Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Genevieve
Knock, knock.
The double taps had become a sound I had come to dread, but somehow accepted as a part of my everyday routine.
In spite of the mild irritation I felt, I made my way to the door knowing it would continue for hours if I didn’t interfere.
The delivery boy held out a fresh bouquet of roses, cream-colored this time, wrapped in the same brown paper as all the others. I took them without a word and stepped back to let the door close behind me.
I held the new bouquet, glancing around my apartment to figure out where I could fit the latest addition.
My apartment had stopped looking like mine weeks ago. Roses sat on every surface that could hold a vase—the kitchen counter, the windowsill, the little table by the door—some of them wilting now, petals curling brown at the edges.
After getting an immediate replacement every time I discarded some, I gave up on the option.
Anna had once made jokes about opening a flower store, and though it sounded a bit ridiculous in the beginning, I was seriously beginning to consider it at this point.
I set the new bouquet down next to the others and pulled the small card free from where it was tucked between the stems.
‘I’d like to see you. Whenever you’re ready. —Kazimir.’
I hissed, squeezing the card into a ball in my palms. Even when he was trying to be subtle, he somehow managed to sound bossy about it.
Whenever you’re ready. As if the little addition erased the fact that the first statement was basically about what he wanted.
I tossed it into the bin like I did the ones that came before.
His notes had undergone the classic progression of apologies, groveling, fake promises, and we were currently at the part that dealt with demands and negotiations. I couldn’t wait for the part where he gave up.
I sat down on the edge of the couch and pressed both hands over my face. A month. It had been a month since I was brought face to face with Svetlana’s wine glass swirling in front of me.
I wasn’t waking up smack-scared in the middle of the night anymore, but I was yet to leave my house. I’d missed my last antenatal visit because a black SUV pulled up to the curb shortly after I stepped out.
If Kazimir thought that was something a truckload of flowers and ill-written notes could fix, he was set for the biggest failure of his life.
“He really doesn’t quit, does he?” Anna came out of her room tying her hair up, glancing at the new bouquet and then at the growing forest around it.
“One would expect him to run off into the sunset with his lover, yet here he is,” I said, my voice flatter than I meant it to be. “Like I’d fall for the same trick twice.”
She sat down beside me and picked the crumpled note up off the floor, smoothing it out before I could stop her. She read it, then looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite place.
“Genevieve.”
“No.” I stood up. I knew what she was going to say before she said it. We’d been here before.
“I fell for him once already, Anna. I let myself believe a man like that could actually want me, and look what it got me. Kidnapped. Humiliated and pregnant.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “I was there when it all happened, remember?”
“Then you of all people should understand why I never want to see him again. I’m done, Ann, done. It’s been a whirlwind since he entered my life and I would very much love to finally breathe.”
My chest heaved while I tried to gather my emotions. I hated how conversations about him still affected me so heavily.
Anna gave me a moment of calm before speaking again. “I’m not asking you to pretend. To forgive him, or to fall into whatever he’s offering, or to trust one word out of his mouth. I would never ask you to do that.”
“Then what are you asking?”
She was quiet for a second, like she was choosing her words carefully.
“I’m asking you to think about that baby you’re carrying.
Because whatever Kazimir is or isn’t, whatever he did or didn’t do, he’s still that child’s father, and in a few months you’re going to need to know how this works between the two of you. Not for you. For the baby.”
I crossed my arms and turned toward the window, watching a woman walk her dog down the street below, wishing for one ordinary second that my life looked like that instead of this.
“I don’t want to need anything from him,” I said.
“I know you don’t,” Anna said, her voice softer. “But needing him to co-parent isn’t the same as needing him to love you or giving him a second chance. You can hold him at arm’s length and still let him show up for his kid. Those aren’t the same thing, Gen.”
“It feels like the same thing when he’s the one asking.”
“Do you think he’s going to fight for custody?” I finally voiced the one question that’s been haunting me.
“Gen—”
“He’s rich, he has the money, the influence, the lawyers, and Svetlana said it herself. Men like Kazimir, men of his world, didn’t let their blood grow outside—”
“Gen—”
“What if he realizes his theatrics won’t work a second time and decides to employ different means? What if—”
“Genevieve!”
Anna’s voice rattled me out of my hysteria.
Although Kazimir's actions might have made me feel a bit flattered, deep down I wasn't sure if he was doing it for his child or for me.
I constantly asked myself how long it would be before he tired of playing this game.
If I surrendered my heart to him once more, only for him to pull away, what would I do then?
Svetlana, horrible as she might’ve been, was honest about a few things, and if there was one thing I learned, it was that she knew the men in her world better than I ever could.
“I got so carried away with how he acted around me I forgot how little I was in comparison to him.” I sighed in defeat. “What if he takes my baby?”
“First, I don’t think he wants that,” Anna said. “Look around you, Gen,” her arm swept across the living room. “Does this look like a man who has come to fight for a baby? And even if he decides to, we can fight this.”
“He’s in the mafia, Ann. A fucking Pakhan and a billionaire.” I pressed my forehead into the heels of my palms. “What was I thinking? That this would turn into one of the romance books on my shelf?”
“It does read like one of them.” I heard the cheeky grin in her voice. “But we do need to come up with something. You’ve hidden for too long and now it's time to make decisions. Your baby is growing fast.”
I looked down at the bump peeking from my tank top. It was my most precious treasure. But I had been too caught up in my own emotions, forgetting that this little one needed better care. If its father loved it, then it deserved a father's love.
Anna didn’t push further. She just waited, watching me carefully as I left the window and returned to the sofa, picking up the crumpled note on the floor and rereading it like it would hold a new meaning now that I had let out my emotions.
“If I see him,” I finally said, “it’s because of the baby. Not because of him.”
“That’s all I’m saying. Make it on your terms; you don’t have to give in to him and his demands. He is the liar and his lies affected you badly.”
“And maybe,” I admitted, quieter now, “if I see him, he’ll stop filling my apartment with flowers I don’t have room for anymore.”
Anna almost smiled at that. “There’s the practical woman I know.”
I picked my phone up off the counter before I could talk myself out of it again, and typed a short reply to the number he’d been texting from every day for a month.
‘Fine. Tonight. Somewhere public.’
He chose a small private room at the back of a restaurant I’d never been to. Of course he found a middle ground.
The location was essentially public, in the heart of Manhattan and bustling with life, but the restaurant on its own was quite private.
He was already seated when I got in, a bottle of water in front of him and a nickel rolling between his thumb and index finger, his shoulders slightly hunched over.
He startled when he saw me, his eyes widening briefly with something I couldn’t bother to place before he hurriedly tucked the nickel away and got to his feet.
“Hello.” His voice was gruff like he hadn't used it much, but it still carried the velvety drawl that rubbed me the wrong way.
His eyes scanned me, lingering a bit on my stomach, but I had been intentional about dressing in a way that concealed my growing bump.
He pulled out my chair before I could sit down myself.
“What do you want?”
“What would you love to eat?”
We both spoke at the same time, with mine sharper and cutting in comparison to his calm request.
Eventually, I picked up the menu and settled for a salad while he got steak.
It took an agonizing five minutes of studying the patterns on the wall before I could finally bring myself to really look at him.
His features were slightly different. He still looked as handsome as I remembered, but there were shadows under his eyes and a light stubble dusted his otherwise smooth jaw.
“Thank you for coming.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I had a different choice.”
His head bowed slightly. “I understand.” He looked back up. “How have you been?”
“Alive,” I replied, not bothering to ask about him.
His demeanor didn’t shift one bit. “And the…” his eyes dipped, his expression softening into a question like he needed my permission to speak about the baby.
“The baby is fine.”
His chest lifted, his nostrils flaring a bit. Relief flashed through his eyes, slow and lingering.
“The office feels different without you,” he said after a while, turning his glass slowly on the table. “Rose keeps asking when you’re coming back. Caroline too.”
“I’m sure they’ll survive.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point, Kazimir?” The words came out sharper than I meant them to, and once they started I couldn’t stop them.
“You want to bring me back to the office and have the amusement of watching me embarrass myself in front of everyone while you sit entertained? I should’ve known something was up with Nikolai and the chuckles. ”
His jaw tightened and for a second I thought he’d deflect the way he always did, but instead something in his face shifted, sobered, like whatever wall he usually kept up had finally given out.
“I never enjoyed any part of that,” he said. “Svetlana and I were never together the way she explained to you. It was an arrangement born out of convenience to keep both sides of the family at peace. I never touched her, never wanted to. It was hardly real.”
“It was real enough for you to call me a warm pussy and for her to kidnap me. You were going to get married. What am I? I'm the other woman who came between you and your engagement, and now this shameful mistress is carrying your child—”
“That was before I met you.” He cut me short. “I never expected to fall in love with you, Gen.” His voice lowered to a near whisper and I hated how easily the confession shook me.
I reached out for the bottle in front of me, swallowing a large gulp of water in an attempt to appear unaffected.
“We were not supposed to become… this. I mean, you kissed me in an elevator and I assumed… I assumed you just wanted something casual. I didn’t know it would grow into this.”
Against my better judgement, I found myself seeing the angle of his argument, but even that was not enough justification for me.
“That voice record is old,” he continued. “Long before this meant anything, when I still thought this was a mutually beneficial hook up between a boss and an employee.”
“That was not—”
“I understand that now.” His voice softened. “But you can see how I would think of it as such.”
Luckily, the food arrived, giving me time to collect myself before I got lost in the logic of his explanation.
Kazimir, however, was not deterred by the presence of the waiters.
“I’m not asking it to change what happened,” he said. “I’m asking for a chance to be better than I was.”
I glanced at the young man who looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.
Kazimir reached out, taking the grape juice from him. “I’ll get that.”
He proceeded to serve the food and poured me a glass of juice.
“I’m not here for that, Kazimir.” I made myself say it clearly, so there’d be no confusion later. “I’m here to figure out how we raise this baby together. That’s the only reason I agreed to see you tonight.”
He nodded slowly, accepting it without argument, though something in his eyes told me it was a temporary compromise. “I understand.”
If the circumstances were different, I would’ve made a comment or two about how I never knew he could be this agreeable, but I was already upset at how much sense he was making and didn’t want to give him any more credits.
We spent the next while talking through the practical parts: how visits would work, what he wanted his role to look like, how much space I needed and how much he was willing to give. It was easier than I expected, almost businesslike, and I was grateful for that.
Near the end, as I reached for my coat, he spoke again, quieter this time. “Would you let me come to one of your antenatal visits?”
I paused, coat half on. “Why?”
“Because I’d like to be there for at least one appointment. Only if you’ll allow it, of course,” he added hurriedly.
I pulled my jacket on the rest of the way. “It’s not necessary. Most couples don’t come together and I’m capable of making a doctor's trip alone.”
“I never said you weren’t, and we’re not most couples.”
“Kazimir—”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to decide now. I was merely putting it out there.”
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He nodded a bit too eagerly for someone who barely got a positive response.
“Understood.”
The driver was already waiting when we stepped out of the restaurant.
Kazimir paused, his lips parted briefly, but he shut them, settling for a smile and a polite, “Thank you for seeing me.”
I nodded, slipping into the car and releasing a breath I never knew I had been holding through the entire conversation.
As the car wove through the bright lights and traffic of Manhattan, I couldn’t help the growing warmth in my belly and the nagging feeling that I might’ve unwittingly agreed to something I couldn’t name.