Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Caleb
I’d told Samantha that we were leaving at eight on the dot, and I meant it, I thought as I checked my watch that Saturday morning. She might’ve sounded apologetic for what had happened, but I trusted her about as much as I’d trust any fresh-faced, brand-new ortho intern to reduce my compound fracture on July 1 of any given year.
And so, on that bright May morning, the birds rioted loudly in the trees, and the clear blue sky promised a sun-kissed day. My great mood was on the brink of teetering when eight a.m. came and went, Samantha nowhere in sight.
Figures she’d be late , I thought as I sat in the driveway, drumming my fingers on the wheel of my voodoo-blue Toyota Tacoma truck. I ran my hand over my few-days stubble—I hadn’t bothered to shave, but I would for sure before I saw Lilly, who’d agreed to meet me for coffee later today. I was just texting Sam The bus is leaving when suddenly my passenger door opened and there she was, waving and smiling a startlingly white smile that contrasted with her dark-as-midnight hair, which she wore up in a high, thick ponytail that reminded me of a thick rope of silk.
“Hi,” she said like we were old friends, tossing a brown lunch-sized bag onto the seat.
For a moment, my brain took a detour. I momentarily forgot that we were going to have to sit together in my truck for two hours breathing the same air. She handed me a cardboard drink holder with two steaming coffees as she climbed in.
“Sorry I’m late. I got us some breakfast.” I was confronted by a pair of big brown, worried eyes. Doe eyes that could cause the snarliest grouch to melt. “Peace offering.”
I glanced at the iconic brown bag with a red stripe. “You went to Donut World.” That was the local donut shop around the corner. There was no bad donut there. I should know; I’ve tried every single one.
She clicked on her seat belt, opened the bag, and held it out to me.
“Thanks,” I said, suppressing a groan of ecstasy. First choice? I definitely wasn’t going to let on that cream sticks were my favorite, and one was sitting right there, calling my name.
So Sam was pretty, and she’d brought donuts—that didn’t mean she wasn’t the devil.
I helped myself to the cream stick, not feeling a stitch of guilt.
“They’re my favorite too.” For a minute we devoured our donuts. Then I sat back and placed an earbud in my ear. “You don’t mind if I listen to my book with one of these while I drive, do you?” I was going to set the precedent early. Low expectations on conversations meant less getting in trouble.
“No, of course not.” She reached into a canvas bag and pulled out a giant library book.
Guess my mouth dropped open because she turned and stared at me. “You okay?”
I quickly closed it and wiped my expression clean. “Yeah, of course. Ready to go?” I started the truck and pretended that I wasn’t listening to the same exact book, a popular fantasy novel that was hitting the charts.
About ten minutes in, I started to feel guilty for ignoring her. Not because I wanted to talk with her but because my mom had taught me good manners. I guess I’d half expected her to try to get me to talk, which she didn’t. Which oddly disappointed me. I guess part of me was looking forward to the sparring.
She was sipping coffee and looking out the window when I said, “Whatcha looking at out there?” The entire way to Waukasaw, the highway would be rimmed with tree upon tree. Wisconsin was a beautiful state, and large swaths of it were natural and wild, but I couldn’t understand the fascination—after a while, the landscape tended to look the same to me. Maybe she was staring out the window, secretly plotting my demise.
She started at the sound of my voice, which made me bite down on the insides of my cheeks to suppress my smile. “There’s so much wildlife,” she said. A field with cows grazing flew past the window. More trees. A little lake. “I swear, Wisconsin is the prettiest state.”
“Wisconsin is the land of 10,000 lakes. Didn’t you grow up in Milwaukee?”
“My grandma raised us in an apartment downtown near the hospital. She worked as a nurse, and we didn’t have a car, so we walked everywhere, but our neighborhood was mostly concrete. We didn’t have a patio or a balcony, and it always seemed that outside was so far away, if that makes any sense. Going outside meant walking to the park down the street. And it always meant waiting to go with someone, because Oma didn’t allow us to go by ourselves.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have started this. Because there was more info to unpack about Samantha in those few sentences than I’d learned from my sister in the past three years. “I grew up on a farm in Oak Bluff. I can’t imagine not being outdoors a lot.”
She was still staring out that window, and I was still glomming on to every word she said. “We had a membership to the Y, and I used to swim every day, so we made the most of it. I still remember the first time I saw a cow. It was on a field trip in kindergarten. My grandma had given me a little camera, and I took like, twenty photos of that cow. I’d never seen farm animals up close like that, let alone such wide-open spaces. I’m excited to see them this weekend—cows and pigs and horses. And I love hiking. I can’t wait.”
“You sound super excited.” For some reason, I thought of Lilly, who always carried a sample-sized bug spray hooked to her backpack, and who would only hike if it was less than eighty degrees.
Sam frowned at me. “I am excited. And I’ve actually been to your farm—with Mia. It’s pretty.” Mia had said something about her having a tough childhood, that her grandmother raised her, and that she had a younger sister. That was about all I knew.
It occurred to me that the excited comment might’ve sounded sarcastic. “I didn’t mean the excited thing in a snarky way. When we talk, we tend to argue, but I was just making a statement.”
She shrugged. Like she couldn’t care less whether I was trying to insult her or not. That was the thing about Sam. She didn’t care what anyone thought of her. I knew this because she often spoke her mind, like when the hospital administration told us we’d have to take more call for the same salary. She rose her hand in the meeting and politely yet confidently expressed her opinion. Then she wrote letters and got everyone else to write them too. And you know what happened? We still had to take the extra call. But we got paid for it. Brava, Sam.
I should have just shut up and drove, but something made me want to smooth things over. I blame it on the donut. “So, I know all these obscure facts about our state. Do you?”
She turned and gave me a peculiar look. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”
I rubbed my neck and confessed. “My mom would have my hide if I tried to ignore a guest for two hours.” The truth was, I had no idea why I was making conversation with her. Something about her story got to me, I guess.
“I’m a guest?”
“Well, you’re staying over at my house tonight, so yes, that makes you a guest.” I glanced over at her. “You just said you’ve been there, right?”
“Enough to know your family is much nicer than you.” She shot me a mischievous grin.
“Can’t argue with that.” I couldn’t help smiling. “Then you know what you’re in for.”
“I love your mom,” she said sincerely.
She already knew what I’d been about to say. “Make no mistake. My mom works full time on our farm, but she loves to mother people. Oh, and to cook. You’ve been warned.”
“Once your mom made us lunch.” She opened her arms wide. “It looked sort of like Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Well, I know she misses us kids. Of course, she still has our little dachshund, Cooper.” Sam stiffened just a little, which made me remember something else Mia had told me—that Sam had a fear of dogs. “Cooper’s a love hog, but if you pass, he moves onto the next sucker—I mean person .”
She was strangely silent.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Oh yes, I’m fine. I-I had a run-in with a stray dog when I was a kid. I’m not very comfortable around them.”
“No worries. We’ll keep him in check. Besides, he’s about the size of my foot, so nothing to fear.” I felt like there was a lot more to that “run-in,” but she wasn’t about to share, so I changed the subject. “So do you want to hear my Wisconsin facts or not?” I counted them off on my fingers. “The first ice-cream sundae was made here. We’re the largest producer of cranberries in the US. The largest woolly mammoth was found in Kenosha County. And supposedly, we hate margarine—it was banned until 1967.”
I checked to see if she was bowled over by my vast display of knowledge.
“Is that how you impress women?” she asked. “Because I don’t recommend trying that with Lilly.”
Okay, definitely not bowled over. “Why not?”
“Because it’s show-offy.” I was offended until I saw her mouth turning up. “I have one. Barbie’s hometown is Willows.”
“Which doesn’t exist.”
She pointed a finger at me. “See? Totally show-offy.”
I couldn’t volley back, because her phone rang, and she began talking to someone named Wynn, whom I eventually figured out must be her sister.
I was thinking that I should probably stop talking with her because if circumstances were different, I might actually like her.
“Hey, I’m driving with Mia’s brother,” she said in a low voice. “Is everything okay?”
Then, “You sure? I can call you back once I get to Mia’s house.”
I heard a female voice on the other line. “I-I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to be all right. And I’m going to make you proud, you’ll see. Talk soon, okay?”
Sam dropped her voice, but I still heard. “I love you. You know that, right?”
I didn’t catch the response. But Sam ended the call and slipped her phone back into her purse.
“Everything good?” I asked.
Her joking demeanor had vanished. “My sister’s had a tough freshman year at UW in Madison. She’s determined to stay there this summer and work. But I wish she’d come home and retake a class she needs instead.”
“Where’s home?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I hate to say it, but my apartment for now.” Her crappy apartment? I didn’t know what to say to that. “Wynn’s my only family, and I’m responsible for her. I love her a lot.” She paused. Wait. Was she getting teary-eyed?
Okay, so I guess Protective is my middle name. After we lost Grace, I guess I worried a lot about Mia. And I’ve always tried to look out for her. I touched Sam’s arm without thinking. “I could tell you love her a lot. Want me to take you back? It’s not a problem.” I couldn’t believe it. Less than a half hour in, and I was not only tolerating her but actually talking to her and being nice to her.
She shook her head. “Thanks, but she’s at college. There’s literally nothing I can do but worry.” She swiped at her eyes in that way women do when they don’t want their tears to ruin their makeup. “I had to sell our grandmother’s house last fall to help pay for her college expenses. I think she prefers to stay at college because coming home won’t be the same.” She paused a long time. “Wynn blames me for getting rid of the only home she’s known.” Another swipe at her eyes. “And… I have no idea why I just told you all that.”
I felt helpless. Being a surgeon, usually I solve that problem by taking action. So I exited the highway and drove a half mile down a country road to a lake with a dock, parking in a little gravel lot right in front.
“Where are we?” she asked, glancing around.
“I’m not exactly sure, but it says Priceless View. Let’s get out for a minute.”
She whipped her head from the window to give me an incredulous look. “It did not.”
“It actually said Scenic View but same thing, right?”
“Look, I’m really fine.” She motioned to the steering wheel, as if that would start the truck again. “Just keep driving.”
“Too late.” Out my window, I saw vast, blue water, sparkling in the midmorning sun. The lake was long, with a meandering shoreline, surrounded by forest. And a dock to walk out on. “Look, this is number one of those ten thousand lakes I told you about. We might as well see it.” I’d been here a lot with my family. It was a fun place to bring picnics and kayaks, and it had a quiet, peaceful vibe.
“This is just way too much friendliness for me,” Sam said under her breath as she put a hand on the door.
I gave her my most winning smile. Everything seemed to be making me see her in a different light. Sure, I’d considered her pushy, but she’d probably had to be to get to where she was. “I told you, I’m only trying to get you to stop being upset before we get to my parents’ house, or else my mom’ll blame me.” My mom always told me that even as a young kid, I could never stand to see anyone cry.
She kept a poker face. “Does that mean you’re going to turn back into an asshole after that?”
I burst out in a laugh.
“You’re afraid of your mom? She’s the sweetest mom on the planet.”
“I’m not afraid of my mom,” I said defensively. This woman certainly knew how to push my buttons. Actually, my mom already knew that Sam and I didn’t care much for each other. But she’d still expect me to treat her nicely.
I got out and grabbed my thermos and then ran around to her side to open her door, but she was already walking over to the dock.
At ten a.m., the May sun was bright and strong. The breeze brought riots of birdsong. And the water was a bright, deep blue. I walked out to the end of the dock, gestured for her to sit, and opened the thermos. “Everything looks better with caffeine.”
“I didn’t know you made coffee.”
“Well, you brought some, so I wasn’t going to tell you.”
I poured some out and offered it, and she took a sip. “This isn’t regular coffee.” She tasted it again. “You made cappuccino and packed it up in a thermos? Who are you?”
“A barista,” I said with a straight face. “You like it?”
Her turn to laugh at my joke. As she nodded and handed me back the cup, our hands barely grazed. But I felt an odd flash of heat travel straight through me, a weird awareness that made me so uncomfortable I had to look away, focusing on the opposite shore.
What was that ?
I managed to take a sip, but I was so thrown I couldn’t really appreciate the taste anymore.
“So how did you manage to make a cappuccino?”
I was strangely pleased that my coffee was such a hit. “Well, I cheated.” When she gave a little frown, I said, “The first thing I bought after I was able to make my rent was a restaurant-grade espresso machine. Makes my day every day.” Then I kicked myself. “Sorry. Here I am talking about extravagances.”
“No. This was just what I needed. Your coffee made me forget that it’s hard, trying to parent your sister. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
I thought about my relationship with Mia. “I show love for my sister by tormenting her as much as possible.” I chuckled. “I’ve never been responsible for her, although I did my best to look out for her when she was younger. Especially after our sister Grace died.” I instantly regretted mentioning that. “Now we look out for each other.”
“Mia’s told me about Gracie. I’m sorry.” She paused. “I envy your family. You’re all so close.”
I shrugged. “We had no choice.” I grinned. “My mom and dad were relentless about us loving each other. But it wasn’t easy. All of us had our moments.” I tossed a small stone from the dock into the water. “As for your sister, she made it to college. You must be doing something right.”
“I just want her to have a great life.” She braced, ready to get up, as if conscious her time for having problems was over. “She’s why the hospital job is important to me. It keeps me in close range.”
He nodded. “Nothing like family. I want to work in Oak Bluff one day. Actually, I already interviewed with an ortho there. I’m waiting to hear if I got the job.”
“Well, good luck. Thanks for the detour. And for listening.”
“Hey, no problem.” I noticed that her brown eyes had flecks gold around the rims—I could see them in the bright sunlight. I realized I was staring too intensely and broke off my gaze, busying myself with putting the lid on my thermos.
It had been easy to listen. I sensed something else besides stress… loneliness. She appeared to be going it all on her own, selling houses and supporting her sister. I had this crazy impulse to hug her. But just then, she stood and dusted herself off and we made our way back to my truck. Good thing I didn’t.
“So,” she said, “I just told you about my sister, and that wasn’t completely awful. You want to tell me a little about Lilly?”
I gave her a warning look.
“I mean, we’re going to be spending the weekend together. And I know you don’t want interference, but if I know just a teeny-tiny bit about her”—here she made a teeny-tiny sign with her fingers—“I can talk you up or something.”
“I don’t need you to do that.” I used my most definitive tone. “Actually, that’s why I’m going home a day early—so I can spend some time with her.”
“Okay, I get it. But help me to understand your history. You broke up a while ago, but you think now’s a good time to try to get her back?”
We had an hour left of making nice, but I felt it was prudent to tell her the least amount possible. “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“I could ask your sister.” She reached for her phone. “She’ll give me answers pronto.”
Sisters’ best friends were the worst . “Okay, fine. When we were growing up, I had a crush on her for the longest time. We started dating in college.”
I crossed my arms. “College sweethearts?”
“Yep. Then I got into med school in Milwaukee, and she got a job, and we moved in together.”
“Oh. That’s serious.”
I nodded. “But then med school got tough, and I wasn’t there for her.” Sam lifted a skeptical brow but didn’t say anything. “I know what you’re thinking. Med school is tough. But I was always either in class or studying. Lilly was… lonely. I mean, she gave up everything that she wanted to do for me. I took her away from her family and friends and the job she loved. Her dream was to own the floral shop her family started downtown, and she did—that’s what she does now. A few years have passed, we’ve both grown up, and she recently broke up with her boyfriend, so now’s my chance to see if the magic’s still there.”
Sam went quiet. Which made me really nervous. Not that I needed her approval or anything, but I found myself asking, “Are you processing that or judging me?”
“I’m trying not to judge you. Love is love.”
“I hear a giant ‘but’ in there.”
She gave a casual shrug. “It’s not my place to say.”
“It is if I ask you.”
“Well, okay. It’s just that past relationships are tough, in my opinion, because people have to change so that the reason you broke up doesn’t repeat itself. As time passes, people tend to look back with rose-colored glasses.” She paused. “It takes hard work to understand what really happened and move forward.”
I thought about that. “Med school broke us up, and that stress certainly doesn’t exist anymore.”
“I don’t mean just external factors. I mean internal ones. You have to dig deep and figure out what made you both so unhappy during that time of extreme external stress.”
That was interesting, and I got all of it, but to me there was more. “I feel that Lilly and I didn’t get a fair shot. It’s always been an unresolved issue for me. I want a chance to see if things might be different now that we’re older and more settled.” Then something occurred to me. “Wait a minute. I thought you didn’t believe in love.” Mia had lamented this fact to our mother multiple times. Sam’s such a wonderful person, but she won’t date anyone seriously.
Also, why was I telling her everything, as if she was some kind of love expert or something?
“Not for myself. But my grandmother knew all about it.”
That made me chuckle. “Your grandmother ?”
“Uh-huh. She was a matchmaker.”
“I thought you said she was a nurse.”
“That too. In the newborn nursery. She got over a hundred couples together—for life.” She snapped her fingers. “She could tell in an instant if they were meant to be or not.”
“You’re joking.”
She bristled. “I’m not joking.”
I had so many questions. Like, what was this woman’s batting average? Did the couples really stay together? Was this voodoo a family thing? If it was, I could ask Sam to help me out and reverse the damage with Lilly.
Sam studied me, her expression defensive. It was time to change the subject.
“Anyway,” I continued, “I want to put my best foot forward this weekend—not just with Lilly. Most people like me. I mean, besides you.” She rolled her eyes. “I hope that with the wedding you and I can be mature adults and get along—for Ani and Tyler’s sake.” I held out my hand for a potential fist bump.
She bumped it with her fist, then slapped it with both sides of her hand, like some fancy funky handshake. But I was right with her on that, and I couldn’t help chuckling.
She was interesting, that was for sure. For the first time, I was starting to see a peek of the Sam whom my sister loved. It was a relief, a little bit, but also like a red flashing danger sign. I couldn’t afford any distractions on my way to figure things out with Lilly.