Chapter 13
Felix didn’t need to be told twice. He opened his fist, wiggled his fingers, and allowed his arm to relax. He reached for Jo. Adorable Jo. Beautiful Jo. Nerdy, creative, funny, thoughtful Jo. Who wanted him to kiss her. Who admitted to wanting a lot more than that. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her face angled up toward him.
He hooked his fingers under the strap of her purse and gently tugged. Jo’s brows knit together, and she blinked her eyes open.
“If we’re going to do this,” he murmured, “we’re going to do it right. You’re not going to be clinging to your purse when you could be touching me instead.”
He tugged again, and she let go.
“That’s my girl, Jo,” he said, each word precise.
She whimpered and bit her lip. Oh, fuck, he needed to make that sound come out of her again. He pulled her purse off her shoulder and leaned over to set it on the dresser nearby. Jo’s eyes followed him.
Felix took his time. He was going to savor this moment. Make her savor it too. He palmed the sides of Jo’s waist under that damn denim jacket, right where her leggings met her cropped blue shirt with an illustration of a cat on its back, playing with a giant d20 as if it were a ball of yarn.
When his hands made contact, she gasped in a breath that threatened to unravel his control. Hot, heavy need flooded his body, firming his cock and urging his pulse faster. His hands slid to her back. His fingers moved under the edge of her shirt, grazing skin and the band of her bra. He fingered the clasps and slipped underneath them. She was warm, warmer than his hands. Smooth and soft. He drank in the sight of the midriff he’d revealed by hiking up the back of her shirt. He would taste her there next, after he kissed her. He’d drop to his knees and roll down her leggings. Kiss her ivory skin all the way down to her pussy. Bite into the meat of her exquisite hips. Perhaps that would make her whimper again. He licked his lips in anticipation.
He slid a longing gaze back up, over her breasts and collarbone and throat and jaw and lips and cheeks and eyes. He resisted the desire to pull Jo against his body. She would feel so good, so fucking good, against his erection, but he wanted her mouth first. Wanted to let the sensations of her body and his together ramp up gradually. In order. Hands first, then lips, then tongues, then… everything.
“Felix, please,” Jo whispered when his eyes found hers again. Her face was still angled up at him, desperation evident in every pore.
He smiled down at her. “Do you want to touch me too?”
“Yes.”
“Then do it.”
Jo swallowed. Moving as slowly and carefully as he had, she rested her hands on his shoulders. Her fingers tightened. Awestruck eyes darted from left to right as she beheld the muscles he’d toned over so many years. It was worth it. Every morning that he woke up sore, every wrist sprain, every time he pushed himself a little harder, every dollar he spent on coaches when he was a beginner. It was all worth it to see the way Jo’s eyes grew even rounder and needier. She looked at his body like it was a gift she got to unwrap, something she’d always wanted but never dared to ask for.
Then her gaze returned to his face, studying him, and her fingers skated up his shoulders. She skimmed the sides of his neck, and he groaned as goosebumps skittered over his skin.
“Fuck, Jo,” he whispered. “Do that again.”
She grinned and put her hands back on his shoulders. She ran her fingertips even more lightly over him, the sweetest tickle up the sides of his neck. He shivered and threw his head back and moaned.
“How?” he asked the ceiling. “How does that simple touch feel so good, Jo? How are you doing this to me?”
Her fingers touched his chin next, drawing his head forward.
“I like your stubble,” she said. “I’ve always liked it. Since the first day I saw you, sitting next to that ridiculous stack of MnM books. Especially this part.” She grazed her index finger over the patch of gray on his chin.
“You like my grays?” Felix asked. No one had ever told him that before. Not that he’d been gray for very long, but the women he’d been with usually liked his thick, night-black hair over the gray on his chin. Leave it to Jo, whose mind worked in mysterious ways, to pick that part of his body to compliment first.
“What can I say? I’m an old lady.”
“And I’m an old man who wants to kiss you before he shuffles off this mortal coil.”
“You could have kissed me at any point up to now,” she said with deliberate laziness. Her finger continued to play with his stubble while her other hand rested on his cheek. “You’re the one who told me to touch you first. So I’m touching you first.”
“Let me know when you’re done then,” he said. “I’ll be right here.”
“Will do.”
Fuck.If he’d known Jo was this much of a goddamn tease, maybe he would have moved a little faster. He gripped her back tighter, digging the pads of his fingers into her skin. She bit her lower lip, and those pale eyes with their dark flecks rolled back in pleasure. God, they hadn’t even kissed yet, hadn’t even taken any clothes off, and already they were falling apart under one -another’s hands.
“Almost,” she promised. She dragged the backs of her nails over his stubble, from his chin to his temples. Prickles of electricity cascaded down his entire body.
“Oh my God,” Felix breathed. “You’re going to kill me, woman.”
“Mm-hmm,” Jo hummed in agreement. She eased her fingers into his hair above his ears and leisurely passed her eyes over his dark waves. “Soft,” she murmured. “Silky.”
Her eyes locked onto his, no longer lazy, no longer teasing and coy. He didn’t make her ask again. He closed his mouth over hers. Jo let out a shuddering, open-mouthed moan. Their lips had barely touched and already she was inviting him in. How could he refuse such an invitation? He smelled chocolate on her breath, tasted it on her tongue. She returned that sweet pressure against his tongue and whimpered into his mouth.
There it is.
Her hands tightened in his hair, tugging, drawing him closer. Felix responded by pulling her roughly against his body. A surprised little “oh!” slipped out of Jo when his cock dug into her belly. And fuck if he wasn’t right. She felt so good—shifting, friction, soft against hard. He tucked his hand into the high waistband of her leggings, lowered it to the small of her back. He could feel the edge of her panties, and he flicked it with his middle finger. Jo tensed ever so slightly in his arms, and Felix couldn’t tell if it was from desire or reticence.
He withdrew from her lips and nudged her nose with his. “Tell me,” he said, panting. “Tell me what you want tonight. Like I said before. However you want to be touched, for however long you want. All you have to do is ask, Jo.”
A heavy pause.
“I don’t—I don’t know,” she said. She bumped his nose, but only because she was shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Felix. I don’t know.”
Felix exhaled and pressed his cheek against hers, angling to avoid her glasses. He couldn’t let her see his disappointment. He wouldn’t put that on her. He squeezed his eyes shut and calmed his body down with long, even breaths. He withdrew his hand from her leggings and held onto her hips.
Her grip had shifted too. Her hands weren’t in his hair anymore. They were holding onto the back of his neck as if he were an anchor in a stormy sea.
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“But—”
“No.” He stepped back so he could see her. His heart nearly broke when he saw the tears in her eyes. “No ‘buts.’ However you want, for however long you want, right? If we’ve reached the end of ‘however long’ tonight, that’s your call.”
“You’re—I—I made you—” She looked down, where his pajama pants were doing fuck-all to hide his raging hard-on. “I should help you—”
“Jo, oh my God, stop. Please.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. “Of course I was turned on by the way you touched me. That doesn’t mean you owe me more than you want to give. I’m an old man, remember?” He offered her a small smile, trying to diffuse whatever the hell they had walked into. “I’ve been here before, and I can handle myself.”
A sudden snort of laughter burst out of her. “I bet you can.”
He chuckled and shifted to hold her shoulders. “That’s not how I meant it, but I could do that, if need be. Three showers in one day, why not?”
Jo closed her eyes. She slid her hands to his chest, her fingers dancing over his muscles. “Please don’t think this means I don’t want you, Felix. I just—”
“You don’t have to—”
“Wait, I need to say this.”
Instantly cowed, he said, “I’m sorry. Please continue.”
Eyes still closed, she furrowed her brow and said, “I haven’t been with anyone since my ex. It’s strange to be intimate with someone again. Someone new. I… I need a little more time.” She opened her eyes. “Is that okay?”
Oh, God. She has to ask?
“Yes, Jo. Of course, it’s okay. Don’t rush yourself. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”
She tapped her index finger, its nail painted Indi-Con green, against his chest. She was looking at it rather than him. “Felix?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you kiss me again? Without all the buildup. Just kiss me?”
He took her chin between his thumb and his knuckle and gently tilted her head back. He paused for a second or two, letting some anticipation build. That was half the fun of kissing, after all; the breaths right before it, the moments of knowing it was about to happen.
Felix kissed Jo. Tenderly, sweetly, earnestly. Jo kissed him back. Warmly, solidly, affectionately.
After, he touched his forehead to hers, and they breathed together. His body was calmer now. The discomfort was waning, his blood flow returning to status quo.
“It might be best to sleep in separate beds tonight,” he said.
“I think you’re right,” she replied. “And on that note, I should get ready for bed. Tomorrow’s a long day.”
“Oh, right,” Felix said. “There’s a gaming convention or some such across the street.”
“That is why we’re here,” she chuckled.
“I thought this was all some nefarious plan to get me into a hotel room with you,” he teased. “Tell it to me straight, Jo. Did you sabotage my booking?”
She gasped in mock outrage and shoved lightly at his chest. “I’m no rogue!”
“No, you’re…” he thought for a moment, recalling what he knew about the different MnM archetypes. “I bet you’re a cleric, aren’t you? A healer, of course, and you’re always looking out for people, offering support and going above and beyond in that support.”
Jo blinked at him behind her glasses. “Yeah, that’s right.”
“Hot damn!” He pumped his fist into the air. “I’m learning.”
In the morning, Jo’s alarm went off before Felix’s. She quickly silenced it. He stirred in the bed next to hers but didn’t wake up. Jo watched him as he slept. He lay on his side, facing her, fuzzy to her naked eyes. Both arms were wrapped around one end of his pillow, which he held lengthwise against his chest as his head rested on the other end. His lips were parted, and disheveled locks of hair flopped over his forehead. Since he hadn’t shaved the day before, his beard was the longest she’d ever seen it.
She felt like sighing a contented sigh, so she did. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone made her feel the way Felix did. Maybe no one ever had. Being in his arms had felt so different from what she was used to that it had overwhelmed her, made her hesitate. Part of her couldn’t quite believe that she hadn’t fucked everything up. That he’d stopped at her slightest hint of uncertainty. That he hadn’t said,“At least get me off first, baby.”
Stealthily, Jo got up, grabbed her clothes and toiletries, and took them into the bathroom. In the shower, she let her mind wander over everything that had happened in the last twenty--four hours. By the time she was toweled off and in her underwear, she’d made a decision. She hadn’t brought her phone in with her, and her hands itched to text Aida and get confirmation that this was the right next step. But she didn’t actually need to. Aida had already confirmed it, with an unbreakable pinky promise.
Whatever choice you make, I promise I trust you to make the right one. For you.
“For me,” Jo whispered into the mirror and finished getting dressed.
She heard Felix’s alarm go off, followed by the thump of heavy footsteps. Jo called that she’d be right out and received a grunt in response. Steam poured out of the bathroom as she emerged. A drowsy, tousled, downright adorable Felix blinked at her.
“Morning,” she said.
He grunted again as he dug through his duffel bag.
“You want me to go get you some coffee?” she offered with a grin.
“Hero’s calling. Answered,” he muttered as he pointed at her. He stumbled into the bathroom without another word, and the shower came on.
She flipped her head upside down and quickly blow dried her hair, waiting to curl it and do her makeup until she returned from her quest. Down in the lobby’s continental breakfast nook, she filled two to-go containers with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, muffins, mini croissants, and mixed fruit that was mostly underripe chunks of white-green honeydew. She tossed two yogurts on top, then closed the lids and moved on to the coffee bar.
“Mojo!”
Jo grinned to herself. “Beefcake!”
From behind, Trey kissed her hair. She heard him smack his lips and turned to see a vaguely grossed-out look on his face. “Mmm, fruity.”
“Shut up, at least I showered,” she fired back.
Trey fell in beside her with a playful bump of his elbow. His locs were pulled back into a thick ponytail at the base of his skull today, and he wore a hunter green T-shirt with a stylized MnM logo. They made their coffees, and Jo dug through the bowl of mini creamers until she found a few vanilla ones.
“Felix joining us today?” Trey asked, a bit too casually.
“That’s the idea,” she replied.
He picked up his coffee and took a sip. He made a face.
“What? Too fruity?” Jo asked.
“If only.” He added more cream and sugar. “Aida told me why he didn’t join us last night.”
She blushed. “Actually, I was wrong about that. Kind of. It’s… we worked it out.”
“Yeah?” Trey asked, giving her a hopeful look.
She nodded.
“I’m glad. You know I’ll beat his ass if he messes you around, right?”
Jo unleashed a loud laugh and patted Trey on the shoulder. “Oh, beefcake. I would love to see you try.”
The elevator dropped Trey off on the fifth floor, and he got out with a wave and a promise to see her soon. The whole group was meeting in the lobby at eight-thirty to walk over to the con, where the games kicked off at nine o’clock sharp.
On her floor, Jo jostled the to-go containers and coffee cups but found she couldn’t manage them and the keycard at the same time. She kicked her door twice.
“You out of the shower yet?” she called. “Can you get the door?”
“Yeah, hang on,” Felix called back.
When the door opened, she almost dropped everything she was carrying. Felix had one hand on the doorknob, and the other was busy pulling a burgundy waffle-knit Henley shirt over his torso. She got only a glimpse of his abs and the trail of black hair that ran down their center, but that was more than enough to send her reeling.
“Jesus Christ,” she said out loud.
Felix, freshly shaved and grinning, winked at her. Vain bastard knew exactly what he was doing. He held the door with his hip and took the coffees from her. Jo told him which cup was his and offered him first pick of the assortment of breakfast foods as they set everything on the desk in the corner.
“Thank you for getting this,” Felix said. He bent as if he were going to kiss her. Then froze.
“I wanted to talk about that,” she said breathily. It was getting harder and harder not to be breathless around Felix. Especially when he did things like that.
“I’m all ears,” he said. “Can we talk while we eat so we’re not late?”
Jo agreed. Felix ripped off the top of one of the to-go boxes and used it as a plate, picking and choosing food from both. Including the cherry yogurt, damn him. Jo, stuck with the inferior peach yogurt, made a plate for herself and sat in the desk chair. Felix settled in the armchair in the opposite corner.
“I realized,” she began, “that I never really responded to some of the non-sex things you said last night.”
“The non-sex things?” he repeated and sipped his coffee. “Hey, you got me vanilla! Thanks.”
“Not as good as Lita’s, of course.”
“Still good,” he said with another sip. “Sorry, please go on.”
She stared down at her makeshift plate, too nervous to start eating. “I mean the part about you caring for me and having feelings for me,” she continued slowly. “You said ‘everything I want to have with you.’ Maybe we should talk about what that means?”
Felix swallowed his bacon and regarded her seriously. “It means I want to be with you, Jo. Not just have sex with you. I want more than that. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I want all of it.”
Jo’s heart was lodged in her throat, making it very difficult to speak. How inconvenient. She pushed the words out anyway, expressing what she’d resolved in the shower to tell him. “I want that too, Felix. I want all of it.”
He was on his feet and across the room before she could say another word. He dropped his plate onto the desk and gripped the arms of her chair, caging her in. And there she was, breathless once again. He hovered over her, and they stared at each other.
Not a hesitation, but a confirmation. A shared are we really doing this?
And then the answer.
Yes.
He kissed her, hard. His lips were smoky and greasy from the bacon, and she flicked her tongue out for a taste. Felix groaned and opened his mouth for her. She snaked one hand into his damp hair, held on tight, and devoured him.
He dragged her chair closer to himself, and her knees brushed the insides of his thighs. He was practically straddling her. Suddenly, he wrenched himself away from her lips, panting.
“Fucking hell, Jo, you drive me wild.” He grinned wickedly. “I have to stop, or we will be late.”
Despite his words, he leaned in to kiss her again. Their lips met, light and sweet, and then he withdrew. He nodded resolutely, as if he’d proven to himself that he could kiss her without tumbling over the edge into sheer, unrelenting desire.
Maybe he needed a bit more evidence.
Jo gave his head a gentle nudge closer. He made a feeble sound of protest but fell forward against her lips once more. She kept the kiss chaste—she wasn’t a monster, after all—and released him.
“I guess you’re my boyfriend now?” she said.
“Only if you’re my girlfriend now.”
Jo shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Yeah, okay.”
He let out a high-pitched laugh, echoing the joy that ricocheted inside her, made her want to leap into the air and never come down. He pecked her on the cheek and returned to his seat with his breakfast.
“All right, GM Jo,” he said as he scooped up some eggs. “It’s game time. Remind me what to expect today.”
Jo
Since I know you’ll want to know first
We didn’t fuck, but we kissed and we talked and we decided to be together for realsies
And I’m so happy
Aida
YES YES YES YES YES
Jo
Hi, just a heads up. Felix and I are a couple now. As of this morning. Like, 10 mins ago. Be cool and don’t make it weird, ya weirdos. See you soon.
Kim
I knew it!!!
Max
who?
David
Tornado guy
Max
oh yeah
nice
Heather
Someone make sure Aida tells Trey!
Aida
Already did
Young
Happy for you, Jo.
Kim
Me too!!!!!!
This is so exciting!
OMG, he’s even hotter than he was yesterday!
Way to go, Jo!!!
Young
Kim, we’re all together now. You don’t have to keep texting the group.
Kim
You want me to say he’s hot out loud?
Max
yes
Heather
Yes
Young
Kinda?
Jo
No
Aida
I’ll do it if you don’t