Chapter 20
My mood is soured by Eidunn’s story. Of course I don’t blame her. Who could? Any young girl hopes to find a loving husband, and for Eidunn, it would have been the key to her chain.
I blame men. Bastard men. It’s terrifying, the risk I took sneaking out with Ari last night. The risk I am taking flirting with Vidar. I am but a slave girl, like Eidunn. An easy victim, barely protected by law.
I close my eyes and splash water from a rain barrel on my face.
It cleanses my mind, recenters me. Hopefully, not all men are bastards.
Eidunn’s story haunts me. Forcing a woman, coercing her…
it should be punishable by death. When I rule the heavens, men will pay dearly for such foul acts. Pay with their blood.
“Kilda.” A familiar voice behind me. Vidar.
“My lord.” I wipe my face dry with my apron.
“The jarl summons you.”
Curses. Thyra must have talked to Sigurd, told him of my gluttony. I hope I am still allowed to study with the Volva. I’m sure she is trying to block me from gaining any power among the locals. That woman is merciless.
“Then I shall come.”
“Now,” he says.
I turn to him. He isn’t wearing his usual leather. He is wearing a bright blue tunic over red pants, held in place by silver brooches. I raise my eyebrows.
“Hey,” he says with a grin. “I can change clothes too, you know.”
“It’s a good look,” I reply. “A true jarl’s son.”
“Why am I feeling that’s a subtle insult?”
He pouts his lips and folds his arms, not annoyed, but getting there.
“I just…” I struggle to find the words without mentioning Eidunn’s story. “I was thinking about last night.”
“I enjoyed our chat.”
“So did I. That’s what’s scaring me.”
“Scaring you?” He feigns confusion, broadening his shoulders.
“Scaring me,” I confirm. “You are the jarl’s son. I am a slave girl.”
“It was just some harmless fun. Never hurt anyone.”
Vidar focuses on my admission of enjoyment, not my fear.
“That’s just it—harmless fun. Soon you will need a wife. You will need sons. I don’t want to be some harmless fun until you find someone worthy of marrying a jarl’s son.”
“I’m sorry you see it that way. It was never my intention to—”
“I need to protect my reputation, Vidar. I’m sorry.”
I have just interrupted a noble. A man like Vidar should correct me. Most slave owners would punish their thralls for such insolence. My spine prickles as I wait for his response. Does he view me as an equal? Or just a slave to order around and toy with?
“I would never want to soil your reputation, Kilda.” His eyes are dead serious. Light blue piercing through the protective shield I’ve constructed since listening to Eidunn. I whisper.
“We could never be—”
“We can do what we want. I could try to get my father to free you. I could even buy your freedom.”
“Oh, how romantic, Vidar, buying me.”
“Not you, your freedom.”
Freedom. Offered by the man who pulled me to my knees. I snort.
“My freedom to choose? Or my freedom to be your toy, or if lucky, your wife?”
“I…” he fumbles his words. “Look, I would have you freed if I could, even if you were to choose the bastard skald.”
The skald? Has the rumor of last night’s escapade reached Vidar’s ears? Surely there is gossip that I am the berry thief, but I had not expected anyone to know Ari had been with me. Or had taken me there, rather.
“The skald?”
He laughs.
“Just an example of the worst-case scenario.”
“You would buy my freedom to let me be with another man?”
Vidar steps forward, releasing a long breath.
“I enjoyed your beauty the first moment I laid eyes on you. I enjoyed your mind when we joked and talked, when you were still in chains.”
“I… but…” I am left speechless. Never had I expected this—he doesn’t even seem dishonest.
My mind? Clearly Vidar is attracted to me. But I had thought he was charming me to steal private moments in the hay or the woods. This is almost a declaration of love. If it’s just a tactic—Vidar is ruthless.
“Think on it. You are special,” he whispers, carefully holding my shoulders.
I feel like a kitten in his massive hands.
Goosebumps spread across my skin at his firm grip.
He could toss me around, either in anger or for fun.
A wall of a man. I need to protect my reputation, no doubt.
I don’t want to end up like Eidunn, a target. Alone.
But being handled softly by a strong man leaves my knees weak.
“I will think on it,” I whisper hoarsely. My mouth is dry. Had it been up to me, with no one hearing of it, with no repercussions, I would mount him right now. Or let him handle me like an unbroken horse, deciding how he wants to ride.
His face is dangerously close to mine—I battle the instinct to lock lips with him. Giving in to lust has been a pleasure in the past, with Narve. But now, too much is at stake. I stroke his arm with a careful hand, like one would touch an unknown ox or stallion.
“You test my resolve,” I mutter, unable to hide the seduction from my voice. He knows he can have me. I couldn’t hide it if I wanted.
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” He strokes the side of my face. “You also test mine.”
I swallow, but there is nothing to swallow, only a dried-up throat pulsating over my rioting heart. If only I were free to marry. I cannot be discarded, dishonored.
“Please… stop…” I whisper. I might just give in, pull his arm to the woods, find a quiet spot to fill with noise. He retreats slightly, his massive frame blocking out the sun behind him. His hair glows gold in the light, like he’s Freyr, god of fertility.
“We could share life, and have a lot of fun, I’m sure. Please think on it, Kilda.”
My whole body is shaking. Heated. He could have me here and now, if he truly acted on his desire. I am barely able to control mine. A pang of regret hits me. A missed opportunity. I shake my head to clear it, making him laugh.
“You truly are a beast, Vidar,” I say, laughing with him. “A bull, almost making a maiden disrobe in public.”
He grins. Undoubtedly a compliment every man would be proud to hear.
“You are irresistible yourself,” he says, eyes narrowing suggestively.
“I will…” I mumble. My head is light, sluggish. “I will consider your offer.”
“Please do.” He nods deeply, breaking decorum. No jarl’s son should honor a slave like this, but to me, he wishes to show that we are equals. “Now come. My father is probably furious, wondering where we are.”