8. Zoe
8
Zoe
“Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.” – Unknown
A s soon as I am in the safety of my little beach cottage, I allow myself to breathe and slip to the ground.
What the hell happened to my brain last night and how do I recover from it?
But do I want to?
I run the pads of my fingers across my still-swollen lips where I can still feel him and taste him. I slip my hand lower over my neck that he peppered with kisses and surely left some marks on.
God, I hope he did.
I run it over my somehow still tingling breasts that he worshiped late into the night. And I look down between my legs where it seems my thighs have made custom indents for him to fit in between.
“Dear Lord,” I groan to no one at all. The man can fuck. No, not just fuck—ravish, and destroy you in the best way because that’s the only explanation for what I am this morning. Or who was I last night when I asked him to fuck me harder, faster and more.
I’ve never said the things I said to him. I didn’t even think I wanted them. Yet one touch from him and I lost myself, shed that old shell I was wearing and dove off the deep end. No, he didn’t just ravish my body, he reset my whole brain.
I’ve never had so many orgasms in one night. Hell, it was a whole process to reach at least one most of the time. Yet it took exactly zero effort on my part with Matteo.
Matteo . I never thought I’d find a guy’s name beautiful, edible, and dreamy but here we are. He surprised me from the first moment with his looks, he then won me over with his wit, charm and being unapologetically himself.
And do not even get me started on his cock…even if he would’ve been a complete fool, that stick between his legs would have won me over.
I didn’t even know they could be that big.
And I have seen a lot of penises as a doctor, okay?
He never promised me anything beyond this one night and that’s why I high tailed it from his apartment at the crack of dawn because he might not be a relationship kind of a guy, but I happen to be a commitment whore and staying with him even another second was too dangerous for me.
I was fighting an urge to thread my fingers through his dark, long hair as it was before I left.
But I don’t regret last night. Not one bit.
He’s set me free. Free from the haunting thoughts I’ve lived with for the past couple months. Because after just one night with a stranger, I could finally see it.
What Justin and I had wasn’t love. It wasn’t even lust. It was a disease I willingly contracted.
During the whole year of our relationship, Justin never once took care of me like Matteo did tonight. Never showed me that kind of devotion and adoration. Never made me feel so desired I could smell it off him.
No, I’ll never settle for a disease again. I’ll never settle for anything less than what I had with Matteo.
Even if deep in my soul I already know there’s no one else like him.
“What is she doing?” A somewhat familiar voice sounds from behind me, and I turn around noticing Hope, Grace and Joy standing in my—well Joy’s—living room, all wearing varying expressions on their faces from confused (Hope) to happily grinning and moving her head along to the beat (Grace) to scowling and frowning (Joy).
“I like this song,” Grace tries to yell over the music, but I can barely hear her.
Nope, I’m not turning it off. My favorite part is about to come up. Plus, Grace likes it too.
“Here I am, looking everywhere for her, and she is dancing her life away in the kitchen?” Joy’s booming voice somehow is louder than Panic! At the Disco playing out of my speaker as I’m living it up to the “House of Memories” by them.
What? It seemed like a very fitting song for this morning, and I needed a dance party. No, I deserved one because today is the first morning in over two months where I didn’t have the urge to puke my guts out, got so many orgasms my horny pregnant body is well sated for the remainder of this pregnancy, and I didn’t want to cry even once.
Looks like the sexy, younger bartender was exactly what I needed.
“I’m dancing,” I yell back to them. “It’s good for the baby.”
“Dancing? Sure.” Joy comes over to my phone and with one finger shuts it off. “Practicing exorcism while you are pregnant? Doubt it.”
“Ha ha, so funny.” I stick my tongue out, and if someone told me I would be comfortable enough to do so with my boss a few months back, I’d tell them to go check their head. “I was simply caught in the moment.”
“So, care to tell me where you were last night as I search the whole damn town for you?”
“I was at the bar,” I answer and turn the song back on.
“What bar?” She shuts it off again.
“Are there many bars in Loverly Cave? LPs, of course.” The music is back on.
“I checked there. Three times. You weren’t there.”
I shake my hips with my hands above my head as a wicked grin spreads over my face. “Did you checked upstairs?”
Right away the music is off again and this time she grabs my phone so I’m not able to turn it back on. “What upstairs?” Joy asks, narrowing her gaze on me.
Crap, I forgot how frightening she can be.
“The only upstairs they have there.”
“Zoe, I swear to God if you don’t start talking right now, I will sick Jacob on you and trust me, that man can get the dead spilling their guts out,” she threatens me with her fiancé.
“Is it just me or does she threaten everyone with Jacob?” Grace whispers to Hope.
“She totally does. You’d think he was some kind of a creep instead of the most lovable guy in the world,” Hope confirms but Joy snaps her fingers in front of my face, bringing my attention back to herself.
“Start talking girlfriend,” she says but turns her head to Hope. “Did you already forget that it was that most lovable fiancé of mine who made your boyfriend tattoo his name on his ass?”
Hope scrunches up her nose. “Yeah, you’re right. Jacob is very evil.”
“Do I even want to know?” I ask them and all three of them shout, “NO!” in unison.
“Shame. It sounds like a good story.” I shrug, knowing I’ll get it out of them later.
“You know what else sounds like a good story? Your night.” Joy smiles that evil forced smile of hers and I groan.
“Fine, I was having the best sex of my life with the hottest, too-young-for-me guy.”
Silence and three stupefied faces.
“Wait, what?” Grace recovers first. “Was it Griffin? He’s the only good-looking single guy left,” she asks, meaning her boyfriend’s friend who I met briefly yesterday. And sure, he is very good looking, with all that tall, dark and handsome thing going on for him, but my guy was hotter.
Or I’m biased because of the million orgasms. Whatever.
“She just said too young for her, and Griff is what? Her age? Plus, that guy clearly has it bad for another girl,” Hope whispers back to her.
Also true. I saw how he was looking at Julie—Hope’s friend and the local coffee shop owner—yesterday.
“No, it wasn’t Griff but I’m not giving up his name. No matter how many Jacobs you set out on me.” I point to Joy who only shakes her head.
“You do realize what town you came to, right? There is no such thing as secrets in here and your night with this ‘mysterious’ guy is probably already broadcasted all over Love Hive.”
“What in the world is Love Hive and why would it be up there?” I frown but before she gets to answer me, my front door bursts open as four ladies I met a few days ago at Fifi’s store walk in and one of them does it for her.
“Because we are a nosey bunch and Love Hive is an in-town chat we have to share all of the important news and events within Loverly Cave bubble.”
“What’s going on here?” I ask, confused at this intrusion and how freely everyone seems to be moving around my personal space.
Seriously, what is going on?
Grace comes to my side and pats my back with sympathy written all over her face. “My deepest condolences,” she says and then turns to the lady in the neon Adidas track suite. “Fanny, you could knock for a change, no?”
“Tootsie roll, where would the fun be in that?” They start going back and forth between each other, but I am not paying attention because another older but very pretty woman with two braids, a whole bunch of dangling, colorful jewelry who I’ve also met before comes right up to me, placing her thin hands on my shoulders and kisses both of my cheeks.
My stunned brain somehow remembers the name of the woman in front of me who is still holding me and blinking rapidly. “Willa, right?” I ask with even more confusion than a few moments ago.
“Oh darling.” She smiles sincerely with tears in her eyes. “Please call me mama.”
That exact moment of dead silence is pierced with a loud spitting sound as Joy chokes on her coffee she just made and looks at me.
She hides her face behind the said coffee mug and mouths to me, “You fucked Matteo?”
My wild, one-night-stand-Matteo ended up being Willa’s only son who she loves dearly and desperately wants to see in love and married. And it only took us all an hour to console her when I broke the news that I’m leaving to go back to Chicago in a few days, and Matteo and I are most definitely not together.
“Don’t you worry, Willa,” Jenny—the other lady from Fantastic Four aka Joy, Hope and Grace’s mother—pats Willa’s back lovingly. “It will all work out, you’ll see.”
And it wasn’t just me who thought the tone of her voice was oddly suspicious because Joy zeroed in her gaze on her mom and said, “Mother, whatever it is you are planning, stop immediately!”
“I’m not planning a thing,” she says sweetly, batting her lashes at her daughter but none of us miss the smirk that passes between her, Nina Colson, and Fanny Lovesil.
God, what have I gotten myself into?
The next few days pass in harmony all the while I avoid Willa and her gang. Their watchful eyes are still giving me the creeps.
But I must admit, leaving LC was a lot harder than it should have been, especially knowing that Joy is not coming back with me no matter what she says. She belongs here.
And maybe so do I because I have been miserable ever since I got back to Chicago, to my apartment and the work routine I used to love so much yet now it felt wrong.
Everything feels wrong.
I also got reacquainted with my old friend, the toilet bowl. Is it something in this air here that makes my nausea so bad? Why didn’t I feel like that in Loverly? Or is it simply being in Justin’s vicinity that churns my stomach nowadays?
Two weeks later, I finally decide I’ve had enough and made an impulsive decision I hope I won’t come to regret.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Zoe bug, how are you feeling?” I have been calling my dad religiously every day since I came back because for another odd reason, I’ve been missing him more than ever. Maybe it was seeing the easy relationships the Levine’s had with their parents. Maybe it was missing that feeling of belonging with them as well, to have someone care for me. And don’t get me wrong, Dad has always been there for me despite the distance. Always. But here in Chicago, I was too busy to be there for him as well.
“It’s the same old, unfortunately, but that’s not why I called.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah…so, I think I’m moving to Loverly Cave.”
“Thank God! Finally! I almost ran out of plastic plates and didn’t want to buy new ones.” My dad exhales with relief and sounds all too happy about this weird comment.
“Um…what? What are you talking about?”
“I’ve packed my dishes along with all other stuff three weeks ago and I was just waiting for you to finally give me the go-ahead, so I’ve been living off plastic plates.”
“The go-ahead for what?”
“To move to Loverly Cave with you, of course,” he says as if that was perfectly clear from the start, but I am standing here shocked and speechless.
“You mean to say you’re moving with me? And that you knew I’d be moving there this whole time?”
“Honey, I knew it after the first call you made when you just arrived there. I’ve never heard you sound so happy. So yes, I knew and was waiting for you to catch up. But I was also going to move to Chicago if you decided to stay there.”
Happy tears are gathering over my eyelashes, “I love you, Dad.”
“Love you more, Zoe bug, “What about your job? Are you going to be fine doing something else? I know how hard you worked to be at KePah.”
“You know, I thought I’d be a lot sadder about leaving it. I thought there would be tears and devastation. Yet the only emotion I feel is elation. I’m free, Dad.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, honey.” My throat grows tight at his words. I don’t deserve Kevin Holsted. I don’t deserve a father like him. “So, what are you thinking of doing now?”
“Joy and Jacob offered me a position in their new clinic they are starting down there. So, I guess it’s time to brush up on my family medicine books.”
My dad chuckles. “Knew you wouldn’t be able to sit still for long.”
“Never.”
“Then let’s go start our new life.”
My Life Plan Two Point One:
Call my landlord.
Hand in mine and Joy’s resignation letters.
Pack my stuff.
Dream some more of the sexy bartender.
Buy a one-way ticket.
Repeat step number four again. Because why not?
Never look back at my old life.
Welcome to Loverly Cave Town where love is the answer to any question.
Population Three Thousand One Hundred and Six.
Love Hive:
CookieJ: Attention, attention. I just received news that Zoe is officially moving to Loverly Cave.
Ninasunshine: Which means operation “Tame the Beast” is officially on.
Willoflove: Thank Rainbows! I did not think this day would come.
Toughtolove: Calm your chakras, Willa. We still have a long road ahead of us.
Therunawaybride: And where, pray tell, were you with this advice when you were meddling in my love life?
Toughtolove: You’re welcome, Tootsie roll.
Therunawaybride: That was not what I meant.
Willoflove: I’ve waited this long, I can wait another six months.
Joydontpissmeofflevine: You all need help!
Joydontpissmeofflevine: And also stay away from Zoe!
CookieJ removed Joydontpissmeofflevine from the group chat.
Love Hive: (Fantastic Four group chat)
Toughtolove: Stay away from the newbie!
CookieJ: Who? Zoe? I thought we were going to help her.
Toughtolove: No, not Zoe. Her very handsome father with a cute butt.
Ninasunshine: Dear Lord…have mercy for that poor man.
CookieJ: Isn’t he a little too young for you?
Toughtolove: A little age gap never hurt nobody. Don’t you read romance? And I’ll have you know my lady parts are as good as new. Very well-oiled. In full bloom.
Ninasunshine: Dear Lord…you just ruined flowers for me.
Willoflove: I’ve heard he’s very content with his bachelor status.
Toughtolove: See, I knew he needed me.
CookieJ: How in the world did you get that from Willa’s words?
Toughtolove: Who wants to live in contentment??? That’s just another word for boring. Or a secret SOS signal, which I’m good at reading.
Ninasunshine: Should we warn him?
CookieJ: Definitely!
Toughtolove: You three stay away from Nerds. Nerds is mine.
Willoflove: He’s doomed. She’s already given him a nickname.
Toughtolove: I think I hear the Universe crying, Willa from your foul words. Go clean your chakras and stay away from mine.
CookieJ: And now she’s territorial.
Ninasunshine: Before you pee on the poor man to stake your claim, make sure you ask him how he feels about golden shower kink.
CookieJ: I see you and Sam started that book we gave you last week. *Wink face*
Willoflove: I will go light a protection candle for Kevin.
Toughtolove: Go light a need-sainthood one for Nina and Jenny with their book choices.
Toughtolove: You have been warned.