16. Denver
Chapter 16
Denver
T he days pass in a blur of Ethan. Long dinners, days out on the island, evenings in bed watching movies and laughing until my stomach hurt.
We spend hours talking. About his life, his regrets, how he struggles, and deals with things the only way he’ll allow—work, boxing, more work. The lighter side of his life is his friends, and his eyes brighten when he talks about how he’d be lost without them. He tells me his dating failures, his last girlfriend who had dumped him the moment he got his three dogs (“Give me her name, I just want to talk,” I’d said.), and how he’d all but given up on women before a redhead had called him an asshole in the gym.
I tell him the parts of my life that aren’t so dark that they’ll ruin our days. How much I loved my parents, how Axel and I would make s’mores and share gossip, and what I want my life to be—as far away from Deluxe as possible.
Secrets and dreams I’d kept hidden from the harshness of reality pour free when I’m with him because Ethan makes them feel less… absurd. He makes them seem possible.
And the hope is terrifying.
Time flies faster. I fall harder. When our final night is upon us, we decide to have a last meal together with Ethan’s friends in the hotel.
“So.” Ethan has his arms around me, my back to his chest, as we walk down the hall. “Home.”
“Home,” I say.
“What happens?”
I press the button for the elevator. “Well, I get on this big metal thing called an airplane, and it flies me through the sky!” I say, and he laughs into my ear. “And then I land, and poof! Home.”
He turns me to him as the elevator arrives. “Avoidance, very cool.”
My smile is brittle, and my attempt at brightening it falls flat when I see the look in Ethan’s eye. “I’m sorry, but you know the answer to that question. I can’t be with you. He’ll hurt you.”
“Let him.”
“My life is far from normal, Ethan. The press will be desperate for anything they can get after Wyatt. They’re vultures. They’ll pull you apart.”
“ Let them ,” he insists. “I don’t care about any of that.”
I groan. “Stop being so persistent. It’s so hard to say no to you.”
He slaps his hand against the elevator doors before they close. He backs me inside. “Then don’t say no. Be with me.” He kisses me softly, the doors closing behind us, and I lace my arms around his neck, his hard body flush with mine.
“You can’t ask me to?—”
“I’m not asking,” he half-growls into my mouth, the feel and sound of him feral as he kisses me, stopping only to demand my affection. “I’m telling you to be with me.”
I should be strong. It’s a no, not just for me but for him. But he’s kissing me so beautifully and saying all these things…
“Ethan,” I whisper, his lips against my neck. “Please.”
“‘Please’ what?” He grips my ass, squeezing it. “Be specific.”
I laugh softly. “I hate you.”
“The feeling is mutual.” He grins, but it quickly fades, and he presses his forehead to mine. “You asked me not to let you push me away. You begged me not to let you end this.” The reminder has my chest tightening. “You know where I stand. I want you. So, take your time. I’d love to act aloof and say that I’m not gonna wait, but I will because you have a gold-star vagina, and I’d love to see it every day.” I laugh and hit his chest. “Seriously, I’m here. Just don’t forget about me, okay?”
“As if I could ever forget you, Big Dick.”
The elevator doors open to the rooftop restaurant, glowing with candlelight and lanterns. But it’s empty, with only the stars for company.
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
Ethan laces his fingers through mine. “It’s just us.”
I gape at him as he gently tugs me to a table for two and pulls out my chair. My stomach bursts with butterflies as I sit. “You did this? How?”
“I’m very convincing.” He winks as he sits across from me. “We also only have twenty minutes, so order fast.”
I laugh, and he grins, his handsome face lit up by candlelight.
From a potential scrap in the gym to this. The day I met Ethan, I’d have been satisfied with my fist in his jaw, and now I can’t imagine waking up tomorrow without him next to me.
Fuck, how have I let this happen? How has he settled himself so deeply in my life that removing him feels as simple as removing my heart?
I stare at the menu, and tears blur my eyes, but before they fall, Ethan’s hand covers mine.
When I meet his gaze, his eyes shine, too. This is a goodbye. A beautiful one, but still a goodbye, and I hate it. I have no clue what Ethan and I could be, if anything, but I’m being robbed of the opportunity to find out.
He squeezes my hand. “Let’s treat it like any other night.”
I nod, forcing a smile, and when he kisses my knuckles, I savor the feeling, the moment, and our last night together.