20. Nikolai
20
NIKOLAI
I t was a dirty move agreeing to the PR relationship with Kerra. Sure, there was the logical, business aspect of the decision. But more than anything, Jane is stubborn. And she wasn’t going to give in without a little push.
And I like seeing her jealous.
Yeah, I’m an asshole for it, but clearly it worked as she grabs my head and finally, fucking finally , kisses me.
No, kissing is too tame of a word for what’s happening.
She’s devouring me. Like she’s worried at any moment she’ll wake up and realize this isn’t truly happening and she needs to take advantage of it while she can.
I smile against her lips because this is very much real, and this is not going to be the last time this happens. She’s putting up a good fight, but I’m also good at going after what I want and achieving my goal.
And she’s my end goal.
She always has been, even when I was too stupid to realize it.
I tangle my fingers in her hair, angling her head to deepen the kiss. The desire coursing through me is second to the relief I feel as I finally taste her again, have her in my arms, feel her body against mine.
Her nails dig into my chest desperately.
My cock aches against my zipper, and as much as I hate to do it, I break our kiss.
Jane looks stunned, but I don’t give her time to ask questions as I take her hand and lead her across the dance floor until we reach the exit to the upper section. A bouncer stands in front of the door and we retrieve our phones before he lets us through. I pull her quickly down the stairs, cautious of her heels but also knowing Jane could run a marathon in them. When we reach the back exit door, I push open with desperate force and look both ways down the alley. The night air is warm and sticky, not much different from the club. It’s gloriously empty with only faint sounds of passing traffic as I shut the door behind us and push Jane’s back against the brick wall.
“What are you doing?” Her green eyes shine in the moonlight and her dark hair looks almost blue.
“Taking what’s mine,” I say and dive in to kiss her neck.
Her hands grip my shirt, and she simultaneously pushes me away and pulls me closer. I smile against her neck.
“I’m not yours,” she grits out, stubbornness fighting its way through the desire in her tone.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
I cup her jaw, staring into her eyes. “You are. You have always been mine.”
She bites her lip, the lipstick long since worn off but it’s stained a soft rosy shade.
“If I’m yours, then you’re mine,” she says.
Does she not already know I am?
Keeping my grip on her face, I crush my body against hers and kiss her again. Her tongue tangles with mine and each stroke stokes the fire in my gut higher and higher. I want her so badly it hurts, but I won’t fuck her in an alley.
Or after a night of drinking. The first time we’re one again, it’s going to be when we’re both sober and in my bed where I can lay her out and kiss every inch of her beautiful body that I’ve missed.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t have other plans for right now.
Reaching beneath the hem of her dress, I groan when I find her panties are soaked.
“Fuck, LJ.”
She tilts her hips closer to my hand. Even if her head tries to deny it, her body wants me. I tease a slow finger around the lace before slipping it past the fabric.
“Oh,” she whimpers as I swipe my finger through her center before pushing it inside.
The brick scraps my other hand as I use it to hold myself up and keep Jane pinned at the same time. This is stupid. We’re exposed out here with nothing but a few dumpsters and some broken pieces of furniture to partially shield us from anyone that might pass by.
But I don’t care. Not when I have Jane moaning sweetly in my ear as I flick her clit with my thumb while still pumping into her with my middle finger.
Her chest heaves against the material of her dress, and I want to rip it apart with my teeth to allow them to spring free.
She reaches for my belt, and I bat her hand away.
“This is all you,” I say.
Her brow furrows. “I thought…”
“I’m not fucking you here. I’m saving that for when I can take my time with you.”
She drops her hands from my shirt.
I grab her wrists in one of my hands and pin them above her head while maintaining my rhythm between her legs with the other. Her face sparks at the move, and I capture her mouth again.
But the exchange seems to have put some mental block in that beautiful, annoying mind of hers. She’s stiff, and when I pull back, I can see the internal war she’s fighting behind her carefully constructed mask.
I sink two fingers into her and curl them. Her head falls back against the brick as she gasps.
“Stop overthinking,” I say through clenched teeth. “Stop thinking about what you should and shouldn’t do and just feel. Take what you want. Use me. Please .”
My words unlock something in her as her entire body melts into the wall and her hips buck freely against my hand, chasing her desire.
“That’s it,” I coo as her face contorts with pleasure. Her brow pinches and her mouth parts. “Keep going. It’s yours.”
Her hands clench into fists, but I don’t drop them. If she needs to feel that edge of helplessness to keep her thoughts at bay, I’ll give it to her.
I thumb tight circles around her clit, which causes a loud moan to slip between her lips that I lean forward and capture.
She’s getting close. I can feel it. “I’ve heard thousands of people screaming my name for the last ten years,” I whisper over her flushed neck, “and I’d trade them all just to hear you calling out for me while I make you come one more time.”
She shutters and her eyes fly open. “Nikolai,” she gasps.
“Louder.” I pump into her harder, and she whimpers when my thumb applies more pressure to her clit.
I drop her arms to give myself better leverage as I brace against the wall. Her nails dig into my shoulders, and I hope she draws blood. I want her to mark me the way she has my heart.
“Nikolai!” she cries out as she comes and a surge of satisfaction rolls through me at the sound of my name mixed with the haze of her pleasure.
“That’s it,” I say, stroking her through her orgasm until she collapses between me and the bricks. Her legs give out and I’m the only thing holding her up.
She must be able to feel the hard outline of my cock pushing against the front of my pants because she chuckles softly and says, “I could’ve done something about that, you know.”
I kiss her forehead and stroke her hair back. “Next time.”
It’s as if my words sucked out all the air in the alley. She stiffens and pulls back, even though she really doesn’t have anywhere to go. She runs her hands over her dress and reality washes back over her face. She darts her eyes to our surroundings as her hands drop to her sides.
The change is so swift, so sudden, it sets me on guard.
“What just happened?” I ask, stepping back as I feel her walls climbing up between us.
She shakes her head and averts her gaze. “Nothing.”
Anxiety fills my lungs, the familiar feeling of her slipping through my fingers making my heart race. “Jane…”
“We should get out of here,” she cuts me off, clearing her throat. “Don’t know who might walk by.”
She tries to slip past me, but I block her way. “If I crossed some line, I’m sorry. I thought…”
She refuses to meet my eyes. “We both got carried away.” She flips her hair over her shoulder and sidesteps me. “Let’s just call it a night, okay?”
On surprisingly steady feet for what we just did, Jane strolls down the alley and out onto the sidewalk. I follow her and text Hendrik to meet us out front. Luckily, it’s late and the streets are fairly empty and everyone who is still out is too drunk or too tired to take notice of me.
I protectively tuck her into my side while we wait, and she allows it, but we don’t speak.
I know she needs time to process things and if I push her to talk to me right now, it’s not going to end well. I’ll give her the space she needs. It’s the hardest fucking pill to swallow, but for her, I’ll choke it down.
Hendrik pulls up, and I open the door, holding her hand as I help her in before I take my own seat next to her. The car ride is quiet, and I hate it. I’ve never been good with silence. Something always needs to fill the void, create some noise.
But for Jane’s sake, I push through it and breathe a sigh of relief when we pull into my driveway. The car is barely stopped before Jane pops open her door and jumps out. She waves at Hendrik and enters the house without waiting for me.
Hendrik turns in the driver’s seat to look at me. He raises a bushy eyebrow. What did you do?
“Not tonight,” I sigh. I undo my seatbelt, get out, and go inside. The house is dark and quiet. I expected to see Jane in the kitchen getting some water or a late-night snack, but she’s nowhere to be seen.
I head upstairs and hesitate before I turn to head to my bedroom. Glancing down the hallway, my stomach dips when I see the door to Jane’s bedroom is already closed. A faint light glows at the bottom, but I don’t bother her.
Space.
Give her a little space.
Because while I know this was inevitable between us, she’s been fighting against it. And tonight just blew that fight to pieces.
But I saw it tonight. The way she looked at me like she did when we were teenagers. The thought quells the anxiety a bit as I turn down the hallway and go to my bedroom.
Tonight may not have ended the way I hoped with her wrapped in my arms as we slept, but it was still progress. She’s not completely shut off to me, even if she’s trying to be.
If I learned anything when I saw my life flash before my eyes way before I ever thought it would, it’s to take what I want when I want it because there might not be a tomorrow.