Chapter 11
Tammy
I couldn't stop staring at him.
Ripplan sat his horse like he'd been born in the saddle, back straight and shoulders relaxed, moving with Starlight's rhythm as though they were one creature instead of two.
The afternoon sun caught the dark green of his skin and made his black hair shine where it was pulled back from his face.
His hands on the reins were steady and confident, like he hadn't been delirious with fever and venom just a few days ago.
Like he hadn't gone down on me in his tent while a storm raged outside.
Heat flooded my face at the memory. I looked away quickly, focusing on Daffodil's ears, on the trail ahead, on anything except the broad expanse of Ripplan's back and the way his muscles shifted beneath his shirt.
He glanced back at me. Our eyes met for just a second before I looked away again, my pulse jumping.
God, I was a mess.
The swelling in his leg had gone down completely by the second morning.
I'd checked it myself, unwrapped the bandages, examined the bite site, felt for heat or inflammation.
Nothing. The puncture wounds were already scabbing over, the discoloration fading to a faint bruise.
His fever had broken sometime during that first night.
By midday he'd been an ornery ass, demanding to get back on his horse.
I'd made him ride in the chuck wagon for two days anyway. He'd griped about it the entire time, shooting me looks that ranged from annoyed to amused to something I couldn't quite read.
Now, watching him ride ahead of me, you'd never know a six-foot Western diamondback had pumped enough venom into his leg to kill three grown men.
It didn't make sense. His Orc constitution had saved him, but the medications I'd given him seemed like they hadn't done anything.
The antivenom, the antibiotics, the pain medication, all of it had been useless.
He'd suffered through the worst of it and healed on his own, his body fighting off the venom through sheer biological resilience.
And he didn't remember what had happened between us.
Or if he did, he was pretending he didn't, which somehow felt worse.
"Doc!" Sam's voice pulled me from my thoughts. The ranch hand rode up beside me, grinning despite the bandage wrapped around his left hand. "How's it looking?"
I'd splinted two of his fingers yesterday after he'd gotten them caught in a rope. Stupid accident, easily preventable, but that seemed to be the theme of this cattle drive.
"Let me see." I guided Daffodil closer and examined his hand. The swelling had gone down and there were no signs of infection. "Looks good. Keep the splint on for another week, and for God's sake, be more careful."
"Yes ma'am." He tipped his hat and rode off, still grinning.
I'd been busy the entire trip. Cowboys were a clumsy bunch, or maybe just fearless to the point of stupidity. Cuts, scrapes, a few broken fingers, one guy who'd gotten his hand ripped open by a horn. I'd stitched him up by firelight. But everyone was healing and everyone was fine.
Everyone except me.
Because every time I looked at Ripplan, I remembered. The heat of his mouth. The desperate way he'd touched me. The things he'd said in that rough, fever-broken voice. You're worth it. I need you. You're so beautiful.
And then I'd feel it, that low, insistent pull of arousal that made my thighs clench and my breath catch.
I remembered what Jordan had told me once, laughing over wine in her kitchen. Orcs could smell arousal. It's embarrassing and hot in equal measure.
Thank God we were surrounded by cattle.
The stench was overwhelming. Thousands of animals, their waste, the dust they kicked up, the sweat of unwashed cowboys.
I'd tried to freshen up whenever we passed a river or creek, splashing cold water on my face and neck, but I knew I smelled as bad as everyone else.
There was no way Ripplan could pick up anything through that wall of odor.
At least, I hoped not.
Because if he could smell how turned on I was every time I looked at him, I might actually die of embarrassment.
We left ten cowboys at the high pasture with the herd. There was a cabin up there, rough but functional, and the hands would rotate out on a weekly basis. Ripplan had made the assignments the night before, his voice calm and authoritative as he went through the list.
He'd left Dutton and Carter up there.
I'd noticed. So had they, judging by the looks on their faces. But neither of them had argued.
Now, as we rode down the mountain trail toward the ranch, I felt the tension building in my chest. Something had changed between us.
I couldn't put words to it, couldn't define it, but it was there.
A softness in the way he looked at me sometimes.
A hesitation, like he was trying to figure something out.
My heart beat faster every time our eyes met, and I had no idea what it meant.
The ranch came into view near dusk. The main house, the stables, the outbuildings spread across the valley like a painting. Home. The word surprised me, but it felt right.
We rode into the yard and I dismounted, my legs shaky after hours in the saddle. Daffodil nickered softly and I stroked her neck, murmuring thanks.
"Ripplan!" Thurlee's voice rang out across the yard. She came hurrying from the main house, Brylan and Maclan right behind her. "Thank the gods, you're back. Let me see that leg."
"I'm fine, Thurlee." Ripplan swung down from Starlight with easy grace. No limp. No hesitation. "Tammy took good care of me."
The way he said my name made something flutter in my chest.
Thurlee grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the house anyway, muttering about stubborn Orcs and snake bites. Brylan caught my eye and smiled.
"Good to have you back," he said. "We heard about the snake. Xrylen said it was bad."
"It was." I unsaddled Daffodil, focusing on the familiar motions to keep my hands steady. "Western diamondback. Big one. But he healed faster than I expected."
"Orc constitution." Brylan's tone was light, but I saw the worry flash in his eyes. "We're tough to kill."
"Apparently."
I finished with Daffodil and led her into the stable. The other hands were doing the same, the air filled with the sounds of horses and men, the smell of hay and leather. I brushed her down, checked her hooves, made sure she had water and feed.
When I came back outside, Ripplan was standing by the corral, surrounded by ranch hands. They were asking about the drive, about the snake, about the high pastures. He answered patiently, but his eyes kept drifting to me.
There was something in his expression. Confusion, maybe. Or recognition. Like he was trying to solve a puzzle and I was the missing piece.
It made me feel exposed. Vulnerable.
It made me feel like a fool.
Because he didn't remember. Or if he did, he was choosing to ignore it. And I was standing here getting wet every time I looked at him, remembering the taste of his name in my mouth and the weight of his hand in my hair.
I turned away and headed for the clinic.
The apartment was exactly as I'd left it. Clean. Organized. Empty.
I dropped my bag by the door and stood in the middle of the living room, suddenly exhausted. My body ached and my mind was spinning. I couldn't stop thinking about Ripplan's leg, how the antivenom had done nothing, how his own biology had saved him.
Something was wrong. Something I was missing.
I pulled out my phone and dialed Jordan's number. She answered on the second ring.
"Tammy! Oh my God, I've been thinking about you. How's Colorado?"
Just hearing her voice made my throat tight. "It's good. It's really good, actually."
"You sound exhausted."
"I am. We just got back from a cattle drive. Over a week on the trail."
"A cattle drive?" Jordan laughed. "Look at you, turning into a cowgirl. How are the Orcs? Have you found your mate yet?"
My face heated. "I've been busy. There are five brothers and they're all gorgeous, but I'm here to work, Jordan. Not to..." I broke off, frustrated. "It's complicated."
"It's always complicated." Her voice softened. "Are you okay? Really?"
I sank onto the couch, suddenly close to tears. "I don't know. Maybe. There's this guy, Ripplan, the foreman, and I think... I don't know what I think."
"Do you like him?"
"Yes. God, yes. But I don't think he feels the same way. Or if he does, he's not..." I stopped. I couldn't tell her what had happened in the tent. Couldn't put it into words. "It's complicated," I said again.
"Well, for what it's worth, I think you deserve someone who's not complicated. Someone who sees how amazing you are and isn't afraid to show it."
"Thanks." I wiped my eyes. "How are things there? How's Ruka?"
"He's good. We're good. But Tammy..." She hesitated. "I heard Arlo's been asking around town about you. Trying to find out where you went."
My stomach dropped. "What?"
"He's been calling your friends, showing up at the hospital. He even tried to get information from some of the Orcs in the village, but they shut him down. None of us will tell him anything, I promise. But you need to be careful."
"He doesn't know I'm in Colorado?"
"No. The story around town is still that you went to Florida. As far as he knows, you could be anywhere. But he's not giving up."
I closed my eyes. Of course he wasn't. Arlo never gave up and never let go.
"I'll be careful," I said. "Thanks for the warning."
"Of course. Now tell me about this cattle drive. Did anyone get hurt?"
"A few minor injuries. And a major one." I hesitated. "Something strange happened. Ripplan, the foreman, he got bitten by a rattlesnake. A big one. Western diamondback."
"Jesus. Is he okay?"
"He's fine. Completely fine. But he shouldn't be.
" I stood and started pacing. "I gave him antivenom, antibiotics, pain medication, all dosed for his weight, just like you taught me.
And none of it worked, Jordan. None of it.
The antivenom did absolutely nothing. His leg kept swelling, the fever kept climbing, he had nausea, pain.
The antibiotics didn't seem to help. The pain meds were useless.
He was in absolute agony. Fever, vomiting, sweating through his clothes. I thought he was going to die."
"But he didn't."
"No. And by the second day, he was better. Not healed, but better."
"Thank goodness for Orc constitution," Jordan said, letting out a small surprised laugh. "It's damn near miraculous."
"There was a moment when I really feared he might die." Saying it even now, knowing Ripplan was back to normal, still made shivers run over my skin.
Jordan's silence stretched longer this time. When she spoke, her voice had changed. It was tight and worried. "You're saying the antivenom had no effect at all?"
"None. I gave him three doses and it was like I'd injected him with water."
"And the antibiotics?"
"Broad-spectrum. Same ones we use for humans. Just like the pain meds."
"Okay, hold on." Jordan's tone shifted to something more thoughtful. "You were out there in the middle of nowhere with a snakebite victim. You were scared. Were you maybe miscalculating the dosages? It happens when you're worried. Your mind doesn't work the same way."
I opened my mouth to argue, then stopped. Had I double-checked my math? I'd been terrified and my hands had been shaking. "I don't think so. I was careful. But I was really worried about him, Jordan. Like, genuinely terrified he wasn't going to make it."
There was a pause. Then Jordan's voice came back, and I could hear the smile in it. "You were really worried about him, huh?"
"He was bitten by a rattlesnake protecting me. Of course I was worried."
"Uh-huh. And how does he look? This Orc who you were so worried about?"
"Jordan..."
"I'm just saying, you sound an awful lot like someone who's already found her mate. You came out there to find one, and now you're having panic attacks over some Orc's snake bite?"
"It's complicated," I said firmly, feeling heat creep up my neck.
"It always is." She laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll drop it. But seriously, if you miscalculated because you were scared, that's not a failure. That's being human. Just be more careful next time, yeah? And maybe have someone else double-check your dosages if you're stressed."
"I will. Thanks, Jordan."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
I hung up and sat in the silence, my phone still in my hand. Outside, I could hear the distant sounds of the ranch. Horses, voices, the wind in the trees.
And thunder. Low and rumbling, rolling in from the mountains.
I looked out the window. Dark clouds were building on the horizon, moving fast. A storm was coming.
I was suddenly, overwhelmingly exhausted. My body ached and my mind was spinning. All I wanted was to take a hot shower and crawl into bed and not think about Ripplan or Arlo or snake bites or any of it.
I stripped off my filthy clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt like heaven, washing away over a week of dust and sweat and fear. I stood under the spray until my skin was pink and my muscles had loosened, until I felt almost human again.
When I got out, I wrapped myself in my thick terry cloth robe, the one my grandmother had given me, soft and worn and comforting. I started drying my hair with a towel. Thunder rumbled closer now. I could see lightning flickering through the window.
I should eat something. Should check my medical supplies, make sure everything was restocked and organized.
But I was so tired and emotionally wrung out.
I just wanted to sleep.
I was heading toward the bedroom when I heard it. A knock on the door. Firm and deliberate.
I froze.
It was late, past nine, maybe later. Who would be knocking at this hour?
Another knock. Louder this time.
I crossed to the door, my heart suddenly pounding. I tightened the belt on my robe, took a breath and opened the door.
Ripplan stood on my porch, soaking wet from the rain. His hair was loose, hanging past his shoulders in dark, dripping strands. He wore no shirt and rain plastered his jeans to his muscular legs. Water ran down his face, his neck, disappearing beneath his collar.
But it was his eyes that stopped me.
They were intense and focused. Like he'd just figured something out and had come here to confirm it.
Like he remembered.