Chapter 11
“A RE YOU SERIOUSLY WEARING A BLAZER IN P UERTO R ICO?” Meri’s face gets bigger on my cell.
“Not all day. I took it off at lunch.”
“Oh, you took it off at lunch, thank goodness for that,” she says mockingly.
The light catches her face, and her eyes look puffy.
“Have you been crying?” My voice is tense with concern.
Things rarely get her down. It’s really impressive. She’s who you’d want by your side if you get bad news from the doctor. She’d squeeze your shoulders and say, “We’re going to beat this,” so unflinchingly, you’d believe her.
“No.”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
Meri lets out a moan and rolls onto her side. “Not really.” My stomach drops. “I cannot believe how expensive the tutor is.” She sounds miserable.
“Oh, don’t worry about that.”
“I can find someone else. I’ll ask around at school.”
“I’ve already paid for the sessions. It’s okay, I promise.”
“Well,” Meri says, dejected, “the first tutoring session was awful. I was awful.”
Now I’m the one moaning. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it will work out. You’re just figuring out her teaching methods. Give it a moment.”
“I was just hoping this time would be different. At the end of the session I totally expected her to say, ‘I’m so sorry but I can’t help you.’”
I don’t know what to say. I still can’t believe she’s taking the test again. I don’t know why she’s putting herself through this. She’s got it in her head she needs to get an actual BSN instead of an RN degree, but she never scores high enough.
She’s so bright. There’s just something about this test. It’s become a monster she can’t beat. In the meantime, she’s done nothing with her associate’s degree. And the pressure to pass this test only grows.
“I just… what if you spend all this money, and I still don’t pass?”
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
Meri laughs weakly.
“Just stick with it. It will get better.”
“Okay.” She seems somewhat convinced, even if I’m not. I was only trying to help by hiring the best tutor I could find. Someone my parents would never have been able to afford. But now I feel I’ve added more pressure on her.
“But I had volunteering tonight and that went great.” Her face brightens. “There were a few new moms and two of the counselors from the program. They were so freaking sweet.”
“Oh, good. I’m glad.” Meri’s been volunteering at a women’s shelter for a few years. She created this entire program where she gets the beauty company she works for to donate makeup for the shelter. She says it’s not about what other people see. It’s about helping people feel their best, so they can go out and conquer the world.
“Marisol wanted a new look for job interviews. She’s the one with the genius toddler who already knows how to ride a bike.”
“Oh yeah?”
“And, Dani, she cried when she looked in the mirror. And I had only done one eye.” Meri’s face has lit up.
“That’s amazing.” I pump a fist in the air. It’s always surprising to hear about my little sister’s interactions with people in the world. She was so shy as a teen, she couldn’t even order for herself. “Tell her I want the tacos,” she’d whisper in my ear as the waitress hovered next to us. “She’ll have the tacos,” I’d repeat casually.
“And you got this, okay,” I add. “Give the tutor another chance. If it doesn’t go well, we’ll get someone else.”
Meri opens and closes her eyes in agreement.
“Onward and…” I can’t think of how to finish the thought, which makes Meri laugh. “Don’t put it in reverse.”
“You are out of control. How’d it go today?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad?”
I nod silently.
“You’ll figure it out.”
“How’s Mom?” I ask, needing to change the subject.
Meri goes silent.
“Is she doing okay? I texted her a few times today, but she hasn’t responded. Can you put her on?”
“Um”—Meri hesitates for a moment—“I think she went to bed already.”
“All right.” I try to hide my concern.
“Listen.” Her tone makes my neck muscles tighten. “She found out about the plan for the big window when they were here today taking the measurements.”
“No,” I moan. “I completely forgot to tell her.”
“It’s okay. We talked when I got home. She’s fine now.”
A deep, exhausted sigh escapes me. “I should get going.”
“Wait. You know what I think?”
“What?”
“Dani, you should be focusing on yourself. Doing your thing.” She sits up and props the phone down on something. “Stop checking on us. We’ll be fine.”
Stop worrying about them? Why does that sound so unreasonable? “I’m not worried about you guys.”
Meri eyes me suspiciously. “Cut the cord,” she says coldly. “To us, the house. You know what you need?” she practically shouts, as though having a eureka moment.
“Please don’t say empow—”
“Empowerment selfies.”
Whenever she’s feeling down, this is what Meri does. She takes sexy selfies she doesn’t send to anyone. Empowerment selfies are my sister’s coping mechanism. Nothing brings her more confidence and vitality than a photo shoot of sexy selfies.
“No, thanks. Some other time I’ll try it, I swear.”
“You always say that, and you don’t. Trust me. Take a sexy picture of yourself in bed right now. You look good. I like your hair like that.”
“You like my hair poofy like this?” I’ve been trying to preserve the smooth, straight look Meri gave me before I left, but it’s been no match for a day and a half of being this close to the sea in a room without AC.
“It’s not poofy, it looks fantastic.” I flash her a half smile, so she continues. “It will help, I promise. You should be kicking ass like you normally do. Just try it; it’ll make you feel powerful.”
I promise her I will, and when we hang up, I let myself fall back onto the bed. I guess it’s worth a try. I do feel powerless at the moment. Over literally everything.
This island. Work. My debt. Meri’s test. Mom ignoring my calls because she found out about the windows. How lately, anytime I try to help, it backfires on me.
I grab the phone and turn on the camera function. I snap a bunch of photos of myself, turning my face to the left and right, puckering my lips. Looking dreamily off in the distance.
I click through the pictures, ready to receive my confidence boost. And instead, I snort. I look like a forlorn bank teller.
I sit up and slip off the blazer. I’m about to take more photos when I glance over at the balcony. The light from above kisses the potted plants and the wicker lounger, but there’s nothing except an empty void behind them. The dark sky makes the entire balcony look like it’s floating in space.
A pop of yellow would look so cool among all the brown. Without giving it another thought, I take off my shirt and jeans and dig out the lace lingerie that Meri snuck into my suitcase.
I check myself out in the mirror. The lace top makes me look bustier than I am, and the matching bottoms are a sexy French cut I would never have bought for myself. And Meri’s right about the hair. It does look good.
Setting up the cell phone takes longer than I expect. But I’m already feeling better.
I prop the phone up on a chair near the bed and reach the lounger, but the camera’s flash goes off when I’m on my knees and facing in the wrong direction.
I check out the image, and unattractive angle of buttocks aside, it’s really cool. The balcony is framed perfectly by the curtains, but I wish I had better resolution on the phone. For the first time in a long while, I wish I had my old camera.
Ready to try again, I hit the timer, make it to the lounger, and lie on my side. I direct myself as I wait for the photo to go off. Be wistful, like you’re on a magic carpet ride.
I throw one arm up over my head haphazardly, so it settles on the floor. I shut my eyes and tip my head back. I remain still waiting for the timer to go off. Nothing happens. I open one eye and then shut it. After another long while, I consider getting up to check the phone, but I’m convinced the flash will go off as soon as I move.
“Are you okay?” The deep voice is coming from somewhere above me.
I’m frozen for a split second as my brain tries to convince itself they could be talking to someone else. Then my legs coil into the air and I jump inside the room.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” There’s a cheekiness in his tone. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.”
My heart bangs on the walls of my chest. I’m not having a heart attack, but I wouldn’t rule it out yet. I wrap the curtain around me like a towel and peer out.
René “El Rico” Rodriguez is standing on the roof of the cottage next to mine. I thought there was nothing but a roof there, but now that it’s lit up, I can see it’s a rooftop garden. René’s leaning against the railing looking down onto my balcony. He’s wearing a long white robe and the wind is moving it around, exposing his bare chest and black shorts. He looks like a very unprofessional Jedi master.
“Hey, fine. I’m fine,” I do my best attempt at a wave while still holding the curtain around me, and I retreat back into the room. Mortified, I shut my eyes and stand against the wall.
“Let me know if you need help coming up with a caption,” he yells out.
“Excuse me?”
“For your selfie. If you need help with the text, just let me know. You know, for whoever it is you’re going to send that to.”
A nervous laugh escapes me. “A selfie? I thought you said you were worried I was dead.”
There’s a pause. “I was. I thought you were taking the selfie and then died. Or you fainted or something.”
I scoff. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“Don’t let me stop you. I can go inside.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say assertively.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
I feel heat flushing my cheeks. I open my mouth to defend myself, but I’m too embarrassed to say what I was really up to. Besides, he doesn’t need to know I’m an amateur photographer. Or I used to be.
The camera flash finally goes off, startling me. It lights up the balcony outside. I’m sure I hear him laugh as I dive for the phone, clutch it into my chest, and stand quietly against the wall again, unable to move.
“Still okay?” he says after a moment.
I can’t believe he’s still talking to me. “Yes.”
I lose my grip on the curtain and let out a yelp. I place a hand over my mouth, hoping he hasn’t heard me.
“You sure you’re okay in there?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Of course I’m fine,” I blurt out defensively. I can’t help it. I’m so wound up and in shock.
There’s silence. I actually think I may have scared him off.
“You don’t sound fine.”
My face goes hot. “Well, I am. I’m…” I almost say fine again. I’m breathing too fast to think. “Great. Really, thank you.”
“Just so you know”—his voice is slightly less obnoxious—“it was too dark for me to really see anything.”
“Okay. Um… I appreciate you clarifying that.”
“Do you believe me?”
“Should I?”
Silence. “I’m pretty trustworthy,” he says finally.
“ Pretty? As in not entirely?”
“No, as in ‘I’m pretty and I’m trustworthy.’” He laughs at his own joke as I roll my eyes and smile.
There’s a pause again. I’m standing against the wall looking into my room, but I can still see him there, in my mind’s eye, standing on the roof with his tan chest and white robe.
“Well, have a nice night,” I yell out, and rest my head back against the wall.
“You too,” he says after a beat. A few moments later, I hear the clang of a metal door.