Chapter 30
“Oh my dearest Charlotte,” Victor said.
Charlotte felt the tremble in Victor’s hands as he guided her into his bedchamber. The moment the door shut behind them, he cupped her face as though he feared she might vanish if he let go for even a second.
His mouth crashed against hers with desperate hunger, and Charlotte melted into him at once. His kiss was not polished and teasing as it often was, but frantic, relieved, and full of emotion so raw it made her chest ache.
She clutched the front of his coat tightly beneath her fingers.
Her entire body hummed with longing for him, with relief that he was here and touching her and looking at her as though she mattered more than breath itself.
His lips moved against hers again and again, deepening the kiss until her knees weakened beneath her skirts.
Charlotte let out the smallest whimper, and Victor groaned softly as though the sound undid him entirely.
“Charlotte,” he murmured against her mouth. “God, Charlotte.”
She kissed him back eagerly. “You frighten me.”
“I frighten you?” he asked hoarsely. “I thought I had lost you.”
His forehead pressed against hers. Charlotte could feel his uneven breathing fanning over her cheeks, and for once, the arrogant duke looked utterly shaken.
It made her heart twist painfully with tenderness.
She had never seen him stripped so bare emotionally before, and suddenly all the walls she had always sensed around him seemed cracked wide open.
Victor’s hands moved over her arms, her shoulders, her waist. “Are you truly unharmed?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Victor, I am perfectly well.”
“I do not believe you.”
Before she could protest, he carefully began undoing the fastenings of her gown. Charlotte stared at him in surprise as his fingers worked with intense concentration. There was nothing improper or playful about his expression now. He looked consumed by worry.
“Victor…”
“Hush,” he said.
The command was gentle rather than stern. He slid the fabric from her shoulders carefully, exposing her chemise beneath. His eyes swept over her skin anxiously, searching for bruises or cuts.
Charlotte’s breath caught. “You are behaving as though I fought a war.”
“You may mock me all you please,” he muttered, “once I am certain you are safe.”
She could not help smiling faintly despite the emotion clogging her throat.
The feared Duke of Mulford looked ready to battle the entire city over one frightened wife.
His large hands skimmed carefully down her arms, examining her wrists and palms. When he found a faint red mark near her elbow, his jaw tightened immediately.
“There,” he said darkly. “You are injured.”
Charlotte looked down. “That is hardly an injury.”
“It shall bruise,” he said.
“It shall survive.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “You are exceedingly difficult.”
“And you are exceedingly dramatic.”
A reluctant huff of laughter escaped him then. “You could have nearly died today, and you call me dramatic.”
“I did not nearly die; our carriage was not involved,” she said.
“You were near enough.”
The raw honesty in his voice silenced her. Victor swallowed hard before gently pushing her chemise sleeve farther down to inspect her shoulder. His fingertips brushed her skin lightly, reverently, and Charlotte shivered beneath the touch.
His gaze snapped upward instantly. “Does it hurt?”
“No,” she whispered breathlessly. “Not at all.”
Something dark and yearning flickered across his face then.
His hands slowed as they moved lower along her waist. Even through the thin fabric of her chemise, his touch sent heat racing through her body.
Charlotte watched him carefully as he knelt before her and lifted the hem slightly to inspect her legs.
The sight of the proud duke kneeling for her nearly stole her breath entirely.
“Victor,” she said softly.
His hand smoothed carefully over her calf. “Tell me if anything pains you.”
“Only my heart.”
His hand stilled immediately. Slowly, he looked up at her.
Charlotte’s chest tightened at the emotion in his eyes. There was fear there still, but also something deeper now. Something vulnerable.
He rested his forehead briefly against her knee. “I have been a fool.”
“You have been scared; I understand that now,” she said.
“That does not excuse the way I treated you.”
Charlotte’s fingers slipped gently into his dark hair. “You were trying to protect yourself.”
“And in doing so, I hurt you instead.” His voice roughened. “I pushed you away because I thought distance would spare me pain. Yet these last days without you have been the worst I have endured in years.”
Her eyes stung unexpectedly.
Victor rose slowly to his feet again. “When you had gone to your family, I told myself it was for the best. That this marriage could return to being practical and orderly.” He laughed bitterly. “Instead, I wandered this house like a damned ghost.”
Charlotte’s heart squeezed painfully.
“And today…” He cupped her cheek carefully. “When I heard there had been a carriage accident near Saville Road, I thought God had finally decided to punish me completely.”
“Victor…I do not think that… ”
“No, let me say it.” His voice trembled slightly. “I have spent half my life believing that loving people doomed them. I convinced myself that if I remained distant enough, careless enough, then loss could never ruin me again.”
Charlotte reached for his hand.
He held it tightly. “But you ruined all of that.”
A watery laugh escaped her. “What a romantic declaration.”
His lips twitched faintly. “You know what I mean.”
“I do,” she said.
Victor exhaled slowly before speaking again. “I blamed myself for my parents’ deaths for so many years that the guilt became part of me. I could not imagine bringing children into this world only to lose them too. Or…” His voice dropped. “To fail them.”
Charlotte’s heart broke for the lonely little boy he had once been.
“You were a child,” she whispered firmly. “You did not cause that accident.”
“I know that here.” He touched his temple bitterly. “But convincing the rest of me has proven rather difficult.”
Charlotte stepped closer until their bodies nearly touched. “Healing does not happen all at once.”
His gaze softened.
“But you came for me today,” she said quietly. “Despite your fear.”
“I would cross through hell itself for you.”
Her breath caught sharply at the fierce sincerity in his voice.
Victor touched his forehead gently against hers again. “When I saw you standing there unharmed, all I could think was that I loved you too much to lose you.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened.
He closed his eyes briefly as though finally surrendering to something inevitable. “I love you, Charlotte. God help me, I am entirely and hopelessly in love with you.”
The words hit her with such force that tears immediately filled her eyes.
“Oh, Victor,” she whispered shakily. “I love you too.”
His expression cracked with relief.
Then he kissed her again.
This kiss was slower than before, deeper, filled with tenderness and yearning that made Charlotte’s entire body ache for him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed herself against him eagerly. She could feel his heartbeat hammering beneath his chest.
His hands slid carefully along her waist before pulling her closer still. Charlotte sighed into his mouth, overcome by warmth and desire and happiness all at once. Every touch felt precious now that she knew his heart belonged to her as fully as hers belonged to him.
Victor kissed along her jaw slowly. “My wife,” he murmured against her skin.
A shiver raced through her.
“You have no notion what you do to me.”
Charlotte laughed softly despite herself. “I believe I have some notion.”
“Not enough.”
His lips brushed her neck, and heat flooded through her body immediately. Charlotte clung tighter to him as his hands stroked gently along her back.
“You are trembling,” he whispered.
“So are you.”
“That is because you terrify me.”
She pulled back just enough to look at him. “The mighty Duke of Mulford is frightened of his own wife?”
“You are far more dangerous than any battlefield.”
Charlotte laughed through her tears. “You are absurd.”
“And yet you adore me.”
“I fear I do,” she sighed.
His grin appeared then at last, wicked and beautiful and achingly familiar. “Excellent. I should hate to think I confessed all of that merely to be rejected.”
She smacked lightly at his shoulder. “Rogue.”
He caught her hand immediately and kissed her palm. “ I am your rogue.”
The simple words made her heart swell painfully with affection.
Victor drew her into his arms once more and held her tightly against him. Charlotte rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. For the first time since their marriage began, she felt no uncertainty between them.
Only love. Only warmth. Only home.
“You… have you changed your mind? Because if you haven’t, I think I can come to terms with-” she whispered.
Victor brushed his thumb gently along her cheek. “About children? Yes.” His voice lowered tenderly. “About you, never. I have loved you for longer than I wish to admit, that has not changed, but I do want to have a family with you.”
Emotion swelled so fiercely inside her that she nearly laughed and cried at once.
She had convinced herself she must settle for half a marriage, half a heart, half a dream.
Yet here he stood before her, offering her everything she had longed for.
Charlotte felt so overwhelmed with joy that she scarcely knew what to do with herself.
“You truly mean it?” she asked softly.
“I would not jest about such a thing.”
“And you are not simply frightened after today?” she asked.
Victor gave a quiet huff of amusement. “I am constantly frightened where you are concerned.” His gaze darkened warmly. “But this is not fear. It is clarity.”
Charlotte’s eyes stung again.