Chapter 25
Reid
Itook more than a night to think on it. I take almost a week before I text Nikolai.
Me: Fine let’s do it
His reply is almost instant.
Nikolai: Hell yeah dude. This is gonna be great I know it
I sure as fuck don’t, but I’ll take his eternal optimism.
Me: I assume you and Arun already have some sort of plan?
Nikolai: Yeah he found a great house up in Joshua Tree that we can get for a couple nights in two weeks
Me: So what exactly were you planning on doing if I said no?
Nikolai: Use it as a mini vaca with Jane
Me: Of course. Well you better get the other two onboard
Nikolai: No problem. You were the biggest obstacle in the way
Me: Fuck off
Nikolai: Do you wanna send the text in the group or should I?
Me: …you’re kidding
Me: You send the text this was your idea
Me: Plus no one will respond if I do it
Nikolai: Fine! I’ll do it
Nikolai: Jane says you need to grow some balls
Me: I didn’t hear any complaints about them from her before
Nikolai:
A few minutes later though, a text comes through in a group chat with the four of us with the proposition.
I wait a few minutes to respond to see if the other two do first. But it’s crickets, and I’d bet big money that Walker and Hayden are texting each other on the side to see what they’re gonna do.
That’s how it’s sort of been the last couple of years.
Walker and Hayden.
Me and Nik.
Although Nikolai’s always been the middle man, hence why he’s the one getting this plan rolling.
Me: I’m in
Nikolai immediately hearts the message. I grab a meat stick from my pantry and eat it while walking around my house.
My phone is quiet. I didn’t expect to feel…
nervous, waiting for their replies. I was so concerned about deciding if I wanted to do it or not, that I didn’t think about the fact that the other two would have to decide as well.
And they both could very well say no. Especially while Walker deals with his shit with Scar, and Hayden is planning his goddamn wedding.
I walk by the shelves filled with pictures, memories I’ve tried to block out but never want to forget. The four of us traveling the world, doing what we love. Together.
A buzz in my pocket has me almost dropping my snack as I scramble to grab it. I read the text over and over again, for the first time in my life allowing something like hope to bloom in my chest.
They’re both in.
Nikolai sends through more details and everyone agrees on the dates.
Two nights in Joshua Tree, just the four of us.
Mere months ago, I truly never thought something like this would come together. My heart pounds in anticipation, and I feel the need to move. To do something. I already worked out this morning after Penny left. But this restless energy needs some sort of channel.
My feet move on their own accord, like they have a destination but don’t want to tell my mind yet. I walk to the staircase leading to the basement and pause at the top step.
I force myself to stare at them. My guitars, hanging lifelessly on the wall where they have never belonged. They belong in my hands, on the road, in the studio. Being played, being loved, being a vessel for art.
I pad down the first few steps, stopping in front of my favorite blue electric guitar. It’s the one I had on our final tour, and I played our last Whisper Me Nothings show with. I could barely stand to touch it long enough to even hang it on these hooks.
Now, my fingers itch to grab it. To feel its familiar weight. My hands shake slightly as I pull it off the wall.
I don’t know what I expected. Some sort of earth shattering moment. A lightning bolt to strike me down for all the sins I caused to put this beauty in retirement well before it deserved it.
But nothing happens. I hold it in my hands like I always have. Like I never stopped.
It still has my favorite black leather strap attached and it fits like a glove over my shoulder as I slip it on. The weight settles onto my left shoulder and I finally feel…balanced again. Like I’ve been off-kilter ever since I took it off after that final show.
I run my fingers over the smooth blue alder body. It’s cool beneath my touch, like it’s been waiting for me to bring it to life once more.
I know this trip isn’t about creating music and getting our careers back on track, but I need to bring this with. It’s a resounding thought pounding through my skull. It just feels right.
We made albums with this thing. Played sold out arenas with it. It’s seen the highest highs and the lowest lows. I don’t know if we’ll play music together while we’re there, but if the time comes, I want to be prepared.
A thought pops into my head and I grab my phone again. I pull up Penny’s number. She shouldn’t be at work since she told me this morning that she doesn’t work until three.
The line rings and rings and rings. I double check the time, thinking maybe she went in early, but the line finally clicks.
“Hey, had a quick question for you,” I say by way of greeting.
“Would you be willing to let me borrow your guitar in a couple weeks? I uh, I decided to do the retreat bullshit and I just thought—I don’t know, I thought it’d be special to take it.
” My palms grow itchy, the idea sounding corny as I say it outloud.
“I’ll loan you one of mine in the meantime so you have something to play at work. ”
The line is silent.
I frown and pull the phone away to make sure the call is connected.
“Penny?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” Her voice is quiet, scratchy like she’s been crying.
Concern immediately shoots through my body, causing my spine to go rigid. “What’s wrong?”
I hear a small sniffle over the line before she answers, “My, umm, my mother called me.”