Chapter 1 #2
Gemma felt the weight on her chest lift slightly as she confided in Hayley. Maybe finally expressing these feelings would give her the push that she had been needing to make her next move. She just wasn’t sure which direction would be the right one.
“Have you told Eve this so that she can get you other auditions?” Hayley asked, jumping into her Type A planning mode.
Eve was an audacious woman who had signed Gemma to Elite Talent Agency when she moved to NYC.
Within weeks, Eve had secured Gemma’s future on NYPD Intelligence.
She had realized just how good an agent Eve was when Gemma’s salary increased exponentially after the first season and then continued to rise with the success of the show and her character’s popularity.
“Yeah, I brought it up to her a few months ago. She even got me an audition for a movie. A romance set in the 1970s. I tried out for the supporting role. The character was written to be openly queer, even though same-sex relationships were illegal back then. So it was this whole ‘forbidden love’ drama set to shoot here in the city.”
Hayley wiggled her eyebrows at Gemma. “That sounds hot.”
Gemma sighed. “I already found out that I didn’t get the part.”
“I’m sorry, Gem. Hang in there, you’re a great actress, and people will see that you can play more than just a bad ass detective.”
Gemma took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee. “I hope you’re right. I wanted it so bad. It was the perfect part for me, but I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I’ve never been in a movie before.”
“The right role will find you, I truly believe that.” Hayley narrowed her eyes. “Why do I feel like you aren’t telling me anything lately? You know that I would have been there for you when you found out. Did I lose my best friend title or something?”
“You know that no one will ever take that from you.” Gemma leaned in. “I think I was just nervous to say something and jinx it. Then when I didn’t get the part, I was too embarrassed to tell you.”
“I can understand that, but you know you can tell me these things. I’ll always be here for you.”
Gemma smiled, knowing without a doubt that no words were ever more true.
“So, how’s the queen of New York real estate?” Gemma asked, ready to change the topic as they finished their morning coffee.
Hayley had joined her dad after college in their family business. He purchased and remodeled the buildings that she would then sell.
“I’m great! I just closed on an eleven-million-dollar brownstone on the Upper East Side, and soon I’ll be busy selling the luxury condos my dad is renovating in Brooklyn.”
“That’s amazing, Hay! I’m so proud of you.” Gemma beamed. “Your dad’s lucky to have such an incredible saleswoman for a daughter. You two are the best duo in the country.”
“Thanks.” Hayley was a confident woman, but when it came to receiving compliments, she always turned shy.
“We are a good team, and I’m so grateful I have him, but between his projects and my clients, I have been spending more and more time at the office.
I miss having a life, going out, and having fun.
” Hayley had a sudden flash of inspiration.
“Let’s do something tonight! We are long overdue for a night out. ”
“As much as I’m all in for that plan,” Gemma caught Hayley’s eye roll at the sarcasm dripping from her voice. “I can’t. We’re working overnight for the next episode. A murder in the park.”
“You say ‘murder’ so casually.” Hayley laughed. “Okay, well, drinks soon. I need to get laid, and I already know you haven’t been on a date since Rebecca, which was how long ago?”
“Seven months.” The number jumped out at Gemma because it had been right before the current season started filming. Her friend had set her up, and it hadn’t been the worst date she had ever been on, but Gemma decided to take a break from dating afterward.
“Exactly.”
“Okay, fine. It’s been a while, but I’ve been busy.
” In reality, Gemma had been actively avoiding her love life.
No matter how tired she was of waking up alone, adding “meet future wife” to her schedule had felt like another role that she didn’t have time to play.
The whole routine of meeting up with a stranger, making small talk, hoping for a spark, and ending up with either disappointment or a forgettable hookup…
well, it was soul-sucking. She had lost the taste for that lifestyle.
“Gem, you haven’t gotten serious with a woman since we were nineteen, and I get it. It ended horribly. But at some point, you have to give someone else a chance.”
“I just haven’t met the right woman yet.
” That might have been part of the truth, but the other half of it was that Gemma hadn’t gotten over how badly she had been hurt.
Anytime a woman got too close to her and showed signs of wanting to take things further than casual dating, she bailed.
Her best friend was right. It didn’t matter how beautiful or kind the woman was, she just couldn’t let them entirely in.
“We’ll keep working on that. For now, you have me, and I love the crap out of you.” Hayley quickly placed her cup in the kitchen sink and kissed Gemma on the cheek. “I have to run to my first appointment, but we’re going out soon, so be ready. Have a good night at work and catch all the bad guys!”
After Hayley had closed the front door behind her, Gemma curled up on her worn beige couch.
Pulling her knees into her chest under the soft terracotta blanket, her thoughts began to run in circles.
Emergency sirens in the distance provided a soundtrack to match her chaotic mind.
The truth was, she longed for that missing piece in her life—a woman she could fall deeply, wildly in love with.
Someone to steal away on impromptu summer weekends by the beach, to hibernate with in a mountain cabin when the snow falls, and to spend quiet Sunday mornings beside reading pages that have nothing to do with work.
Someone who could not only tolerate her long days away, but who would celebrate her career.
Someone she would get down on one knee for.
Raise at least two children with. If her wife wanted more, she’d be open to driving a minivan full of kids to soccer practice one day.
As an only child, Gemma had always yearned for a built-in best friend. She would give that to her kids.
At twenty-eight years old, Gemma’s life had become stagnant. Had she allowed her career to replace love? Could she be content with NYPD Intelligence and Derek, continuing to live every day the same as the last?
With a shock, Gemma realized that her lust for life had slipped away in the past few years without her notice.
She used to wake up feeling limitless, intent on experiencing every thrill that life had to offer.
She wanted that spark back. She wanted to live.
She wasn’t sure what exactly that would look like yet, but she was determined to find out.
After a long nap, of course. She had a murder to solve tonight.