24. Delilah
DELILAH
With the contest coming to a close, I didn’t want anyone seeing Jasper and me together and thinking I was playing favorites. As much as I wanted to go all in with him, I forced myself to keep my distance over the next few days.
I hadn’t heard from Stella except for a text saying she’d made it home and hoped we could sort through everything when I returned to Dallas.
With unexpected time on my hands, I accepted Helmut’s invitation to spend the morning together. We didn’t appear to have much in common, but I wanted to know more about my past—and about him.
We met at the Burger Bonanza. Helmut’s truck sat high on jacked-up tires, and I had to use both hands to pull myself into the cab.
“Thanks for being willing to spend some time with me.” He gave me a shy smile, nothing like the expression he wore while slinging burgers behind the grill.
“I want to get to know you. At least as much as I can while I’m still in town.” I fastened my seat belt. “Where are we going?”
“I figured I’d show you where your mother and I grew up. Give you a sense of our history together.”
“I’d like that.”
As he drove through Ido, he pointed out places I hadn’t noticed and told me about the people who’d lived there all their lives.
Jojo had worked at the Burger Bonanza since high school and now made wedding cakes for Lacey’s brides.
Kirby had spent decades as a recluse before starting a transportation company with a fleet of unusual limos.
“It sounds like the town pulled together to make Lacey’s dream come true.”
“It wasn’t just her dream. I guess we all needed something to work toward. She was the one who made us realize it.”
He pointed out a few places in Swynton where he and Stella used to spend time, then drove into Bellsview.
Tall trees lined a narrow street of nearly identical houses.
“There’s the house I grew up in.” Helmut stopped in front of a small white home with dark-blue shutters. “That front window was my bedroom.”
“Who lives there now?”
He shifted in his seat. “My folks.”
My heart stalled. “Your parents are still alive?”
“You’ve got kin, Delilah.” He covered my hand with his. “I don’t expect you’re ready to meet them, but when you are, they’d love to know you.”
Tears blurred my vision. “Why didn’t Stella come to them when she found out she was pregnant? Why leave when she had people who would have helped her?”
“Let me show you where she lived.”
He drove out of town and stopped beside a two-lane highway. A rusted trailer sat in the middle of an overgrown lot, part of its roof caved in.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t picture Stella living there.
“I know it doesn’t look like much now,” Helmut said. “But your grandmother did the best she could.” He pointed toward a stand of trees. “Your granddad hung a tire swing over there. Estelle loved when I pushed her on it. That’s where we had our first kiss.” His voice shook.
“I’m sorry.”
“None of this was your fault.” He gave me a shaky smile. “I thought seeing where she came from might help you understand her.”
“It does. Thank you.”
He started the truck again. “I’ll show you the high school, then we can head back to the restaurant. I’d like to make you lunch.”
“There’s something you should know first.” I remembered Jasper’s warning, but I’d had enough secrets. “I’m a vegetarian.”
Helmut’s eyes widened. “A what?”
“I don’t eat meat.”
“I’m not sure I know what to do with that.”
“Maybe we can learn together.”
“I’d like that.”
By the time we returned to the Burger Bonanza, the lunch crowd had cleared out. Jojo sat at the counter with a magazine open across her lap.
“I thought y’all got lost.” She slid her feet off the stool beside her. “How’d the tour go?”
“Good,” Helmut said. “I showed her the old neighborhood.”
“And the high school?”
He nodded.
“And the spot behind the football field?”
His eyes narrowed.
“What happened behind the football field?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
Jojo laughed. “Sure. And I’ve never eaten a piece of chocolate cake after midnight.” She stood and picked up her purse. “I left bread, cheese, tomatoes, and avocados in the kitchen. Make sure he cleans the grill before he cooks your sandwich.”
“A little bacon grease adds flavor,” Helmut said.
“It also adds bacon,” I said.
He frowned. “You don’t eat that either?”
“No meat means no meat.”
Jojo patted his cheek. “You’ll figure it out.”
After she left, Helmut shifted awkwardly beside the counter. “You want to sit down while I make us a couple of sandwiches?”
“Can I help?”
His face brightened. “Come on back.”
The kitchen was quiet without the noise of the lunch rush. Helmut filled a bucket with soapy water and attacked the grill with a scrubber.
“You don’t have to strip off the top layer of metal,” I teased.
“Jojo said to clean the grill.” His movements slowed. “I’ve missed twenty-five years of taking care of you. Let me do this one thing right.”
My breath caught.
He set down the scrubber. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to ask or what you want to know. I don’t even know what you like to eat.”
“Neither do I most of the time.”
His brows drew together.
“I’ve spent years eating whatever kept me in pageant shape. Egg whites, steamed vegetables, salad without dressing. Food wasn’t supposed to be enjoyable. It was fuel.”
“That’s no way to live.”
“I’m beginning to realize that.”
He resumed cleaning the grill. “What did you like when you were little?”
“Oh, gosh. Macaroni and cheese. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Anything lemon.”
“Your mama loved lemon cake.”
“Jasper says I smell like lemons.”
His hand stilled. “Does he now?”
“He meant my shampoo.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And maybe my lotion.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He dried the grill. “Are you and Jasper serious?”
“We haven’t known each other long.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I pulled ingredients from the refrigerator. “The contest is still going on. I don’t want Ido to get disqualified.”
“Still not what I asked.”
“Fine. I’m thinking about staying in Ido.”
Helmut slowly faced me. “You are?”
“I need to talk to Monique about the foundation and figure out what to do about the cosmetics line. Jasper and I haven’t made any plans.”
“But you want to stay?”
“I think so.”
His hands shook as he turned away and began buttering the bread.
“Have some bread with your butter,” I joked.
“There’s no such thing as too much butter.”
“That must be where I get it.”
His smile made my chest ache. “I’ll take the blame.”
The back door opened, and Jasper entered with dirt streaking his jeans and his T-shirt clinging to his chest. “There you are.”
My pulse sped up at the sight of him. “Here I am.”
“I went by the trailer.”
“I told you I was spending the day with Helmut.”
“You did. I lost track of time.” His gaze moved between us. “How’d it go?”
“I have grandparents.”
His eyebrows lifted. “You do?”
“Helmut’s parents still live in Bellsview.”
“That’s great.” He came close enough to brush his fingers over mine.
Helmut noticed. He pointed a butter knife at Jasper. “Wash your hands.”
“I’m not eating.”
“You’re in my kitchen. You need to wash your hands.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jasper moved to the sink, shooting me a look that made me press my lips together to keep from laughing.
“You want a sandwich?” Helmut asked him.
“What kind?”
“Vegetarian.”
“What’s on it?”
“Cheese, tomato, and avocado.”
“No meat?”
Helmut glared at him. “Do you know what vegetarian means?”
“I do. I was just checking to make sure you do too.”
Helmut shook his head and went back to making sandwiches.
Jasper dried his hands and leaned beside me. “You okay?”
“I think I’m getting there.”
“You need anything?” The concern in his hazel eyes almost undid me.
“No. This is exactly what I need.”
Helmut cleared his throat.
Jasper stepped away. “What can I do?”
“Make pineapple milkshakes.”
“Is that her favorite?” Jasper shot me a glance.
Helmut answered. “It was Estelle’s.”
“Then I’d like to try one,” I said.
While they worked, they argued about how much milk belonged in a milkshake. Helmut accused Jasper of making soup. Jasper said it had to be drinkable or it would just be ice cream.
I laughed until my stomach hurt.
A few minutes later, Helmut set a grilled sandwich in front of me. It had been cut into uneven triangles, with melted cheese and tomato spilling from the sides.
“It’s not pretty but I expect it’s edible,” he said.
“It looks perfect.”
Jasper set a pineapple milkshake next to it, and Helmut took the stool on my other side. I stared at the meal. A sandwich and a milkshake. Nothing special. Yet my eyes teared up and I fought the urge to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Helmut asked. “You don’t like it?”
“I haven’t tried it.”
“Then why do you look like someone died?”
“I’m happy.” I looked between him and Jasper. “I’m not used to people making something just because I might like it.”
Jasper frowned. “People must do things for you all the time.”
“They do things for Miss Lovin’ Texas. Or because Stella tells them to. This is different.”
Helmut rested one hand on the counter, his palm up.
I slipped mine into it.
“You should have had this every day,” he said. “Someone asking what you wanted. Someone making sure you got it.”
“I had a good life.”
He gave my hand a squeeze. “I’m not saying you didn’t.”
“I know. But maybe there are a few things I missed.”
“We’ve got time to catch up.”
Jasper covered our joined hands with his. For a moment, the three of us stayed that way. Helmut’s rough palm beneath mine. Jasper’s warm hand on top. A father I’d only just found and a man I hadn’t known I’d been searching for until I arrived in Ido.
My whole life, family had meant Stella and me against the world. Maybe family could mean something else. Like a badly cut grilled cheese sandwich and a pineapple milkshake. And two men I cared about arguing over how much milk belonged in a blender.
I pulled my hand free before I started crying and took a bite. Melted cheese, tomato, and avocado blended together perfectly.
“It’s delicious.”
Helmut’s shoulders relaxed. “Really?”
“Really.”
Jasper reached for the other half.
Helmut slapped his hand away. “That’s hers.”
“You made two.”
“The other one’s mine.”
“What am I supposed to eat?”
“There’s fifty pounds of ground beef in the refrigerator.”
“I thought we were learning together.”
“We are. She’s my daughter. You’re just hanging around.”
Jasper’s gaze slid toward me. “For now.”
My heart stumbled.
Helmut narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” Jasper held up both hands. “I’ll make myself a burger.”
“Clean the grill when you’re done.”
“Yes, sir.”
I took another bite and smiled. I didn’t know what to call Helmut yet. Dad felt too big and important to force before I was ready. But sitting between him and Jasper, I knew one thing for sure. For the first time in my life, I understood what it felt like to feel like I was home.