Chapter 28
I’ve always enjoyed living in Australia, where, growing up, almost everyone around me owned a swimming pool. Every summer, days were filled with water and sun and the delighted squeals of my friends and me.
My favourite game as a twelve-year-old was sinking to the bottom and seeing how long I could stay there. I liked lying down or sitting cross-legged, a submerged yogi, and it was actually harder than simply holding my breath, because I had to expel all my air so I didn’t keep floating back up again. My capacity for Buteyko breathing became pretty damn good—although I had no idea what it was called at the time.
My experiments with reduced breathing gained a fair bit of notoriety among the neighbourhood parents, who would flip out, thinking I’d actually drowned. I was ‘saved’ about four or five times by worried grownups before my mum banned me from lying on the bottom of other people’s pools—which only inspired me to do it more.
As an adult, I’d been unconsciously practicing my breathing whenever I was surrounded by water, even since being on the island; I’d taken great delight in staying under longer than Nik in the ocean when snorkelling with the dolphins. But my favourite moment was sinking to the rocky bottom of the hot springs and sitting with my backside pressed against the scalding stones while Chris swam around me, trying to break my attention.
That was why I was so glad when Chris popped into my head as I flailed and kicked, pinned underwater by a manic. I could see Chris’ magic blue eyes, floating in front of me, and I calmed down. You can do this. Relax.
Conjuring an iron will, I forced myself to go limp. I expelled out a stream of bubbles and let my eyes roll up, half closed and concentrated on keeping everything soft and still. I’m just lying on the bottom of the pool, Chris by my side. I’m happy, I’m content, I’m blissfully peaceful.
Knowing how deceptive time can be, I began to count. One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand … My record was over a minute and a half, but I’d already been under for at least fifteen seconds, so I prayed Dante wouldn’t wait that long. His fingers loosened on my throat slightly, a good sign he was buying my possum act.
While I marked the time, I pictured Chris: his lazy smile and tanned chest, his strong arms reaching for me. My pulse began to slow and the panic dissipated. Suspended, my mind bobbed away on an ocean of good thoughts.
As my counting passed forty-five, Dante pulled my floppy form up from the water. Deliberately acting unconscious, I let myself remain heavy and lifeless in his arms, drawing a steady breath in without moving my chest. The oxygen flooded my system along with adrenaline and I was ready for war. This time, though, it would be on my terms.
Dante slapped me across the cheek and my head snapped bonelessly from the blow, but still I didn’t move. His voice was sinister as he said, ‘So much more willing now, my Bella. Dante will make a woman out of you. Prepare for the might of my cazzo! ’
He cackled and dragged me by the armpits to the dry sand. Wait for it … wait for it… Although my body was loose, inside I was coiled and ready to spring. I cracked my eyes open and peeped at Dante through my lashes as he lowered his pants, then leaned over my body.
‘Be glad you’re not breathing, little stracciamanici, because I’m going to make sure this hurts you a lot …’
Crack! I slammed my head forward into his, striking him right between the eyes. Yelping, he fell sideways, his legs pinned across mine. He tried to rear back onto me, so I used a punch I’d learned from Toshi and drove my knuckles into his sternum.
‘Tara? Tara! ’ Chris’ frantic voice echoed down the beach, but I was past comprehension as Dante and I rolled across the sand, locked in mortal battle. I pushed my thumb into his eye socket and flipped him onto his back using a hank of his hair, finally gaining the upper hand.
As he whimpered in agony, I drove my knee into his crotch with a powerful blow, my entire body weight behind it. Dante howled, broken, bleeding and incapacitated, and I stood over his wretched form, victorious.
‘Tara!’ I looked up the beach to see Chris sprinting across the sand towards me. I must have looked like the walking dead: dripping with water, my dress torn, my neck bruised and my cheek raw red. Still, I was happy to see the cameras tagging after Chris. Behind them, all the other contestants and crew raced down to see what was happening.
Chris reached my side and wrapped me in his arms. He was crying freely, unashamed. ‘Babe! Talk to me! Are you okay?’ He stroked my hair and scooped me up in his arms, carrying me away from the crumpled would-be murderer and rapist still moaning on the sand. ‘Greg raised the alarm; he saw you guys on a fixed camera facing the beach.’ Chris’ voice broke. ‘He said Dante drowned you. I thought I’d lost you.’
‘I’m okay. I’m okay.’ I was back in the arms of the man I loved. Nothing could hurt me anymore.
‘I love you, babe.’
‘I love you too.’
Chris peppered my face with kisses, distracting me from the security guards who had arrived. They swiftly surrounded the mewling Dante and cuffed him using cable ties while everybody watching clapped.
‘Well, this is all very exciting, isn’t it?’ Maxine stepped between the other competitors. Even navigating soft sand, she still carried herself with haughty poise. ‘What a happy ending. Our viewers will simply adore it. It’s only a shame that you two must be disqualified from the competition as well.’
‘What?’ A cry of outrage sparked from the other contestants. Chris shook his head, confused, while I could only stare silently at Maxine and her crocodile smile.
‘Well, both of you were on your final strike. Chris, by picking Tara up, you violated your last chance, and hers. Now, you’re both out of the running for your million-dollar prizes.’ She grimaced. ‘It’s so bitter-sweet, don’t you think?’
Clara stomped forward, getting right in Maxine’s face. ‘This is fucking bullshit, you evil English wench, and everybody here knows it!’
Dante laughed hysterically as the security guards dragged him away. ‘Dante wins! He is the winner after all! Farewell, Bella! Think of me every time you look in your vuoto account!’
I twisted my head into Chris’ shoulder. ‘I don’t care,’ I whispered in his ear. ‘I’m alive and I have you.’
‘This isn’t right,’ Chris said. ‘They’ve been allowing Dante to terrorise you since we got here, he almost kills you, and now they’re booting you off? This isn’t right!’
Maxine smirked, pushing Clara away. ‘The rules are the rules. Everybody else has managed to obey them. You two are alone.’
‘No, they are not.’ Jen stepped forward, like a proud African queen, her face furious. ‘I have one strike left, and I choose to use it now.’
She walked over to Chris and me. She placed both hands on Chris’ cheeks, then kissed him on the forehead. ‘I support these two. If they are out of the competition, I am also.’
A moment of shocked silence hung in the air. Then Henry ran over to Jen. She kept her arm around Chris’ waist while Henry swept her up in a hug. ‘I support Chris and Tara!’ he cried. ‘We are all out!’
‘Me too, you crazy fuckers!’ Clara dashed across and jumped on Henry’s back, another link in our growing human chain. ‘Fuck you, Maxine!’
Toshi was next, taking the opportunity to kiss Clara deeply, while Megs reached for his hand. Nik and Callum flanked her on both sides as Pauline and Chase joined Chris and me. The twins and the threesome and the rest ran over as well, and all nineteen of us joined together in a circle of love, cuddling, kissing, holding and embracing.
The cameras zoomed around, capturing our act of connected defiance, while I sobbed, so proud to be a part of the moment.
Maxine stood with her arms crossed and her face pinched. ‘Right. Well played,’ she conceded. ‘As I’m sure you’ve worked out, I can’t disqualify you all, or there will be no show, and our viewers will be most disappointed. So, in order to keep them happy—and not you people—Chris and Tara will be reinstated in the competition.’
Everyone cheered, our whole group jumping up and down en masse. An impromptu version of ‘We are the Champions’ was sung, while Lars ran to Maxine, dragging her into our happy circle.
‘Oh, honestly,’ she said, crossly, but I swear there was a hint of a smile in her words as we danced around her. ‘Alright, that’s enough. It’s been quite a night. You can all have ten minutes before the touch restrictions are reinstated; enough time to settle down, not enough for any copulation.’
‘Wanna fucking bet?’ squealed Clara, grabbing Toshi by the wrist and dragging him down the beach.
Chris still had me safe in the circle of his arms. ‘I’m not leaving her tonight,’ he told Maxine, in a voice you wouldn’t want to argue with.
‘Do as you please. Just keep your hands to yourselves,’ she said, striding away.
With the crisis over, exhaustion snared me, dragging me towards unconsciousness. Chris walked us up the beach and towards my room, murmuring words of comfort in my ear and kissing my hair.
Back in my bathroom, Chris ran me a purifying bath, scenting the water with cleansing oils. I allowed him to strip me down and place me in the suds. He checked his watch. ‘You’ll have to climb out yourself. We’ve got about a minute left, and I don’t think Maxine will be as forgiving a second time.’
I reached for his hand. Chris kissed my fingers while I said sleepily, ‘You’re never allowed to leave my side again. Every time you do, bad things happen.’
‘I’ll be here all night, and with you tomorrow, and I’ll follow you home and trail around after you like a puppy dog for as long as you let me.’ I closed my eyes and let his soothing words wash over me. ‘But, right now, the only thing you need to know is that I will always keep you right here …’
He brought my hand to his chest and used my finger to draw a T over his heart.
***
Transcript of Tara M’s video diary: Day 21
This morning, I woke up and stretched, in that lazy, semi-sleep state where nothing seems real. Suddenly, a thousand images slammed through my brain: obese men, jet skis, being held underwater, the fantasy cabin …
I sat bolt upright. ‘Oh god! Today’s the last day!’
Movement from the other side of the bed made me shriek. ‘It’s okay! It’s just me!’ Chris looked like a sleep-rumpled, scrumptious mess, with his hair fluffy and his eyes blurry.
Amused by his appearance, I grinned at him. ‘You slept beside me and didn’t touch me?’
‘After tonight, that’s never going to happen again.’ He eyed me like a piece of sexy meat he wanted to devour. ‘You should know, I like to be the big spoon.’
‘That works for me,’ I said, licking my lips as the sheet slipped down and revealed his shirtless chest. Trying to drag my mind out of the gutter and away from all the naughty things I wanted to do to him, I addressed Chris seriously. ‘Do you think we can actually talk now?’
‘Do you feel up to it?’ Chris eyed me carefully. ‘How does your neck feel? Are you sore?’
Experimentally, I leaned my head from side to side. ‘It’s good.’
‘It’s pretty bruised,’ Chris said, dark clouds gathering in his expression. ‘What I wouldn’t give to hold that coward underwater for a while, see how he likes it.’
‘Let him go,’ I said. ‘Dante only wins now if we let him ruin our moods. I definitely don’t want him brought into my bed first thing in the morning.’
Chris took a deep breath. ‘You’re right.’
‘I’m always right.’
‘Hmm … sure …’
I whacked him with a pillow. ‘Be serious! Okay, I wanted to say, straight up, I’m sorry. I was mad because you didn’t believe me about the Henry thing, and because you didn’t trust me enough to tell me you were rich, and because I thought you had run straight back to Aanya. I’m really bad at letting people in, because I feel like I deserve bad things, so when something good happens, I fight it.’
He shook his head sadly. ‘I’m sorry too. I knew that Henry footage was edited, and he spoke to me about it afterwards. It still stung though. And you were right to be mad about the money thing. It’s just … money is a great tool, and I’m glad I have enough cash to look after myself and my family, plus help others who need it. But you just never know who likes you for you.’
‘Poor little rich boy,’ I teased, smiling.
‘You’re right. It’s a total first world problem, but it’s been getting worse. I’ve been looking for the right woman for years, and I keep finding girls who just like the idea of dating a millionaire.’ His blue eyes lightened as they settled on me. ‘I finally found someone who loved me, even when she thought I was a coffee maker. I guess I just wanted to hold onto that for as long as I could.’
The next question was harder. ‘So … if you have money, why didn’t you offer to pay for me not to go in the cabin, the way Henry did?’
Chris raised an eyebrow. ‘Would you have accepted?’
‘No. I need to do this on my own. I want to earn this prize, not be dependent on anyone else.’
‘That’s why. I knew you would shut me down, and I didn’t want to give you more grief over something you were already stressed about.’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you, too.’
There was a knock at the door, and an envelope slid though the gap at the bottom and onto the mat.
‘That’s my prize from the jet-ski challenge,’ I said, leaping off the bed and launching myself at the little rectangle. Eagerly, I ripped the paper and examined the card inside. ‘Oh … oh. ’
Chris pushed out of the sheets, the morning sun silhouetting his glorious physique as he asked, ‘So? Who does it say?’
***
A few hours later, Chris graciously vacated the room for an hour or so, while I entertained a few guests. First up, Jen dropped by.
After settling on the outdoor couches facing over the jungle and out to sea, I said, ‘Jen, I have to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for what you did last night. You were the catalyst, and you saved Chris and me.’
She waved away my praise. ‘I do not deserve your thanks. I am the one who must beg your forgiveness. Tara, I am so sorry.’ She slipped onto her knees in abject apology. ‘You have stood by me, donated your winnings to me and loved me like a sister. In return, I shunned you and threw your kindness back in your face. I am ashamed of myself.’
My empathy rushed out to her. I reached for her hands and pulled her onto the couch beside me. ‘It’s okay, really. I just wish you would tell me why, that’s all.’
I didn’t think someone with skin as dark as Jen could show blushing, but her luminous skin heated burgundy across her neck and cheeks. ‘I am embarrassed to admit … it is because of a man.’
‘Henry?’ I ventured.
Jen gasped. ‘How did you know?’
‘I feel stupid I didn’t realise earlier.’ All the signs were staring me in the face: not just Jen’s attitude to the video reveal, but Henry’s talk of loving someone so different, and Jen’s question about how I felt towards him. ‘If I wasn’t so self-absorbed, I would have worked it out ages ago.’
‘I have never felt this way about another man before! I think love has made me crazy. With my condition, I’ve always enjoyed different men, as often as possible. But now, I only want Henry. Forever. I would give anything to stay by his side.’
‘Jen, you know there’s nothing between us anymore, right?’ I reached for her hand.
‘I do know that now. Henry explained the situation to me, and I can see the love between you and Chris. That is why I had to make it up to you and punish your enemy.’
Her mischievous expression had me curious. ‘Jen … what did you do?’
‘I gave you a gift. I had only used a single strike on Henry, so I stalked Dante for the last few days until he fell asleep sunbathing.’
‘You took him out of the competition?’
She nodded, proud. ‘I did. I hope you liked your present?’
‘It’s just what I always wanted,’ I quipped, hugging her tightly.
***
Henry was next. In his royal blue tee and black jeans, he sat uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa. ‘Righto, Tara, I have something to tell you. And I should have told you days ago, and it’s not that I’m embarrassed, I’ve just been processing, and now, I’ve made my choice, you see, so, um … I want you to know that I’m one hundred per cent in love with Jendayi and I wish to spend the rest of my days with her. So. I hope that’s alright.’
I shrugged, trying to bite back a smile. ‘I already knew. And I think it’s awesome.’
‘You do?’ Henry’s face widened in delight. ‘Oh, that’s wonderful! Oh, Tara, she’s just the most unique creature I’ve ever met, and once I let myself fall for her, it’s like bungy jumping and knowing you’ll never hit the ground.’
‘Tell me how it happened.’ I rearranged the colourful cushions around me, wanting to be comfy for the story.
Henry smiled dreamily. ‘Well, we had our date, and Jen asked if she could kiss me, which was forward and wonderful. Then, after the cyclone, I brought her back to my room and we spent the aftermath together. She was quite upset by the footage of me proposing my idea to you, and didn’t allow me to speak to her for several days, but now we’re back on strong ground.’
‘What do you think the press back home will make of her? And your family?’
‘I don’t give a damn.’ Henry stood, defiant. ‘She is my princess, and I will give up everything to be with her.’
‘Good.’ I was smiling, but the serious part was coming. ‘Henry … did you read your envelope yet?’
His expression drooped. ‘Ah, yes. That ghastly thing. Tara … I know we can’t discuss things properly, but I want you to know, if I had been, or if I do go, inside that cabin, I would always conduct myself like a gentleman. I would make sure the lady didn’t feel uncomfortable, and I would try and make the process as quick and painless as possible. Unless she was really enjoying herself, then I might take a little longer.’ He winked at me.
I laughed. ‘Thanks Henry. I appreciate that.’
***
Chris stood by my door, reluctant to leave. ‘Can I stay a while longer?’
‘No, let’s just get this over with,’ I said. ‘I’m gonna take a shower, Mama Ruby wants to do my hair and then I’ll head for the cabin.’ I eyed him carefully and asked for the hundredth time since that morning, ‘Are you sure you’ll still love me tomorrow?’
‘I will still love you, full stop. Every action in this world is based on either love or fear. I always choose love.’ Chris crossed the room back to me. ‘Am I crazy about you possibly sleeping with another guy? No. But I have faith that it’s going to be okay. Even if you can’t tell me what names were inside the envelope.’
‘The note was pretty specific. Reveal these names to anyone and face immediate disqualification. ’ I sighed, then last-minute nerves gripped me. ‘What about you? You don’t need the money! Maybe you’re enlightened enough to pick love and let me sleep with someone else, but I don’t know if I’m that comfortable with it.’
‘I still have to go in. If I don’t, I’ll be ruining someone else’s chance at winning their prize. And after everything we’ve been through, that would be wrong. Besides …’ he smiled at me sensuously, ‘… if it is you and I in there together, it might just be the best night of our lives.’
‘But what if I don’t know it’s you?’ I pleaded.
He pinned me with his aqua gaze. ‘You’ll know.’
***
My hair was loose and scented with frangipani oil, and it wafted around my shoulders as I followed the trail to my fantasy cabin door. The night breezes caught the hem of my red wrap dress, the thin cotton only attached by a few simple ties on the side.
Without a bra to dull their sensitivity, my nipples rubbed against the material, already hard and eager to be touched. I was simultaneously the most nervous and the most turned on I’ve ever been. After weeks of sexual frustration, I was finally about to have my needs fulfilled and my body couldn’t have been more excited.
When I reached the first light-lock door, I turned and smiled nervously at Greg. ‘Okay. This is it!’
He gave me the thumbs up. ‘Good luck, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay, I promise.’
‘Thanks, Greg. And thanks again for raising the alarm on the beach last night.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m only pissed I wasn’t there to capture you kicking Dante’s arse in person.’
Rolling my eyes, I stepped towards him and gave him a hug. After a moment of surprise, he hugged me back, his camera forgotten. ‘Alright, you better get to it! Hey, can you give me a sound bite before you go in?’
‘For you? My constant companion/obsessive stalker?’ I smiled angelically. ‘No.’
‘Hey!’
‘Fine.’ Moving back to the door, I opened it wide and looked down at the little card I’d brought along with me as a security blanket. Only the two names printed on the paper made it possible for me to even consider going inside.
I rubbed my fingertip fondly along the etched script reading, Henry , and then raised the card to my lips and pressed them against the word Chris.
With my eyes closed, I raised my face up and said, ‘I’m doing this out of love, not fear. I love my sister and I love Chris. There is love, and everything else is just background noise.’
Then, with my heart strong and full of love, I closed the door behind me.