Chapter Thirty #2
The pressure of his touch increased, finding a rhythm that made her tremble. The thought of being so exposed, bent over the railing with him behind her where anyone might see only heightened her arousal.
He withdrew his fingers momentarily, and she nearly whimpered at the loss before she felt him shift behind her. The rustle of clothing, the sound of a belt being unfastened—each noise heightened her anticipation until she thought she might combust from wanting alone.
“Is this what you want?” he asked, his voice strained with his own need.
“Yes,” Cassara breathed, her voice barely audible above the night breeze that caressed her exposed skin. “Gods, yes, Auren. Please.”
She felt his chest press against her back, his hand sliding possessively around her hip. The head of his cock teased against her entrance, and she pushed back instinctively, desperate for more.
When he finally pushed inside, it was with exquisite restraint, a slow, careful claiming that made her gasp. Her body yielded to him, accepting each measured inch.
“Look at the stars,” he murmured, his chest pressed to her back as he slowly, achingly pushed deeper. “I want you to remember this moment every time you look up at them.”
Cassara’s gaze lifted to the vast expanse above, the glittering star scape swimming in her vision. Waves of pleasure cascaded through her body, her inner walls stretching to accommodate him.
“Oh gods,” she gasped when he was fully seated within her. The feeling of completeness overwhelmed her senses.
Then he began to move. His thrusts were agonizingly slow, gentle, a stark contrast to the fierce intensity of his earlier touches. His hands found her hips, holding her steady as he withdrew almost completely before sliding back in.
“You feel incredible,” he groaned, his breath hot against her neck.
One hand slid up her side. Pushing fabric aside to cup her breast, thumb circling her bared nipple in time with his languid strokes.
She arched her back, changing the angle slightly, and a soft moan escaped her lips as he struck something deep within.
“There,” she managed, her voice breaking. “Right there.”
Auren complied, his rhythm steady but gradually increasing in intensity. His hand slid up her spine to tangle in her hair, tugging just enough to arch her neck back. The subtle display of dominance from her usually composed combat instructor made something primal awaken inside of her.
“You’re perfect,” he growled, his controlled pace finally beginning to falter. His thrusts grew deeper, more insistent, the gentleness giving way to something more urgent.
She pushed back against him, meeting his increasingly powerful thrusts with equal fervor. Her body was no longer her own but an instrument being played, every nerve ending alive with sensation.
When his hand slid around to find her clit, Cassara nearly sobbed with need. Her release built rapidly under his skilled touch, the dual stimulation threatening to unravel her completely.
Cassara gripped the railing tighter, her knuckles turning white, each thrust driving her closer to the edge, her legs trembling with the effort to remain standing.
“Auren,” she gasped, the syllables of his name breaking apart as he increased his tempo. “I can’t— I’m going to—”
His hand left her hair and clamped firmly over her mouth. The gesture was both commanding and intimate, sending another wave of heat through her core.
“Shhh,” he whispered against her ear, his breath hot and ragged. “What I’m about to make you feel isn’t for anyone else to hear.” She moaned against his palm, her body tightening around him, each circle of his fingers sending her higher.
When the orgasm hit, Auren held her firmly against him, his fingers still working relentlessly against her sensitive flesh as he chased his own release.
The strokes prolonged her climax, drawing it out until she thought she might shatter completely.
Through the haze of her pleasure, she felt his rhythm falter, his breathing harsh against her neck as his body tensed.
With a final, powerful thrust, he buried himself completely inside her.
She felt him pulse within her as he reached his own climax, his hand pressing harder against her mouth, silencing the whimpers that continued to escape her.
His groan was barely contained against her shoulder as he bit down gently on the sensitive skin there.
The sharp sting only heightened her pleasure, drawing out the aftershocks that still rippled through her body.
Slowly, he removed his hand from her mouth, replacing it with his lips in a kiss that was surprisingly tender after such intensity.
“Are you alright?” he murmured, his hands now gentle as they smoothed over her hips, her waist.
Cassara nodded. Her legs felt like water, her mind deliciously empty of everything but sensation.
Auren turned her in his arms, his expression a mixture of concern and lingering desire as he studied her face.
His thumb brushed across her lower lip, red and swollen from their kisses and her own attempts to stay quiet.
“I didn’t hurt you?” he asked as he carefully helped her stand upright, steadying her when she swayed slightly.
“No,” she finally managed, her voice hoarse. “That was…” Words failed her, and she laughed softly, resting her forehead against his chest. “I don’t think I can walk back to my room yet.”
His chuckle rumbled against her cheek as he held her close, one hand stroking soothingly down her spine. “Give it a moment.”
She nodded, her eyes drifting closed as she savored the feeling of his heartbeat, the rapid thudding gradually slowing, matching the calming rhythm of her own. Auren’s warmth enveloped her, his arms a sanctuary she hadn’t known she needed.
“I never realized it but… I’ve wanted this for so long,” she admitted, the words escaping before her usual defenses could silence them. The victory wine still hummed in her veins, making honesty easier than it had been before. “Not… this. But someone. Like this. Like you. Seeing me. Just me.”
His fingers tangled in her hair, tilting her face up. The tenderness in his eyes made her breath catch.
“I’ve always seen you, Cassara.” His thumb traced the curve of her cheek. “That’s been the problem.”
He kissed her then, so unlike the hungry desperation from before. This kiss was soft, the gentle press of his lips against hers making her heart flutter in ways that both terrified and thrilled her.
When they parted, she felt strangely shy, despite the intimacy they’d just shared. “What happens now?” she asked, her voice small.
Auren’s smile held a touch of wryness. “Now I make sure you get back to your room without being seen looking thoroughly debauched by your instructor.”
“Debauched?” She laughed, the sound breaking some of the tension. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”
“What would you call it?” His eyes held that dangerous glint again, the one that made heat pool low in her belly even as her body still trembled from release.
“A victory celebration,” she replied, finding her confidence again as she pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw.
He groaned softly. “You’re dangerous, beast tamer.”
Cassara smiled, still catching her breath. “I know.”
She stepped back slightly, testing her legs. They still felt shaky, but no longer like they would collapse beneath her. Carefully, she adjusted her clothing, smoothing down her skirt and redoing the buttons of her shirt with fingers that only trembled slightly.
Auren watched her with heavy-lidded eyes, making no move to hide his appreciation. When she finished, he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“You’re beautiful,” he said.
The compliment, delivered without artifice or agenda, made her cheeks flush anew.
She’d been called beautiful before, usually by people who wanted something from her or her family.
But the way Auren said it, like he was simply stating a fact about the world, made it feel true for perhaps the first time in her life.
The dormitory was blissfully quiet when Cassara slipped back inside, her roommates either still celebrating or long since asleep.
She moved carefully through the darkened space, hyperaware of every creak of floorboard, every rustle of fabric.
The last thing she needed was questions about where she’d been or why her hair looked like she’d been caught in a windstorm.
Once safely behind her bed curtains, she sank onto the mattress with a soft exhale.
Her body still hummed with contentment, muscles loose and pliant in ways that made her want to stretch like a cat in sunlight.
She could still feel the memory of Auren’s hands gripping her hips, still taste him on her lips.
Flicker materialized without being summoned, his small form padding across the blanket to curl against her hip with a satisfied chirp. He looked up at her and she could swear there was approval there, or maybe amusement at her thoroughly disheveled state.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispered, but there was no real reproach in it. “You’re the one who decided to be heroic today.”
Happy.
The singular word echoed in her mind.
He purred softly, settling into his chosen spot like he belonged there. Which, she supposed, he did.
Cassara reached under her pillow and pulled out her mother’s journal, the leather warm and familiar in her hands. She flipped past pages of her mother’s careful script to find the next blank sheet, pen poised over parchment for a long moment before she began to write.
Today we won. Not just the match, but something more. I led them and they followed. Even when Verena broke formation and nearly cost us everything, we adapted. We survived. We triumphed.
I understand now what you meant when you wrote about finding your place. It’s not about being the strongest or the smartest or living up to everyone else’s expectations. It’s about becoming who you’re meant to be, even if that person surprises you.
Especially then.
She paused, pen hovering over the page as warmth spread through her, not from wine this time, but from memory. From the way he’d looked at her afterward, like she was precious. Like she mattered.
And after… there was someone waiting.
Her lips curved without her permission, slow and certain.
I can’t write his name, can’t risk it.
But it’s someone who saw all of it and didn’t flinch. Who let me be fierce and messy and victorious, and wanted me anyway.
For the first time, that feels like enough, maybe more than enough.
I think I’m falling in love with him. The terrifying, reckless, completely impractical kind that changes everything. I should be scared. Part of me is. But mostly I’m just… grateful. That someone like him exists. That somehow, impossibly, he chose me too.
I wish you were here to tell me what to do. But maybe that’s the point, I have to figure this out myself. Make my own choices. Live with my own consequences.
I think you’d like him. I think you’d understand.
Cassara set down her pen and closed the journal, tucking it back under her pillow beside Flicker’s warm bulk. Outside her curtains, the dormitory remained peaceful, her roommates safely asleep and unaware of how thoroughly she had been undone by starlight and gentle hands.
She settled back against her pillows, one hand resting lightly on Flicker’s fur. Tomorrow would bring complications, it always did. Julian’s suspicions, her father’s expectations, the careful dance of pretending that nothing had changed between her and her instructor.
But tonight, she was exactly where she belonged. In her own bed, in her own skin, with her own choices written in her own hand.
For the first time in her life, that felt like victory enough.
She fell asleep smiling and didn’t dream of expectations, or failure, or legacy.
Only of stars.
And fire.
And a voice in the dark saying her name like it meant something.