Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28
I lower the volume of my headphones, frowning as Taylor’s voice rips into the kitchen.
“ Two more days? Two? You cannot be fucking serious.”
I lean forward, trying to make out the muffled reply. Whatever it is has Taylor letting out a dramatic sigh.
“You have two days. All right? If this shit isn’t fixed by the time the Havens get home, you better lawyer up. They have sued at least two of their previous contractors for less.”
By the time Taylor comes stomping into the room, I have brewed him a cup of tea. I pass him the mug wordlessly, fingers brushing his.
“What’s this for?” he asks in a softer voice.
“You like your chamomille with honey, right?” I ask rather than attempt to explain why his feelings matter to me. I’m still getting used to the idea that they do. But they do .
It matters that I’ve watched him deflate as the day has gone on. That the purpling under his eyes deepens every time he heads back outside. I’ve offered to speak to the plumbers myself, but Taylor has stopped me every time.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it covered. I know how you feel about raising your voice.”
His observation rendered me speechless. I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how little I like dealing with the various people who piss the Havens off—at least, I haven’t said the words out loud. But, somehow, Taylor noticed. I appreciate him sparing me from the conflict more than he knows.
He takes a sip of the tea, some of the tension leaving his face as he swallows. His eyes flicker to the kettle on the stove and the jar of honey. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble just for me.”
I try to downplay it with a shrug. “I made a cup for myself, too.”
He smiles at me and I return it—something I’ve noticed we’ve been doing a lot lately. Getting along. The concept is so foreign I’m almost scared to label it. I keep expecting Taylor’s expression to sour, for him to look at me with the resentment he wore before. Only, I’m not sure I’d be able to brush it off the way I used to. Something about us has changed. Permanently, I dare to hope.
“Should we talk about it?” Taylor leans back against the kitchen sink, waiting for my answer.
He means the mall. I stifle a wince, thinking back to throwing my arm around his waist, how we exchanged cheesy pet names.
“I hope I didn’t misread the situation…” I begin.
But Taylor shakes his head. “No! No, I wanted to thank you. For jumping in like you did.”
I nod, more than a little relieved. I practically threw myself into his arms this morning. I’m not sure I’d be able to survive the embarrassment if I had overreacted.
“That was…” Taylor shakes his head, seeming at a loss for words. “I’m sure you’ve already put it together, but Rachel is my ex. I haven’t actually seen her since the breakup.”
“I figured,” I say softly. “I am sorry for interrupting, though.”
His eyes go wide. “It wasn’t a happy reunion. Trust me. You kind of saved me…again.”
“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I ran into my ex right before you did.” Taylor’s brows shoot up and I laugh. “It might’ve been the five worst minutes of my year. Which is saying something, considering I spend most days with the Havens.”
Taylor lets out a surprised snort, which only makes me laugh harder. When the chuckles subside, he chews on his lip. After a moment, he blurts out, “So, why did you break up?”
I scratch my neck, trying to figure out how to sum it up.
“You don’t have to answer, obviously,” Taylor says quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s totally fine.” And when I look up at him, it is. A month ago, I wouldn’t have dreamt of sharing the most humiliating details of my life with my sworn enemy. But Taylor doesn’t feel like my rival right now. If I squint, he almost looks like a friend. “There was cheating involved. On his side. Like, a lot of cheating.”
Taylor’s expression grows grim but I wave him off.
“I’m past it. Did a lot of soul searching, and then a lot of therapy.” I let out a little giggle. “I was already sure that breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me, but seeing him today sure proved it. All my friends say I have a terrible picker.”
But Taylor still looks angry. Or, maybe anger isn’t the right word. He’s gazing at me like he knows exactly what it feels like to be betrayed. How the sting can linger long after any feelings fade.
“Did Rachel…” I let my voice trail off, my implication clear.
“Cheat on me? Honestly, I still don’t know…I don’t think I was brave enough to ask. She just wasn’t the person I thought she was. I guess I have a bad picker, too.”
I lean in. “Well, now I’m intrigued. Tell me more?”
Taylor lets out a laugh, and I wonder if it’s nerves that have him shrinking half a step back. “It’s not that exciting. We were together so long, I guess I just assumed she really cared about me. But she broke things off the second I stopped playing basketball. Started dating another athlete she worked with later that month. I’m not so sure she ever liked me in the first place…or if it was just the idea of me that had her sticking around.”
I feel the smile dying on my lips the longer he speaks.
“I think I loved her more than she ever loved me,” Taylor muses, more to himself than me. “I actually begged her not to leave me, if you can believe that. I would’ve done anything to keep her. Turns out she did me a favor by walking away.”
I startle myself by letting out a dry laugh. “I know what you mean,” I murmur. “Convincing yourself you love someone you barely know. Doing whatever it takes to keep their attention, even when you know deep down it isn’t right.” I shake my head, stepping out of the time machine I keep wandering into. A decade ago, I made one dumb decision after another, all for a boy who forgot I ever existed.
Taylor is gazing at me, a strange expression on his face. “I really am sorry,” I murmur, glad he can’t read my mind. And maybe it’s the rare, vulnerable look on his face, but I open my mouth once more. “I don’t know Rachel, but I do know you. And I can say pretty definitively you have a lot to offer. I’m sure your other girlfriends would agree with me.”
It isn’t until the words leave my mouth that I realize I said them with not-so-noble intentions. There’s still a part of me that wants to dig, to know everything I can about Taylor. It’s a part of me I need to shove deep, deep down.
Taylor arches a brow but doesn’t call me out. “I haven’t had any other girlfriends. Rachel was the first and the last. I haven’t really been able to seriously date since.”
Another thing we have in common. This job doesn’t exactly leave us with ample free time.
Still…”That’s shocking,” I say, stating the obvious.
“Shocking?” He looks more confused than he should. “Why?”
“C’mon, look at you.” I wave a hand at him. “You aren’t exactly repugnant, Hedlund.”
Taylor blinks, his small smile disappearing from his face. I realize what I’ve said when my stomach starts to ache. He just confided in me, revealed his fear that his girlfriend never wanted him for him. And what do I do? Immediately relate his worth to his physical appearance.
“I didn’t mean that,” I say with a sigh. “I mean, I did. We both know you’re hot. But you’re more than that. And you should believe me, ‘cause it probably would’ve actually killed me to say this a month ago…but you’re cool, Taylor. You’re smart and ambitious. You can read a room, and you’re weirdly good at small talk. I have never met anyone so charming and intelligent and…whatever. You have lots of positive attributes, all right?”
I look up, cheeks flaming as I meet Taylor’s eyes. I wait for him to say something that will inevitably piss me off.
“You called me Taylor.”
I narrow my eyes. “Yes, well, that is your name.”
His lips quirk up, and I find I’m stupidly relieved to see him smiling again. “Yeah, but I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve used it.”
“What can I say? Hedlund has such a nice ring to it.”
Taylor chuckles. But his eyes are warm when they fall back on me. “Was saying something nice about me so hard?”
I tap my chin, pretending to contemplate. But it’s the truth I end up admitting. “You aren’t as bad as I thought you were.”
“Is that so?”
His voice is low, a little rough. My throat is dry when I shrug.
“I didn’t have a problem with you until you had one with me, remember?” I ask, a little breathlessly. “You’ve never told me why that was.”
I can see his throat work as he swallows. “You aren’t so bad yourself, Montes. But I’m sure you’ve heard enough about that from your boyfriend.”
It’s a blatant change of subject. But I let it slide…because now Taylor is the one digging.
“Rob was my first boyfriend…and my last,” I murmur.
Awareness sweeps across Taylor’s face. His eyes flicker to my lips as he licks his own. “So you’re—”
Whatever he’s about to say is interrupted by a crash.
Followed by someone’s terrified “Oh, fuck!”