Chapter Eight
“Will there by anything else, Mr. St. James?”
Redford glanced up at Maurice, the man who usually waited on him whenever he dined at Toni’s, one of the most exclusive restaurants in downtown Anchorage. He’d been caught in deep thought, which was how things had been for the past month, and those thoughts were always on one person. Carmen Golan.
“No, Maurice, that will be all.”
The man nodded and walked off. Redford figured Maurice noticed he wasn’t his usual fun-loving self. Another thing the waiter probably noticed was that he’d been alone again. Usually whenever he dined here to enjoy a great meal and the live entertainment, he would do so with a woman. A woman he usually intended to sleep with before the night was over. Not this time, and not the other few times he’d come here since returning to Anchorage, and all because of Carmen.
How had one woman obliterated his desire for others? He hadn’t known such a thing was possible. Especially for him. But four weeks later, he had to admit a night spent with Carmen had been a mind-blowing experience. What had knocked the hell out of him more than anything was discovering she’d been a virgin. That meant her experience level hadn’t had a thing to do with her ability to infiltrate his mind and body the way she’d done. Other women with a lot more skill hadn’t affected him this way. Even now, just thinking about her made sexual need curl in his stomach.
How could she still evoke such a strong sexual reaction from him a month later? What kind of passion had they shared that propelled him to break all his rules? Hell, he’d even slept through the night with her cradled in his arms. Something he’d never done with anyone else.
Dammit. What was even stranger was that he’d rushed back to Anchorage to reclaim his senses, but that hadn’t helped one iota. Memories of their one night together were so strong they were damn unforgettable.
Never had a night with a woman left such a profound mark on him. He’d tried everything. Not even throwing himself into his work had helped. Her hold on him had him unsettled, agitated and downright troubled.
Why was he torturing himself this way? The sex with Carmen had been good. It had been great, off the charts, the best he ever had...but it was time to move on to the next conquest. So why couldn’t he? He was certain whatever he was going through was just a phase he would eventually get over. Dammit, he had to.
After bidding Maurice goodnight, Redford walked to his car. It was windy tonight with a bit of chill in the air. That bite of cold reminded him that regardless of the fact it was July, he was in Alaska. Chilly summers were normal here. In the distance, he heard the sound of jazz music and knew an outdoor summer musical festival was happening somewhere beneath a late-night sunset.
When he’d arrived in Anchorage for college, he’d known he would make this city his home. Having the largest population of college students in the entire state of Alaska, there were always things to do, places to go and festivals to attend. Energy and adventure always seemed to flow in the air. He loved everything about Anchorage, and it was here that he’d built an empire he was proud of.
Less than an hour later, he arrived home with Carmen still on his mind. He had no regrets about that night. Even though he’d been tempted to break his own rule of not doing the same woman twice by calling Leslie for Carmen’s phone number. At least that had been his thoughts before his conversation with Sloan a few days ago. Sloan had informed Redford that Leslie was royally pissed with him and had warned him not to call her about anything concerning Carmen.
From what Sloan had said, apparently Carmen had assumed that night had been a game-changer for them. A kickoff to what she thought would be their great love affair. Instead, she’d discovered she had been nothing more than a “one-and-done” like all the others.
He had racked his brain to recall what he might have said for her to make her think such a thing. Granted, he had told her he wanted to make her his...he’d meant just for that night.
Now more than ever he wished he would have clearly reiterated just how things were between them. Especially after discovering she was a virgin. However, by then, he was too much of a goner. It had to have been the novelty of making out with a virgin that had gotten to him. And regardless of Candy’s claims, he’d never had sex with a virgin before.
Redford tossed his keys on the table before heading to his bedroom. He would take a shower and go to sleep. Tonight, the memories would not siege his mind like they had all those other nights.
He hoped.
“You’re in the hospital?”
Carmen heard alarm in her best friend’s voice. She had waited until now to call Leslie for that very reason. “Yes, but I’m okay,” she said in what she hoped was a reassuring voice.
“What happened?”
Carmen swallowed to fight back her tears and hoped Leslie didn’t hear the sadness in her voice. “I’ve been sick for the past week and couldn’t hold down any food. Things got worse and I got dehydrated. My doctor sent me straight from her office to the hospital.”
“Was it food poisoning? A virus? Covid? An allergic reaction to something?”
“It wasn’t any of those things, Leslie.”
“Then what was it?”
Carmen paused and then said, “The doctor believes it might be a severe case of morning sickness that she’s hoping won’t turn into hyperemesis gravidarum.”
“Morning sickness? Hyperemesis gravidarum?”
“Yes.”
Of course, it didn’t take long for Leslie to know what that meant. “You’re pregnant?”
“You don’t have to scream in my ear,” Carmen said, holding the phone away from her face. “And to answer your question, yes, I’m pregnant. When I began suffering from bouts of nausea, I assumed it was a virus because I was throwing up all day and not just in the mornings. When I was late, I just assumed the virus had thrown my body off schedule. After my lab work, the doctor told me otherwise.” Carmen paused again and then said, “I guess I don’t have to tell you who’s my baby’s father.”
It seemed to take a while for Leslie to recover. “Of course, you don’t. When are you going to tell Redford?”
Carmen drew in a deep breath. “I’m not. At least not yet. Dr. Richardson has explained that at present my pregnancy is considered high risk,” she said, still fighting back tears. “I’m at risk of losing the baby.”
“Oh no, Carmen.”
Wiping tears from her eyes that she was glad Leslie wasn’t there to see, Carmen added, “Taking care of myself and my baby is more important than telling a man who doesn’t want kids that he’s going to be a father.”
“I hear you, Carmen, but regardless of whether Redford wants kids or not, he has a right to know about your condition.”
“I’m not saying I won’t tell him. I just won’t tell him yet.”
When Leslie didn’t say anything, Carmen added, “And I prefer that you not mention anything to Sloan. He and Redford are thick as thieves, and Sloan might not feel comfortable keeping news of my pregnancy from him.”
“You’re right, he wouldn’t feel comfortable keeping it from Redford. It’s your decision as to when you tell him, so I won’t say anything to Sloan.”
“Thanks, Leslie.”
“What does the doctor recommend, Carmen?”
“For now, six weeks of bed rest. I’ll be on a strict diet geared to reducing nausea and dehydration. Unfortunately, the doctor won’t release me to go home unless she knows someone will be there to assist me for the first week. After that she’s arranged a nursing service to visit me twice a week to make sure I’m doing okay.” Carmen paused and then said, “As you know, Chandra and her family are out of the country for the summer visiting the folks in Cape Town.”
At first Carmen had planned to join them until she’d decided to begin writing her academic papers to be published next year. It would have taken her the entire summer to get started. Now it looked like she would be confined to bed rest most of the summer instead.
“I know this is a lot to ask, Leslie, but could you fly here so the doctor will release me from the hospital tomorrow? Then I can get one of my neighbors to check on me during the day for a week.”
“Of course, I’ll come there, and don’t bother your neighbors, Carmen. I will fly out first thing in the morning and stay for a week. Longer if you need me. I’ll need a reason to tell Sloan as to why I need to take an unexpected trip to DC for a while, but I’ll think of something.”
“I hate putting you in this predicament, Leslie. I know it’s a lot asking you to keep anything from him.”
“Let me worry about that. All I want is for you to take care of yourself and my future godchild.”
Her future godchild... That made Carmen smile. “Thanks, Leslie. You’re the best. And like I told you, I’ll eventually tell Redford, but he’s the least of my worries right now.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Leslie said, through what sounded like gritted teeth.
“You will do no such thing. Once I got over being angry and hurt, I was able to accept the fact that Redford never lied to me. The only lie was the one I told myself. I knew his type. Had known it from the very beginning. However, on that night I’d gotten it into my head that he had accepted his place in my life as my soulmate. It wasn’t anything he’d said but what I had wanted to believe. For that reason, I lowered my guard, thinking he’d finally realized I was different from all those other women.”
She paused a moment and then added, “I lost more than my virginity that night, Leslie. I lost my common sense to a man who was a master at seduction. A heartbreaker. A womanizer. In the end, he treated me just like he did the others. He slept with me with no intention of there being anything beyond that. I was wrong to think there would be more. That was my fault and not his. You tried to tell me. Now I wish I had listened.”
Fighting back tears, she continued, “I now accept that Redford was never my soulmate and I was never his. There are no soulmates in my future. It was just an illusion I allowed my mind to concoct. For some people, true love does exist, but I’ve accepted that I’m not one of them.”
“Carmen...”
“I’m fine, Leslie. I remember when one of my fellow professors came to school heartbroken because her boyfriend had lost interest in her. I can now top that. Redford didn’t lose interest since there was never any interest on his part anyway. Just on mine.”
Wiping away tears, she added, “Accepting my mistake about Redford is the least of my worries now. It’s up to me to make sure I give my baby a fighting chance by doing what the doctor says needs to be done. Once the shock that I was pregnant wore off, and the doctor explained I could miscarry if I didn’t take care of myself, I knew I wanted this baby even if Redford didn’t.”
“I believe Redford will want the baby, too, Carmen.”
She shrugged. “I know what he told me, Leslie. That he didn’t ever want kids. But it doesn’t matter. Like you said, he has a right to know, and I will eventually tell him. But I don’t plan to hold my breath that he will change his mind about fatherhood.” She sighed deeply and then said in a soft voice, “I honestly don’t know how this pregnancy happened when I know for certain he used protection. I saw him put it on. Of course, I wasn’t using anything because I wasn’t sexually active and hadn’t planned to be. But it doesn’t matter how I got pregnant, the fact is that I am.”
“The most important thing right now is getting you released from the hospital and home to be taken care of,” Leslie said. “I’ll be there tomorrow. Don’t worry about a thing, Carmen.”