Chapter 54
They are avoiding me. I know it.
Practically all men avert their eyes, pretending I’m not there.
They used to smile, some of them, at least. People would salute me, nod.
Many men fear Volvas. It’s not unusual for them to keep their distance.
I saw that with Groa. But this is different.
Folk pay their respects to the gods through those who are touched, feeling awe even if they are wary.
Wary of a magic woman? Of course. But a Jotnar skald? That’s just fine. A Jotnar skald planning to steal from the jarl? No problem. Even if they knew about Ari, they would probably think a little girl with vivid dreams was a bigger threat to the order of things. Fucking maniacs.
Taking quick steps toward the thrall quarters, I hold my head high, my unkempt braid swaying in the tempestuous wind. I will find my friends. Surely they will not judge me for defending one of our own.
I pass a group of laborers heading to the field.
All three go quiet, turning away. I’m being actively ignored.
I have crossed a boundary. People noticed me entering behind Ari when he accused Njord.
This is the price for bringing the truth to light, for breaking the code of silence.
Men of honor with no honor—let them wallow in their shit like pigs.
There is Ausveig, standing alone and preparing vegetables for the evening meal, as always. Advice from an experienced woman, a fellow thrall who surely has seen the worst—it’s just what I need.
“Blessings, Ausveig,” I say as I approach.
“Kilda,” she replies with a quick glance before resuming her expert chopping.
“How are you doing?” I tweet.
She snorts.
“I should be asking you,” she says, turning to me and wiping her brow with her knife hand.
“I’m fine, but… I… I need your advice.”
“A thrall like me giving advice to a touched woman?”
“Please, Ausveig, stop.”
“Go on then.”
“I have noticed that since the duel, people have… they don’t… They avoid me.”
Ausveig tosses the knife on the chopping board and folds her arms, leaning her hip on the table.
“What were you expecting? Glory?” she asks.
I falter. Her words are like a punch to the gut. Surely Ausveig the thrall-woman isn’t against helping Eidunn? A sudden gust of wind threatens to throw me off balance.
“No, but… Eidunn was being hurt. I just wanted to—”
“I know what you wanted, Kilda.” She rubs my shoulder. “But people here have known Njord since he was a boy.”
“That doesn’t help Eidunn. Where is she anyway?”
“No clue. And no, it doesn’t. I’m not defending abuse—I’m telling you why people avoid you.”
“Go on. I’m sorry.”
“We are slaves, my dear. I know it’s new to you, but that is your status, even with Sigurd offering you privileges.”
My shoulders sag as she continues. The smell of freshly chopped roots makes my stomach growl, but I repress my hunger.
“A free man is dead. Folk noticed you behind the skald, in the hall, before the poem. They talk. People see that you told Ari about Eidunn’s situation.”
“So then what? I should have—”
“Stop defending yourself, girl. You came to me for advice.”
I breathe deep and close my eyes, quenching the kindling flame in my chest. To temper the cinders that might grow to a wildfire.
“Forgive me.”
“Forgiven. So in people’s eyes, especially free people, a free man—a renowned one at that—is dead because a thrall girl spread rumors about another thrall girl’s treatment.”
“But—”
She holds up her hand as she closes her eyes.
“Bottom line, thralls might support you, the girls certainly will. But they will be careful around you, for fear of being viewed as your ally.”
“And the skald?”
“The skald participated in a lawful duel. He was challenged. Allies of Njord will dislike him, sure, but Odin decided that he should win the Holmgang.”
“Ari kills the man, that’s fine. But me, who was standing behind him at the wrong time—I am judged?”
“I’ll be blunt. People will view you as the snake that whispered in the skald’s ear.”
I scoff. What a crazy fucking world. All for doing the right thing.
“So what? Am I doomed to be alone? An outsider? Hated by free folk?”
“Well, you are a Volva.” She gives me a pitiful smile. “Look, most free women probably support you in their hearts, but they also must be wary of their words and actions.”
My fingers dab tears as Ausveig continues.
“A woman’s freedom ends where a man’s pride begins,” she says. “Men rule this valley, Kilda, and the next one.”
“What a fucked-up world,” I whisper.
Ausveig pulls me into a warm hug. The smell of onions and earth clings to her as she envelops me. She whispers in my ear.
“They rule the valley, for now.”
I release a short laugh through the tears, enjoying her warmth.
For now.