Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Brian leaned against the cool wall, staring at the door in front of him.
He was waiting for Bella to be done with Grandpa Sage.
He couldn’t stand not being around her and wanted to see her as soon as she was finished.
Finally, when it was late at night, the door creaked open.
Bella walked out cautiously, and her gray eyes immediately met the hazel ones across from her.
“Thank you for waiting for me.” Bella stepped out with more confidence after seeing his familiar face.
She wasn’t sure why, but she felt better seeing him.
She’d only managed to take a couple of steps before Brian reached out and pulled her into his arms. His head came down to rest in the crook of her neck where she could feel his hot breath beating against her skin.
Unlike before, this time, her body gave a slight shudder.
Her beast stirred uncomfortably, seeking Brian’s heat.
Subconsciously, she leaned into his embrace.
“Are you alright? Are you hungry? You must be tired. I’ve been so anxious out here waiting for you.” Brian suddenly felt a calming warmth wash over him and a faint smile spread over his lips. He leaned his head into her shoulder and sighed from her calming comfort. “Thank you for that.”
Bella had her eyes closed as she felt her own beast relax next to Brian.
Maybe this was the start of her recognizing the mate pull?
Whatever it was, she was enjoying his heat and being close to him.
It had been cold where she’d lived before.
But it felt like Brian was the perfect temperature for her.
She was disappointed when he stepped back, missing the warm cocoon of his embrace.
Bella watched him, keeping her expression neutral.
She took in his dark silky hair, his finely sculpted, well-conditioned physique, and his captivating hazel eyes.
Eyes she now noticed were studying her curiously.
She had been eyeing him openly but didn’t look away guiltily.
She held his gaze, knowing her blank expression gave nothing away.
Bella could feel her body reacting oddly.
Something deep inside her was responding to the loss of his touch.
Like she was a flower twisting and seeking the sunlight.
Her slim hands curled into little fists, and she rubbed her thumb over her fingers.
She felt a bit scared of the feelings that were building up inside her, and she didn’t understand the sensual excitement that was now making her heart beat faster.
She felt like she was struggling for breath as her body trembled.
Brian stood there watching her curiously.
Her silver eyes gave away nothing but they were glued to him.
She had no idea what she was doing to him.
Just her looking his way made his beast squirm and beat against him.
He wanted to claim his mate, who was looking so vulnerable in front of him.
There was a powerful need to protect her and hold her tight.
But he didn’t want to scare her off. These emotions were intense, even for the mate pull, which she wasn’t feeling.
He watched as she shivered slightly, and he stepped toward her.
“Are you cold?” He wrapped his arm around her, bringing his body temperature up as he did. He felt her lean into him and heard her small, contented sigh. “There. Is that better?”
Bella closed her eyes as she tried to control her own emotions.
The mere sound of his voice was submerging her, drowning her in boiling needs and feelings that she didn’t understand.
She felt lost, with no hope of sorting them out.
She was told Brian was her mate, but she wasn’t sure what she was sensing.
Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, making her think she felt something.
And Brian was an attractive man, so she didn’t trust herself.
With her eyes closed, she felt her insides clench. Her fingers began to tingle, and she bit her inner bottom lip. She’d never admitted this out loud before, but deep down, she was terrified of having a mate. For reasons that had haunted her since she was young.
“Bella?”
She heard the concern in his voice, and she realized she’d been quiet this whole time. “I’m sorry. I guess I am tired.” She listened to his agitated sigh, and she glanced up from his chest to see his eyes fixed on the door of the Great Sage’s library.
“Are they pushing you too hard? Bella, you—”
“No, they aren’t. It’s just been a lot for one day is all. A lot of firsts. A lot of excitement. And then preparing to remove the glass from Alexa’s eye … It’s a lot for one day.” Bella’s lips curled upward as she tried to give him a reassuring smile.
“I’ll walk you to your room.” Brian looked at her with a bit of uncertainty before he gently corralled her down the hall.
He kept her tucked in his arm, allowing his warmth to wash over her.
Her body was still leaning into his in a more familiar fashion than she had before.
His beast was growling in contentment as he tried to manage his flame that burned for her.
Alexa pushed the bathroom door open, finding Ken and Mikah both standing right outside.
She chuckled and stepped into Ken’s side and glanced up at his paper bag head.
He was looking at her through the slits, and her insides ached to see him.
But she knew under that bag she wouldn’t see her Ken.
Instead, she turned her head into his side and closed her eyes, allowing herself to breathe in his scent and visualize his face.
“Has … uh, everything … settled down?” Mikah asked as he cleared his throat. He glanced over at Alexa, who turned toward him.
Before Alexa could answer, she heard the door, and Brian and Bella emerged from the stairs. The moment Alexa saw Bella’s face, she knew something was wrong. Alexa left Ken’s side and walked over to them. Brian was looking down at Bella in confusion and then glanced up at Alexa.
“She said she’s just tired, but—” Brian started, and Alexa grabbed Bella’s hand.
“I’ll go and get her a change of clothes.” Alexa tucked Bella’s hand in her arm and smiled over at her. “You’re tinier than I am, but I think I have some things that’ll fit. And tomorrow we’ll have to go clothes shopping for you. I’m surprised you didn’t pack anything to bring with you.”
“I really didn’t have much to bring,” Bella whispered. “I didn’t go anywhere anyway.”
Alexa ushered Bella into her room and shut the door. She turned and looked at Bella curiously.
“Okay, talk to me. What happened?”
Bella’s gray eyes widened, and she shook her head slowly.
“I’m just tired is all,” she whispered. Alexa laughed softly, placing her hand on her shoulder.
“That might work with Brian, but you’ll need to do better than that with me. Trust me. I use those excuses myself. You can talk to me.” Alexa gave Bella a reassuring smile.
“How did you know?” Bella whispered, and Alexa shrugged.
“Your eyes. They look … scared, I guess. You don’t look like your normal self.
Not that I’m an expert on what your normal self looks like.
I could just tell.” Alexa laughed and shrugged.
“Maybe because I’m an expert at trying to hide things.
Anyway, you can talk to me. What’s bothering you?
Is it the stuff you’re training to do for me? Is it really scary?”
“Oh, no no no. It’s nothing like that.” Bella tucked her bottom lip in as her emotions swirled inside her. She glanced at the door.
“Don’t worry. They can’t hear us.” Alexa smiled as Bella’s shoulders dropped slightly.
“It’s just that … I started feeling things I’ve never felt before.
I don’t know if it’s in my head or what it is.
But I’m—I’m afraid.” Bella exhaled and clutched her chest as she took ragged breaths.
“I don’t know if I want … one. I don’t know if—” Her bottom lip quivered, and she slammed her eyes shut.
“Bella,” Alexa whispered and walked up to her. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her gently. “Brian is a great guy. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It sounds like you’re suppressing the mate pull. You’re willingly blocking your beast, aren’t you?”
“You don’t understand.” Bella sniffled quietly against Alexa’s chest as tears glistened at the corners of her eyes.
“The real truth about why I was with Shiva.” Her breath shuddered as she clung to Alexa.
Her emotions began to run out of her as her body trembled and the tears fell.
“My mother was ripped away from me. She was taken because she was a crystal dragon. And my father was killed trying to save her. Then they came for me. Shiva saved me and took me in. She went looking for my mother, but it was too late. I was young but not so young that I don’t remember. ”
“Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry. Thank goodness Shiva found you. But Bella, what does that have to do with Brian?”
Bella sniffled, pulling away to look up into Alexa’s eyes.
“Don’t you see? My father was strong, and my mother was still taken from him. He was killed trying to protect my mother.”
Understanding dawned on Alexa’s face.
“Because he loved your mother. Bella, don’t let fear stop you from being happy. Don’t live your life like that. You’re safe here. And even if you don’t take a mate, we would all fight to protect you. Do you think that by not accepting your mate you’re protecting him?”
Bella shook her head. “I don’t want—I don’t want for my children to go through what I did,” she said in a strangled voice, hiccupping between breaths.
“I understand your fear. I understand why you’re so timid around other people. But that isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to you. Listen, take your time with the mate pull if you need to. Just because you feel it doesn’t mean you have to jump into Brian’s bed—”
“But I want to!” Bella cried out. She closed her eyes, and tears glistened as they trailed down her cheeks.
“And that terrifies me even more. I feel like I don’t have any control over my body.
Like these actions aren’t my own. I’ve never felt this before.
It’s so powerful, and I don’t understand it. ”
“I know. It’s like this powerful wave consumes you and takes over your thoughts.
It’s a bit scary, but it’s also wonderful.
You have this amazing connection that you don’t share with anyone else.
Just being near them infuses you with a calm comfort you didn’t even know you needed.
It’s safe. It’s exhilarating. It’s—” Alexa touched her necklace, her fingertips brushing over the warm gem.
“It’s a love that promises to never leave you.
That’ll stay with you no matter what. It’s the other half that you’re missing, and you can never be complete without it.
It’s everything, Bella. I can’t imagine not taking this gift out of fear.
Because having your mate is … it’s something I would never toss aside. Bella, it’s amazing.”
Alexa smiled and took Bella’s hand. “I’ve known Brian my whole life. You were both blessed to get each other as mates. You are his equal and partner, the one who was made just for him. And he is everything that you don’t even know you need.”
“I wish we didn’t have the mate pull.” Bella sighed and looked at Alexa.
“Don’t you ever wonder about it? Don’t you ever feel like the mate pull forces two people together?
I mean … without the mate pull, would you end up with the same person?
Look at humans. They get to pick their partner and fall in love.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could fall in love, and then the mate pull would connect us to the one we love? ”
“But I do love Ken. I loved Ken before I met him. I felt him inside, right here.” Alexa tapped her chest. “Bella, the mate pull is there to bring you together faster. But you still love each other. It’s deeper and more connected than on a human level.
And when we mark each other, we bare our souls to one another. ”
“What if he didn’t want a crystal dragon as his mate?” Bella bit her bottom lip, finally saying what was bothering her. “What if he didn’t want this target on his back? On his kingdom’s back? But because of the mate pull, he has to accept me?”
“You’re overthinking everything. For one, you can reject your mate. But Brian doesn’t want to. He wants you, Bella. So what if the mate pull is what brought you together? It isn’t the reason you stay together.”
“If he knows I can feel this … will he let me go at my own pace?” Bella whispered.
Alexa smiled and nodded. “Of course he will. But don’t be surprised if you’re the one who can’t hold back. Just from experience, my beasts demanded my mate more. Ken was the one with the willpower, not me.”
“Yeah.” Bella let out a quiet chuckle. “I think I might have the same problem.”
“So, talk to him, Bella. He’s your mate, not your enemy. He’s the one person in the whole world who will move the stars to make you happy. He’ll be the one to understand you and want to comfort you.” Alexa watched as Bella slowly nodded her head.
“I will. Thank you.” Bella smiled at her genuinely. “I needed this talk.”
“Ready to go back out there?”
“Yes. I’m still a bit nervous, but I think I’m ready.”
“You’re still nervous?” Alexa asked, frowning.
“Yeah, I’m nervous I’m not going to be able to control myself.”
“Oh … sorry. I can’t help you there. I still struggle with that.” Alexa laughed.
“Honestly, I’m not sure I want to anymore.
” Bella took in a confident breath. Alexa was right.
And maybe Brian was exactly what she needed in her life.
After all the pain she’d gone through, maybe Brian was the one to help her forget about it.
She held on to that resolve as she reached for the door handle.
She wasn’t exactly sure how things were going to go, but Alexa was right.
She needed to talk this over with Brian.
And then afterward … she would worry about afterward later.
It was time to unblock her beast and see if she heard that fated word.
A word that would change the course of her life—forever.