Chapter 11 Samantha
SAMANTHA
We walk slowly around the estate for a while, and then we start to trot. It’s hard to get used to the odd up and down, and my butt is getting pounded.
It is not a pounding I know or like much.
Finally, we reach a large riding ring with sawdust on the floor. It sits under oak trees, and it has a circular white fence and a raised spectator-like seating area.
As we ride slowly up, Harry drops confidently to the ground. He finds an extra-long leather lead and a long black stick-like whip.
I am unsure who will be whipped, but the idea excites me. And terrifies me.
Harry leads Charlie and me inside, and then he has us ride slowly around the outer edge.
With the long lead, now tied to Charlie’s bridle and the round wooden fence, we are forced to walk around and around.
After several more circuits, we walk faster.
I am finally starting to move with Charlie’s big body when, suddenly, we begin to trot again.
Harry remains in the middle controlling us with precision. He uses the long black stick and fine leather whip to gently tap Charlie’s rump. He controls us with ease, and I am unsure how I’m supposed to feel. Or what to think.
“Come on, Charlie, good boy.”
Harry nudges Charlie along and gently encourages him.
He is far from whipping the horse, but the hunk in black, with a black whip, has not gone unnoticed.
I will forever have him, his glare, his black gloves, his tall black boots, and his Ray-Bans burnt into my mind.
I have not been controlled before; it is confusing and hot at the same time. Not that I would do anything for him. Well, not exactly.
Charlie continues, and soon, he picks up speed. We next begin to canter, and I hold on tight. “Woah!” I say gasping nervously.
“Stay mounted,” Harry commands me without emotion. “And heels down and elbows in!”
“Scared!” I say, teeth clenched.
“The unknown will naturally create fear. That is, until you learn to enjoy it.”
I hold on, trying to breathe. “You just made that up!”
Harry laughs loudly. “You got me there. But it does not make it untrue.”
I am not doing well, and it feels unnatural.
“Samantha.”
“What?”
“You need to relax. You need to feel the speed of the horse and feel its motion. Then you need to match it. Move your body with his, like in a dance.”
I try, but it doesn’t work. “I can’t!” I yell.
“Move as one, Samantha, and feel it.”
“Can’t!”
“Do as I command.”
“Hard,” I say, terrified and now annoyed.
“You did the night of the storm, Samantha. Then you felt the rhythm.”
I inhale and get a wicked flashback. To him behind me, then me on him.
“Work with him, Sam. Feel, do not think.”
I do, and I think of us that night. Suddenly, I find the rhythm easier.
After a few more cycles, I settle in, and we have flow. I am one with Charlie, and our bodies work together.
“That’s it. Let him control you.”
“Again, not relevant.”
“So relevant,” he says. “Let his body command you.”
I shake my head and look over. The bastard is now smiling; he is playing with me.
“You are a dick.”
“Focus,” he commands me.
The intense riding lesson is taking me far, even if it’s completely nerve-wracking. I am feeling frazzled and confused, but I have learned to ride.
Just when I think I have it and we’re doing well, Harry taps the end of the leather whip on Charlie’s rump. “Come on, boy.”
Charlie picks up speed, and I hold on for my life. I hold on tight, pushing myself to feel, not think. I also try to match the large brute’s strength and rhythm.
“It’s important to push yourself, Samantha.”
“Bastard,” I mumble low.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” I huff-yell.
Suddenly, Harry clips my bum with the black leather whip. It is usually feet away and resting on Charlie’s rump.
It stung, and I flash Harry a look.
“Sorry.”
“Watch it,” I huff, getting turned on.
“Or else?”
We are now cantering fast, and it feels like I’m flying.
Even if Harry has pushed me hard and fast, I’ve been able to handle it. It’s weird and almost as if Harry knows just what I’m capable of and how much I can take before losing it.
The rush and speed of the ride is thrilling. I also feel proud to finally be able to ride.
“That’s good, Samantha, you’re doing well!”
I beam inside, and then finally, we slow, then trot and return to a walk.
Harry walks over and reaches up. He is now smiling wide. “Come on. Down.”
Resting my hands on his large shoulders, I leap down, almost into his arms. I am super-pumped, full of adrenaline, and ecstatic.
“Oh, my God!” I huff.
“Fun, huh?”
“So much.” I beam.
Harry and I keep our hands and eyes on each other, then I remember poor Charlie. I stand in front of him and kiss his big, soft, and warm nose. Charlie snorts and swishes his tail.
“That means he liked it.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know, but you did the same after I rode you!”
I am about to slap him, but he has moved away fast. Shaking my head, I pull Charlie along. “Come on, Charlie, at least you have some manners.”
We finally remount and ride the horses back around the lake. As we do, we talk about riding, horses, and life.
It is nice to relax, and for the first time, the grump is almost human.
Maybe he puts up walls. Walls to help him focus on business. Or maybe he just gets in the zone, then closes everything else out.
That I can get. Cooking fast and without mistakes in large, high-end kitchens like the ones in Miami, Rome, Paris, and London required extreme focus. There is no room for mistakes, and time is critical.
I start to get what he may be doing, but he is still an arrogant, grumpy, sexy bastard with very few social skills. Or a lack of desire to fit into the norm.
Or care to.
Seeing Harry in his hot black boots, tight black riding pants, and black polo-riding gear is distracting. I also notice him check out my butt a few times.
I don’t mind it, but I’d rather him not just look at it. I’d rather he eat it. Or devour me. Devour me like I’m a juicy peach.
As I’m distracted, imagining Harry eating me, he trots away fast. “Come on.”
I follow him cautiously, and we ride towards a high mesh fence. Sensing something dangerous, I slow. As we walk on, a savage roar cuts through the air. I jump, but the horses don’t for some reason.
As we reach a wooden building on the side of the high-caged area, Harry leaps down.
“Stay up, you’ll see more.”
I watch Harry unlock several gates, then he walks behind the fence.
As I ride closer, I peer through the strong mesh fence. I expect ostriches to trot out when Harry runs towards a huge tiger lying near a tree.
Suddenly, it roars and runs his way.
“Oh God,” I say, holding the fence with my fingers.
Just before the tiger leaps on Harry, he dives to the side. Then, he and the tiger roll in the grass and wrestle.
My heart pumps as I watch on, amazed. “Are you crazy?” I yell.
“He likes it.”
“No, I mean, won’t he eat you?”
As Harry rolls around with the maneater, he yells my way, “You saying you don’t want to be eaten?”
I shake my head and mumble low, “Crazy lunatic.”
Finally, Harry stands and walks my way. “Come on, boy.”
The old tiger follows him and waddles towards me. My heart pounds, and I drop slowly off the horse, my eyes wide.
Harry crouches on the other side of the fence, and he is now feet from me. The tiger
watches me closely, and I gulp. I force myself to relax and then to start breathing again.
“Can, can I get in?”
“Do you trust him with your life?”
“I don’t know, but I trust you.”
We exchange a glance.
“Do you, really?” the brute asks.
“I’m not really sure,” I say honestly.
Harry nods, getting it, and he crouches at the tiger’s side. He holds him close while the tiger watches me. The tiger then leaps on Harry again, and they play fight more.
“What’s his name?”
“Tusk.”
It’s a good name. The tiger’s teeth are huge.
Now standing on its back feet to play maul and hug Harry, Tusk is almost as tall. Harry laughs as they wrestle, and I watch, amazed. It is inspiring, confusing, and exciting.
The weird, cold man is somehow being human. And is that what it really takes?
Proximity to death!
We wash the horses down at the lakeside, and then, as the sun sets, we brush and groom them.
It’s hot, and the sun bouncing off the water next to us doubles the heat.
Harry peels off his black polo; he looks good in the light, his torso perfect.
Deciding what is good for the goose is good for the gander, I peel off the thick Ralph Lauren-type sweater. I am wearing a sexy black bra, so no harm done.
Harry notices, and he pauses.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he says before growling and continuing.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen them, or bitten them,” I say as a throw-away. Harry is quiet, and I shake my head. Men.
It’s fun grooming the horses, watering them, and getting some sun. It is also fun to be outdoors interacting and relaxing.
After we whack the horses playfully on their rumps, they trot off, flicking their manes. As they swish their tails, they canter away and down to the back of the estate.
Harry and I walk back as the sun finally starts to set on the horizon. We do it in silence, and it’s nice.
Nice when he is less of a controlling dick, and nice when he is… More human.
After showering, I plan dinner when a note arrives from Harry.
Thanks for the ride. I need to catch up with work now. Please deliver dinner.
I was hoping to see him and maybe talk or have some fun. I do, however, do as I am told. I prepare an extra special meal that I’ve cooked several times, but not recently: beef wrapped in pastry, stuffed, then roasted in sections.
I add exotic spices, thinking Harry deserves to try something special.
The way I do it and present it will mean each section of the large dish would taste like it comes from different parts of the world.
As I clean up and am about to leave the large old kitchen, William walks in.
“Nice to see you both riding.”
“It was so fun,” I say, beaming.
William smiles, but I don’t know what he’s thinking. I pause as I’m about to leave. “May I ask a question, William?”
“But of course.”
“Has Harrison, you know, dated much? Or does he have a girlfriend?”
William looks unsure if he should share private information. He crosses his arms and smiles back at me. “Miss, Master Harry has never had a girlfriend.”
“What, so this year?”
“Ever.”
“No, that’s just weird,” I say.
William starts to flip through mail that has come in. I’m unsure what has gone on, but something feels strange about Harry.
“William, is he alright?”
“That is rather private,” William says, turning to me, “but you did already sign a confidentiality agreement, correct?”
“Yes,” I say, remembering the large clause about privacy.
“Samantha, years ago, Harry lost his young sister, and his parents in a private airplane accident.”
“Oh, God,” I say, my hand over my mouth.
It suddenly starts to make sense. Him being extra reserved. Having a heavier energy. And generally being less light, positive, and free.
“And it hit him hard?”
“It hit us all hard, Samantha. Before that, he was lighter and, well, another man. A happier man.”
My heart hurts for the sexy, refined brute.
“Do you think he has abandonment or some kind of commitment issues?”
William pauses while looking at the stack of mail. “I’m not at liberty to say, dear.”
We exchange a look, and I feel for the damaged grumpy hunk.
“So, he doesn’t let anyone close?”
I look at the caring older man in his seventies, but he gives away nothing.
“Poor bastard,” I say, feeling sick.
“That is not entirely accurate, my dear. Technically, a bastard has no mother. Harry’s mother was a divine, classy, and well-balanced woman. An incredible woman, in fact.”
“Oh, I didn’t—”
“I know.”
I sigh and now understand. I know it will be hard for Harry to find anyone good enough. As good as his amazing mother. Sighing, I start to realize just how complex his world is.
“Well, nice talking, Miss Samantha.”
“Thanks, you too, William.”
William heads out, and I sigh. I then wonder how I should feel about the hot grump upstairs. If I should feel pity. If I should remember him as strong, powerful, and commanding.
Or if I should forget him forever and walk away, now.