,” I manage, needing to feel the press of his body against mine.
Without any barriers this time. If I’m going to cross the line again, then I’ll make it worth the consequences.
His eyes remain on mine as he steps out of his sweats, and I gasp as his cock bobs free.
The sheer size of it, the length and the thickness of him, never fails to amaze me.
It keeps getting bigger every time I see him, or maybe it’s just my imagination.
How is that supposed to fit, I wonder. How much is it going to hurt?
He doesn’t let me overthink it as he cups my nape and pulls me back into a kiss, wiping all thought from my mind.
We tumble back onto the bed, and I sigh at the press of his naked skin against mine.
My hands scale his shoulders and back greedily, seeking to feel his muscles shift under my fingertips.
I moan into the kiss as my nipples harden against him, turning sensitive, so I move to rub the peaks against his chest.
“You’re wet,” he rasps against my lips, the hardness of his cock nudging against my folds.
I whimper when he slides his hand between us and dips his middle finger into my pussy. Pleasure shoots through me as he finds my aching clit, which has been sensitive since I left his house hours earlier. My body responds to his touch like it knows him, almost like I belong to him.
“Fuck, how are you so wet?” he rasps, bumping his nose against my jaw as he moves to kiss my throat, panting into my skin and sending pockets of goosebumps spreading all over my body. “I want to be inside of you. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you left.”
Since I panicked and ran out, he means. “Do it.”
“Not yet,” he rasps, pushing up to take my lips in another memory-erasing kiss. “I want you to be ready when I fuck your tight little pussy for the first time.” My heart jumps at his words, and when he pushes back to look at me, I realize that he knows.
“How?”
Humor finds room in those heated eyes. “How do I know you’re a virgin?” I whimper when his middle finger slides down to my entrance, tapping at the sensitive nerves. “It’s written all over you, Ashley. But the awkward hand job you gave me clued me in on it.”
“You said it was perfect.”
“I know, baby,” he says, pushing his finger gently into my entrance, making me gasp. “It was perfect. Just like you.” His breathing turns just as labored as mine as he inches his finger deeper into me, making me jolt when he grazes a sensitive nerve.
“Matt—”
“Good?”
“Yeah,” I moan when he strokes that spot again, sending little sparks of fire shooting through my body. His thumb joins the party, stroking my clit as he slowly thrusts in and out of me, his eyes firmly on mine. Undoing me with their intense gaze.
“I’ll make it better,” he promises.
I don’t know how he’s going to do that, but I can barely think as he adds another finger, thrusting slowly in and out of me, stroking the sensitive flesh I didn’t know I had inside of me.
I feel a pressure that’s unlike anything I’ve felt before, spreading from my core to my stomach and the rest of my body.
I grip his shoulders, squeezing hard as I feel myself crest.
“Oh God…Matt. I—”
I throw my head back as pleasure rockets through my body, spreading to the tips of my toes and leaving rough tremors in their wake.
My pussy clenches hard around the thrusting fingers, pulsing with so much pleasure it borders on pain.
I cry out his name, trembling as white stars shoot behind my eyelids.
“Fuck, Ashley!”
The orgasm seems to last forever, but his words pull me back to find dark eyes watching me, heated.
There is something dangerous and feral about the way he’s watching me, and I’m scared to ask.
Terrified that whatever this man is thinking would be enough to send me running out of the house and into the dark, braving the night elements rather than the thinly veiled beast hiding within the man.
“Matt,” I whimper when he pulls out his fingers, gasping when I feel his blunt shaft press against my entrance, slowly pushing into me. “Oh, God.”
“Look at me,” he growls when my eyes begin to shut. “I want to see you when I fuck your pussy for the first time.”
My core clenches at his crass language, and that only seems to turn him on. Still, I keep my eyes trained on his, biting down a cry at the sting when his cock stretches me. It hurts—I knew it would—but heavens, he’s so big. So thick.
“Matt,” I gasp, gripping his shoulders hard as he sinks deeper into me.
“I’ve got you, baby,” he says through clenched teeth, leaning down to press his forehead against mine. Our breaths mingle hotly between us in a way that feels too intimate. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“What…ah!” I cry out when he slams forward and buries himself fully. The flash of pain is quick and lasts only a few seconds before it gives way to a dull throb. My walls clench tightly around his shaft, so tight that I’m afraid to move.
“Fuck,” he groans, dropping his head to my shoulder.
“Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry.” His voice is pained, and when he pulls back, I read it in his expression too.
His shoulders are trembling, and I can see the strain of the surgical site holding him up, but his eyes are clear and steady on mine. “Are you okay?”
“I…” I croak, and I feel tears cloud my eyes, alarming him.
I blink, and the tears fall, but when I open my mouth, no sound comes out.
It hurts, sure, but the feeling of having a man I’ve only known for about a week inside of me, overwhelms me.
It’s more intimate than I was prepared for.
I can feel him, the length of him, inside of me.
But I can also feel the beat of his heart against my chest as he can feel mine.
I feel his breath on my lips and the warmth of his skin.
It’s overwhelming.
“Baby—”
“I’m okay,” I whisper, cupping his jaw and bringing his lips down to mine. “It doesn’t hurt. It’s…”
“I know,” he breathes against my lips, and something tells me that maybe he does understand.
“Make love with me.”
“I don’t know how to do anything else,” he rasps, cupping my breast and rolling his thumb over the peak as he rolls his hips gently before he starts thrusting in and out of me.
His mouth finds mine again, his tongue stroking slowly, and soon, the dull throb between my legs gives way to pleasure.
I moan as he pumps his cock, rocking gently until I find that I want more.
My hands drop to his waist and nudge him forward, writhing under him as I seek more pressure.
“Matt,” I whimper into his lips. “Faster, please.”
“Are you sure?” he rasps, moving his lips to the column of my neck and kissing the sensitive spot behind my ear. “You don’t want me to lose control, little rabbit.”
“Please.”
Whatever control he seems to have been grasping onto snaps as he starts pumping faster into me, panting against my ear and sending goosebumps all over my skin. My moan is loud as I rock up to meet his thrusts, crying out when he dips his hand between my legs and strums my clit.
“Matt, Oh God!” I cry out as pleasure floods my core in strong waves. He drives faster into me, skin slapping against skin as he rubs my clit in circles, cruel in the way he forces me back to the edge. “Matt!”
“I’m going to come inside of you, Ashley. I’m going to make you mine.”
“Yes!” I sob, dropping my hand to his muscular butt and pulling him harder against me as I feel myself teetering closer and closer to climax. “D-do it… Fill me. Oh God, Matt…make me yours.”
“Fuck,” he roars, bearing into me. He slams harder and faster, stroking my clit ruthlessly.
I scream when my entire body breaks open with ecstasy, shaking like I’m possessed.
He drives into me faster, and I cry out when I feel him swell inside of me, his muscles steeling against me before I’m filled with his release.
He strokes me through the climax, his and mine.
Drilling his shaft into me even as I shake and tremble, as my pussy pulses feverishly around him.
“Oh, God!” I sob, dropping my hands from him to scratch at the sheets, feeling everything at once.
Every inch of my body is sensitive as he slows his movements, pushing his thick shaft in and out of me, his cum spilling hot inside me with every slow thrust. Marking me.
Claiming me. He promised he would, or maybe it was a threat—I don’t remember.
It takes forever to come down from the high, and when he finally collapses against me, my mind is blissfully blank. I feel his heart beat against mine and the harsh exhale of his breath against my skin. And it’s perfect.
I sigh when Matt wraps his arms around me and rolls onto his back, bringing me along with him. “A minute, baby,” he whispers, brushing his lips against my temple and holding me close to his beating heart. “A minute more, then I’ll grab something to clean us up.”
“Hmmm,” I mutter, closing my eyes and losing myself to the music of his heartbeat. I don’t realize I’m dozing off until Matt pulls away, making me whine as I lose the warmth of his body. “Just a moment, I’ll be back.”
I sigh and bury my face in his pillow. I feel the press of something warm between my thighs, but I’m too tired to open my eyes and look.
The next thing I feel is Matt shifting me and tucking me under the covers before joining me underneath.
He pulls me back against his chest, and I sigh sleepily when his lips brush mine softly.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I murmur. “Back home, I couldn’t sleep a wink.”
His arms tighten around me. “You’ll sleep now.”
And so, I do.