1. Chapter One
Chapter One
Julian
“And what do we do first, Julian?”
“Umm, we smile first!” Mommy shows me her silly smile, the one that makes her eyes go all small and crinkly.
“That’s right, we always smile first. C’mon, show me.” She pokes my tummy and my sides, it tickles and makes me look like I’m dancing. “Let me see those teeth!”
I stand up straight and push my arms down to my side; she tells me that I’m a big boy when I stand up tall and proud.
I can’t wait to be a big boy, well, a proper big boy.
They get to stay up late and watch the growed-up TV, the ones where they say naughty words.
I hear our neighbour say them a lot when his dog runs out of the gate.
Mommy always tells me he’s saying ‘yuck cake,’ but I know he likes cake; his tummy is ginormous.
Mommy puts her face close to mine, and one of her eyebrows looks like an upside-down tick; that usually means she’s thinking. I stretch my mouth as wide as I can. It hurts a little, but I want to make her smile again.
“Hmmm, there’s something missing here…” I stretch wider, hoping she can see all of my teeth.
I’ve been brushing them really good with my Batman toothbrush.
I even use the spicy toothpaste now, instead of my favourite strawberry one.
Mommy says it’s what all the big boys use and it’s how they get their growed-up teeth.
“Mommy, I’m sh-miling.” My cheeks are starting to hurt, and my eyes are shut so tight I can see all the pretty colours behind them.
“I know you’re smiling, sweetheart, but the happiness is missing.”
What?! I gave her my biggest ever smile. I open my eyes to look at her; she’s shaking her head and laughing a little. “Honey, when you smile at me, do you know what I see?”
“My teeths?” She laughs again.
“Yes, I see your teeth. But I also see happiness in your beautiful blue eyes. They sparkle the same way sunlight reflects off the sea. It’s magical.”
“What?! I have magic eyeballs?!” I open my eyes really, really wide. “Will I be able to see through stuff?” I look at the tree behind Mommy, and squeeze my eyes really hard.
“Julian, baby, look at me,” she’s shaking my hands now, but I don’t want to look at her– what if I have laser eyes?
I’ll just keep them closed, so I can’t hurt her.
“It’s a secret kind of magic, the type only the people you love can sense.
It’s the happiness behind your eyes– it makes them feel happy too.
So, tell me, why aren’t you happy, sweet boy?
” I open my eyes, slowly, just in case I do have lasers.
“I don’t know anyone. What if they don’t smile back at me?”
“Then you smile even bigger. Show them kindness, not everyone knows it, so it’s your job to teach them.”
At lunchtime, the teacher said I could eat my sandwiches outside if I wanted to.
I like her; she always smiles at me, but it makes sense, she’s a teacher, so she already knows everything.
I take my Pokémon lunch box and walk to the bench at the edge of the playground.
The sun is so bright I can’t see very far, so I put my arm over my head and pretend I’m flying, just like Superman.
I stop when I reach the wooden bench, putting my lunchbox on top.
I hope Mommy packed me cheese-spread sandwiches, they’re my favourite, especially when she cuts them into little circles like Pokéballs.
“You can’t sit there!” I look up and see three older girls already sitting with their lunches spread out. I smile at them, just like Mommy said to.
“Why are you looking at us like that? Go away, weirdo!” They don’t smile back, and I don’t think ‘weirdo’ is a very nice name.
“Do you know what kindness is? You just have to smile, like this!” I smile bigger now. I hope I can teach them and make Mommy proud.
“Do you know what ‘go away’ means?!” The one with big glasses and an even bigger nose says.
Her voice is mean, but I don’t know what I did wrong.
I was just trying to teach them how to be happy.
She pushes my lunchbox off the table, and everything falls out onto the floor.
I watch the circle sandwiches roll down the hill, catching stones and dirt like they were Pokémon.
“Woops!” I look at her, confused.
It didn’t look like an accident.
I managed to rescue my carton of apple juice and granola bar, and decided to sit on the grass, away from all of the other kids. Teaching is hard work.
“Who’s your favorite Pokémon? Mine’s definitely Charizard.
Did you know he’s not even a dragon Pokémon?
He’s fire/flying, weird right?!” I look up and see a boy from my class.
He’s taller than me and has a serious look on his face.
His hair is floppy and brown; it reminds me of the hot chocolate Mommy makes me at bedtime, except his hair doesn’t have marshmallows in it.
His eyes are the same colour, with long black lashes that look like lots of little spider legs.
The thought of spiders near my eyeballs makes me shiver, until I remember I could just blast them with my special lasers– pewpew!
I don’t feel like smiling at him right now, though. The only people who smiled back so far are the growed-ups.
I don’t even have time to answer him before he sits down next to me, opens his own lunch box, and pulls out a sandwich.
There’s a weird feeling in my tummy all of a sudden, like it’s being squeezed and squished; it’s the same feeling I get when I go to the dentist. Mommy says it’s fear.
She tells me it’s okay to be scared sometimes, but it’s very important that we try to be brave.
“Want a sandwich? It’s cheese-spread,” he says, holding out a floppy triangle of bread. I decide it’s time to be brave and try to do what Mommy told me again, like a big boy. But when I look at him, he’s already smiling at me, a big toothy grin with sparkly eyes. Kindness, he knows it.
“Umm, thank you.” I take the sandwich and bite into it. It’s the same as the ones my Mommy makes, and all of a sudden, my tummy stops hurting. “My favorite Pokémon is Ditto, by the way.”
I laugh when he turns to face me. He has cheese spread all around his mouth, making it look like he has a white mustache.
“So you do know how to smile!” He says, and it makes me laugh even harder. “My name's Alexander, by the way. And you’re Julian, right?” How does he know my name? “It’s on your lunchbox,” He points at the letters written on tape.
“Can you read my mind?” I ask, trying to think of cool, boy stuff. Wrestling, football, dirt.
“I wish! How cool would that be?! We could talk without any noise and tell each other the answers in class. We would be like superheroes…” He keeps talking, so I try saying his name in my head, but it sounds really long. I can clap four whole times when I say it.
“Al-ix-zan-derer,” I sound it out, but it’s not the same. “Al-i-zan-drer.” Why can’t I say it like he does?
“Like this– Alex-and-er,” he spells it out for me. He’s nice and doesn’t laugh at me for getting it wrong, so I try again.
“A-lic–sadrer– I can’t say it! Why did your Mommy give you such a hard name?” He giggles.
“I don’t know, she died when I was a baby, so I can’t ask her.” He doesn’t have a Mommy? I’d be really sad, and I think I would cry all the time if I didn’t have mine. He doesn’t look sad, though, and he’s definitely not crying; he’s so brave. I think this is what a proper ‘big boy’ looks like.
“What about if I let you call me something different? But only you can use my new name, it will be our first secret!”
“Yeah, okay! But what? Alex?”
“Nah, there’s already an Alex in our class. What if you get us mixed up?” He’s right, I don’t want Alex– what if he doesn’t know who Ditto is? I look up at the clouds and tap my chin; I’ve seen people doing that on TV, and they always get the best ideas after.
“You’re right. What about Zander?” His eyes open really wide, and his mouth stretches so big I think he might swallow his own face.
“YEAH! That sounds so cool! Zander, the bestest Pokémon master EVER.”
I like it when he makes funny voices and smiles at me; it makes me feel happy, too. Then, he says something that makes today not such a poopy day after all–
“And his best friend, Julian.”
When the first day of school is finished, I go home thinking all about my new friend. I think he must have magic in his eyes, too, because his smile makes me happy, just like Mommy said.