Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Finn
Iwas tempted tonight.
Tempted to disregard everything Eris bade me not to do and follow her home. To ensure she made it home safely and guarantee her husband kept his fists to himself.
I could end him quickly.
I could end him slowly.
Instead, I force myself to respect her wishes and let her go. The second she slipped out of sight, the world around me felt lonelier than ever before.
I don't remember the trek to our ship docked in the harbor, but when I focus, I'm in the galley kitchen making a snack and heating a pot of tea. Cook will be irate I messed with his clean and pristine space, but I will deal with his chastisement in the morning. I need to settle my nerves.
I scoff.
Cook's fury will pale in comparison to Payne's. He hand selected me, confident we Tronovians would win the tournament with a commanding presence, but I never wanted to compete. My magic is a curse.
Despite my mother insisting there is no such thing as a cursed affinity, I know mine isn't a blessed one.
I hurt people. I slip into the recesses of their minds and shred them from the inside out.
I can feel my magic like murderous tendrils seep in their skin and boil their blood, squeeze their organs, and disembowel them without so much as lifting a finger.
"You're a weapon, boy!" my professors would insist. "Act like one!"
Therein lies the problem. I don't want to harm anyone. Well, anyone who isn't deserving of such a fate, like Eris' husband.
I want to heal people. I want to help people.
I'm cursed to do the opposite.
My parents will understand my refusal to compete in the games, but my reasons won't shield me from my mother's expression of pity.
Her disappointment that I don't see myself the way she does is a burden I shoulder daily.
I wish everyone else would see me in the same light.
They wouldn't fear me or cross to the opposite side of the street when I pass by in a preemptive maneuver.
I lost control once in school. And that's all anyone remembers. Not the countless times I controlled myself when professors and students pushed me past the point of sanity. No, I will always be looked upon as a potential threat and I despise it. Worse, I despise myself.
On the bright side, with my withdrawal from the competition, Nyx got his first chance to perform in front of a large audience, and they simply adored him.
Women swooned. Men envied. And unsurprising to no one, Nyx ate it up.
As proud as I was with his performance, watching him and Atlas be so in sync made my heart ache.
I'm not charismatic like Nyx nor do I have the commanding presence Atlas has. I'm just...me. And I know it's not good enough.
"You aren't just Finn." Eris' words echo in the recesses of my mind.
It took all self-restraint not to drown in her sea blue eyes. They were hypnotizing. Meeting her gaze damn near stopped my heart. But for all her beauty there was also pain in her eyes. A pain different from mine but a suffering I know all too well.
There was a hopelessness about her that mirrors my own. Our souls are tattered, yet for a brief moment, I felt as if I wasn't alone.
I come back to the unfaltering truth that I can't force anyone to care for me. If my own people don't see value in me, how could someone as wonderful and as powerful as Eris Talay feel an inkling of desire for someone like me?
When my eyes turned orange, I knew she was frightened. I saw fear streak across her face. I should be used to that reaction by now, but it pained me to see it come from her.
Maybe one day I'll find someone who will look at me the way my mother admires my father. Someone who will know my flaws and love me despite them.
A loud thud slams against the other side of the kitchen wall silencing my thoughts. Hushed cackles follow and I roll my eyes. Nyx must have really enjoyed the party tonight. And rightfully so. Tronovia might not have won the tournament this year, but Nyx had an epic debut.
Half-expecting my youngest brother to be tiptoeing through the corridor with a female in tow for one last romp before we set sail, I'm surprised to see a barely coherent Nyx slumped beside Atlas. My older brother resituates Nyx's arm across his shoulders and hoists him back onto his feet.
"Looks like you two had a fun evening," I blow the steam from my tea and wiggle my brows.
Atlas is less than amused. Then again, he's been playing a cat and mouse game with the second-born Talay for the last week, and I can see it's taken a toll on him. Atlas isn't one for one-night stands. Hell, he's not one for relationships either.
His shadows illicit excitement from a paying audience and dread from enemy combatants.
But the way I feel about my magic, is similar to how Atlas feels about his own.
I've heard him mumble countless times how he wished he'd inherited mother and father's fire magic.
If we could all just be normal, everything would be all right.
Instead, we're all anomalies, destined to be treated different until the day we inevitably die.
At least Atlas has a semblance of control over his shadowy tendrils. I've refused to use my affinity for quite some time and know the day I need it, I'll be shaky at best.
"One of us had fun," Atlas grumbles and swats Nyx from resting his head on his chest.
"Too much fun if you ask me," I chuckle into my mug.
"Care to help?" Atlas manages to keep Nyx on his feet when his knees nearly give out. "For being the youngest brother, he's certainly the largest."
"I say you drop him in the hall and let him sleep it off."
Atlas contemplates the suggestion all of one second before he releases Nyx and lets him hit the floorboards. "What'd you make this time?" He stomps toward the nook and sits opposite me.
"Lemon raspberry tart. Nothing special."
"Quit selling yourself short," Atlas chastises like any good older brother would. "We both know if you opened your own bakery, you'd put Treats out of business."
"What we both know is you're a liar." I carefully slide a piece of the dessert onto a plate and push it toward Atlas. "Treats is a Tronovian staple. I could never compete."
Atlas shakes his head, forking a mouthful of tart into his mouth. "I stand by what I said."
Nyx groans from the hallway but doesn't make any attempt to get up.
"What happened with him?" I toss a thumb toward the doorway.
"People kept buying him drinks all night. Nyx has no self-control." Atlas rubs a napkin across his mouth. "Thankfully I didn't let him out of my sight. There were a few women waiting to pounce the second I lost him."
"And you?" I push my tart around my plate aimlessly. "Did the princess finally sink her claws into you?"
Atlas reclines in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. "She's beautiful."
"But?"
"I can't shake this feeling like there's someone else waiting for me. Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard?"
I swallow hard. Eris' face pops into my head and I have to rid her smile from my memory. "I've heard crazier things."
"Do I smell cake?" Nyx slowly sits up, leaning his back against the doorframe.
"Lemon raspberry tart," I correct.
"Well, look who is back from the dead," Atlas teases.
"If you'd be so kind," he presses a palm to his forehead, ignoring Atlas completely, "bring me a piece and a glass of water."
"Maybe next time, don't accept every drink purchased for you," Atlas fusses, a smirk gliding across his face watching our youngest brother struggle to keep upright.
"First of all, quit yelling. I have a horrible headache. And second," Nyx flashes two fingers in emphasis, "it would be rude of me to decline a gifted drink."
"Have you ever considered someone could easily poison you?" Atlas stretches his legs in front of him.
Nyx laughs and motions up and down his six-foot-four frame sprawled on the floor. "Can I interest you in a little regeneration magic, Atlas? I'm basically invincible."
I plop a piece of the tart onto another plate and pour a glass of water. "If you want this, you'll have to come sit at the table. I won't feed you like a dog."
Nyx exhales a dramatic sigh before hoisting himself up and weaving side to side to get to the table.
Atlas doesn't hide his amused face, laughing with each thunderously clumsy step Nyx takes.
Finally, the baby of the family makes it to the table and flings himself onto the last available chair.
His elbows slam onto the table and rattle the silverware and spill some of his drink.
"Does he look invincible to you, Finn?" Atlas asks, tossing a napkin over the mess. "Cause he looks invincible to me. A deity among men."
"Fuck off, Atlas," Nyx huffs, snatching the glass of cold water and pressing it against his temple.
"Drink the water, Nyx," I instruct. "It'll help."
"Neither one of you knows how to have a good time." He reluctantly obeys and sips the water.
"We know how to have fun," Atlas inserts, "but after we've had our fun, we can still walk home under our own free will."
"You should have left me. I could have had my fill of drink, and a woman to warm my bed."
"And delay our sunrise departure trying to track you down? Pass." Atlas shakes his head and pours himself a cup of tea. "I don't know about you but I'm ready to get out of here."
"I rather like it here," Nyx chimes in, spearing his fork toward the tart only to miss and scrape the plate.
"You like the adoration."
"Same thing," he frowns up at Atlas. "Quit being such an annoying big brother, Atlas."
"Someone's got to watch over you," he quips without missing a beat.
"What about you, Finn?" Nyx turns to me. "Are you ready to leave?"
Eris' face once again pops up in my mind. The urge to find her is overwhelming. Why do I feel guilty leaving her here? This is her home. This is where she belongs. Or is it?
But then again, going back to Tronovia isn't filling me with excitement either. I'll be returning to my homeland where no one accepts me. I'll just be in our row house alone; a prison in its own way.
"Finn?" Nyx presses, drunken impatience taking over.
I clear my throat and lift my cup to my lips. "It'll be nice to tend to my garden."
Nyx throws his head back and moans in frustration. "Finn, you sound like an old man. Don't you get bored? You need to get out of the house and live a little."
"Like you?" I smirk to mask the pain swelling in my chest.
"Yes, like me," he fires back. "Or maybe you just need to get laid. I don't fucking know."
"Eat the tart, Nyx," Atlas says, his tone even but firm.
One of the sailors on guard duty pops into the kitchen, officially making this space far too crowded. "There's a girl outside."
"A girl?" Nyx's mood instantly brightens. "What does she look like?"
"She said she was looking for you, Master Finn." His eyes lock with mine and my stomach plummets.
"Me?"
"Finn?" Nyx whips his head toward me. Shock flashes in his bloodshot eyes before a knowing smirk crawls across his face. "Finn, I didn't know you had it in you. Looks like you might have had fun in Hydra after all."
I don't stay to explain. I push my chair back and follow the sailor above deck.
My heart is thundering inside my chest. Did she change her mind?
Or maybe something is wrong. I race to the ledge and peer over at the dock and see her.
She's pulled her cloak over her head and is hiding most of her appearance.
I catch sight of her white tattooed fingers but then my heart stops when I see what looks like blood stained across her hands.
"Eris?" I whisper and she looks up at me.
The moonlight glistens on the tears streaking down her face and that's when I notice blood splattered on her cheeks.
"What happened?" I leap over the side and land on the wooden dock with a thud. I reach for her, but she pulls away from me, stopping me dead in my tracks.
"Eris?" I restrain from reaching for her again. "Is that your blood or someone else's?"
She trembles. Her eyes flick up to meet mine. Fear. There's true fear glaring back at me and my heart sinks.
"Are you hurt? I can help you. Please, just talk to me."
"I… I killed him," she confesses so softly I barely register her words.
"Who?" I ask, already aware of the answer.
"He hit me. He hit me so many times. I was so scared. He's never been that angry before. I tried to stop him. I tried to stop him but …" her bottom lip trembles and she falls to her knees. "I didn't mean to kill him, Finn. I swear I didn't mean to kill him."
I kneel in front of her and slowly reach for her face to swipe her tears. This time she doesn't flinch or retreat. She permits me to thumb her cheeks.
"Finn," she whispers, her voice broken. "I didn't know where else to go. I'll be executed if they find me."
"Then they won't find you." I scoop her into my arms and carry her up the ramp and onto the ship.
Atlas and Nyx have made their way above deck but don't ask any questions as I bypass them. I look at the sailors standing guard. "Tell the captain to wake up. We set sail now."
"But we're not scheduled to leave until dawn – "
"I said, we're leaving," I cut the sailor off. "Now."
I keep Eris tucked tightly against my chest as I stomp below deck and toward my quarters. Kicking the door open, I gently place her on my mattress, and she begins to sob.
"If they find out you helped me escape," she mumbles, "they'll try to kill you too."
I sit beside her and tuck my finger beneath her chin. I turn her to face me. "Say the word. Say the word and I will take you far away from this place. I will make sure you're safe."
"What if they come for me?"
"They'll have to go through me first."
She nods her head. "Take me away from here. Please."