Chapter Eight #2
“I know. That’s not who I am now. But that’s who I used to be.
I grew up in the lifestyle. My dad was the president of an MC.
And I thought it was the most amazing thing ever because while there’re some TV shows and things that show MCs in a bad light with all the illegal crap and overdramatization, there are some beautiful clubs out there that give to charities and help with bullying and many amazing things.
They’re truly a family who do their best to make sure that the people in the club are taken care of.
And they give back.” I let out a shaky breath.
“When I was a little kid, that was ours. I don’t know when it all changed.
Maybe when I was about fourteen or so. But people needed money, and new blood came in.
They started doing things they shouldn’t.
They weren’t on the right side of the law anymore, and I knew there were drugs involved—only not as many as some other clubs.
” I let out a shaky breath, and the others looked at me.
“I’m sorry, Meadow,” Harmony whispered.
“Me, too. But that’s not the worst of it.
As I mentioned, I met a boy. From a rival club.
But it wasn’t much of a rivalry, it was just an MC that was close by.
Coby was the son of their president and wanted to be the vice president.
I didn’t really know much about it because it wasn’t the club I grew up in.
I fell for him hard. He was everything to me.
I thought he loved me. And he treated me like I was the princess that everyone thought I was. ”
The girls looked at me, and I was grateful that they didn’t say anything. It was hard enough getting this out as it was.
“My dad used to hit my mom. Not all the time, but enough that it scared me. But he’d always apologize, and they’d be fine afterwards.
My mom would slap me and hit me and make me feel like crap and force me to think about my body in ways I shouldn’t, especially as a way to get men.
And so, when Coby treated me like a princess, I fell for it all.
Then he hit me once, and then again, and I couldn’t get out.
The times I tried to leave, it was even worse. ”
“Oh, Meadow,” Violet said. She moved forward to sit next to me on the couch, and I was grateful. The girls sat next to each other on the loveseat, holding each other’s hands as they looked at me.
“Anyway, Coby and his club were even worse than my dad. They did so many horrible things. Mostly with drugs. And then I ratted them out.” I let out a shaky laugh.
“At least, I thought I did. Not completely, though. They didn’t need my testimony to put Coby behind bars because they had enough evidence without it.
They didn’t even need me to get into the house.
They didn’t care that I was broken and bleeding when they found me. ”
“Are you serious?” Sienna asked, rage in her voice. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know if that’s actually the truth,” I said quickly.
“They might’ve cared, I don’t know, but I was too hollow to process it.
And I didn’t tell them everything. There were things that they never needed to know.
All I knew was that the incident gave me the out I needed.
I left, and I didn’t turn back. But my parents have always known where I am and constantly try to get money from me.
That means anybody who blames me for what happened to Coby can find me. ”
I looked down at my hands.
“I didn’t know Beckham was part of it. He wasn’t in the club when I was there, but he knew my dad. He must have. He had to have known exactly who I was when we met.”
“And he didn’t say anything,” Sienna whispered.
“No. And it’s hard for me to completely blame him because I didn’t tell him about my past either. I did horrible things when I was younger. Not anything illegal, but I wasn’t who I am now. And I should have told him that. But he should’ve told me, too.”
Tears were falling down my cheeks at that point, and the girls gathered around me, holding me close.
“It looked like he was out,” Harmony whispered. “Maybe he didn’t tell you because he didn’t know how.”
“That’s no excuse,” Violet said.
“I know. I’m just afraid. Afraid of what will happen if I let him in again. Because I thought I was out. I guess I was wrong.”
Then the tears fell harder, and the girls simply held me.
I’d thought I was good at being boring. That was safe.
It’d kept me alive this long.
Alive.
But Beckham had been part of it all along, and I didn’t know how to feel about that, even if he was out of the life.
I’d fallen once, and it had broken me.
I couldn’t fall again.
I’d already paid that price.
This time, I was afraid it would cost even more.
“What are you going to do?” Sienna asked, and I shook my head.
“I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“Maybe he’s giving you space,” Harmony said.
“Maybe. But I don’t know what to say to him. He knew about my past.”
“It sounds to me like he has even more baggage than you do, or at least an equal amount,” Sienna lamented. “He got out. He wanted to put all of that behind him.”
“I can understand that. And while I probably should have mentioned who I was to him, especially considering how long we’ve been together, he definitely should have mentioned that he knew me.”
“Yes, he should have,” Violet said, nodding. “And when he explains why he didn’t, you can decide if you’re willing to take him back or not.”
“I can’t. I can’t take him back. What if the club finds him again?”
“I don’t know, honey. But you’re not alone now. You don’t have your family, the ones that claim they raised you, but you do have us.”
Harmony nodded tightly as she said it. “We are your family now. All of us. And no matter what, you can lean on us. I promise.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything. You are allowed to have secrets.
We won’t pry. And we’ll always be here for you—whenever you need us.
So, here we are. For always.” Violet kissed the top of my head.
“Now, maybe we should have that wine, and you can tell us more if you want. Or we can talk about nothing. I don’t mind either way.
Regardless, we’re not leaving you alone. We’re here. Always.”
I held on tight as the tears kept falling. I had a feeling that I was going to have to figure out exactly what to say to Beckham.
Because I knew more than anybody how hard it was to walk away from that life and try to pretend that you were normal.
But we had been brought together, and somehow, we needed to figure out what to do next.
Though I had a feeling that it wouldn’t end the way I thought.
But what I had with Beckham had to end.
I couldn’t do this again.
I couldn’t.