38
“A guide?” Charlie laughs as I run a currycomb over Arrow’s jet-black locks.
I stick my tongue out at him. “I could do it. Follow Ford around and learn the ropes. Take guests to the fishing pond.”
“Baby, Ford would run circles around you.”
“I want to help around the ranch, Charlie.” Puffing a lock of hair from my face, I try to frown as fiercely as I can at him.
He raises a brow. His piercing blue eyes dance with laughter. “Help, huh?”
Smiling, I bounce across the grass and into his arms.
I love my silent and broody cowboy, but I love this happy one too.
I run my fingers down his dark beard. “Didn’t you hear? I have to sing for my supper, Cowboy.”
“Not on my ranch.” A low growl rumbles from deep in his chest. “Not on your ranch.”
I blush.
I love this man. With everything in me.
He gives me a lazy grin and leans in for a kiss. Until Arrow shoves his nose between us, earning a low growl of disgruntlement from Charlie. “Bastard,” he says, giving his horse a gentle pat.
My heart flips over in my chest.
This man is in this tenfold. And so am I.
It’s reckless.
It’s devastating.
It’s exactly what I want.
I’m in charge and I chose love. The ranch. Charlie.
Yet my heart wars with my conscience. I’m in the wrong. So wrong. I’m selfish getting into a relationship with Charlie. It’s serious now. It’s forever. If I die, if I get sick, it will destroy him.
I need to tell him.
Soon.
He gave me grace, and I have to give him the truth.
I had my chance last week after he told me about Maggie. He stopped me, but I should have pushed on. Instead, I chickened out.
Doctors’ appointments, new medications down the line ...I can’t hide that forever. My sickness won’t fade away.
I’m delaying it because I’m frightened.
If he sees me differently, or fragile, or sick ...
If I lose him ...
“If you could do anything for work, have any job in the world, what would it be?”
Charlie’s velvet drawl pulls me from my thoughts.
“Open a flower shop.”
He blinks. “In Resurrection?”
“Yes, in Resurrection.” I give a little twirl, pick up the currycomb again and attend to Arrow. The horse snorts his approval, pawing the ground triumphantly. “Bloom’s Blooms. The second iteration.” I wiggle an eyebrow. “Everyone needs flowers. Even grumpy cowboys.”
He chuckles.
“I’d put it on Main Street, in one of those vacant spaces down by The Corner Store. White shutters. Wildflowers.” I glance over at Charlie. His expression has gone from amused to thoughtful. “I bet I’d increase romance tenfold. Even Sheena Wolfington would find someone to love.”
At the rumble of a truck, he glances over his shoulder, his brows hardening. He’s been doing that all afternoon. Watching. On alert. Like he’s expecting someone.
But it’s only Sam sending off a group of guests in a van bound for the Billings airport.
“Everyone’s leaving,” I murmur, lifting my hand to wave at a little girl.
“Yeah,” he tells me. “We’ll get one last wave before they all clear out of here for good.”
“End of summer?”
“End of summer.”
“And then the party?”
Charlie arcs a wicked brow. “Baby, we always have our party.”
I heard all about this big bash from Wyatt. Some honky-tonk celebration that closes down the ranch with beers and bonfires.
“I’m going to put together a video,” I say, setting the currycomb on the fence post. “We can use it as marketing for next year.”
He grunts, but he doesn’t discount the idea, which has my heart doing slow somersaults in my chest. Though I know Charlie will forever be a technology-challenged cowboy, he trusts me and it means so much.
I step over to the blanket draped over a fence post. Charlie follows me, his eyes tracking my motions. I lift the blanket up, and with a heft, toss it across Arrow’s back.
“Is that right?”
“Almost.” Charlie helps me adjust the blanket. “Now the saddle.” His rugged face crinkles as the corner of his lips rise. “Slackin’ on the job, Sunflower.”
I mock gasp and kiss him before heading toward the saddle. We’ve been riding for a few weeks and he’s been doing most of the work. But today, I’ve asked him to show me how to get a horse saddled for a ride.
When I bend to lift the saddle, my heart sputters. Like an engine that’s revved up and then cuts off.
The world spins. Black spots dance in my vision. The sound vanishes from my ears. I sway and fall onto my hands and knees on the green grass.
“Whoa, whoa, hey.” A strong arm bands around my waist. I hear the rough sweep of Charlie’s voice in my ear. “Ruby? Baby?”
A whimper escapes my throat. The erratic thumping in my chest has panic crashing over me. I squeeze my eyes shut as my chest rises and falls in an uneven rhythm.
Charlie’s hold tightens. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
My heart. It stopped.
But I don’t say that.
When I open my eyes, Charlie’s face has worry all over it. “I’m bad at this,” I whisper.
“Nah.” He gives me a sweet grin. “Saddle’s too heavy for you is all.”
But it wasn’t too heavy . It was my heart.
He helps me to standing, and I watch him saddle up Arrow. I don’t miss his dark gaze on me. Wondering, worrying.
Biting my lip, I clutch my chest, willing my hands not to shake, willing my heart to keep pumping.
He’s not stupid. He’s going to figure it out. And if he does, before I come clean ...
I follow Charlie’s long-legged stomping stride back to Arrow, a sense of dread building in my chest.
But it’s quickly replaced by a feeling of strength. My mother’s words echo from somewhere in the cracks of my mind.
Honor your heart until you become it.
He’ll be okay.
We’ll be okay.
I inhale a breath.
Stepping close, I grip his massive forearm and hold tight to him like he can anchor me. Looking up into his eyes of blue, I say, “Charlie, I—”
A clanging noise shatters the calm silence of the ranch. Charlie and I both pull back a little from the loud, screeching metal noise.
A horse trailer sits in the gravel drive. Charlie says nothing, his intent gaze on my face.
Then Wyatt’s hopping out of the cab of the truck with a loud whoop. He opens the back door of the trailer, and after a few tries with the lead rope, the beautiful buttercream-colored colt I’ve loved since I got here backs out of it. The one Charlie took to a buyer in Deer Lodge.
My mouth falls open, and I turn to look at Charlie.
He’s grinning.
“Charlie ...what?” I pause. “I thought he was gone.”
“Not anymore. I called the buyers the day you said you were stayin’. I know how much you love him.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Why? Why would you do this?”
He chuckles as if I’ve asked him the most obvious question in the world. “To make you happy.”
He bridges the gap between us, staring down into my eyes. “He’s yours, baby. If you want him.”
“Of course, I want him. I just ...” A kaleidoscope of joy bursts inside of me as I glance at the horse.
Mine.
This beautiful pony I’ve loved since the day I set foot on the ranch is mine .
What Charlie’s done says so much. Permanence. Forever.
My cowboy would do anything for me.
Hot tears burn the backs of my eyes.
And then I’m jumping into his arms and kissing him with every breath in my body. Kissing him with a desperate need to sear his touch, his lips to my very soul. A rough growl leaves him as he hikes my legs around his waist, pinning me to him.
“Yes.” I gasp, pulling back to cradle his handsome face. “Thank you. I love him. I love you so much, Charlie.”
His throat works like he’s not used to me saying the words. “All he needs is a name, darlin’.”
“Winslow. His name is Winslow.” I don’t even have to think about it. My mind journeys back to that hot Arizona town, the site of my spin-the-bottle roulette, the day I made a choice and decided on my future, even if I didn’t know it at the time.
The day I jumpstarted my heart.