42. Chapter 42 #3
And when I looked at him again, part of me wondered how I had been able to rip my lips from his at all.
His cheekbones were like shafts of moonlight cutting through the night.
Rain had gathered until it trickled down his nose and painted his angles like knife edges honed on stars until they could cut glass.
His mouth devoured mine again before I had a chance to breathe, to recover.
Once he let me up for air, I was panting through swollen lips.
“Did you enjoy that?” A tremor of heat vibrated through his words as his breath warmed my skin.
I nodded as his fingers still held my chin.
He chuckled, low and breathy at that. “Good.” He loosened his grip, but didn’t let go.
I reached to stroke the shimmering plane of his wings around us, my fingers rippling through them as they always did with his shadows.
“Why did you kiss me?” I knew I wanted him like that.
I’d been fighting and losing that battle for what felt like an age now.
“I don’t need you to pity me because … of what I did earlier.
” I chewed on my sensitive lip, the pendant at my neck now pinched between my thumb and forefinger.
“I kissed him because I knew … I knew he would try to destroy you if I didn’t.
” My words were spinning like a snow flurry.
“It was his price, and I would pay it again if it meant—”
“You will never pay that price. Not to him. Not to anyone. Ever again.”
Fire ignited deliciously low at the possessive undercurrent in his voice.
I dropped the pendant. “That’s you protecting me?” I pushed my shoulders back and lifted an eyebrow.
A wicked and dark grin etched across his face. Did he like that? Like the defiance in my words? In me?
“That’s me telling you”—he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear—“that if he finds his lips on yours again, I will seal his mouth shut to remind him of what is mine.”
I swallowed. “I’m not yours, Kaed.”
A challenging look glimmered in his eyes.
“I know I’m your captive. But I am still me,” I pushed, trying to find space.
Something in both of us sobered somewhere along the dizzying highway between us.
“Do you feel like my captive?” His voice was entirely devoid of emotion; I couldn’t find anything in it to latch onto.
Yes. No. I didn’t know. Caged in his arms felt better than anything I’d felt before.
“I want you to freely be here, to kiss me.” Kaed allowed a little warmth back into his words. “You said you wanted it. Has that changed in this moment?”
It hadn’t.
“Am I free? To leave now if I choose?”
I missed the heat of his hard body as he pulled away.
Storm clouds raged in the sky above us, and for the longest time, he said nothing.
“If that’s what you choose.” A muscle from his jaw to temple was wrung out.
“Then yes. If you choose to leave, I will not stop you.” His eyes had fallen away from me.
Even with the threat of his father, his brother, what they wanted from me, from Kaed, he’d let me go?
Even if he was confined here still? “Our bargain has ended. You are free.”
Cold and ice filled my chest. Confusion manifested as my muscles went stiff inside me. My bones felt like brittle chalk. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run or cry. Or kiss him.
Being presented with my freedom. Given, not conditional. I could find my parents, my true family.
I could leave Viverna. Leave Kaed.
“I don’t know what I want.” My hand swung the chain around my neck again. The worn-out shell felt fragile in my grip. My family. Kaed. This city. Everything felt crammed together without space to breathe.
“What is this?” His words were gentle as he took the pendant between his fingers.
I blinked up at him.
“You always carry it with you. Is it important?”
How did I tell him everything it meant to me? Would he even understand?
“It’s … I …” He’d shared so much with me, so much pain. I could share this with him. “My parents … I never knew them.” I had to look into the veil of rain and not into his eyes. “They … I was abandoned as an infant. It’s all I have of my family. My true family.”
His fingers released the pendant as I clasped it again.
I had to leave. I had to find them. As much as I wanted to stay right where I was, I knew I needed to know more.
“Who were they?” Kaed’s voice was a little hoarse. Strained.
I shook my head as I looked up to him. “I don’t know.” It sounded so pathetic after his admission. He’d lost his family, and I couldn’t find mine.
“And this is a clue?” He searched my eyes.
I nodded.
“I will help you.” His voice was steady and I leaned into it. “I will help you. Any way I can.”
It was his way of making me stay. And it worked. It was enough.
His fingers held my chin again. “Imogen …” He breathed my name with new life every time he spoke it. “Imogen … I …”
I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I knew that. I knew I had to, but I didn’t anticipate that leaving this new world would be this hard.
“I don’t know what I want,” I said over the pattering of rain. “I can’t give you more than that.”
The rain soaked me as I looked at him through a silver veil.
“Can you live with that?” Could I?
“Do I have a choice?” He shrugged his shoulders back, a smirk beginning to touch his lips.
Despite myself, I smiled.
“At your mercy, Lady Imogen.” His eyes danced with a wildness as he beamed down at me.