Chapter 15
Chapter
Fifteen
Was it a mistake to have taken Elise out of the house? Nico worried that the answer was probably yes.
She hadn't held his hand as they walked back inside, and it made him feel like a middle schooler to think about that. But he had found himself reaching for her more than once. He didn't know if she was doing it subconsciously, but every time his hand reached out, her own jerked back.
And once they were inside, she made up an excuse about checking on Cole. That was her purpose for being in the house. She was doing her job, not trying to get away from him. But it sure felt like it.
Javi had been passing by in the hallway and offered to do a round of babysitting. He gave an easy smile at Elise and a warning look at Nico, as if he could possibly know Nico had taken Elise outside, as if he could smell the sunshine on her.
Nico was tempted to growl at him and force him away so he could stay with Elise. But he forced himself to nod and leave.
Clearly, Elise didn't want to be with him right then. Clearly, he had made some sort of misstep.
A little distance could do them both good.
She wasn't his girlfriend. They weren't dating. There was no future for them.
One day soon, Cole would be better, and Elise would be gone. Safely returned home, he assured himself, because he wasn't going to let any harm come to her. He had gotten her into this mess, and he wouldn't repay her hard work with violence, no matter what Cole or the others said.
Nico went back to his bedroom and leaned against the door, allowing himself to bang his head against the wall exactly twice. It was a nice, sturdy wall and gave a satisfying thunk that reverberated through his skull and the room.
This was a fucking mess.
It was a little funny that she thought he was in a cult. Now it was too late, but he realized he should have taken the bait.
Of course a human would think that a group of thirty people living in the middle of the woods in one big house, with an aversion to doctors, had some interesting ideas about the world, but it was too late now.
Maybe he could make up a pamphlet to give her later. Something to sell the idea. There was a certain cultiness to life in a werewolf pack, he could agree.
Despite his frustration, he smiled. Cole would get a kick out of thinking he was some sort of incarnation of a god, or whatever it was cults believed, when he got better.
On the bed was the pile of blankets and pillows that made up the DMZ that lay between them every night.
It was a foot high now and getting more ridiculous by the day.
Did Elise think it was doing a thing to protect her?
Nico bared his teeth at the offending fabric like it could fight back or challenge him.
Every night, Elise lay less than two feet away, but there was a mountain of cotton and down between them.
He yanked one of the pillows off the bed and threw it to the floor, and then another. He almost ripped into the third but restrained himself at the last moment and threw that final pillow against the wall. It hit with barely a whisper of contact and slid to the floor.
Then came the blankets. It was only a minute or two of work, and then there was nothing lying in that space to offend him. The bed was wide and covered in only the comforter and pillows they'd both been using.
The outburst didn't help anything, and almost as soon as he was done, he realized he shouldn't have done it. Elise would walk into the room and see it, and she might get the wrong idea. He wasn't trying to force her into anything.
Of course not. He would never do that.
But if she was here under other circumstances, and if she had been staying in the room for days because she wanted to be there—
He let the thought trail off. That would never happen. She was human. He had to remind himself again and again. Now she thought he was a cult member, and as she liked to remind him, he had kidnapped her.
This didn't end well.
Besides, she would rather spend time with Javi than with him.
He understood it. Javi was an easygoing wolf, always there with a joke, always happy to lighten the mood. Sane enough not to kidnap a random woman from her place of work.
Nico growled at nothing. He left the room and slammed the door with a bit of force, and he didn't give a damn who heard. He just needed to move. Though it was broad daylight, it was the perfect time for another run in the woods in his other form.
Several hours later, he returned, his muscles well-used, but his mind still a whirlwind of confusion and despair. He'd been trying to figure out some fix for the mess he was in, but nothing had come to him.
It wasn't a situation that could be fixed.
At least he was calm by the time Elise came to his room that night. She shut the door behind her and then saw the bed. She froze. Her blue eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open, though only a little. Her fingers flexed, and he wondered if she might try and back out of the room.
"Were you doing laundry?" she asked carefully.
That was another prompt he should take, but Nico was lying to her enough, and he didn't want to lie about the inconsequential things.
"No," was his reply.
Several expressions flitted across Elise's face in quick succession.
And she must have had something she wanted to say, but eventually, she just nodded and picked up one of the pillows from the floor and threw it toward the head of the bed, ready to remake the boundary. She reached for a second pillow.
"Don't," said Nico.
Elise turned a look to him. "Don't what?" She was holding her pillow in front of her like a shield, posture stiff.
"You know what I mean," he said. His wolf was riding high, his body humming with the need to act.
"I'm not sure I do." She was careful in her response.
"We don't need that there."
Elise picked up one of the blankets. "I'm pretty sure we do."
She didn't mention it, but his mind flashed back to the kiss they had shared the night before, and his whole body lit up from within. He knew he wanted her. Every cell of his being was attuned to her.
And he knew she wanted him right back.
These past few days, he had gotten conversant in the changes in her scent. The subtle shifts that gave away so much more than she could ever know. She might hate him if she knew how well he could read her.
She had the final pillow in her hand, and Nico grabbed it.
"It's fucking ridiculous," he said.
"This whole situation is ridiculous," said Elise. "I don't know why you think this is the final straw."
"It just is." He yanked the pillow out of her grasp, and that forced her two steps forward.
She tilted her head up to look at him, and her eyes were blazing with that fire that always lived within her.
She was close enough now that her toes were nearly touching his.
She lifted her chin to meet his gaze with a challenging stare of her own.
He needed to step back right now. He needed to let her put the pillows back on the bed.
He needed to somehow figure out how to travel back in time and stop himself from ever meeting her in the first place.
Nico did none of those things.
He leaned forward and kissed her.
Where their lips met, it was an explosion in his body. Something detonated, and the ground beneath his feet seemed to shake. He clutched her close, and Elise's hands pressed against his chest. He waited for her to push him away.
That would be the smart move, the sane move.
Instead, her fingers dug in deep. If she had claws, she would have marked him up.
God, he would have loved that.
But after a moment, Elise tore herself away.
They were both breathing hard, and she was staring at him so intensely that if she had been a shifter, her eyes would have been glowing.
His probably were. He hoped they were. Even if it was insane and the last thing he should do, he wanted her to know all parts of himself.
"Have you lost your mind?" she demanded, but it came out husky.
There was only one answer to give. "Yes."
If it was a warning, it failed.
They were kissing again, and he didn't know if he started it or she did.
Maybe it was both of them. At last, her leg went up to hitch around his hip, and he picked her up the rest of the way, swallowing down her moans against his lips.
She wrapped her thighs around his waist, and it was nothing to support her.
He moved blindly, but this was his room. He didn't need to see as he laid her down gently in the center of his bed, right where the blanket and pillow DMZ had once stood.
He got lost in kissing her, letting his hands find all those sweet spots that made her gasp and twitch. Her own fingers trailed over his arms and his chest, and if he had been willing to break away for even a second, he would have torn off his shirt so she could play with his naked skin.
He groaned. Yes, naked. That's what they needed.
But there was just enough sanity left in him to keep his hands disciplined and keep from pulling or tugging at anything she was wearing. He was drowning in the scent of her, the feel of her. It was all around him, even stronger now with her arousal building, and he was rock hard.
Elise squirmed under him, and it took him a second to realize she was trying to push down her own pants. Her fingers fumbled with the fabric and exposed an inch of tender skin.
Oh fuck.
He could resist his own temptations, but her?
He wasn't a saint.
"Are you sure?" he forced himself to ask.
Elise's expression was arousal and frustration and something that almost looked like guilt. She couldn't be making her desires more clear. "I'm sure right now," she said.
And if he had been a better man, he might have taken the warning. They both knew this was insane. But he was thinking the exact same thing.
This was their only shot.
He pulled her pants down and took a moment to admire her. She was gorgeous lying in his bed, legs spread, and all his.
If he could have this forever—but no. All they could do was steal this one moment, and if that was all that they were ever going to have, he was going to make this good for her.
He pushed her shirt up a little bit—his shirt, the one he was forcing her to borrow, the one that was covering her in his scent day and night—and exposed the bottom of her stomach. He peppered kisses all over the soft skin and trailed down to where he found her center, hot and wet and ready.
Elise hitched a leg over his shoulder, and Nico feasted. She dug her fingers into his hair and tugged on him, using him exactly how she wanted.
And fuck, he loved being used.
Fingers, tongue, lips, everything. He listened for her moans and drowned in the taste of her. All while her hips bucked, almost hard enough to tear away from him, but she wasn't trying to escape. She just wanted more and more and more, and he gave it to her.
This was what he was made to do.
Her gasps grew shorter until she was panting out his name, her hips humping against his face until she clutched his hair almost hard enough to make it really hurt as she came.
Nico pulled away gently, kissing a line of kisses up her body until he made it all the way up to her face. He hesitated for a moment, but she pulled him down, and then they were kissing each other. And she clutched him close.
He was rock hard. Her legs were still open. It would take nothing to slide inside her. And she wanted it as much as he did. He could feel it in the beat of her heart, could smell it in the arousal that still suffused the room.
But one last thread of sanity tugged at him, and he forced himself to pull away. He held himself over her, staring down. He braced his arms on either side of her and tried to force himself to do anything but look at her with everything he could feel in his heart.
His eyes had to be glowing, but she didn't question it. Her own eyes were wide open and inviting. And she could be his if only he took her.
Nico pulled back and stood, feet planted firmly on the floor. He hadn't even bothered to take off his damned shoes.
"We need to stop," he said.
And then he backed away from her, feeling like he was tearing a part of himself out with every step.
He left her alone in his bed, like a total asshole.