Chapter 8
Reid
I’ve been taking Penny home for the last week, and I hate to admit it but I kinda look forward to it. It’s nice to have a bit of a routine and something to keep the days from blurring together. Even if half the time we’re sparring with each other and the other half we’re sitting in silence.
She did connect her phone to my car’s system though and has been playing music on the rides home. I hate to admit it even more that she has good taste in music. I’d like to think that my influence on her from years ago is part of that.
The breeze runs its fingers through my hair as I lean against my car, waiting for her to get done working. I fire off a quick text.
Me: I’m out front whenever you’re done
Penny: I’m off in 10
We exchanged numbers a few nights ago after she got off early and I wasn’t here to get her.
I found her halfway to her apartment, walking alone in the dark, red hair a beacon beneath the full moon.
My number has always been something I’ve been wary about giving out, but that night I demanded she put it in her phone and give me hers in return.
Just as I’m about to pocket my phone, it starts buzzing with my best friend’s name lighting up the screen. I briefly glance down the street, just to make sure I’m still alone, before bringing it to my ear.
“Thought you lost my number,” I say by way of greeting.
His full laughter echoes over the line. “Aw, don’t miss me too much, that can’t be good for you,” Nikolai says. “Besides, phone goes both ways.”
“No shit?”
“Always with the sarcasm,” he drawls. “What have you been up to lately?”
Not much, just reconnecting with my foster sister and driving her around because I can’t get her out of my head after years of suppressing her memory and now being fueled by her stubbornness that rivals even my own.
“Eh, the usual,” I answer. “How’s the album shaping up?” I try not to let any sort of hurt seep into my tone. He’s not under any obligation to have me back in the studio with him, but when he first started this solo project, he invited me in to work on a few songs with him.
But ever since that last session when his and Jane’s relationship came to light and they went all in on each other again, he’s been in the studio by himself.
I respect the hell out of him for it, doing so much of the heavy lifting of the production side on his own when he never had to do that with the band, but I miss it. And miss him.
But clearly the inspiration from Jane has been enough that he hasn’t needed me anymore—or my help.
“It’s good, it’s in the final mixing stage,” he says. “Wanna come over and listen to it when I get it back?”
“If you want me to.” We used to drive around and listen to the final albums as a band, the four of us piled in Walker’s car while we drove around the hills and relished in what we created.
Never again.
“Of course I want you to. I want you to be the first one to hear it.”
“You mean before Jane?”
He pauses. “Alright, second one to hear it.”
I laugh softly, the demotion not stinging like I thought it would. I’ve accepted that Jane is his person, his number one priority, and that I’ll never be his first choice anymore. Nikolai is the best friend I’ve ever had, and I’m happy that after all these years, he and Jane sorted their shit out.
Besides, I got my closure with the two of them months ago.
“I told you about the release party, right?” he asks.
I search my memory and come up empty. It’s more likely that he forgot to tell me, rather than me forgetting. It’s not something I would’ve let slip from my mind.
He takes my silence as an answer. “Dude, I texted you about it last week!”
“You definitely didn’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Because I actually haven’t heard from him in almost two full weeks, but who’s keeping track?
He blows out a breath. “After Labor Day, I’m having a release party for the album, and I need you there.”
“That’s almost a month away. The record isn’t being released until then even though it’s done?”
He scoffs and I can hear the scowl in his voice as he says, “Label bullshit. They wanna wait until at least two full years have passed since the band broke up. Don’t want it to appear too soon, or something.” Then he mutters, “Like an extra month is gonna matter to anyone but them.”
As much as I sometimes miss making music, I don’t miss the business side of it. Never had the patience or tolerance for it.
“That’s shitty, man. You should just leak it yourself.”
“Ha! That would really start this solo project out on a great note.”
“Solo project…” I whisper, then clear my throat. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
A pause, and then, “Me neither. I didn’t want it to be this way. I tried but you—”
“Let’s not start down that road again. Can’t change the past.” What’s the use in dwelling on what could’ve been, when all our problems got in the way?
Nikolai expels a heavy breath. “I’m going to invite Hayden and Walker, too. I want all my best friends there.”
The last time I saw Walker he was punching Nikolai for sleeping with his sister behind his back, so at least I was spared a break that time. And Hayden…well he tends to follow Walker’s lead, so as long as the two of us still aren’t speaking, Hayden isn’t either.
Even if we had a slight understanding with each other after I helped take care of his girlfriend’s shitty ex.
I look up at the darkening sky. There used to be nights where I’d look up at the stars as a kid, not knowing better or how the real world would ultimately shape me, and dream of living out here. Making music. Playing onstage for thousands where everyone knew my name.
I had it.
The four of us did.
And we broke it.
The alley door to On Tap swings open, and a moment later Aspen steps out.
Even in the dim lighting, I don’t miss the way her tank top hugs the dips of her waist and shows the smallest sliver of her pale stomach where it rides up from her jeans.
She locks eyes with me and the small smile on her face is enough to perk me up a little bit.
“I gotta go,” I tell Nikolai as I straighten. “Text me the details of the release party again, okay?” Even though I know if I look back through our texts, I never got them in the first place.
“Will do. You should come over for dinner again soon.”
“Just dinner?” I smirk.
“Just dinner,” Nikolai laughs, and I’m glad that the three of us can joke about the last time I went over to their house for dinner and we all got a little more than we bargained for. Glad it didn’t make things weird between him and Jane, or me and her for that matter. “Talk to you later.”
“Later.” I hang up as Aspen approaches.
“Who actually had you smiling? I thought I might’ve been seeing things when I stepped out here and saw a grin on your face.” She adjusts the strap of her purse while she cocks a hip out to the side.
I wave her off. “I smile, you know. Just not for you.”
“If you smile for anyone, it should be for me. Who else is giving you any sort of company these days?”
I can’t tell if she’s digging to see if I’ve been filling my time with someone else or if she’s just teasing. A good chance of both.
“I don’t see anyone else giving you much attention lately, either,” I say and unlock the doors before swinging hers open for her.
“Oh, that’s never a concern for me,” she says in a sickly-sweet tone.
I slam her door shut and walk around to the driver’s side. She stands on the sidewalk laughing, not even batting an eye at my action.
“Don’t go big-brother protector mode on me.
” She chuckles and reopens it. “I’m a little too old for that now.
” She ducks into the car and I take a moment before doing the same.
I inhale a deep breath through my nose, willing patience to come and thoughts of whatever sort of company she may have to get the fuck out of my head.
I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s twenty-one, beautiful, and I’m reluctant to admit it, but has a fast tongue that I’m sure gets her far.
But it bothers me.
I get in the car, the air stuffy after sitting for a while, and immediately flip on the AC. Aspen sighs appreciatively and adjusts the fans until they blow directly on her face.
“I don’t miss the cold and snow,” she says over the sound of the engine starting. “But I do miss not sweating instantly anytime I step outside.”
I pull away from the curb and start our drive home. “After this many years, and playing outdoor festivals in the heart of the summer, I’m finally adjusted to it.”
“I thought three years would’ve been enough, but guess not. Maybe in another three.”
“Have you ever been back home since moving out here?”
“That’s not my home,” she scoffs. “Just like it’s not yours. I have no interest in ever going back there.”
“Me either,” I mutter.
“Yeah, trust me, I know. Figured that out when you left me.” She crosses her arms and slumps back in the seat.
Again with this? “Do you have some sort of vendetta against me that you’d like to get off your chest? Cause that’s yet another time that you brought up me abandoning you. I did everything I could to still look out for you, even as I tried to put it all behind me.”
“Look out for me?” she exclaims. “How were you looking out for me when you left and I literally never heard from you ever again? I get it, you wanted to forget about our shitty circumstances and start over a new life, but in the process you forgot about me!”
“I didn’t forget about you! Christ, why the hell else would I have sent you monthly checks to go toward a college fund for you? Because I didn’t give a fuck what happened to you?”
Her mouth gapes open as she blinks at me, the hardness behind her eyes morphing into confusion. “What college fund?”
I didn’t bring it up before because I was trying to not be a dick for once and act like I’m high and mighty for sending her money for years. Hell, I don’t need a thank you but maybe not outright hostility all the time.
“The checks I sent for you,” I say, rubbing a hand down my face. I’m suddenly exhausted, even though I didn’t do anything today.
She slowly shakes her head. “I never got any checks.”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “Ever since I got my first paycheck out here, I sent money back for you. Not a lot at first, but whatever I could manage.” Even when we were little, she talked about going to veterinary school.
Being in the circumstances we were in, I knew her shot was slim to none, but if I could get out, I wanted to extend her a hand, too.
Even if I didn’t want anything to do with my past in Pittsburgh.
Her face goes through a range of emotions before she says, her voice gritty, “I never saw any money.”