Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
It had been a while since Cal had stepped inside a church. The last time had been for his mama’s funeral. He expected to feel the sharp pain of loss. But his sadness over his mother’s passing was dulled beneath another loss.
His affair with Jolene was over.
She had kicked him out of her office without even a flicker of regret. He couldn’t blame her. He knew he had hurt her with his words. But she had hurt him too. She’d lied to him. Not only about Cheyenne, but also about the loan. The last person he wanted to see him as a charity case was Jolene.
“Well, I’m surprised that you would show your face in the Lord’s house after what you did, Cal Daily.”
Cal turned to see Luanne standing there, glaring at him in all her Christmas sweater splendor.
Her many bracelets rattled as she shook a finger at him.
“Shame on you for firing my Nathan. He told me and his daddy what he did wrong. And while Bud agrees you should’ve fired him, I think it was way too harsh.
He has a major crush on Cheyenne. Of course he would do whatever she asked him to.
Bud does what I say . . . well, sometimes.
But when we were first dating, he did whatever I wanted.
Was it wrong what Nathan did? Of course it was.
But you getting after him was punishment enough.
He thinks the world of you and loves his job. You just broke his heart.”
Cal had already started feeling guilty about taking his anger out on Nathan, and Luanne’s speech made him feel even worse. Over the last few weeks, he’d gotten attached to the kid and felt bad that he’d hurt him with his rash words.
“You’re right,” he said. “I shouldn’t have fired him. I’ll talk to him after rehearsal. If he wants his job back, it’s his.”
Luanne smiled brightly and gave him a big hug.
“I can see why Nathan looks up to you, Cal Daily. You’re a much more reasonable man than I thought.
” She drew back. “And now that you got over your wife leaving you and are no longer as grumpy as a rattlesnake, I going to find you a good woman.” She glanced at the stage where Raynelle Coffman was trying to keep the cowboy and cowgirl shepherds from roping each other.
“In fact, I happen to have the perfect good ol’ gal in mind.
” She looked back at him. “What do you think about blue hair?”
Cal cleared his throat. “Uhh . . . blue hair is . . . nice. I’m just not really interested in dating right now. I’m looking for Cheyenne. Have you seen her?”
“I shore have. She’s in the bathroom getting her costume on for the dress rehearsal. Just wait until you see how pretty she looks.”
Cal sighed with relief. After leaving the bank, he’d looked all over for Cheyenne and had been more than a little worried when he couldn’t find her.
“Could you go tell her that I’m here and would like to talk—”
Maisy’s loud voice cut him off. “Places everyone! We need to get this rehearsal started before all the angels fall asleep.”
Luanne patted his arm. “Sorry, Cal. You’ll have to talk to Cheyenne after.” She winked at him. “And you let me know if you change your mind about dating. Mature women know a lot more tricks than young ones.”
Since he didn’t know how to reply to that, he simply nodded and took a seat in a pew to wait for the rehearsal to end. The cute little angels and shepherds singing about Jesus’s birth in off-key voices and waving at their moms and dads caused some of the tension to leave Cal’s body.
He remembered the first holiday show Cheyenne had been in.
She’d been in preschool and Clarissa had curled Cheyenne’s hair and placed a big red bow right on the top of her head so she looked like the perfect little gift.
She sang “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” with the rest of her class.
But when she spotted Cal sitting in the audience, she had stopped singing and yelled loudly “Hey, Daddy!” All the parents had laughed, but Cal hadn’t.
Tears had filled his eyes and his heart had just about burst from love.
Just like now.
When Cheyenne stepped out on stage, Cal struggled to keep from crying like a baby.
Gone was the cute little freckled-face girl with a bow on her head, and in her place was a beautiful young woman.
It surprised him that she looked so much like Clarissa when Cal had first met her.
Cheyenne’s hair was about the same length, and she had Clarissa’s slender figure.
As Cal watched her say her lines, he wondered when his baby girl had grown up and how he hadn’t noticed.
Probably because he hadn’t wanted to notice.
He’d wanted to keep Cheyenne little for as long as he could . . . because little kids don’t leave.
A tap on his arm had him glancing over to find Miss Gertie sitting next to him.
He had been so wrapped up in his epiphany that he hadn’t noticed the older woman taking a seat next to him.
Her aged eyes held compassion and her wrinkled hand held out a tissue.
It took him a moment to realize that the tissue was for him.
Tears had leaked out of his eyes and down his cheeks.
He took the tissue and brushed at his cheeks. “Sorry. I forgot how emotional the Christmas story is.”
“No need to apologize. In my opinion, a man who doesn’t cry isn’t much of a man at all.” Miss Gertie looked back at the stage. “Now hush so I can watch Gray Dove’s part.”
Cheyenne slipped behind the stable Boone had made and returned cradling Miss Gertie’s niece.
The sight made more tears collect in Cal’s eyes and he tried to nonchalantly blot them away with the tissue.
It was an emotional relief when the play was over and Maisy called everyone together to give them their last instructions before she ended the rehearsal.
Miss Gertie glanced over at Cal. “Cheyenne stopped by the boardinghouse this afternoon.” So that’s where she went after she left the garage. Cal should’ve known that Cheyenne would head to Miss Gertie.
Cal sighed. “I guess she’s pretty upset with me.”
“She was, but I think she’s more upset about what happened with Joey Mac. She’s starting to think that your theory might be right.”
He stared at her. “What theory?”
“That love only hurts and it’s best to stay away from it.”
Cal cringed and glanced back at the stage. “Damn.”
“Watch your mouth in the Lord’s house. Although it is a damn shame that’s the kind of message you’ve sent your daughter.
” Miss Gertie’s piercing eyes stared right through him.
“I know life hasn’t been easy for you. I know you’ve been through a lot of pain.
But sometimes we make things even harder on ourselves by absorbing that pain instead of letting it go.
The more pain we absorb, the more bitter and closed off we become.
I know in my heart you don’t want your bitterness to keep Cheyenne from being happy. ”
Cal looked back at Cheyenne and felt his heart twist. “What if I don’t know how to let go?”
Miss Gertie reached over and patted his knee.
“You do. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve already started letting the past go.
That’s why you’ve been so happy lately.” She snorted.
“Although the silly folks of this town are convinced you were visited by three ghosts. Now I’m a firm believer in ghosts, but I think your happiness has more to do with falling in love. ”
Cal stared at her. “Love?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Cal Daily. When a man who doesn’t smile much starts grinning like a Cheshire cat and whistling like a bird in spring, those are sure signs he’s been bitten by the love bug.”
He wanted to argue, but his broken heart wouldn’t let him. He hadn’t wanted any strings or attachments from his secret affair, but that hadn’t stopped him from being wound up as tight as a ball of yarn.
He wasn’t falling in love with Jolene. He loved her.
That was why he’d gotten so mad at her. He was scared.
Scared of being as hurt as he felt now. He only had himself to blame.
He had tried so hard not to be like his daddy, but he’d turned out just like him.
His daddy got ticked off if people hadn’t given him handouts and Cal got ticked off if they did.
He’d gotten after Cheyenne for being too prideful, but he had the same problem.
Why couldn’t he be more like Jolene? She accepted help from her friends graciously, knowing that it wasn’t out of pity but out of love.
Jolene was his friend. A friend he didn’t want to lose.
Miss Gertie placed Butler in his basket and got up. “Well, I best be going. I don’t want Reba and Gray Dove leaving without me. You should see the cute little doll I got her for Christmas.” She looked down at him. “What did you get Cheyenne?”
“Books and a new toolbox.”
The old woman rolled her eyes and snorted.
“It’s a good thing that God is watching out for you, Cal Daily.
I’ve got a feeling that Cheyenne is going to get exactly what she wants regardless of her father’s horrible shopping ability.
” She grabbed her walker and headed down the aisle, whistling as she went.
Not just any song, but Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.”
He was still staring at the old woman’s back in disbelief when Cheyenne spoke.
“Hey, Daddy.”
He turned to his daughter. She looked as beautiful and grown up as she had on stage. He realized it was time to accept that his little girl wasn’t little anymore.
“You were wonderful, sweetheart,” he said.
She shrugged. “I was okay. Nathan did a much better job of acting than I did. Every time I glanced over at him, he was looking at me like I really was Mary—like I was the most special woman in the world.”
Cal smiled. “I don’t think he was acting, honey.”
Cheyenne’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Nathan likes you. You’ve just been so wrapped up in Joey Mac, you haven’t noticed.”
She glanced back at the altar where Nathan was helping to take down the stage. “But he never said a word.”
“He thinks you’ve already given your heart.”
She stared at Nathan for a moment more before she flopped down in the pew and blew out her breath. “You’re right, Daddy. I’m too young for love. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it. It just makes you feel confused and hurt.”
Miss Gertie was right. He’d taught his daughter well. And now it was time to correct his mistake. He put his arm around her and pulled her close.
“Love can be confusing and hurtful. But it’s also the most wonderful emotion in the world. There’s nothing better than falling in love.”
She tucked her face into his shoulder. “Even if the other person doesn’t love you back?”
“Even then. Your mama loved me. I think she still does. I just wasn’t quite the right fit for her. It hurts when someone you think is perfect for you doesn’t feel the same way. But that shouldn’t make you give up on love.” He paused. “It sure shouldn’t have made me give up on it.”
Cheyenne spoke in a quivery voice that just about broke Cal’s heart. “Joey Mac doesn’t like me. He likes Jen Jacobs.”
Cal knew there was nothing he could say to make her hurt less so he only pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. They sat there for a few minutes before she spoke.
“I’m so stupid. I bought a new sweater and lied to my daddy and went to a party I didn’t even really want to go to, all because I wanted Joey Mac to like me like I liked him.
” She sighed. “I guess Nate and I both did things that weren’t right all because we wanted someone to like us.
But I just now figured out that you shouldn’t have to do things that make you uncomfortable just to get someone to like you.
They either like you for who you are or they don’t.
And there’s nothing you can do to change that. ”
He drew her back so he could look into her eyes that were identical to his.
“How did I get such a smart kid? It took me my entire life to learn that and it only took you one night. I’m sorry Joey Mac chose someone else.
I’m sorry your mama did too. But it’s their loss because we are two good catches.
” She giggled, and he smiled. She would always be his giggling little girl .
. . who he needed to let grow up. He hesitated for only a second before he said what needed to be said.
Although it still wasn’t easy to get the words out. “You can date.”
She stared at him with wide eyes. “What? I thought I couldn’t date until I was sixteen.”
“I changed my mind.” He pointed a finger at her. “But I have to meet the boy first and curfew is nine thirty.”
“Nine thirty?”
“Fine. Ten thirty.”
Cheyenne gave him a big hug. “Thank you, Daddy.” She drew back. “But what about you? You need to start dating too.”
He could just see his daughter’s brain working, trying to come up with the perfect woman for him to ask out. But there was only woman he wanted to date. Even if the chances of her wanting to see him again were slim to none, he was going to give it his best shot.
“Actually, I already have started dating.”
Cheyenne’s eyes widened. “You started dating? Who? When?”
“Jolene Applegate. A few weeks ago.”
“But you two have nothing in common.”
“Sometimes you don’t have to have a lot in common to make a love connection,” he said.
Although Cal now knew that he and Jolene had quite a lot in common.
They had both grown up here in Simple and had small town values and beliefs.
They were both hard workers and business owners.
And they both enjoyed cuddling up next to a fire and talking until the embers burned low.
He missed that. He missed it so damn much.
“You love her?” Cheyenne’s voice cut into his thoughts.
He nodded. “I love her a lot. But I let my pride get the best of me and said some hurtful things to Jolene. And she kicked me out of her office.”
“Daaad-dy!”
“I know. I’m an idiot.”
“Occasionally.” She grinned. “But you always come around. So just apologize to her.”
“I don’t think a simple apology is going to work, honey.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Pretty bad.”
They sat there for a moment before Cheyenne perked up. “Emma hurt Boone pretty bad, but she came up with a great plan to get him back. She painted signs all over town telling him how much she loved him.”
Cal shook his head. “I’m not painting Cal Loves Jolene all over the town. I’m not the kind of person who does things like that.”
Cheyenne sent him an annoyed look. “If you want Jolene back, then maybe you need to become one.”