40. Chapter 40
Chapter forty
Iwasn’t sure how I felt inside. Or outside.
My lips tasted like Eryk. It was all over me. Something tangy clawing from my lips to my throat.
But I didn’t dare wipe my mouth dry when he’d released me from the kiss.
He smiled, triumph stretching his lips thin and sharp.
I had walked right into this, whatever it was.
I had walked into a game I didn’t know Eryk was even playing.
I had been naive to think he was just being helpful.
Even if there was to be a price, I didn’t think I could have ever surmised he would actually ask to kiss me. To him, I was still Kaed’s intended.
And he didn’t care.
Eryk had accompanied me to the Alabaster Palace in silence. But there was a thrum of energy from him that snapped at the space between us. I didn’t need to look at his face to know there was still a grin there.
My skin crawled and itched until I closed the front door behind me.
It was cooler inside the foyer, but my body felt like it wanted to get rid of its confines.
Fisting my fingers into my hair, I pulled until my scalp burned.
What was Eryk doing? I knew he’d been more than friendly from the start.
But this … this was something else. This was more than just kissing me.
And he’d backed me into a corner to take it. Whatever it was.
I had to get out of here. There wasn’t another day worth spending here if Eryk thought this was now something he could have whenever he demanded.
“Where is he?” I snapped as soon as I saw Gavrin.
He stopped mid-stride to note my frayed edges. My hair around me was like a mane and my hands were balled into fists.
“What’s wrong with you?” he finally asked.
My nostrils flared, and I waved a hand. “Nothing. Where is he?”
I was done waiting for him to show up. Even if I had nothing on my family yet, I had to get out of this city. And I might as well tell Kaed so he didn’t come after me. I wasn’t going to be the cause of his next entanglement with the council.
“He probably doesn’t want company right now.”
I looked at Gavrin and nearly tapped my foot as I waited for him to fess up.
He sighed heavily and folded like a paper house.
Kaed was exactly where Gavrin said he would be.
The highest wall of the city travelled up part of the northern mountains, growing from the rugged terrain like a jagged spine.
Kaed was leaning against a buttery facade of stone, the sunset before him.
He looked casually placed there. Like a painter might depict a worker after a hard day in the field, admiring their labours.
Kaed looked like he’d felt the weight of a day of labour.
His limbs seemed heavy as they wrapped around his knees, his eyes closed to the day as it slipped away.
“I rather liked Gavrin.” Kaed chuffed but didn’t open his eyes. “It won’t be the same around here when I string him up by his toes.” Kaed sighed and pushed to stand atop the wall.
“Don’t blame him. I pushed him pretty hard,” I said, pulling a face.
Kaed gave me a look, saying he knew exactly how hard I had to push to get Gavrin to cave.
“He’s good with a sword, and he’s a good friend,” Kaed decided.
A bubble of laughter tried to escape from me, but the weight of what I had to say stopped it.
“Can you come down here?” My neck craned to see his silhouette against the sky as he towered over me.
Shadows encircled him as his palms faced out, fingers braced backwards, until they landed him soundlessly on the wall walk in front of me.
Right in front of me.
“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“Maybe I’m hoping it will scare you away,” he snipped.
Maybe I should be scared of a fae male towering over me with shadows for company and cheekbones so severe they were like precious cut glass.
But I couldn’t convince my body to feel fear. Not from him. Not that kind anyway. There was a crackle of something that played on my nerve endings when I saw him. But that was driven by a burning desire deep in my core.
The fear of what he would taste like. The fear of liking it. The fear of needing it.
Again.
And again.
“Do you intend to just stand there, or are you here for something?”
His mood was odd. More strange than usual. More defensive. Less arrogant.
Right. I was here for something. Be declarative, I told myself. Tell him what you need. Don’t ask.
“I came to tell you—”
“That you kissed Eryk.”
I didn’t find my voice for a moment.
The plan to tell him of my leaving was forgotten. Scrubbed away by the grit in Kaed’s tone.
“His scent is all over you.” His lip curled back.
A wave of inexplicable shame rose up inside me, and I rubbed my arms. I did smell of Eryk.
I tasted of him. And it repulsed me. Of course, Kaed could smell that.
Had Gavrin known too? Was that why he gave in so easily when I pushed for where Kaed was?
He wasn’t going to get in the middle of this?
Godsdamn Gavrin! He could have warned me!
“Your scent … it’s mixed with his. Your heart is racing. Your blood is rushing through you.” His voice was cold. Hard. “That must have been some kiss.”
“I can assure you those feelings are not because of Eryk’s kiss.” I scoffed, folding my arms.
The moment the words left my mouth, I froze. And so did Kaed.
Intense blue fire swirled in Kaed’s eyes. Enticing. Hungry. Irreverent in its need.
And my body was already pulsing, my blood rushing, just as Kaed had said.
There was no way Eryk could have elicited those feelings in me.
But Kaed did.
I had to leave this place. I couldn’t stay just because my centre ignited with need every time I found myself lost in the scent of him, in the desire to touch him.
I didn’t want Eryk’s scent on me. I wanted Kaed’s. I wanted to scour Eryk’s lingering touch from me
“I should go.” I turned on my heel but didn’t get very far.
Kaed’s fingers encircled my arm, the cool metal of his rings nipping against my bare skin. “Wait. Stay.” Kaed’s words coursed through me.
I turned until I was facing him. From this angle, his jaw would make any godstatue feel envy in their marble hearts.
“It was his price,” I breathed onto his chest, unsure if I could look him in the eye as I admitted that.
He still gripped me as a low growl rumbled in him.
“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t quite what I meant, but fine-tuning my words was eluding me as I stood pressed so close to him.
“You think I’m angry with you?” He tensed beside me.
Biting my lip, I finally found a way to look up. But my stare fell to his mouth as he spoke.
“Eryk knew what he was doing. He knew what he was taking.” His voice was heavy.
Not with indifference, not with sorrow, but with a glowering rage that twisted beneath his skin.
“He was taking something … something that mattered to me. And he did it to bait me.” He paused, and then I felt his fingers beneath my chin.
“Did he hurt you?” Roaring blue waves roiled before me as his eyes searched mine.
It had hurt me in a way. But I couldn’t tell him that. It had been the price of ensuring his freedom from the Cage, and I wasn’t even sure Eryk would continue to keep his end of the deal now that he had what he wanted from me.
“You didn’t have to do that. Not for me. Never”—his fingers held my jaw more firmly— “never do something like that for me.”
He’d said as much in anger the other night when he’d collapsed. But this was softer, the tug of his words trying to pull me from the veil I wanted to hide under.
His hand on my wrist now rubbed the scar there. He’d never commented on it.
But now, his thumb was brushing over it like a talisman.
“Don’t kill him,” I said into his chest.
Kaed’s head snapped back as he laughed, and he released my chin. “You have a sense of humour about you. I will admit, I did contemplate at least four different ways to kill him since I scented him on you when you walked up here.”
I swallowed a wave of nausea. “Don’t. Please.” I tried. “Or what happened today was for nothing, and they’ll take you again.” An ache formed in my throat.
Kaed growled again, and for some reason, he held my hand to his chest as he did. I could feel the vibrations of every muscle fibre pulled tight beneath his shirt. Every part of him was cut from stone and granite.
My own muscles clenched in response.
They clenched across my torso as my heart squeezed. And much, much lower.
Kaed studied me before he spoke. “I think you’re beginning to confuse me with a caged animal instead of the person I am.” His timbre dropped low as his words found me. “You’ve seen me bowed too many times, you think you can command me not to kill him?”
Out of nowhere, there was a scalding heat rolling off him in waves. His fist grasped an invisible ball, and a cloud of shadows manifested in his palm, swirling like a storm.
“I think I know the person you are.” My voice was steady despite the shadows pooling from him.
“And does that person frighten you?” He took a step closer. “Intimidate you?” Closer. “Excite you?” His eyes dipped to me, heavy lashes now fanned over his cheeks.
My mouth went dry as our bodies touched.
Kaed traced my jaw with his free hand and I moved with his commands as he tilted my chin upwards.
A tether tugged deep inside me and a soundless breath escaped my lips.
“What are you doing?” I finally said. Breathy. Panting.
“I’m going to kiss you.” His finger tipped my chin a little higher, to near pain but teetering on that dangerous precipice of teasing and torture. “And I want you to enjoy it.”
His mouth moved down to mine, but he held it just far enough away that if I used my tongue, I would barely touch his lips.
That tether inside me twisted and tugged until it might snap.
“Do you want that?” His breath was heady as it fell over my lips.
I wanted him. But how did I admit that? How had I come to this part of myself? The part that wanted him and didn’t remember to hate him? I was losing myself to my selfish desires, forgetting why I needed to leave. Needed to be free.
“Imogen, I need to hear you say the words.”
My eyes had closed as he said my name. A command and a prayer in his words, his voice undid something in me.
Every second was as long a day as his lips lingered just out of reach and my heartbeat slowed.
“I want you,” I whispered.
His answering growl was something I felt shudder all over my body. It radiated from him to me and shook my core, awakening it.
His hand cupped my neck and held me steady when I tried to close the gap. His head moved closer, and his lips grazed mine.
“Is this supposed to be a punishment?” I rasped with a hitched breath as he withheld the kiss, the taste of him.
He was torturing me as he refused to give in to those few inches of space, controlling every movement between us.
The darkest rumble of laughter poured from him as he held my head just where he wanted. “Trust me, peach. This is just teasing.” He paused. “You’ll know when I’m punishing you.”
I whimpered.
His jaw flexed in response, and he looked like he wanted to bite me, not kiss me.
His lips whispered across mine.
Not kissing. Not yet. Teasing.
Not punishing. Not yet.
I nearly cried out from the faint contact. I shouldn’t want this. And yet, I couldn’t deny my body what it craved, what it needed.
But the warmth of him ripped from me before I could taste anything.
I opened my eyes, about to reprimand him for threatening to shatter me and then not doing so.
“Someone’s coming.” He broke off the contact and put me behind him.