Chapter 4 #2
“You did. That hasn’t changed. But unfortunately, there was a, um, problem with your co-star.
She will no longer be doing the film. The producers have already found someone else, but they need you to go in and read with her replacement.
It’s just to make sure the chemistry works, you know how it is.
Hopefully, once that’s settled, shooting will finally get started.
I’ll send the flight info to you and Lara as soon as I have it. ”
Flying across the country again for this movie was not something that Caitlin particularly wanted to do, but unfortunately, it was part of the job.
The production team was in New York, so she had to suck it up and go whenever they needed her.
This role could change the course of her career, so she’d do anything that they asked of her.
“Thanks, Sandy.”
When Caitlin got the offer a few months ago, she had been thrilled. But nerves soon began to lace her excitement as she realized the impact this film could have on her career. This wasn’t just another job. It was a chance to break free from the box that the industry had kept her in for years.
The Ticket to Rio producers had promised to be different, but in the end, the only difference between this movie and every other had been an increase in jungle scenes and a decrease in clothing.
Forbidden Love, though, could be career-defining.
No special effects, no stunt doubles, no jokes made at her character’s expense.
This was a script with moral complexity and emotional depth.
It was the kind of role that could shift how Hollywood saw her, not just as a pretty face, but as a serious performer capable of nuance and vulnerability. It could change everything.
CAITLIN LANDED IN NEW YORK that Saturday evening with a stomach tangled in a ball of nerves.
She always felt unsettled here, in the city that had become home to her ex-girlfriend.
While NYC was undoubtedly big enough for them both, there was always a slim chance of an encounter that Caitlin wasn’t ready for.
If she were being honest with herself, there had been times when she wished the universe would make the two of them cross paths again.
Not because she felt ready. She knew she wasn’t.
She had no idea what she’d even say to Gemma if fate made them bump into each other on a New York City sidewalk.
Assuming that Gemma would even stop to talk to her.
The thought made her queasy with guilt. Knowing that she would only be in town for a night, she reassured herself that the odds of confronting her past during this particular trip were unlikely.
She would allow herself to worry the next time she returned to Manhattan for the scheduled three months of filming.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, CAITLIN ARRIVED for the chemistry read fifteen minutes early. She wanted to make this as quick as possible so that she could get back to LA and use the rest of her weekend off, lounging on her sofa.
As they waited for the replacement actress, she looked over the scene they would be reading. She recognized it as the two women’s breakup scene. Interesting choice.
Caitlin must have been locked into the script because she hadn’t even realized that her new co-star had entered the room until she heard the assistant introduce the two of them.
The words paralyzed Caitlin as the producer announced the name of the other actress.
All the blood rushed to her brain. The past began to flood her mind—Gemma smiling and laughing, the two of them in high school and college, every memory popping up like her old MacBook screensaver, formulating each image and shooting them sporadically in front of her eyes.
Then, Caitlin slowly turned. And there she was. The warm golden-brown eyes that had lived only in her dreams for nearly a decade locked onto hers. For a heartbeat, time stopped.
Caitlin’s breath caught in her throat as they tore their eyes apart and scanned each other, rediscovering the contours of the woman in front of them.
Gemma was older now, but achingly familiar.
Gemma. Her dark, straight slick-back, which once never had a hair out of place, was now in unruly waves that flowed naturally around her face.
Those soft, pillowed lips that Caitlin had once traced with reverence now gleamed with a clear gloss, catching the light like a memory.
Caitlin’s eyes drifted to the toned arms that she used to caress, remembering the smoothness of Gemma’s skin.
Her stomach fluttered, the way it always had whenever Gemma walked into a room.
Nine years had passed, but somehow, impossibly, she looked even more beautiful, and Caitlin had still been intensely drawn to her.
It had to be a dream. Caitlin blinked once, then twice, trying to dispel the apparent hallucination. But Gemma remained, solid and real, standing in front of her.
Then she noticed it—the color draining from Gemma’s olive skin, her expression frozen in horror, as if she was looking at a ghost. And just like that, Caitlin deflated, feeling the surge of warmth in her chest turn to ice.
She saw the old wound flash across Gemma’s eyes before they steeled into an expressionless mask.
A storm of emotion swept through her, mixing heartache with remorse and confusion. Caitlin didn’t know whether to run to Gemma and wrap her in the embrace that she had imagined a thousand times or turn around and disappear before the dream shattered.
After an awkwardly long silence, Gemma reached out to shake her hand. Caitlin was taken off guard by the move until she remembered the panel of producers behind her, watching their interaction. Unsure what else to do, she played along.
Forcing her feet to do their job and carry her toward Gemma, Caitlin was on edge as she got closer. She was only heartbeats away from feeling the comfort and connection of Gemma’s hand again. Willing herself to get through this scene, she reached out for Gemma.
The handshake marked a charged reintroduction—one that no one else even realized was happening—causing Caitlin to straighten, ignore the lingering tingle in her palm, and smile. She was as ready as she’d ever be to share the stage with her ex-girlfriend.
Gemma’s final line had hit her like a punch to the gut. Her feelings from her own past seeped into the scene, engulfing Caitlin in emotional grief and crippling sensations that had flowed through her.
When the chemistry read was over, Caitlin watched as Gemma practically sprinted out of the room. She quickly thanked the team and gathered her things before she chased after her.
“Squish,” Caitlin said as she tried to catch up. The cramped hallways of the office building prevented her from breaking into a run, but she was moving as fast as she could go.
“Don’t call me that.” Gemma threw the angry words over her shoulder as she continued her power walk toward the exit.
Squish was a nickname that Caitlin had given Gemma back in high school when they began dating.
After Gemma squeezed into the crook of Caitlin’s neck their first night together, the term just came out, and Caitlin hadn’t stopped calling Gemma that ever since.
Clearly, old habits were hard to break, though.
“Gemma, please. Can we talk for a second?” Caitlin begged as she followed Gemma into the elevator. She had never been so grateful for the confined stainless-steel, forcing the two of them together.
Gemma stood in the corner, as far away from Caitlin as she could humanly manage within the space.
“What do you want?” Gemma crossed her arms as she glared forward, trying to avoid Caitlin’s eyes in the reflection of shiny silver metal.
Caitlin didn’t know where to start. She honestly never thought she would see Gemma again, let alone have the chance to speak with her. Her nose filled with Gemma’s familiar woody amber scent, stopping her brain from forming words.
Finally, she choked out, “How are you?”
Gemma scoffed. “Nine years and that’s the best you could come up with?”
Caitlin watched as the number above the doors counted down. “I didn’t expect to see you today. Here.”
“That makes two of us.” Gemma still hadn’t turned to acknowledge her since they had ended the scene.
The elevator doors slid open, and Gemma stepped out first. Caitlin didn’t let up and continued to stay on her heels as they reached the busy city sidewalk.
“Squish—sorry. Gemma.”
Gemma stopped short and finally looked at Caitlin, her eyes glassy. “That’s what you’re sorry for?”
“I didn’t know you were the new replacement, so it wasn’t exactly like I could have prepared a speech.”
“If you had known that I was the other actress, would you have come up with some big, grandiose apology?”
Caitlin had never felt so unprepared for anything in her life. “No, but Gemma, I’m really happy to see you. I was just shocked.”
Gemma’s hands were balled into fists at her side. “Shocked? What, you don’t think that I’m good enough for a movie? Across from the all-mighty Caitlin Stone.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Well, I’m not thrilled to see you, so if that’s all, I’d like to leave now. Please don’t follow me.”
Caitlin had dreamt endlessly about what it would be like if she ever ran into Gemma, but she had never accounted for this outcome. Maybe Caitlin had been na?ve to think that seeing Gemma would be peaceful after all these years.
“Can we please just go somewhere and talk?”
Gemma snorted. “You’ve been silent since our sophomore year of college, and now you want to talk? Why, just because this twisted karmic universe threw us together again? No thanks.”
“I’m sorry.” Caitlin meant it, with every ounce of her being, but the words fell flat. Her heart sank, realizing that the damage she had done years ago may now be irreparable.
“A little late for that, isn’t it?”
“You’re right. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. But I’m here now, and I’m trying.”
“It’s not all about you. You can’t always get what you want. I know you’re probably not used to that these days. Goodbye, Caitlin.”
Dread clawed its way through Caitlin’s chest as she watched Gemma walk away. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, only minutes after she had gotten her back. Caitlin stared after Gemma until she lost her in the crowd, disappearing into the anonymity of NYC.
The city pressed in around her, concrete buildings looming like silent witnesses to everything she hadn’t said. Her breath hitched. The air felt thinner. Anxiety curled tight in her ribs, making it hard to tell whether it was the skyline collapsing or just her world sinking in.