Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Samantha
I slid into the back seat of the Tacoma to find an earnest-looking guy sitting across from me in the not-large-enough space. Was I paranoid? Yes, but I couldn’t help it. My instincts, aided by what Beth had told me about Quinn, had made me nervous.
He was good-looking, with short, close-cropped light brown hair and a Hollywood-worthy jawline. Yet he looked very apple-pie compared to Caleb’s darker, more dangerous looks. “Hey there,” he said, extending his hand. “Name’s Quinn. Quinn Carlson. I went to med school with Tyler.” He broke out into a huge smile.
He was obviously friendly, unlike some people I knew. Caleb turned his head, and I caught his eye in the mirror. I made sure to smile widely right back as I shook Quinn’s hand. “Nice to meet you,” I said. “I’m Sam.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said. “I’m from Milwaukee too. And I have a younger brother the same age as your sister. Actually, I have three of them. Oh, and I’m a huge Brewers fan.”
“Oh, that’s so funny,” Lilly said, turning around. She looked fresh and put together this morning, from what I could see, in a crisply ironed denim shirt and gold hoops. Her lipstick was red and perfect, her hair styled in long pipe-curl waves, the kind that women pay big bucks for.
Did I even remember to put on ChapStick? And also, my thick, straight hair held curl for about thirty seconds, no matter what I did or how many products I used.
I don’t know why I was comparing myself to Lilly. She certainly wasn’t a threat to me in any way. Although I was firmly anti-love for myself, I still wanted to be the person the D’Angelos thought I was—a kind person. No matter what I thought of their son, I didn’t wish bad things on anyone. It made me even more determined to make things right.
That meant that if I had to reach deep to find something positive to say about Caleb, by gosh, I was going to. “So, Lilly, Caleb tells me you own a floral shop?” I leaned forward while I asked, mainly so I could get out of the path of Quinn’s stare, which seemed a little intense.
“My family’s,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear, “but the plan is that when they retire, I’ll own it.”
She seemed nice. I know that Beth’s view was colored by what had happened between her and Caleb, but I decided to keep an open mind.
“I also have a side business painting flowers,” she added. “I sell my framed artwork in my shop.”
“You’re too humble,” Caleb said, admiration radiating in his voice. “Lilly’s paintings are going to be exhibited in a show at the state capitol building in Madison next month.”
Wow. She was talented—running a business and with an artistic streak that spread beyond floral design to painting. She was also adorable—bubbly, petite, with tiny feet like Cinderella, whereas mine were more Prince Charming-sized. I was reminded of the time I’d worn fire-engine-red Converses with my prom dress because I refused to wear heels. Oma had said, “You’re certainly not afraid to be yourself.”
Either that or I was just a weird teenager. But the point was, I was always somewhere away from the norms of beauty and probably a lot of other things, but Oma celebrated me just as I was. I had serious doubts that anyone else ever would.
I was startled by a pair of piercing green eyes drilling into me from the rearview. I realized I hadn’t responded. “That’s really impressive,” I said, and I meant it.
“Thanks,” Lilly said in a humble tone. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I mean, I love my job. But being able to paint flowers for actual money is part of my ten-year business plan.”
My business plan was to get my sister off my payroll. Maybe then I’d have time to explore other interests.
“I think you should tell the whole world,” Caleb said, beaming.
Ick. Hey, buddy, eyes on the road was what I was thinking . All we needed was to end up in a ditch because of his googly eyes.
“Thanks,” Lilly said. “I’ve always been interested in all kinds of art, so it was a natural progression.”
I had no other interests besides struggling to find time to work out, reading, and trying to stay solvent.
“Caleb is all math and science,” Quinn said, which didn’t help my plan to make Caleb sound avant-garde—or at least interested in art.
“We’ve always been as opposite as they come,” Lilly said with a nod.
“Maybe not entirely,” Caleb replied. He turned to her again, and I couldn’t quite see his eyes, but I heard something in his voice. Something that sounded like longing. Or at least a sense of nostalgia. We were good together, remember? he seemed to be saying.
I felt something then, quite against my will. His pain. Oh drat. I had to think of something to make this all work out, or I’d never be able to face my best friend again. I’d be steeped in guilt forever.
That’s when I heard Oma’s voice. You know what to do. Get to work .
I didn’t come from a long line of matchmakers for nothing. “Well, you know what they say about opposites,” I said cheerily. “Friction creates fire.” I’d totally made that up. I decided to keep going. “Caleb does appreciate art.” My mouth acted before my brain, as usual. The trouble was, I’d never even been inside Caleb’s apartment. Nothing, absolutely nothing that I knew about him, led me to believe that he thought about, appreciated, or enjoyed art. Yikes.
“He does?” Lilly exclaimed.
“I do hang Emma’s drawings on my fridge,” Caleb said. “She’s a very prolific artist. Her main media is crayons.”
Aw, cute.
Lilly smiled a little, so she probably thought it was too.
“Does paint ’n’ sip count?” Quinn said. “We did that once, right, Cay? It helped us get lai—dates.” He cleared his throat. “It helped us get dates ,” he amended.
Caleb in the rearview looked murderous, reinforcing my gut feeling that Quinn was annoying on many levels—to men as well as women.
“So exactly how does Caleb appreciate art?” Lilly directed her question at me.
I didn’t even dare to look in the mirror, but I felt Caleb’s gaze burning into me. Quinn was half turned toward me expectantly. I had no clue what to say. All I knew was that it had to be good.
“Yes. Um. One time we visited the art museum in Milwaukee. Caleb fell in love with a particular section, didn’t you?” I was flying into uncharted air space here. I only hoped he’d catch on and fly along with me.
“When we went…?” He processed the fact that we’d never gone to the museum together. “Oh yeah, of course. Ancient Egypt.”
Oh come on, Caleb. I signaled via an eye glare in the mirror. Give me something to work with here. I tried steering him in another direction. “I was thinking more along the lines of famous portrait painters. Like, um… Van Gogh, Picasso, Sargent.”
“I love the art museum,” Caleb cluelessly said. “Best view of the lake from anywhere in the city.”
Lilly opened her mouth, probably to say he sucked. I mean, that’s certainly what I wanted to say. Ancient Egypt? Lake views? Come on .
“I love the Georgia O’Keefe’s. She’s from Sun Prairie, you know,” said Quinn. “When I was in Spain last summer, we toured the Prado. I spent two days there. Goya, El Greco, Murillo, Velazquez… Las Meninas absolutely floored me.”
“You know about Las Meninas ?” Lilly said with surprise.
“That’s like, the most appreciated painting in the world,” Quinn said. “Not to mention the first selfie ever.”
Lilly laughed. Caleb looked pained. Absolutely pained. And he wasn’t saying anything either, probably because he didn’t know Las Meninas from las bananas .
I took another tack. “Caleb is kind of an artist.”
“I am?”
I squinted my eyes at his reflection as if to telepathically convey Please let me help you to impress this woman. This was so much harder than I thought. I cleared my throat and tried for sincerity, using my hands to demonstrate. “Well, you sculpt bone and piece—things—together—and stuff.”
I had a very limited understanding of orthopedics. I really didn’t know beyond a basic textbook-knowledge level what went on among the crowd of doctors, nurses, and surgical techs on the other side of my station in the OR. I was too focused on my own job to notice.
Caleb shrugged. “Ortho’s really just working with power tools,” he said.
Lilly stared. Quinn chuckled.
And this was the best Mr. Romantic could do? Power tools? Not romantic or related to art. So I dug even deeper. “Tell them about Joseph’s surgery. Now that was artistry.”
He sent me a confused look. I wasn’t going to risk him screwing this up, so I plunged right in. “This little boy, Joseph, broke his leg so badly that after two surgeries, it was still shorter than the other one, so Caleb and his team did a graft. It took three specialists and many hours, but they let you do a lot of the work, didn’t they?”
“How did you know that?” Forget confused. He was genuinely surprised.
“I was there, remember?” He’d done an amazing job. He had his faults, but he was a gifted surgeon, I’d give him that.
Before another word could escape from his mouth and ruin the moment, I added, “That little boy’s dream is to play baseball.”
Caleb nodded, and I saw the tiniest smile in the mirror. “I think he will one day,” he said quietly.
I put a hand to my chest because I’d felt something viscerally. His pride. In his work and in Joseph’s outcome. Hopefully Lilly did too. Finally!
“Aw, Cay, that’s so sweet,” she said.
Whew, all right. Success! At least, the start of success anyway. I sat back and quietly blew out a breath.
This was going to be a very loooong weekend.
“You still coach that disability basketball league?” Quinn asked.
Oh. New info here.
“Yep, every Tuesday evening. Those kids are great.”
Oh jeez. He coached kids ? I felt something else squeeze in my chest. My heart. Like a big block of frozen ice cream sitting on the counter, I felt one tiny edge get a little soft.
But just a tiny edge. So you do have human qualities, I thought to myself.
The eyes were back in the mirror. Except now they held amusement. “Sometimes, yes.”
Oh no. I’d just said that out loud, didn’t I?
Quinn pushed playfully on my arm. “She’s funny, Cay. So, you two are good friends, huh?”
“Yes,” Lilly said. “Tell us about that.”
“Mia is my best friend,” I said carefully, not wanting to lie. “So of course Caleb and I know each other through her.”
“But we actually didn’t meet through Mia.”
My heart, which was getting quite the aerobic workout, flat out stopped. Please, please do not tell this story, I prayed. Actually, I’d forgotten all about a time when we didn’t want to tear each other’s eyeballs out.
“We met at a residents’ party,” he continued. “On New Year’s Eve.”
I’d managed to somehow erase that entire incident from my memory. Only the bitter aftertaste remained. I had no idea why he’d brought it up, but I really didn’t want to relive it again, so I did damage control. “And we realized we’d be working together in the OR. And we figured out that Caleb was Mia’s brother.” I shrugged. “So voilà.” I flourished my arm and smiled widely. “Instant friendship.”
Caleb rolled his eyes. I glared—the most I could do outside of saying stop.
“It’s got to be more interesting than that,” Lilly said with a laugh. “Tell us more.”
I struggled to think of something positive. He’d been the one to bring it up, but I was going to control the narrative. “Caleb saved me from the worst date of my life.” Caleb’s eyes narrowed. “On New Year’s Eve.”
And that worst date of my life? Yeah. It had happened to be him .
Well, technically, we weren’t on a date, but we’d spent the entire evening together. We’d met in the bar line at a trendy East Side bar a few years ago and started talking. Then we sat down together at a table. Two hours later, we were still talking. And then we danced. But every story has an unexpected twist, right?
My new share-a-ride friends asked for details. So I plunged in. Like I said, Caleb had brought this up, but I was going to tell it my way.
“My date disappeared right before midnight. Imagine that.” I paused for drama. And also so that Caleb could sweat this out more—if he had a soul that was capable of feeling bad about things, that is. I embellished by waving my hands. “Poof, gone. Right into the snowy thin air.”
It had been so embarrassing, I hadn’t even told Mia. Neither had he, supposedly, because she never once mentioned it. And it was just as well.
Lilly spun around. “Get out . Your date ditched you right before the countdown ?”
I confirmed that with a nod. “Ditched in the final minute. No, wait—make that seconds .”
“Oh my God.” Lilly covered her mouth in shock.
“Maybe it wasn’t personal, as you seem to make it out to be,” Caleb said in a measured tone.
My anger flared up. I told myself not to react, not to respond. But I couldn’t help myself. “How does one not take that as personal?”
“Yes, really,” Lilly agreed. “The jerk.”
“I’m a little lost,” Quinn said, which reminded me to calm down. After all, it happened a long time ago, shortly after I’d become friends with Mia. I hadn’t even known that Caleb was her brother.
Lilly turned to Caleb. “So did you help her after that guy ghosted her?”
“I did.” He looked directly into the mirror. “And apologized profusely for the bad treatment.”
He did show up, ten minutes later, when I was gathering my coat and heading for the door. “Hey, I’m really sorry about that,” he’d said. “I had to take that call.”
I just sort of stared at him. “Hope everything is okay?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I-I enjoyed talking to you. But I’ve got to be honest—I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
Things had gone from smoking hot to icy cold. A complete one-eighty. And I was floored but trying not to show it. I mean, we’d been having such a fun time. It had been magical—for me anyway. Just goes to show you, I can’t matchmake myself or call any shots on relationships. I’m just not meant to be a relationship person. I have no personal date radar.
“And we’ve been friends ever since,” I said through gritted teeth. “And a pox on that horrible date, right?”
I really had forgotten all about that painful night. Except that it marked the beginning of a very antagonistic relationship that had continued to this day. I had no idea if that call he’d taken was legit or just an excuse to get away, but whatever had happened had changed everything.
Quinn sent me an admiring glance. “I can’t imagine anyone abandoning you right before midnight any night of the year,” Quinn said. “You’re really funny. Pretty too.”
Oooh no. Ouch. My hunch had been right. His tone, his sideways smile, his bright-eyed look. It all added up to interest I did not want.
“Pretty snarky, you mean,” Caleb muttered under his breath.
I ignored that and smiled at Quinn. “Well, thank you. But don’t you worry, I never gave that guy a second thought.”
“Oh look,” Lilly said, pointing forward. “We’re here.”
And it couldn’t be soon enough. After miles of trees and highway and little else, we’d come upon a long white picket fence surrounding a stretch of woods and a wooden sign into which letters were carved that announced we’d arrived at Whispering Meadows Farm.
Caleb wound the truck up a winding drive past orchards and rolling hills with grazing cows, to a large white farmhouse complete with a giant covered porch with a swing and bright red flowers spilling out of planters. Two barns, one red and one white, stood behind the house. We saw a sign pointing toward the outdoor space where the wedding would take place in a few weeks, which was in a field by a creek. It looked gorgeous in Ani’s photos, but I couldn’t see it clearly from the truck. “We’re definitely here,” Caleb seconded.
Farm experience, here we come . I tried to think positively, but honestly, I couldn’t wait to see Gabe. He was my only hope to survive this weekend, between whatever was going on between Caleb and Lilly and whatever Quinn thought was going to go on with me (but wasn’t).
Lilly opened her door as soon as the truck rolled to a stop. “I made everyone’s reservations, so I’m going to hop out and make sure everything’s in order, okay?”
“I’ve got to use the restroom,” Quinn said as Caleb and I exited the truck. “I’ll come with you.” He lifted his and Lilly’s bags from the truck bed and followed her to the porch.
That left me standing there with Dr. Devil. A cow mooed. Such a foreign sound. Why couldn’t we have done a girls’ spa weekend instead?
I was so unsettled that I could barely think. I had to get something off my chest. “Why did you mention that party?” I asked Caleb, who had let down the tailgate and was zipping something into his duffel bag.
He stood up straight and faced me. Up close, his eyes were the color of sea glass. So startling. “Lilly asked how we met, and I wasn’t thinking.” He rubbed his neck, the first time I’d ever seen him look even slightly uncomfortable. “I guess I’m a little nervous. I’m sorry for mentioning that.”
He’d sliced open a wound. It was a very old one, but I found myself with an opportunity to say what I’d never gotten off my chest.
“That was really humiliating, being left like that. Not that I’ve thought about it in years, but it was Harry and Sally gone awry. It was every New Year’s Eve fantasy shattered to shreds.” Especially since we’d had such a great two hours. Our relationship had gone downhill from there. I’d gone home with Mia not long afterward, and there he was, still without a real explanation. He’d left me assuming the worst, that he’d wanted to disappear rather than kiss me at midnight. Jeesh.
He gave a here-goes sigh. “The truth is, I’d seen Lilly over that Christmas break, and she called me right before midnight. I was still in love with her, and I took the call. It was rude, and I’m sorry.”
I was momentarily stunned. It had been Lilly on the phone? Lilly had ruined my New Year’s Eve fantasy of meeting the love of your life at random, hitting it off, and having a hot kiss at midnight to seal the deal forever? “For the record, why didn’t you ever tell me that?”
“It was embarrassing.” To his credit, he sounded sincere. “I was trying to move on, but I wasn’t ready. I was really confused.”
Apparently, he hadn’t gotten his happy ending either. “So she wasn’t calling to get back together?”
“It was more of a drunk happy New Year call. I honestly don’t think she knew why she was calling me. Anyway, you didn’t deserve that. I had a great time with you. But the call made me realize I wasn’t ready for anything. So, I’m sorry.”
He’d had a great time too? Why did that strangely matter, even now? Funny how old anger could deflate suddenly and leave you thinking about things in a completely different way. But in some ways, I suddenly thought, the anger had been a lot safer.
“Well,” I said, relenting, “I got you into this trouble with Lilly, so call it even. And also, please try not to be clueless when I’m trying to help you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Egypt exhibits? Lake views?” I threw up my hands. But my tone was more joking than exasperated. “At least help a person out.”
“I didn’t study art, okay? I played sports and studied my brains out to get into med school and that’s it. Give me a break. Also, as I keep saying, I don’t need your help with Lilly, thanks anyway.”
I pretended I didn’t hear that. “You so obviously need help.” I tried to explain. “Like, you need to build layers with her.” I made imaginary layers with my hands in the air. “Layer after tiny layer, and she’ll realize how great you are.” Then I put my hands to my throat and gagged. “I mean, I forgive you for being a douchebag at midnight, but it really hurt to say great just now referring to you.”
He snort-chuckled in a surprisingly loud way as he stood next to me, holding the trunk lid with one hand above his head. It made me suddenly aware of his height, his broad shoulders, his strong body. Plus he smelled pleasant and simple, like soap, no airs. I stepped back, out of range of the distraction.
“I get what you were trying to do,” he said, “but that involved talking about things I don’t know much about. Like art. I’m not going to lie to make myself look better. She’s got to like me for who I am.”
He had a point, but he had a one-weekend shot here. “I’m doing my best here with little to go on. I don’t know you very well.”
“The ortho part was good. I can talk about that.” He folded his big arms over his chest, which I confess was quite a sight. “I don’t need a sassy matchmaker to help me win Lilly back, okay? I can handle this myself.”
An unwanted thrill of pleasure ran through me. Oma used to call me that—sassy. A lot. A quiet longing came over me. And the feeling of my heart ripping open all over again. Grief was something that caught you at the most unexpected times.
And it was always accompanied by the feeling of being scarily alone in the world. Which, for the most part, I was used to. But sometimes…
I decided the best way to honor Oma’s memory was to use my matchmaking skills. Which I somehow had to believe I possessed. I wasn’t Oma’s granddaughter for nothing. I was determined to fix this.
Something made him soften. Maybe I hadn’t been able to hide my moment of vulnerability. “But thank you for trying. I—appreciate it.”
“Wait.” I revved up my jokiness. That usually hid anything else. “Did you just say the A word?”
The corner of his full mouth tilted upward in the tiniest smile.
“I guess I did.” He cracked open that smile. Lord, that smile. Slightly imperfect but really nice, set in a rock-hard jaw. I totally saw how women would light up over that. “ Appreciate and apologize , both in the same day. And both directed at you.”
“Miracles can happen.”
Our eyes met. Something fluttered in my stomach. I sucked in a breath and sort of lost my balance, having to clutch the side of the trunk. What was happening here?
I shook myself out of whatever dazed state this was. It was just… the joking. The friendliness. It had thrown me for a loop. That was all.
The idea that I could be physically attracted to him was utterly horrifying.
It was just all this stress. And the crazy ping-ponging of emotions all over that truck just now. All that work trying to make him look good for Lilly while I was trying to not look good to Quinn.
I got it that attraction sometimes just happened for whatever confusing reason. Hormones, pheromones, whatever. You just had to deal with it. It didn’t mean a thing. It was just chemistry.
He shut the tailgate with a definitive click. “That might be the first thing we’ve managed to agree on.”
“Probably be the last too,” I added. Still smiling, he reached into the bed of the truck and grabbed both his duffel bag and mine.
“I can take my own bag,” I said, running after him and reaching out to take it back.
He stopped suddenly and turned to me. I’d managed to grab onto the handle. “Do you let anyone help you like, ever?”
The answer to that was obviously no , but even though I tugged on the bag, he wasn’t letting go. Lilly walked out of the farmhouse, saw us, and stopped in her tracks. She glanced from Caleb to me and back again. My stomach did a nauseated flip as it occurred to me that it looked like we were holding hands. A little flustered, I gave a final tug until Caleb finally let the bag go. Then I quickly ran ahead, heading alone into the farmhouse.