Chapter Two #2
“I am going to kick your man’s ass one day,” Harmony said. I sat back and watched as the others laughed and shared their inside jokes. They were dating or now married to brothers and were already a family in their own right. I was on the outside looking in, but that was where I wanted to be.
“Anyway, where have you been?” Violet asked.
I frowned. “Here? Where I am always.”
“You say that, yet you haven’t texted. No call. No note,” Sienna said, perfecting her perfect British accent as she pretended that she was Molly Weasley from the Harry Potter series.
“I’m fine. Really. Just busy working. And after the wedding, I figured everyone would be busy with cleanup and honeymooning and everything that brides are supposed to do on their wedding night.” I looked at Harmony, and she blushed even harder.
Apparently, she’d had a very nice wedding night.
“Well, considering you ran out of the reception, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I looked at Violet, noting the concern in her eyes.
“I didn’t run. I said goodbye.”
“And then you ran like there was a demon on your tail,” Sienna said. “We saw. Are you okay?”
“I didn’t see,” Harmony said quickly. “I was a little preoccupied. And I’m sorry about that. But what happened? Are you okay?”
We settled on the couches, and I set my hands in my lap.
I thought I’d hid things well. But from the way they looked at me now, I knew I hadn’t been entirely successful.
I’d never been very good at hiding.
The bruises on my soul were evidence of that.
“It’s fine.”
“What’s fine?” Violet asked, her voice stern.
“Beckham kissed me.” I hadn’t actually meant to say that. And as their eyes widened, and they leaned forward, I knew I was in for it.
Well…crap.
That secret was supposed to go with me to the grave. The kiss hadn’t meant anything. It couldn’t.
“He did? Did you not want it?” Sienna asked, frowning.
“Because I’ll kick his ass for you, or I’ll have Aiden do it if that’s the case.
He may be big and bearded and a little broody—although he’s not really bearded right now since he shaved for the wedding—but anyway, I will totally kick his ass if I need to. Or have it kicked.”
I shook my head quickly as Sienna continued to ramble.
“I’m fine. Really. He didn’t hurt me. Didn’t do anything wrong. But it can never happen again. It can’t. Totally not going there again.”
I slammed my mouth shut as the girls looked at me expectantly.
What was wrong with me? I was never like this. I was good at letting people know parts of myself, but they didn’t need to know this part. And, honestly, I didn’t want to relive it.
But as my friends waited, I knew I had to tell them something. But not everything.
“I was in a bad relationship once. I’m not ready to date yet.”
I didn’t know if I would ever be ready.
They nodded, and Violet reached out and gripped my hand. She gave it a squeeze, and I squeezed back, though not as long as I might have wanted to.
“Well, if you need anything, we’re here for you. You don’t have to keep it all bottled up.”
“Bottling things up isn’t good.”
I looked at Sienna and then the other two, and I knew they were talking about their own experiences and thinking about Alison. I didn’t want to worry them. Though I didn’t know what to say.
So I simply smiled and took a cupcake.
“I’m really okay. I was a bit surprised that I kissed Beckham back. That’s all. But we’re going to be friends like always. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t worry about me. Now, tell me all about the rest of the reception that I missed. And I’m going to devour this cupcake. I’m just saying.”
The way they looked at me told me that they didn’t quite believe me, but that was fine.
I didn’t really believe myself. As long as they didn’t push, everything would be okay.
I didn’t know what I would say if they did try to get more out of me.
We finished the plate of cupcakes, and all of the cheese and crackers and other goodness from the charcuterie board, and then I leaned back, my stomach full. I felt content.
It was still odd to have girlfriends. It wasn’t something I’d had before this. It wasn’t allowed.
But this was nice. I didn’t feel quite so alone.
“Okay, well, we were going to take you to the bar to go meet our men, but we don’t have to force you out if you don’t want to go,” Harmony said, helping me clean up.
I looked at the others as they tried to appear busy and held back a wince.
I didn’t want people to feel as if they needed to be careful around me.
Worrying them wasn’t something I wanted.
And I didn’t want to be a liar. If everything were truly going to be okay, I knew I had to leave the house. At least, for a little bit.
“It’ll be great. I’ll join you, and everything will go back to normal. Just let me change, okay?” I asked.
“I don’t even know if Beckham is working tonight,” Violet said.
“Oh. That’s good.”
“Yeah, we can hang out and pester Dillon about what his plans are for the rest of his life,” Harmony said, smiling. “Maybe you can get something out of him. He trusts you. And that’s good.”
I nodded and then went off to change while the others no doubt chatted about me in the living room.
I didn’t mind. They could talk all they wanted. It wasn’t as if they’d ever guess the person I once was. Uncover the fallout of the choices I’d made. And if I kept pretending that everything was normal and okay, maybe it actually would be.
Though I didn’t know if it was good or not that Dillon trusted me.
I didn’t know if anyone should.
Because there was always the threat of people coming. And once those looking for me found me, I didn’t think anyone around me would be safe. Especially not the man who’d kissed me. The one who’d slid into my dreams every night since. No, not him. Especially him.