Chapter Eleven #2
“How come you didn’t pursue an actin’ career?”
We move into the kitchen since there’s no way I’ll be able to go back to sleep. Colton starts the coffee maker, and I pull out ingredients to make cheesy eggs and sausage. He’s been cooking all week, so I owe him a break.
“I started workin’ more on the ranch in high school, but I still have some star material in me.” He pulls out a couple mugs and grabs the creamer from the fridge.
“I thought you didn’t work on the ranch.”
“Well, I did when I was younger. We all had to.” He leans back against the counter, crossing his ankles. It’s hard not to stare at his nipple piercings and remember our night together when they’re right in front of me. Memories flash of licking them before I can push them out of my mind.
Before he notices, I glance away. “Ain’t that somethin’ your wife would know ’bout you? My parents are gonna know we’re lyin’.”
“Not if we learn more about each other. Tell me everythin’ I need to know ’bout you, and I’ll do the same.” He raises a shoulder. “We’re not gonna be quizzed, right? That’d be weird.”
“No, but what if it gets ’round to your family or the town? That’s gonna be awkward to explain.” I frown, pacing in front of him.
“Then I guess we get married for real. Problem solved.”
My feet halt. “I take back what I said ’bout you being perfect, ’cause you’re outta your damn mind if you think that solves everythin’.”
He grins cheekily. “I was jokin’.”
I glare, causing him to laugh.
“I hate that I wanna impress her. And I hate that it matters to me when it shouldn’t. She didn’t want a daughter. Why am I even considerin’ this? It’s not like either of them would visit me on my deathbed. She didn’t search for me until she wanted somethin’ from me. God, I’m—”
“Amelia.” Colton’s soft tone echoes in my ear before he grabs my shoulders and tilts my chin to look at him.
“You’re allowed to care. If it’ll help the process of facin’ her again, then it doesn’t matter if you aren’t being a hundred percent truthful.
If you never wanna see her again after this, you don’t have to.
Block her number. Change yours. You owe her nothin’. ”
“Except I do.” I relax in his hold, wishing I could feel his warmth against me to settle my nerves. “She wasn’t always this selfish and horrible. Not the best mom, but our relationship got worse after my older brother died.”
“You have a brother?”
I nod, lowering my eyes. “He died ’cause of me, and they never forgave me.”
And I can’t blame them for it, but that doesn’t mean I deserved what they did to me either.
“Whaddya mean?”
“You really wanna have this conversation now? The kids are gonna be up any minute, and they’re gonna want breakfast.”
“We can talk later, if you’re up for it.” He squeezes my arm. “And you don’t gotta make any plans right this second. You can think about it.”
Lily walks in moments later with Benny and her blanket. I scoop her up, kissing her cheeks and rubbing my nose against hers.
The thought of letting my mother meet her makes me want to throw up with anxiety. But if I show up without my kids, she’ll comment on how I’m keeping them from meeting their grandchildren, especially with my father being sick, and how inconsiderate I am.
“Did you sleep okay?” I ask, rubbing circles over her back.
She nods, nuzzling her face in my shoulder.
I set her down so she can say good morning to Colton. He easily scoops her up, and she hugs him. My heart explodes at how good he is with her and how much she adores him.
Would it really be that bad to pretend we were married? The kids wouldn’t know any different considering we’re living here.
“Is your brother awake?” I ask once he sets her down.
“He go bye-bye.”
“What?” I blurt, snapping my head toward the hallway.
I don’t wait for her response before rushing to their room and finding the bed empty.
“Sam!” I shout, going to the bathroom next.
He’s not there either.
“Sam!” I scream louder, sprinting to the office.
“He’s gone!” I tell Colton when he approaches.
“He’s gotta be here somewhere,” Colton says calmly, walking toward the main bedroom. “Sam, buddy. Where’re you?”
The living room is also vacant.
I can’t inhale a full breath, and everything around me is blurry.
“Lily, did you see him leave?” I kneel in front of her, tears welling in my eyes. “Was Sam in bed this mornin’?”
She shrugs. “I dunno.”
I’ve been up for an hour and didn’t hear any noise outside the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean anything. It’s on the opposite end of the front entrance and down the hall from theirs.
“Amelia, stay with Lily. I’m gonna call Bodie and drive ’round the property for him. Maybe he went to the river.” Colton grabs his boots and phone.
“Oh my God…he’s not that good a swimmer. Why would he go down there on his own?”
“He wanted to go fishin’ again, but I told him we should find some other things to do on the ranch, but he was insistent that we go before doin’ those things. And he knows where I put the fishin’ equipment and canoe, so I’ll check there first.”
“Fuck, you think he’d go in the water by himself?”
“I dunno.” He swipes his keys off the counter. “I’ll find out.”
“I can’t just sit and wait,” I cry, panicked.
“You gotta be here in case he returns. I’ll call Bellamy to come sit with y’all.”
“This can’t be happenin’ again…” I mutter, leaning against the wall. “Why would he leave on his own? I told him! I told him to never leave without tellin’ me!”
“Darlin’, look at me.” Colton lifts my chin, crouching in front of me. “Try to stay calm, okay? Breathe. I’ll call as soon as I know anythin’. We’ll find him.”
He kisses the top of my head before squeezing my shoulder.
“Lily, stay with your mommy.”
She sits next to me, wrapping her small hand around my arm. Remy comes to my other side, resting his head on my knee.
“What if the canoe tips over? Or whoever’s been followin’ us was watchin’ the house and saw him leave?
What if he’s not even on the property anymore?
What if someone broke in and took him?” I swallow down the lump in my throat, choking back more tears as my mind spirals with the worst-case scenarios.
“Remy wouldn’t let that happen. He’s trained and would’ve alerted us immediately. When we took Sam fishin’, Bodie and I taught him all ’bout water safety, so if he’s in the canoe, he’s probably wearin’ a life jacket.”
God, I hope so. Better yet, I hope he’s on land.
“Colton, please,” I plead when he stands. “Bring my son back to me.”