Chapter 72
My hands shake. My stomach is so nervous I’m afraid I might shit myself. The crisp morning air should refresh me, but it only makes me bitter at the world and its ignorance of my plight. Bird-song rings from the trees. I wish I could make them shut the fuck up. Wish I could scream at them.
But I don’t. I walk along the house of someone I don’t know, keeping my eye on Vidar’s house up the hill. I haven’t been in there. Thank the gods. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I been lured to this animal’s den.
A glance in all directions. No one in sight.
All the men are working in the field, finishing the wall or preparing for harvest. The women are busy, performing the countless chores needed to keep a farm in order.
A cold ripple crawls up my spine as a twig snaps under my foot. Lucky for me, I am alone.
I approach the house, trying to look casual. Just enjoying a stroll. The house is huge. Three times the size of mine at least. Clearly Vidar has done well for himself while pillaging. No doubt killing and raping to fill his loot-chest.
The house looms over me. I crouch to be less visible. Now it’s serious. Anyone spotting me now would wonder what I am doing lurking around Vidar’s house.
Peeking through the wind-eye, everything is dark.
No lights are lit, only the white cloud-covered sunlight lets me see what’s inside.
The table has bowls and cups on it, remnants from last night’s meal.
I can see some shape in the bed, under the covers.
It’s way too small to be Vidar. My heart punches against my ribs. Could it be?
“Hello,” I whisper through the wind-eye. Nothing happens. No reaction whatsoever. Turning the corner and arriving at the door, I knock on it, hard.
A flurry of sounds escapes through the door, like someone rushing to clear the dishes and cutlery that were used yesterday.
“Just a second,” I hear a panicked voice from inside.
A voice I know. I decide against calling out. She won’t open for me. She will only open for him. Because she has to.
The door is flung open. And there she is.
Relief floods my body as I see Eidunn’s beautiful face in the dim light of day.
Her eyes widen as she learns it’s not who she expects at the door.
I am shocked at her black eye. The bruise sits on her perfect face like rotten fruit still hanging on a tree.
Shame fills my chest. Vidar’s hand did this, but I caused it to happen.
That’s what Eidunn screamed at my house.
She was right. I made it all worse with the duel. If only I had known.
“You!” she growls as she tries to slam the door.
I jump forward, stopping it from closing. My shoulder groans against the wood. A flash of panic. What if she screams?
“Please, wait,” I whisper.
“What do you want?”
“To speak to my closest friend.”
“Friends don’t cause each other misery.”
“It was never my intention.”
“Fuck off!” she shouts, pushing the door against my body. “You’re going to get us both killed.”
“Keep your voice down,” I whisper.
“Just fuck off.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No. Listen, I have a plan for—”
“I know how your plans go,” she snarls, still pushing the door against me.
I refuse to budge.
“I want to help.”
“Fuck your help.”
I push the door with all my might. Eidunn is gorgeous, but she isn’t strong. She is shoved backward into the large room. I step in. The hearth is cold. The air is stale. The interior is lavish but lifeless. Planks in the wall creak from the buffeting wind.
Vidar entered my house uninvited. Now I enter his. Fuck him.
“What are you doing?” hisses Eidunn.
“I know where you can go.”
“Where I can go? Have you gone mad?”
“You’re mad accepting a life like this.”
“Here we go again…”
“Look at your eye, Eidunn,” I say panting. “Look at your beautiful face.”
“Just fuck off already.”
Her jaw trembles as she scowls at me. I keep my face rigid.
“You can’t let Vidar do this.”
She steps backward, shaking her head in disbelief. Her defiance seems to melt away as she sits on the bed, crying into her palms. A wet, stifled sob cracks through the room. She looks smaller than she ever has before.
“He owns me, Kilda. How… How… How fucking stupid are you?”
I deserve that. Seeing Eidunn this way rips my heart apart. Strips me of my pride. While she has suffered as a consequence of my actions, I’ve been… I’ve been fucking Ari. I shake my head to clear it.
“You’re worth more than this,” I say as calm as I can.
“I’m a slave! So are you!”
“We aren’t slaves. We are women chained by men.”
She scoffs. I barely believe it myself. But what’s the alternative? Being a servant to disgusting rapists? Being at the mercy of the heartless? Eidunn sniffles.
“Oh, fucking brilliant line. Very helpful.”
“Ylvin told me that it’s—”
“Ylvin? You mean the weird woman in the woods? I am Vidar’s property by fucking law, Kilda!”
“I don’t care.”
“No, you don’t. What do you care about?”
“You.”
“Me?” she says with a snort.
“You.”
“You care more about your fling with that dirty skald.”
“Fuck the skald. I’m here for you.” I have to help her. After everything, I have to be here for her. All the pain I have caused. I need to calm her. “Take a deep breath.”
To my surprise, she actually obeys. Breathing in deep before a long exhale. Now is my time to drive my point home.
“If we can’t be free, we can at least try to make our lives better.”
“And how would we do that? All be privileged witches, perhaps?”
“No, I—”
“Perhaps I should sacrifice some chickens, or some slaves, maybe?”
“I’ve never sacrificed anything, we could—”
“So, tell me then.”
“I’m fucking trying, Eidunn, if you’d let me speak!”
She stares at me with a furrowed brow. Wincing at the pain from moving her black eye. She wipes her other eye, then the damaged one more carefully. Poor woman. I soften my voice, hoping not to evoke her anger again.
“You will go to the woods,” I say.
“The fucking woods?”
“To Ylvin, she will take you in. Just say I sent you.”
“To the woman and her husband who you told me love walking around naked. Great idea.”
“They will help you.”
“Why would they help me?”
“I told you. Ylvin doesn’t believe in slaves. Only in selfish men and unfortunate women.”
“Men are slaves too.”
“True, but we are women.”
Silence. I just let it sink in. Of course I want to help male slaves. Not that they would let me. In any case, one thing at a time. Eidunn sniffles.
“How will I eat?”
“Work for Ylvin and Elof.”
“And just end my life here?”
“What life?”
“My life, Kilda. Besides, they will come for me. Vidar will come for me.”
“My plan goes like this—I will go to Thyra and convince her to buy you from Vidar, or to have Sigurd buy you.”
“What? How silly an idea is tha—”
“If Thyra helps, you are out of Vidar’s grip, right?”
“He will still come for me.”
“Even Vidar can’t challenge his sister or his father. It’s the law, remember?”
As I speak my plan, I realize how stupid I sound. But I’m desperate. And by Freya, it might just work. Eidunn shakes her head.
“You truly are a silly bitch.”
“I… uh…”
Her words shock me, but if she can hate me, she is still alive. Her blood still boils.
“And if Thyra denies you? Which she will because, like me, she also thinks you’re a silly bitch.”
“Thyra is—”
“She fucking hates you.”
“She does, but—”
“Why would she help you?”
“Not me, you. She—”
“Why would she help me?”
“Thyra is a woman.”
Finally, Eidunn’s face shifts from anger to reflection.
Like she sees the goal I am hoping for might just be within reach.
Women know the price of a man’s foul temper.
We’ve all bled for their pride. Thyra will understand, she must. Eidunn seems to be considering my offer. Time to hammer my point home.
“If we are to be slaves our whole lives, we can at least be treated with dignity. You deserve better.”
“You’re fucking mad.”
“You go to Ylvin. Best case, Thyra accepts and you are her or Sigurd’s slave. Worst case, you stay with Ylvin and travel with her until you find a place to stay or a husband.”
“Oh yeah, every man wants to marry a runaway slave.”
“We are not slaves.”
“They will come to kill me! Vidar will come and do even worse!”
“Ylvin will protect you. Trust me. That woman can smell a fox sneaking on the other side of the mountain.”
“Ridiculous…”
“I swear it. You saw what she taught me. I was invisible, remember?”
“How could I forget such witchcraft?”
“Well, Ylvin is a thousand times better at it than me. She can protect you.”
“So that’s it? I run for the hills? Like every other slave who has been hunted down and killed before me?”
“If Thyra doesn’t agree, I will join you.”
“With that filthy skald, no doubt.”
She smiles at me, wiping her cheeks of tears. I grin back.
“Probably.”
“By Thor’s fucking thunder,” she says as she stands, “I can’t believe I’m considering this. I must be crazy.”
A fragile spark ignites behind her eyes. Her breathing evens. She wipes her palms on her dress as she glances to the door with a fearful determination. I nod at her.
“Anything is better than this,” I whisper.
I gesture around the room. The thick air within it carries Vidar’s scent. No matter how plush and comfortable it is, it’s not worth the price Eidunn is paying. She grabs a knapsack, filling it with food, a dress and a water gourd.
“This is crazy,” she mutters with an unusually high pitch.
“It is,” I confirm.
“You’re fucking crazy.”
“Maybe.”
Eidunn raises a long knife, holding it up so I see it. A chill runs through me as I get a flashback from the time she attacked me. The woman can be truly vicious when she wants. She packs it into the bag.
“I’m bringing this.”
“Good move.”
“So, if Thyra helps, what do I say I am doing in the woods?”
“Forage? Pick some mushrooms or something.”
“Your tactical mind truly is brilliant,” says Eidunn, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
I ignore her insult, peeking out the door. The coast is clear.
“Listen now,” I say, “just walk upward, toward the waterfall. It’s right under it and a little west, toward the lower valley.”
“Perfect directions.”
“Ylvin’s camp is right under the waterfalls.”
“And Elof’s…” she says.
“That man is hard as rock, but decent. He will protect you. No need to fear him.”
Eidunn tosses a cloak around her shoulders. I step forward and tie it for her. She flinches, but relaxes as I help. The warmth of her breath strokes against my knuckles. Her face is fearful. As it should be. Most runaway slaves only meet one end. Death. I pray this will work out.
We stalk carefully toward the tree line.
I enter the forest with her to make sure she’s going in the right direction.
I grab her shoulders, forcing her into a hug.
A soft sound escapes her as she clutches the back of my robe.
As our cheeks stroke each other, her tears wet my skin.
I hope this isn’t the last time I touch her.
If this goes wrong, her blood will be on my hands.
“Freya guide you,” I whisper.
“She better fucking guide me,” she says, her voice grounded.
Our gaze connects. Her eyes are fiery, like she has accepted that this is her fate. Better to die with honor than live in shame. Eidunn is honorable.
“Kilda,” she whispers.
“What?”
“Thanks.”
The word hits me like a punch to the gut. Her trust scares me more than Vidar does. A sob of my own almost escapes my lips. I can’t believe she accepted my offer. Desperate to escape Vidar. She turns to ascend the mountain. Goosebumps cover my skin as a nearby crow calls out. Only once.
Freya, guide her path. And most of all—let Ylvin still be there.