Chapter 12 An Unexpected Re #2
"I used to get angry every time somebody said that."
Amari waited.
"Now?"
"Now I know uncertainty is still an answer sometimes."
She studied him.
"Did you ever find anything?"
"Pieces."
"Nothing solid."
"My dad spent years searching."
"Terrence?"
"Yeah."
Tan smiled unconsciously when he said the name.
Amari noticed.
"You really love him."
Tan looked back at her.
"He's everything."
The answer came without hesitation.
Amari's heart warmed.
Tan continued.
"He never tried to replace my biological father."
"Never asked me to forget where I came from."
"He taught me that I didn't have to choose between being a Lee and being a David."
Amari leaned back.
"That's beautiful."
"That's him."
For a moment, Tan's expression carried the quiet pride of a son who knew exactly how lucky he'd been.
Then Amari asked,
"Is that why you became a police officer?"
"Partly."
He smiled.
"The first time I met him, he stopped me from getting hit by a car."
Her eyes widened.
"What?"
Tan laughed.
"I was wandering the street."
"He happened to be driving home."
"He stopped."
"Carried me to the hospital."
"My mom was working there."
Amari stared.
"That's how you met your parents?"
"Pretty much."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
She looked at him differently now.
Not with pity.
With understanding.
"So when you said somebody stopping can change your life..."
Tan nodded.
"Literally."
Amari sat quietly.
Then she smiled.
"No wonder you were so calm with me."
Tan frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"The first night."
"I was screaming."
"Craig was bleeding."
"You looked like you were trying not to laugh."
Tan's mouth twitched.
"I was professional."
"You smiled."
"I absolutely did not."
"You did."
"Briefly."
"Because I kicked him?"
Tan looked toward his water glass.
"No comment."
Amari burst out laughing.
"I knew it."
"I was glad you defended yourself."
"So you were laughing at Craig."
"I didn't say that."
"You don't have to."
She laughed harder.
Tan smiled.
There were those dimples again.
Amari pointed.
"There."
"What?"
"Dimples."
"I still don't have dimples."
"You absolutely do."
"Genetically impossible."
"That's not how genetics works."
Tan laughed.
"Now you're a scientist?"
"No. I have eyes."
For several seconds, they simply smiled at each other.
Something changed between them.
Subtle.
Warm.
The air felt different.
Not heavy.
Charged.
Tan looked at her longer than before.
Amari didn't look away.
After dinner, neither seemed ready to end the evening.
Tan suggested walking around the rooftop garden beside the restaurant.
Amari agreed.
The night was warm.
City lights shimmered beneath them while distant traffic became a soft hum.
Amari rested her arms along the railing.
Tan stood beside her.
"This is nice."
"Yeah."
She looked toward him.
"You always this quiet?"
"Sometimes."
"I don't believe you."
"My family would agree with you."
"Your dad talks a lot?"
"Nonstop."
"Your mom?"
"Also nonstop."
"Grandparents?"
"Worse."
"Siblings?"
"Terrible."
Amari laughed.
"So basically you're the quiet one because nobody gives you a chance to speak."
"Exactly."
She shook her head.
"I'm starting to understand."
Then Tan asked,
"Can I ask you something personal?"
"Fair is fair."
He turned slightly toward her.
"Were you afraid to date again?"
Amari didn't pretend not to understand.
"Yes."
Tan nodded.
"Still am."
"Okay."
She looked at him.
"Does that bother you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not asking you to trust me immediately."
Her expression softened.
"I'd rather earn whatever you're willing to give me."
The words landed harder than he intended.
Amari turned toward the skyline.
Craig had always demanded trust.
Why don't you trust me?
Why are you questioning me?
Why do I have to prove myself?
Tan treated trust differently.
As something built.
Not owed.
"That means a lot," she said.
"I mean it."
"I know."
She looked at him again.
"That's what scares me."
Tan frowned.
"What?"
"You seem safe."
He understood.
She continued.
"I thought Craig was safe too."
Tan didn't defend himself.
Didn't say he wasn't Craig.
Didn't ask her to compare them.
Instead, he nodded.
"Then take your time."
Amari stared.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"You don't wanna convince me?"
"Of what?"
"That you're different."
Tan shook his head.
"You should decide that based on what I do."
Silence.
Amari's eyes shimmered.
Tan noticed.
"I didn't mean to make you emotional."
"You didn't."
She smiled.
"Well, you did."
"But in a good way."
Tan leaned against the railing.
"I can live with that."
They stood together quietly.
Then Amari asked,
"You ever been in love?"
Tan looked surprised.
"Going straight for it now."
"You asked if I'm scared."
"Fair."
He thought.
"Once."
"Serious?"
"College."
"What happened?"
"We wanted different things."
"Meaning?"
"She wanted me to move to San Francisco."
"I wanted law enforcement in Los Angeles."
"She hated that."
"You chose the job?"
"I chose home too."
"My family was here."
Amari nodded.
"Do you regret it?"
"No."
"Did you love her?"
"I thought I did."
"That's not the same answer."
Tan smiled.
"You're good at this."
"I manage government programs for a living."
"I ask questions professionally."
Tan considered it.
"I cared about her."
"But when it ended, it hurt more because I lost the future I imagined than because I lost her."
Amari absorbed that.
"That sounds self-aware."
"Therapy."
Her eyebrows rose.
"You go to therapy?"
"Yep."
She looked genuinely surprised.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No. Say it."
"I didn't expect that."
"Because I'm Asian?"
"No."
"Because I'm a cop?"
Amari winced.
"Maybe."
Tan laughed.
"Police officers need therapy more than most people."
"Do your coworkers know you say that?"
"Some agree."
"Others need therapy."
She smiled.
"Why did you start?"
Tan looked outward.
"Work."
"Childhood."
"Questions."
"Some things I didn't want to dump on my family."
Amari nodded slowly.
"I like that."
"Therapy?"
"No."
"You understanding that love doesn't make family members responsible for carrying everything."
Tan looked at her.
"Same thing with relationships."
The words lingered.
Amari's heart fluttered again.
When they finally left the restaurant, Tan walked Amari toward the parking garage.
She had refused to valet because, as she explained, "Nobody is taking my car and judging the inside."
Tan suspected the car was spotless.
He was correct.
They stopped beside a sleek black luxury SUV.
Tan whistled.
"This is the new car?"
Amari smiled proudly.
"It is."
"Nice."
"I told you I got promoted."
"You didn't tell me you celebrated like this."
"I work hard."
"You do."
She leaned against the driver's door.
For the first time all evening, both of them became slightly awkward.
The date was over.
Neither seemed entirely sure what came next.
Amari folded her hands.
"I had a good time."
"So did I."
"Better than expected?"
Tan smiled.
"I expected you to be difficult."
Her mouth fell open.
"Excuse me?"
"You argued with paramedics."
"My hand was fine."
"You had a fracture."
"A small one."
"Still a fracture."
"I survived."
Tan laughed.
"Exactly my point."
Amari smiled.
"And what did you expect from tonight?"
Tan answered truthfully.
"To like you."
Her expression changed.
"And?"
"I do."
Simple.
Clear.
Amari felt warmth climb into her cheeks.
Tan stepped slightly closer.
Not enough to crowd her.
Just enough that the space between them became intimate.
Amari looked at his mouth.
Then immediately back at his eyes.
Tan noticed.
His pulse shifted.
"Can I kiss you?"
The question surprised her.
Not because men didn't ask.
Because he did.
No assumption.
No sudden move.
Amari swallowed.
"Yes."
Tan lifted one hand slowly and touched the side of her face.
His thumb rested lightly near her cheek.
He gave her enough time to change her mind.
She didn't.
Instead, Amari leaned closer.
Their lips met.
Softly at first.
A warm, careful kiss that lasted only a few seconds.
Tan pulled back slightly.
Amari opened her eyes.
Something passed between them.
Permission.
Curiosity.
Want.
She reached for the front of his blazer.
"That was too polite."
Tan's eyebrows lifted.
"Was it?"
"Very."
He smiled.
"Noted."
This time, when he kissed her, the restraint changed.
Not disappeared.
Deepened.
His hand slid gently along her jaw while Amari curled her fingers into his jacket and pulled him closer.
The kiss became slower.
Warmer.
Breath stealing without being rushed.
Amari felt the strength of him beneath the blazer, but what affected her most was the way he still gave rather than took.
Every shift came with room for her to meet him.
She did.
Her lips parted.
Tan inhaled softly against her mouth.
The city disappeared for a moment.
No Craig.
No badge.
No painful history.
Only warmth.
Vanilla perfume.
Tan's hand at her waist.
Amari's heartbeat racing beneath the red dress.
When they finally separated, both were breathing differently.
Tan rested his forehead lightly against hers.
Amari smiled.
"Better."
He laughed under his breath.
"Glad I improved."
"Still room to grow."
Tan looked at her.
"That sounds like a second-date invitation."
"It might be."
"Thursday?"
"Too soon."
"Friday?"
She pretended to consider.
"Maybe."
"Saturday?"
Amari smiled.
"Friday."
Tan's grin appeared.
"Seven."
"Seven-thirty."
"Why?"
"Because I like making you negotiate."
Tan laughed.
"Seven-thirty."
He kissed her once more.
Shorter this time.
Still enough to make her forget what she had been about to say.
Then he stepped back.
"Text me when you get home."
Amari smiled.
"I will."
"Drive safe."
"Yes, Officer."
He groaned.
"Don't start."
"Goodnight, T."
"Goodnight, Amari."
She climbed into her SUV.
Tan waited until she pulled away before heading toward his own car.
Amari watched him in the rearview mirror.
A smile stayed on her face all the way home.
Simone was still awake when Amari walked in.
Of course she was.
She sat on the couch in pajamas with a bowl of popcorn.
"Well?"
Amari set her purse down.
"It was nice."
Simone stared.
"Nice?"
"Yes."
"Three hours, and all I get is nice?"
Amari tried to walk past.
Simone jumped up.
"Oh, absolutely not."
"Move."
"Did he kiss you?"