49
W e all watch as the barn goes up in flames.
“No!” Wyatt cries, lunging toward the fire.
I get to him first and pull him away because he’s this close to losing it. I know the feeling.
Everything’s gone. All our equipment. Our tack. Medical supplies.
Gone.
But the horses ...
A dirtied hand clamps down on my shoulder and I glance over. “You okay?” Davis rumbles, his face streaked with soot. He glances down, checking me for injuries.
I nod. “How many?” I scan the pasture and run a hand through my sweaty hair. All I care about is the horses. “How many did we lose?”
“None.” My oldest brother’s voice is stunned. “We got ‘em all.”
“Thank God,” Wyatt chokes out, swiping at his eyes.
I’m nearly felled with relief.
Thank fuck, the barn was a new building. Old wood and we wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of getting any horses out. We’ll have to get a vet down here to check them all over, but it’s a miracle they all survived.
“DVL,” Davis bites out.
A vein pulses in my temple, and rage blurs the edge of my vision. Someone will pay for this.
But later.
First, I have to find Ruby.
Chest heaving, I scan the ranch. Rainwater soaks everything, and the fire slows to a sputter. Ford’s on his phone, pacing back and forth on the gravel drive, trying to get a signal.
That’s when I see her.
Her body lies limp and motionless, collapsed into a dead faint on the grass.
My entire world crashes around me, and I break into a run. When I reach her, I fall to my knees beside her. Fear grabs me by the throat as I take in her pale face. She’s unconscious, lips parted, soot streaking her face and clothes.
She fainted. She never should have been out here. She’s done more for the ranch than she ever should have.
“Ruby.” My voice comes out harsher than I want, harsher than I’d ever speak to her, but the tightness in my gut twists. I cradle her slack face in my hands, trying to rouse her. “Baby, wake up.”
No response.
My frantic fingers move straight to her throat. I check her pulse, waiting for that wild, hammering beat.
But there isn’t one.
“This isn’t fucking funny,” I grit out hoarsely. “Ruby. Come on, baby, get up. Get up.”
I don’t feel her heartbeat. I don’t feel anything.
Panic turns to all-consuming terror as I stare down at her still form. A buzzing static fills my head and my blood turns to ice.
I hover a palm above her lips. Dip my head to her chest and listen.
For life.
For her beautiful beat.
Nothing.
Her chest isn’t moving.
She isn’t breathing.
That little light that shined inside since I met her—it’s gone. I can’t feel it. Her sun. Her glow. My sunflower.
That connection that tethered her to me.
I can’t reach her.
The thought sends me to the fucking grave.
A keening, protective cry rises out of me. “No. No!” I shake her. “Ruby!”
I lift her petite frame into my arms, clinging to her, burying my face in her neck. Her head falls backward over my elbow. She feels broken and fragile and so fucking lifeless that I lose my goddamn mind.
“Don’t do this,” I whisper, rocking her against me. “Don’t fucking leave me.” I stroke her damp hair, dark from the rain. “Baby, please. Come back to me. Wake up. Wake the fuck up.”
“Charlie.” Davis grabs my shoulder. He’s on his knees beside me. There’s sorrow and fear in Davis’s eyes and it terrifies me. He’s always composed.
When he isn’t, it means—
“She’s not breathing,” I scream.
Ford has his phone to his ear, his face grave. “We need an ambulance!” he barks. “Now! Get here now!”
“Put her down,” Davis instructs. “Put her down, Charlie.”
My skin turns to ice. The world has shut off. Tears burn my eyelids. My fucking heart has stopped beating.
How do you start a heart?
You just kiss me, Cowboy.
Words from a lifetime ago.
Words that jumpstart me.
I lay her tiny body down on the grass and start chest compressions.
Tipping her head back, I lock my lips over hers.
All of my air, all of my life, she can have it.
“Breathe, breathe ,” I demand against her already cold lips. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t you fucking leave me. Please, Ruby. Please .”
Time slows down.
Stops.
I can’t stop. I can’t.
Not when she needs me.
Her beautiful heart—I won’t let it go.
Sweat drips down my brow, into my eyes. The crack of her rib doesn’t register, neither does Ford screaming into the phone, the rain soaking my shirt or the ache in my arms, the burn in my chest.
All I see is Ruby. Her pale face tipped toward the sky, rose-gold hair spread out across the grass. Blue moonlight on her face.
Ruby at my kitchen island, barefoot, laughing. Her sweet, smiling face burned bright in my memory. My sunflower. My heart and soul.
The woman I love.
The woman I need.
Stopping compressions, I check her wrist for a pulse.
Nothing.
“No,” I choke out.
Grief capsizes me. I collapse on top of her, cradling her tiny frame in my arms. My beating heart, my precious girl. “Take it,” I tell her hoarsely. “My breath, my soul. Take it.” A sob rips through me. “Breathe, baby. Just fucking breathe.”
Lifting my face, I wait for her chest to rise. For her lips to draw air.
Instead—nothing.
“Sunflower.” My voice breaks.
I bury my face in her neck and cry. “I am begging you, come back to me. I need you. I need you so goddamn much.”
I sob and plead. Anything. Anything to bring her back to me.
“Charlie.” Davis’s voice is tight. “Stop.”
Sounds distort. The heavy hands of my brothers clamp down on my shoulders, wrestling me away from Ruby.
“No!” I shout desperately, swinging a fist as I’m pulled backward, punching nothing but air. No one’s taking me from her. “Don’t fucking touch her!”
Wyatt locks his arms around my chest, holds tight. “Calm your ass down,” he hisses.
“It’s been ten minutes,” comes Davis’s grim reply. His eyes intense, he positions himself over Ruby and tips her head back. “You have to rest, man. Let me take a turn.”
It takes me a second to realize Davis isn’t trying to take her from me. He’s trying to help.
Panting, I nod.
Davis locks his fierce gaze on mine. “We’ll switch off until she’s breathing.”
Numb, I watch as my brother begins CPR.
Breathe.
Breathe, Ruby. Come back to me.