Chapter Seven
BECKHAM
I looked over at Meadow dancing in the corner of the bar with the girls and couldn’t hold back my smile. She seemed so damn happy.
And the hell of it was, I was happy, too.
That’s why I hadn’t told her that I knew about her past.
Why I didn’t tell her anything about mine.
I was the worst kind of coward.
But I didn’t know how to reveal those things without ruining what we had. Even if I knew that what we had couldn’t be fully realized until I did.
Jesus, I was a horrible person.
“Why the long face?” Dillon asked as he sidled up to me behind the bar. He started helping me clean the dirty glasses, and I shrugged.
“No reason.”
“Yeah. Not buying that. If you want to talk, just let me know.”
“You’re a good kid.”
Dillon glanced over at me, his hands covered in suds. “Thanks. But I’m not really a kid anymore.”
“Well, since we’re your elders, you’re always going to be a kid to us.”
“That’s what Cameron says. Maybe when I’m actually allowed to drink behind the bar, I won’t be a kid anymore.”
“Well, first, you don’t drink behind the bar.”
“You know what I mean. Actually be legal to drink rather than just standing here, helping you clean glasses.”
“Hate to break it to you, kid,” I said with a wink, “but your family and I are probably always going to call you that. Even when we’re all in our fifties.”
“So that means you’re going to be here until then?” Dillon asked, his voice suddenly serious.
I looked at him, trying to figure out what I should say.
I didn’t have an answer. Did I want to be?
Yeah, maybe. And that was the first time I’d really let myself think that.
I hadn’t allowed myself to think anything like that before.
I wanted to stay. I liked what I had here.
I enjoyed this feeling. I loved being happy.
But everything could change in an instant.
It had already changed more than once in my life.
And I knew I couldn’t let myself get too settled.
Forget where I came from. But I didn’t say any of that.
Instead, I shrugged and looked over at Dillon.
“That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?”
“Maybe.” Dillon smiled as he said it, and I had a feeling he was trying to lighten the mood since things felt kind of heavy right then.
He was a good kid, a good man. And I had a feeling as he grew up, he would grow into an even better one.
I liked him. Cared about all the Connolly brothers. And even though I worked for them, they made me feel like I was a part of their family.
Not a bad deal.
“Okay, you’re off, right?” Ben asked as he came up and nodded at one of the customers before pulling a draft. “Go hang out with your girl. They’re all dancing in the corner, and I think the Connollys over there want you to play pool.”
“They just want me to kick their asses,” I said, winking.
“Don’t let Brendon hear you say that. He and Harmony still hold the record. I mean, it was only one tourney, but it’s still the record.”
“For now.”
“Yes, for now,” Aiden said as he came out with two plates of food in his hands. He set them down on the bar, nodded at Big Ben, and gestured for us to follow him.
“You know the only reason that Brendon and Harmony won that pool tournament is because Sienna and I weren’t there,” Aiden said, shaking his head.
I gave Dillon a look. He smirked, and then we both just shook our heads, holding back laughter.
Oh, we knew why the two of them hadn’t been at that final pool tournament round.
Aiden and Sienna had been doing something of their own.
Not that we’d mention that. Especially when everybody could hear us, and Sienna could probably kick my ass.
Okay, there was no probably about it. She would kick my ass. And Meadow wouldn’t like that.
Meadow.
I looked over at her, and she smiled, the warmth in her eyes pulling me in.
Damn. I was falling for her. I knew I shouldn’t. It wasn’t safe. But I was pretty sure I had already fallen. I’d probably started at the wedding. Maybe even before that.
I shouldn’t have danced with her. Shouldn’t have done so much.
“Okay, come on over,” Cameron said from the corner. “Pool table’s ours for the next hour. Let’s play.” He twirled his finger in the air, and Violet rolled her eyes before going and kissing her man on the mouth.
He grinned down at her and gripped her ass, and I shielded Dillon’s eyes, even as the kid laughed.
“Hey. There are sweet, innocent eyes over here. Don’t scar him.”
“Innocent?” Dillon asked, and I glared down at him.
“Excuse me, my baby brother is a perfect, lily-white virgin,” Brendon shouted, and the tips of Dillon’s ears turned red.
Either the kid was embarrassed about his brothers yelling, or Dillon actually was a virgin.
Considering that I had seen him with more than one girl over the time I’d known him, I had a feeling Dillon was no virgin.
However, having your brothers discuss your sex life—or lack thereof—really loudly in the bar that you visited almost daily probably wasn’t the best thing in the world.
“Please, stop,” Dillon grumbled.
“Oh, be nice,” Harmony said, wrapping her arms around Dillon.
“It’s kind of nice that he stays sweet and innocent.
I mean, it’s tough to find that these days.
Just know that you’re special to us. We love you.
” She kissed him on the brow, and I saw the laughter in her eyes even as everyone else actually broke out in fits of giggles and cheers.
Dillon narrowed his eyes at her, but he didn’t say anything. Nobody could ever be mean to Harmony.
She was sneaky like that. I liked it.
Meadow slid to my side, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “They sure do love teasing him,” Meadow said, and I shrugged, even as I pulled her closer.
“Yeah, but he gives as much as he gets. It’s kind of nice having a family that makes fun of each other and yet will always be there for one another.”
“I know. Sometimes, I’m a little jealous. They’re just so good for each other. You know?” I nodded but didn’t look down at her. I knew her old man. And that guy would never be there for her. For anyone. He only cared about his club and himself. And not in that order.
I knew he didn’t give a damn about his little girl. Hadn’t before, and sure as hell didn’t now. At least for more than what she could do for him.
And, honestly, I wasn’t even sure he cared about his old lady.
But that had to stay in the past. We needed to think about the present. And maybe the future.
As Meadow went quiet and introspective beside me, I knew she was thinking about her family as well.
We really weren’t very good at this. I needed to tell her. It wasn’t fair of me to keep these secrets.
I might lose her in the end by opening up, but lying to her wasn’t the answer.
I would tell her tomorrow. Telling her tonight while we were with friends would ruin the evening.
Maybe that was the coward’s way out, but I figured that telling her tomorrow would work.
It had to. I only hoped I didn’t ruin everything by doing it.
I hoped I didn’t lose it all when I opened up.
But this wasn’t about me. I needed to remember that.
I had made my choices, my own decisions.
And I wasn’t going to turn away from that. Not now. Not when I was starting to feel what I did for her. It wasn’t fair. Not to either of us. But mostly, not to her.
“Okay, now that we have completely embarrassed the kid—good job, family—it’s time to get going,” Aiden said as he looked over at his woman. “Watch while Sienna and I kick all of your asses.”
“That’s my man,” she said before taking a sip of her beer.
“The competition gets a little weird with all of you guys together,” I said.
“That is true.” Violet looked over at Dillon.
“I thought you were bringing one of your roommates to play.”
Dillon shook his head. “No, and I can’t stay either. Homework.”
“Well, I’m glad you were here for a bit. And I’m happy you’re putting your studies first.” She leaned down and kissed the top of Dillon’s head since he had taken one of the seats near the pool table.
She had started becoming almost motherly to him lately, and I had a feeling Dillon liked it, even if there wasn’t a huge age gap between any of them.
“Okay, then, I guess it’s just four teams. Two pool tables, four teams, let’s see who wins.”
Sienna clapped her hands, and our mini pool tournament started.
An hour later, my gut hurt from laughing, my pride stung from the fact that we were in fourth place, and all I could do was look at Meadow, who grinned.
“I’m not always bad at pool,” Meadow said. “Actually, I’m usually pretty good.”
“It probably doesn’t help that you guys are pinching each other’s asses while you’re playing,” Aiden said dryly.
“It’s true,” Sienna said. “We try not to distract each other with sex when we’re playing.”
“Really?” I said, deadpan. “Aren’t you the two that practically humped back there in the storage room?”
Sienna blushed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Beckham. I am utterly sweet and innocent.”
Everyone laughed so hard, I was pretty sure that Sienna was going to hit us all with her pool cue. But she didn’t.
Meadow had just set up her shot when a voice from behind us made me freeze. My balls shrank, my back turned to stone, and I swallowed hard. I hoped to hell it wasn’t who I thought it was. But I knew it was. I knew exactly who the fuck it was.
“Hey, what do we have here?”
No one else seemed to notice the tension in the air.
They didn’t know who was now in their midst. And why should they?
They didn’t know who I was at my core, and they sure as hell didn’t know where Meadow had come from.
They did not know these people. I’d hoped to hell they never would.
Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case.
I turned. There was no use hiding. There was no way I could run. They’d find me. They always did.