Epilogue
EPILOGUE
NIKOLAI
S ix Months Later
“You look sexy tonight,” Jane says, running his hands down my chest and smoothing my shirt along the way.
“Just tonight?” I tease.
She pats me playfully. “Always seeking validation, pretty boy.” She presses a kiss to my lips, then wipes away the bit of lipstick she transfers.
“You look breathtaking as always.” I wind my hands around her lower back and tickle the exposed skin there. Her black, sparkly dress is backless with a high neckline in the front. She paired it with red heels that match the color of my shirt tonight. When I asked if she did that on purpose as we were getting dressed, she gave me a coy smile and sank to her knees, getting me off before I threw her on the bed and made us late for my album release party.
“I can’t believe it’s finally here,” I say wistfully as I look around at all the people gathered to celebrate tonight. An excited energy charges the room as people mingle and drink ahead of my private performance of a few select singles tonight.
“It’s your moment,” she says, looking up at me with so much admiration. “Soak it in.”
I am. Every single second of it. There was a brief, terrifying time when I thought I wouldn’t make it here. That maybe my reputation wouldn’t be able to survive the scandal or that I couldn’t do this without Walker, Hayden, and Reid.
But Arun was right. People love the fact that I’m with Walker’s sister more than they remember the short-term relationship I had with Kerra. It’s a blip in my timeline at this point and for the most part, it seems like everyone has moved on.
As far as my bandmates go, I still miss making music with them. I poured my everything into this solo album and I’m so incredibly proud of it, but as I’m gearing up to tour it across the country in the upcoming months, I wish nothing more than they could be with me.
Jane senses the melancholy shift my mind has taken. “They’re all still here to support you tonight, even if you’re doing this on your own.”
“I know.” I glance over her shoulder and spot Hayden and Carter gathered around one of the bar tops, eating the appetizers being passed around and chatting away with my brother. Reid’s off to the side, talking with Arun, but I saw him greet them all when he arrived.
Baby steps.
“It’s just hard to picture creating two more whole albums by myself.” My contract is for three and although I’m already eager to start writing the next, I still miss the days where it was the four of us creating them.
Jane brushes a lock of hair back from my forehead. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“The lawyer is telling me I don’t have to abide by a contract?” I poke her side, and she giggles.
“No, I’m saying that your girlfriend was smart enough to have some foresight to create a little bit of… wiggle room in that contract.”
My lips part in surprise, before curling into a grin. “You smart, clever woman.” I kiss her and she tangles her fingers in my shirt.
She won’t be my girlfriend for much longer. I have plans to make this woman my fiancée very, very soon.
“You two want to get a room, or are you trying to bait Walker into punching you again?” Reid drawls as he strides up to us. We break apart and Jane rolls her eyes at him.
“I’m not usually an instigator of violence. I leave that to you,” she snarks.
Reid raises his glass in cheers .
“No one’s punching anyone,” I say. It took almost a month until Walker wanted to sit down with me and Jane to talk. By that point, most of his anger had washed instead and all that was left was hurt that we had lied to him.
Things aren’t back to where they were, but he’s come around on the idea of us together and doesn’t cringe every time we touch each other in his presence anymore. Plus, he’s got his own shit with Scar so he hasn’t had the energy to hold onto the grudge.
“I’m going to go chat with them for a bit,” Jane says, looking past Reid’s shoulder toward Hayden, Carter, and Milo. With a chaste kiss, Jane is off and I watch her retreating back the entire way. That dress clings to ass in a way that has my palm twitching.
“Glad he could make it out here,” Reid says in reference to Milo. “How long is he visiting for?”
“I don’t know,” I groan. I love my brother, but he’s already been living in our house for two weeks and doesn’t show signs of wanting to leave. “His vacation is turning into a temporary residence.”
“He needs a kick in the ass.”
“Always one for a delicate approach.”
Reid shrugs. But as much as he’s putting a bit of a damper on my spontaneous sex life with Jane around our house, I’m happy to have him here. Neither of my parents came out for tonight. I haven’t spoken with either of them in the last few months, and honestly, I don’t see that changing.
These people here, my friends, are my family.
“Kerra landed a job as a judge on one of those singing competitions,” Reid muses.
I shake my head. She wanted to boost her image with me and when it didn’t work, she went for being the sad, sympathetic victim who got cheated on by her playboy boyfriend. Some people bought into it, others told her she should’ve seen it coming.
“It’s irrelevant to me,” I say. “She seemed to be more into celebrity status than music itself, so good for her.” I never talked to her after the photos were leaked. She tried calling me the week following everything, but I ignored it and then blocked her. There’s nothing to say. I’ll never forgive her for what she did to Jane.
Reid looks at his phone, annoyed. “That little fucking brat,” he grits. I crane my neck to try to see what he’s looking at but he locks his phone before I get a chance.
“Who is that?” I ask
“It’s nothing.”
“Dude…”
He sucks on his teeth before spitting out, “Do you remember Aspen?”
My eyes widen in shock. “Your foster sister?”
Reid nods curtly. “Guess who’s all grown up and living out here now,” he mumbles sarcastically and stalks off, his attention turned back into his phone.
I sidle up between Jane and Milo. She places a comforting hand on my back and whispers in my ear, “What was that about?”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and watch Reid type away furiously on his phone. “I’m not sure.” As far as I know, Reid hasn’t had any contact with anyone from his foster family since we moved out to LA ten years ago. Aspen must be what…twenty now?
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
“Are we talking wedding details?” I ask Hayden and Carter, whose ring sparkles beneath the warm glow of the string lights.
She smiles as she looks at Hayden. “We have some updates for everyone, but this is your night.”
I wave them off. “C’mon, it’s what everyone actually wants to talk about. I have ideas for the bachelor party.” I smirk at Hayden.
“Dear lord,” Jane mutters under her breath.
“Can I come?” Milo pipes in.
Hayden ruffles his hair like he’s a little kid and Milo scowls at him. The girls start talking about their own bachelorette party plans and I feel Reid hovering in my periphery. I make space between myself and Milo.
I beckon him over silently and he shakes his head.
C’mon , I implore with my eyes.
He flexes his jaw, debating. Stubborn asshole. But finally, he tucks his hands into his pockets and makes his way over. The group's chatter dies down as he approaches and Reid’s blue eyes hold a hint of apprehension.
Surprisingly, Hayden is the first one to speak. “We were, uh, just talking about the wedding.”
“Congratulations,” Reid says. “I’m happy for you guys.”
Carter flashes him a tentative smile. “Thank you.”
There was a time when it would be the four of us discussing the bachelor party. Where Reid would’ve been involved in the proposal like the rest of us were. As I think about my own eventual engagement and wedding, I don’t want it to be like this. I want us together.
And as the group picks up their conversations again and Reid doesn’t walk away but instead tries to appear involved, I feel optimistic about the fact that it won’t always be like this.
I just wish Walker was here tonight to celebrate. I understand why he couldn’t make it, but his absence is like a nagging void at the back of my mind. Same with Scar.
Arun comes to get me after a little while to get ready for my performance. It’s short, only a few of the singles, but I still get that familiar buzz of anticipation that starts in my fingers and spreads throughout my body.
Jane gives me a quick kiss and everyone wishes me luck as I head toward the stage to get set up.
By the time the lights dim and everyone is gathered in front of the stage, I’ve reached that place of serenity in my mind I find before every performance.
Spotlights bathe me in their angelic glow as I stand in the place I was born to be. I look over the room filled with the most important people in the world to me. There was a time when I felt so utterly lost and alone, so confused and wondering what purpose I had anymore. What was even worth it.
It’s this. And it’s them.
Arun and his team, who have never stopped believing in me.
Hendrik and his family, who graciously share him with me.
Milo, my little brother and the only person from my family who I needed to be here to support me.
My bandmates minus one, who stand side by side for me, despite the differences and healing we still have to do.
And finally, my eyes find her.
Jane puts her hands to her chest, smiling the brightest smile as she watches me.
It’s her. It’s always been her.