Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Spring Semester, Sophomore Year of High School
WEEKS PASSED, AND WARMER WEATHER rolled in, marking the beginning of the friends’ ice cream adventures.
Gemma always went for chocolate chip cookie dough, and Caitlin defaulted to caramel swirl.
They vowed that by summer’s end, they would taste every flavor that the local creamery had to offer.
For Gemma, each moment with Caitlin was a treat, sweet and innocent.
She cherished every second, not knowing how their story would end and doing her best not to worry about it.
The second semester of Gemma’s sophomore year passed in a haze. May was nearing its end, and Gemma couldn’t wait for summer break. She just had to get through finals first.
On the Sunday night before their first exam, Gemma headed to Caitlin’s house so that they could study together. Gemma never knew what—or who—to expect during these study sessions, and the uncertainty had her on edge while she waited to find out upon arrival.
Stepping through Caitlin’s front door that evening, Gemma walked into the living room and scanned for signs of life.
“No Troy tonight?”
In Spanish class on Friday, she had overheard Troy ask Caitlin if they could study together over the weekend, so Gemma had assumed he would be there.
“He was busy.”
Strange. Maybe Gemma had misheard.
Caitlin didn’t elaborate, but Gemma grabbed her backpack off the floor and followed Caitlin further into the house without another thought.
When Caitlin led her upstairs instead of toward the basement like usual, Gemma felt her nerve endings ignite one by one.
The change felt charged, deliberate, and her pulse thundered in her ears.
Crossing the threshold into Caitlin’s private sanctuary felt like stepping onto the field for the championship game of the World Cup. Or at least, that was how she imagined it—adrenaline roaring through her veins, every sense sharpened, and a calm stillness overtaking her.
“These are cool.” Gemma pointed to Caitlin’s display of cheerleading ribbons and trophies, trying to absorb every detail of the bedroom.
“Thanks,” Caitlin said shyly. “I did a lot of competitions growing up.”
“Mm-hmm.” Gemma carefully looked at each photo stuck around the border of Caitlin’s mirror, buying some time to compose herself.
“What was that for?” Caitlin almost sounded annoyed.
Gemma hadn’t meant for the sound to slip out. Her mind was whirling, and being in Caitlin’s room was only making it worse. She was acutely aware of the fact that Caitlin had closed the door behind them. Did she close the door when Troy came over?
Stop it, Gemma.
She kept her eyes fixed on the photographs, most of them featuring Caitlin throughout the years, and tried to steady herself.
Little Caitlin, in her tiny cheerleading uniform, was inexplicably adorable.
She focused on that child, doing her best to ignore the feelings rising inside of her for the young woman standing nearby, watching Gemma closely.
“No, no, I just mean… it just explains why you’re so good at cheerleading, that’s all.”
Caitlin’s mouth quirked, and Gemma realized that she had slipped up. “I am, am I? So does that mean you’ve been watching me at the games?”
Gemma couldn’t hide the violent blush that was suddenly scorching her cheeks.
“How the tables have turned,” Caitlin teased.
“I mean, maybe. Sometimes. You might have been in my line of sight once or twice while I was showing my school spirit for our football team.” There was no getting out of this one.
The grin on Caitlin’s face said that she knew Gemma was full of crap. Caitlin moved to sit against her headboard, legs crossed, spreading her textbook, notebook, and study guide out on the purple comforter.
“So, what finals do you have tomorrow?” Gemma asked, her mind going a million miles per hour as she debated where to sit. It looked like her only options were the floor or...
“You can…” Caitlin patted the spot next to her. “Spanish, of course, so let’s just start there together. Then I gotta study for history. Which other one do you have?”
Gemma hesitantly made her way toward the bed with her backpack, taking a seat so close to the edge that if she breathed the wrong way, she’d almost certainly fall off.
“Geometry.”
They stayed like that for hours, trading questions in the second language they had to master before tomorrow.
Once they were burnt out on Spanish, they moved on to prepare for their independent exams.
Gemma could hardly focus, rereading the same equation over and over without retaining any of the information. She chanced a peek next to her, finding that Caitlin didn’t seem to be having the same trouble concentrating as she was.
We’re just friends. We’re just friends.
“I didn’t invite him.” Caitlin’s voice interrupted Gemma’s thoughts.
“What?” She turned toward Caitlin, whose face was still hidden by the textbook in her hands.
“Troy,” Caitlin explained as if it were obvious. “I didn’t ask him to study with us tonight.”
“Oh. How come? You know I don’t mind when he’s here.” A weak lie. Gemma was trying to play it cool, but something about this confession was throwing her off balance.
Gemma didn’t exactly enjoy having to watch Troy hold Caitlin’s hand or lean in and press his lips to hers, but remaining friends with Caitlin meant that she had to tolerate the boyfriend.
Caitlin still hadn’t looked up, her eyes steadily fixed on the page, although Gemma was pretty sure she wasn’t actually reading.
Gemma reached out to steady Caitlin’s hand, which had begun bouncing her pen against the hard binding. Slowly, Caitlin’s eyes rose to meet Gemma’s and stayed there. Gemma swore she saw a glint flick through the clear blue as Caitlin’s eyes softened.
“I wanted it to just be the two of us,” Caitlin said so gently that Gemma almost didn’t hear the words.
The butterflies that Gemma had caged deep within her core burst free, fluttering out like tiny birds testing flight for the very first time.
“Wh—” Gemma swallowed her words as Caitlin’s soft lips connected with hers.
The taste of cherry lip balm lingered on Gemma’s mouth even after the brief kiss had ended. She opened her eyes slowly, fighting for breath. Her heart was racing, wild and unsteady, from finally sharing a kiss with the girl she’d been quietly falling for all year.
Gemma searched Caitlin’s face for any hint of regret, but all she found was Caitlin staring back at her with a look that joined the two of them as one. It was a look that caused an explosion big enough to upend Gemma’s life and steal a piece of her forever. Gemma would never forget that look.
Suddenly, Caitlin’s mouth was back on hers. Only this time, Gemma cupped Caitlin’s cheeks and used the tip of her tongue to trace a line along Caitlin’s lower lip, coaxing a shiver from Caitlin before their tongues intertwined.
Their lips moved together in a slow, gentle rhythm, and Gemma felt her pulse rushing in her ears.
The kiss was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
It was soft, electric, and impossibly real.
She didn’t have much to compare it to—her first kiss had happened during middle school at a sleepover upon a dare.
But this was different. This was her first real kiss. And it belonged to Cailtin.
A soft sigh escaped Caitlin’s lips as Gemma pulled away. Their eyes met in silent understanding, each searching the other’s face for any sign of remorse. Gemma saw the ache of her own desperation mirrored in Caitlin’s expression.
Caitlin crawled into Gemma’s lap, wrapping her arms around Gemma’s neck and tangling her fingers in Gemma’s long locks.
“I like it when you leave your hair in its natural waves. It’s beautiful.”
Gemma smiled, sliding her hands around Caitlin’s waist, pulling her in even closer. Their lips connected again, but this time, it felt feverish.
Before Gemma could fully register what was happening, Caitlin’s lips brushed the curve of her neck. Goosebumps broke out across Gemma’s skin as their mouths met again. Tender and searching, Gemma’s hands slipped under the hem of Caitlin’s T-shirt, drawn to the warmth of her bare skin.
Caitlin let out a quiet sound that Gemma felt echo between them. The world could’ve been ending, and they never would have noticed. In that moment, only the two of them existed, entangled in something vast and wordless.
Abruptly, Caitlin pulled back, out of breath, and looked down into Gemma’s eyes. With her hands still wrapped in Gemma’s hair, Caitlin’s expression shifted.
Ice rushed through Gemma’s veins as an unexpected panic flooded Caitlin’s face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Gemma asked, afraid to hear Caitlin’s answer.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Caitlin said, jumping out of Gemma’s lap. “You should probably go.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Gemma shifted down the bed, closer to where Caitlin was leaning back against her desk along the window.
“I’m sorry.”
Gemma felt like she had been gutted. Just moments ago, they’d been entwined and sharing something groundbreaking. Now, Caitlin was asking her to leave?
The shift felt so sudden that Gemma was left reeling. But she wouldn’t beg to stay where she clearly wasn’t wanted.
With trembling hands, she gathered her schoolwork and hurried down the stairs toward the front door, the silence behind her louder than any goodbye.
FINALS WEEK PASSED IN A flash, and Gemma yearned for summer break now more than ever.
Caitlin hadn’t so much as looked at Gemma since the night they had kissed.
Gemma had tried texting her to check in and ask if they could talk about what happened, but every message went unanswered.
Caitlin was avoiding her. Worse yet, every time that Gemma spotted Caitlin from across the quad, the cheerleader was attached to Troy like a koala bear.
This kind of heartbreak was new to Gemma.
There was no doubt in her mind that there had been a spark between the two of them.
No, it had been more than a spark. It had been a fireworks show.
Either way, Caitlin had made her decision.
She had chosen Troy, and Gemma realized right then and there that this friendship had officially ended.