20. Delilah
DELILAH
I tried to hold back the wave of emotion as I met Jasper’s gaze.
I had no right to picture the tall, ruggedly handsome man next to me standing in front of me, holding my hand, and promising to love, honor, and cherish me for the rest of our lives.
But for some reason, I did. Jasper had thrown a wrench in my carefully constructed plans.
A wrench that I wanted to grab onto and never let go.
“It’s time for the butterflies,” he reminded me. His voice had gone soft.
Reluctantly, I shifted my gaze away from his in time to see a horde of butterflies emerge from a stand of shrubs behind the arbor. They rose into the air, their wings fluttering against a backdrop of the late afternoon Texas sky.
I squeezed his hand tighter. “They’re beautiful.”
“So are you.” His warm breath brushed my cheek as he leaned closer to whisper into my ear.
A chill raced through me and I turned my head, almost causing us to bump noses.
He pulled away and tilted his head back. “There they go. How many hours did we spend collecting butterflies? And they’re gone in a blink of an eye.”
“Some things don’t have to last a long time to make a lasting impression.” My lungs filled as I drew in a breath.
One side of his mouth ticked up. “Is that so?”
I nodded, realizing the unspoken understanding between us. Maybe that was all this would be. A moment of attraction we’d both recognize before realizing it wasn’t meant to be.
As the last of the butterflies fluttered away, Abby’s voice rose over the crowd. She sang a sweet song about finding the love of a lifetime as the bride and groom walked down the aisle.
“Your sister has a gorgeous voice.” The crowd began to leave their seats, and I let my fingers fall from his.
Jasper took a half step to his left, putting a breath of distance between us. “Yeah, she sure does.”
The song wrapped up and the guests milled around the patio, some of them already starting to make their way over to the tent where the reception would take place.
“Shall we?” Jasper stood and buttoned his suit jacket, then offered me his arm.
We started for the tents on the other side of the property, until I came to an abrupt stop.
“There you are.” I could have picked Jasper’s aunt Suzy out of any size crowd. Her bright red hair had been tamed into a bun at the nape of her neck. A set of jeweled clips held the sides in place. Were those frogs?
“Suzy.” Jasper stopped and let go of my arm to greet his aunt. “Did you do the flowers today?”
“Sure did.” Suzy beamed. “Just wait until you see the bouquets on the head table. I used some branches from my own property as the base. Lacey wouldn’t let me use real butterflies at the reception.
She said she had to draw the line there and it wouldn’t be sanitary since there’d be so much food around.
Sometimes I don’t think that woman understands that there shouldn’t be lines when it comes to appreciating art. ”
“She probably didn’t want butterflies landing in their dinner.” Jasper’s brows rose as he glanced at me over the top of his aunt’s head.
“Do you think we could chat for a few minutes?” I asked Suzy.
“Oh, yes. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Suzy took my arm. “Jasper, can we have a second?”
“Sure. I need to check on Abby. I’ll meet y’all back here in a few minutes?”
Suzy waved him away, already tugging me to the bench we’d just vacated. “I wanted to apologize about that run-in with your mama. Seems like I had her mixed up with someone else. You know, my eyesight’s just not what it used to be.”
I squinted at her. One of the rhinestone frogs in Suzy’s hair had caught the sun and sent a bright array of sparkles dancing at the edge of my vision. “But I saw you and my mother talking in the front seat of your car. And then she said she used to know you a long time ago.”
“She did?” Suzy’s hand went to her heart.
“I don’t understand. Were you in school together?”
“Oh, honey, your mama was a few years behind me. But I remember her well.”
“Were you friends?” I wondered how Suzy would have known my mother. They didn’t seem like they were the type that would have much in common. As much as I enjoyed Suzy’s unconventional ways, Stella didn’t have the same attitude when it came to expanding her social circle.
“We weren’t really friends. Did Estelle, I mean, Stella, say anything about it?”
“No. There’s something she’s not telling me, and I have no idea what it is.
” Stella had never provided any details about her childhood days.
All she’d said was her parents didn’t support her decision to marry my father, so they lost touch.
Stella had shut them out of her life and never looked back. Not even when she and my dad divorced.
I had always wanted to learn more about my family, more about my past, but the memories were too painful for my mother to talk about, so I’d left it alone.
“I think it’s best you ask your mama about it.
Whatever it is she’s not willing to talk about, it’s her story to share.
” Suzy nodded, more to herself than anything else.
“Now, we’ve got a party to get to. Are you going to cut a rug with my nephew?
He sure looks handsome when he gets all gussied up, doesn’t he? ”
I wanted to press the issue but looked up in time to see Jasper making his way toward us, Abby by his side. “He sure does.”
“Take care, hon.” Suzy stood and wrapped me in a hug, the faint scent of formaldehyde lingering as she released her grip.
“Did you hear my song, Delilah?” Abby’s excitement was contagious. “I get to sing another one at the reception. I can’t wait to taste the cake. Jojo made it and promised me she’d save me a piece with extra frosting.”
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” I linked my arm with Abby’s, a safer choice than subjecting myself to Jasper’s charms, and we made our way toward the huge white tents.
Giant, colorful butterflies hung from the ceiling on clear filament. It made it look like butterflies danced all around us. Soft lights had been strung around the edges, making the inside of the tent glow. I’d never seen anything like it.
“I see Jojo over there.” Abby released my arm. “I’m going to go say hi and make sure she remembers about the cake.”
I laughed as Abby sprinted across the dance floor, headed toward the cake table on the other side. “Where does she get her energy?”
“I bet you were like that when you were her age.” Jasper said.
“No.” I tried to remember what I’d been like at twelve years old.
I’d won several titles by then. Stella had decided that my pageant career took top priority over settling down somewhere, and we’d moved all over the state of Texas and even spent time in Louisiana and Georgia in Stella’s quest for me to win one of the bigger titles.
“Are you sure about that? You strike me as someone who probably loved having a chance to dress up and go to parties.”
“Back then I probably would have preferred to stay home, learn how to ride a horse, and hang out with my friends. The pageants and parties were fun sometimes, but I missed out on a lot by always being on the move.”
“I guess I assumed that’s what you wanted.”
“Oh, I did. The first time I won a title, my mom was so proud. She said she’d always wanted to compete but then she met my dad and fell in love. I felt like I was giving her a second chance to realize her dreams.”
“What about your dreams?”
“What about them?” I shrugged. I’d lost sight of what I wanted a long time ago. When I realized winning pageants made my mom smile again, I set out to do just that. It got to the point where Stella’s dreams had blended with my own, and I couldn’t tell what I really wanted anymore.
“The business you’re building with your mom and your mentor . . .”
“Monique.”
“Right, Monique. Is that something you believe in?”
“Of course.” But it was so much more complicated than that.
I’d used my platform to speak about empowering young girls.
So many times in the pageant world I’d seen the girls who had the big budgets use their experience to intimidate the girls who couldn’t afford to hire coaches and consultants.
The business I was building with Monique and Stella would be my way of supporting girls who couldn’t afford to compete at those levels.
“Sounds like there’s a but there,” Jasper said.
I’d already crossed the line with Jasper.
What difference would it make if I came clean about my reservations?
“Giving money toward causes that will empower young girls is great. But I’d love to be more involved.
When I talk to those girls, get to look in their eyes and tell them about my own experiences, that’s what fills my soul. ”
“Then why aren’t you doing that?”
He made it sound so easy, so simple. “What do I tell Stella? ‘I know I said I wanted to run the business with you, but I’ve decided I just want to hang out with teenagers instead’?”
“Well, yeah, for starters. Can’t you do both?”
“I don’t think there’s enough time in the day. My mother’s shifted from entering me into pageants to having me do appearances everywhere. She thinks I need to be the face of the brand. That doesn’t give me time to be the company spokesperson and spend my days running an actual program.”
“I guess I don’t see why you can’t make it work. My dad always told me if you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” I was tired of everyone plying me with advice. “Have you always wanted to run a pecan orchard?”