Chapter Twelve
Chiara
I stopped bleeding some time ago.
I have no idea how long it’s been since then and now.
I have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve been stuck staring at the same four walls, and the same two faces.
My heart seems to always ache with a constant, gnawing emptiness.
It’s a mix of the isolation, and the unrelenting presence of both my captors, and every day feels heavier than the last. The ache in my chest hurts, and the whispers in my mind grow louder, cruelly reminding me that nobody knows where I am.
I’m trying to wash my hands, but my fingers are now numb, almost as if they don’t belong to me any more. The water is running cold now, but even that isn’t doing anything to help.
When I feel that familiar sense of being watched, my back becomes stiff, and I immediately try to block out that feeling.
But then I hear it—the sound of Nikolai’s voice, always low, now questioning too.
“What’s wrong, darling?”
He asks, stepping closer.
I swallow hard as I turn the tap off, immediately turning around to face him.
His gaze is sharp, all-seeing, as his eyes rake over me, assessing every inch of my body as if he’s searching for some sort of hidden injury, something that might give it away. He doesn’t find anything, because the pain isn’t physical.
The weight of his gaze presses against my chest, making the ache inside me even sharper.
I want to tell him, I want to scream the words out, but one look at him has me frozen. All I can do is whisper, and I hope it’s enough for Nikolai.
“I miss them.”
I say, my voice weak.
My eyes burn with tears, and my throat becomes tight with emotion.
As his brows furrow slightly, confusion flickering in his expression, he takes a step closer towards me.
“Who do you miss?”
The tension is clear in his question.
I swallow hard as I try my best to hold it together.
It’s hard.
“My Papa…my brother…” My voice breaks as I continue speaking. “I just…I want them to know that I’m safe, Nikolai. That’s all I want.”
The silence that follows after is thick. Behind Nikolai, Mikhail steps into the bathroom too, but I don’t dare to look at him.
I can’t.
Pressing a hand to my chest, I take a deep breath in, feeling the rapid beat of my heart beneath my palm as tears threaten to fall. This is all too overwhelming; the weight of everything. The unknown. The helplessness.
“I want to go home.”
I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
I spot both their bodies tense, and for some time, they’re both silent. I’m not sure what to make of it, not sure what else I can say to make them understand, when finally, Mikhail speaks.
“You can’t go home.”
He tells me, stepping closer to us both, his words sounding more harsh than I expect.
I feel a sob bubbling up my throat.
I know that I can’t go home, but hearing the words being spoken out loud sends a chill through me.
“You’ll never be able to leave our sight, darling.” Nikolai adds, his tone almost too gentle as he takes a step forward as well. “At least, not until you accept that you belong to us both wholeheartedly.”
I shake my head, unable to look at him, suddenly feeling ashamed of the way my body is trembling.
“Please.” I whisper, ready to get down on my knees and beg them if it makes a difference. “I need them to know that I’m okay.”
There’s no answer right away, but I can feel their eyes on me.
In the silence that follows, a single tear falls, and I don’t even try to stop it.
I’m completely at their mercy now.
I wrap my arms around my body as my breathing soon becomes more erratic as I try to swallow the sobs down.
I can’t humiliate myself any longer.
Mikhail mutters something in Russian, his voice low and sharp. Although I don’t understand the words that are leaving his mouth, I do understand the intent behind them. He’s saying something about me—that much is clear.
Nikolai exhales slowly, his gaze flickering to me before he nods at his brother.
“I think the same.”
He says in English, making sure that I’m able to understand him now.
The weight of the words crushes down on me, and my throat tightens as I try to fight back the tears.
I just want my family to know that I’m safe.
To see my face.
To hear my voice.
To know that I haven’t disappeared without a trace.
I swallow hard, thoughts of my family swimming through my head.
Are they okay?
Are they still looking for me?
I wonder how Papa is holding up, and how Dario is too.
I wonder if they’re supporting each other during this time, or if they’re back to arguing again, like how they would after Mama’s death.
I think of my friends, of Tamana, who I left all alone in my flat.
Closing my eyes, I release a heavy breath, forcing myself to calm down.
Everything will be fine.
I say to myself.
Everything will be fine.
When I open my eyes again, Mikhail clicks his tongue at me.
“A video wouldn’t hurt.”
He says, sounding a little more sincere now.
Immediately, my heart skips a beat.
Nikolai’s expression hardens at once.
“No.”
His voice is firm.
Mikhail sighs.
I see how he tilts his head slightly, studying his brother, waiting for a few seconds. He doesn’t push—not right away. Instead, he allows the silence to stretch between them both, giving Nikolai some time to reconsider.
When he doesn’t, Mikhail only shrugs.
“Come on, Nikolai.” He says, swinging an arm over his brother’s shoulders. “She won’t say anything; all she wants is for them to know that she’s okay.”
Nikolai takes a deep breath in, his chest rising and falling. I watch the way his jaw clenches, and how tension rolls off him in waves. For a moment, I think he’ll refuse again.
But slowly, his eyes flicker to Mikhail’s.
A silent conversation passes between both brothers.
And finally, Mikhail’s lips curl into a grin as he glances between myself, and his brother.
“Fine, beauty. You can make a video, but only on one condition.”
I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my chest.
“What condition?”
His grin widens.
“Another kiss.” He tells me. I’m okay with that; they’ve been kissing me for many days now, and their touch is always expected now. “You have to kiss us both, beauty. You lead, and we follow. Sound like a plan?”
My breath catches in my throat.
This isn’t what I expected—not at all.
My first instinct is to argue with him, to push back, but the desperation to reach out to my family outweighs my pride.
It’s not like I haven’t done worse since being in their captivity.
They’ve touched me…I’ve touched them…
But I’ve never been the one to kiss them…to initiate it…to lead as they follow.
Ever.
But if a kiss is what will help me reach my family…
I nod quickly, wiping my tears away as I swallow hard.
“Okay.” I breathe out. “I’ll do it.”
If they’re surprised by my answer, they sure don’t let it show.
Nikolai is the closest, so I find myself taking a step towards him, my heart hammering in my chest. His eyes stay locked on mine. He reaches out, both arms wrapping around my middle, as he tugs me closer towards his chest. His body heat burns against me.
Taking a deep breath in, I tip my head up a little, pushing up on my toes, and I lean in. Our lips meet in a quick, soft kiss—gentle and controlled—but it’s enough to send my heart skittering.
Before I can lose my mind over it, I turn to Mikhail.
His hands find my waist immediately now that Nikolai is no longer touching me, and Mikhail holds me in place, his grip firmer, more possessive.
He doesn’t waste any time as he pulls me in with confidence, his mouth claiming mine with a little more force.
A quiet groan rumbles from his chest, the sound vibrating against my lips, the cool metal of his lip ring sending a jolt through my body.
A dangerous heat blooms inside of me.
The throbbing between my thighs returns.
And when I pull away from him, my breathing is unsteady.
I swallow hard, staring at them both expectantly, when Mikhail tuts. His lips curl into a smug grin once more as his eyes flicker from mine, to his brother, then back to me again.
“Thanks for that teaser, beauty.” He murmurs, his voice thick with amusement. “But that wasn’t what I meant.”
I blink, confusion clouding my mind.
“You said I need to kiss you both, and I did, Mikhail.”
My voice is low as I speak.
Mikhail leans in, invading my space, whispering against my lips.
“That wasn’t a kiss, Chiara. Don’t try to be smart. now” I shiver at his tone—how does his mood change so easily? “If you want to take the video, then you do as we’ve said, and you kiss us both. Willingly. Passionately. Understood?”
My heart skips a beat, my pulse quickening as I try to process what he’s demanding.
The weight of his words settle in the pit of my stomach, a mixture of dread and desire curling through me. The air has become thick, charged with something I can’t quite control.
I hesitate, my mind racing, but once again, my body betrays me. I find myself nodding at them both, reluctantly agreeing.
“Fine.”
I whisper, my heart only racing faster with every second that ticks by.
Their eyes glitter with satisfaction as they exchange a look between themselves, then Mikhail takes a step backward.
There’s no going back now.
“Say what you want to say, darling.”
Nikolai’s voice is soft, but I feel the weight of his words, urging me to comply.
I swallow hard, my mind racing with so many thoughts of what to possibly say to my family, when Nikolai pulls his phone out from his pocket, pointing it in my direction. When he taps the screen, and a bright flash shines into my face, I wince.
There’s no turning back from this.
Immediately, tears start to rise, making my vision turn blurry. I feel them spilling down my cheeks, and I choke on my words as I begin to speak.
“Papa…Dario…” I croak, my voice thick with emotion. “I miss you both.” My chest tightens as I close my eyes for a second, trying to steady my breath. “I’m safe here, please know that. I’m safe…I’m okay…I wish I could be with you.”