CHAPTER ONE
Three weeks later…
“Daddy!” Ronnie squeals while rushing down the bus stairs.
I lower to a crouch, spreading my arms wide to welcome my little girl home. “Hey, cupcake. How was school?”
“Amazing! I colored a rainbow and sang a bunch of songs and played with my friends outside.” Her unbridled glee brightens the cloudy autumn afternoon.
“Wow,” I breathe. “You were busy.”
She beams at me. “Uh-huh, kindergarten is awesome.”
I release the uncertainty trapped in my lungs. It’s a good day. Maybe even great. Those have been rare as of late.
Shortly after Ronnie’s fifth birthday, my little girl went from happy and carefree to quiet and withdrawn.
The reasons vary depending on who I’ve sought advice from.
Some say it’s a phase. Others claim it’s delayed grief.
A few are extremely concerned about her mental health.
It’s been an emotional challenge, to say the least.
“Ready for a snack?”
Rather than answer, her bottomless green eyes search mine. “Have you seen her?”
And there’s the fucking punch in the gut I’d been expecting.
The reminder of who restored my daughter’s smile sours my own mood.
It’s the same question she’s been asking me since we first saw that mysterious redhead at Camp Cloverleaf two weeks ago.
For whatever reason, my daughter sees something significant in that woman.
Something worth idolizing. Meanwhile, I’m tangled in trouble and conflicted beyond measure.
“Afraid not,” I mumble.
“Did you look really hard?”
“She’s nowhere to be found.” My tone is brittle but soft.
“Doesn’t she miss us?”
“You can’t miss someone you don’t know,” I murmur quietly.
“That’s not true! I miss Mommy, but I never met her.”
“Should we look at her photo album? I can find some videos too.”
Ronnie visibly sags in front of me. “Not right now.”
Pain wheezes from my lungs in a strangled sound.
My young child has the power to completely obliterate me.
I slump against the ground, glancing at the sky for answers that aren’t there.
It’s moments like this where I feel the loss of my wife as if she just passed yesterday.
Nina died during childbirth. She hemorrhaged and the doctors couldn’t stop the bleeding.
There was nothing they could do except give me the miracle we created.
I’ve been stumbling through parenthood alone ever since.
Words fail me, which is nothing new when it comes to this situation.
Rather than try to piece together a pitiful explanation, I wrap my little girl in a fierce hug.
Ronnie flings her arms around my neck, accepting the embrace.
Maybe needing it, much like I do. We take deep breaths and hold each other close, and slowly, our combined pain loses its sharp edges, smoothing into a dull ache. We’ll get through this together.
After several moments, I gather the courage to pull away.
I trace a line down the slope of Ronnie’s nose, ending with a tap to her chin.
It’s our sign of love and comfort. She rolls her eyes, but then repeats the motion on me.
That small move is like a glimmer of light flickering in the shadows, alerting me that not all is lost.
“You’re right,” I admit. “Your mother is a part of you. Way down deep. You’ll always carry her with you. This woman you saw just once is different, though. She doesn’t even know who we are, cupcake.”
My little girl grunts. “But she’s gonna be my new mommy.”
“Ronnie—”
“Nuh-uh, that’s a sad voice.” Her bottom lip pouts out. “That’s how Auntie Bee sounds. I don’t like it.”
“Well, I don’t like seeing you upset.” With my thumb and forefinger, I turn her frown upside down. “We’ve tried looking. I think it’s time to forget about her.”
“No!” My five-year-old stomps her little foot. “The superhero lady is special. Once she knows me, she’s gonna wanna be my mommy.”
I flinch at the determination in her tone. “We’ve talked about this. That woman is a stranger, cupcake. You can’t keep saying she’s going to be your mom.”
“Yes, I can.” The stubborn glint I’m becoming very familiar with gleams in her green eyes. “I feel it in here.” She points at the spot on her chest—right over her heart—where I’ve always told her our love comes from. “She’s gonna be our family. We just gotta find her.”
This type of innocent insistence is impossible to argue against. I’ll admit, I was struck by the lioness in leather at first too.
That was before I found out who she works for.
Ronnie isn’t so easily dissuaded. It’s almost laughable that my daughter thinks the dangerous woman is an adequate replacement for her mother.
But the heart wants what it does. There’s no logic.
“You don’t even know her name,” I say gently.
Ronnie tips up her chin. “That’s why we gotta find her. She’ll tell me once we do.”
I hang my head, rising to stand and steer her toward the house. Her shoulders curl forward as she follows my lead. The fight seeping out of my daughter’s small frame threatens to cleave me in two. Her obsession with this bad influence is getting out of hand.
Although, the woman’s identity is no longer a mystery. I haven’t revealed that discovery to Ronnie in fear she’ll become more relentless. The leather-clad criminal doesn’t deserve her adoration.
Francesca Keller is Colton’s cousin and deeply involved with the cowboy criminals, as Bianca affectionately refers to the group of crooks wreaking havoc around town.
Colton cut ties with his father’s crew years ago when Frankie was still a teenager.
That’s why he didn’t consider her as a suspect for the one who confronted Bianca at Camp Cloverleaf.
He also didn’t think Frankie’s brother would try to permanently remove him from the equation, but that’s a different story.
What’s important right now is convincing my daughter to forget she ever saw Frankie.
“Want to visit the auction barn with me? It’s packed full of pretty ponies for the sale this weekend. Maybe I’ll buy you one,” I offer with entirely too much enthusiasm.
Ronnie exhales heavily. “I don’t want a pony.”
My palm thumps my forehead. “What was I thinking? You’re ready for a big horse. There are plenty of those available too.”
She kicks at a pile of fallen leaves. “No thanks.”
The urge to throttle Frankie and her terrible influence trembles through me.
As if my dad falling victim to their dirty deals wasn’t bad enough.
His gambling addiction buried him in a debt so deep that he willingly stole from his own family.
I haven’t seen him for months, but I’m still cleaning up the mess he left behind.
The last thing I need is my precious daughter getting caught in their trap.
The spark in Ronnie’s mood has dimmed completely by the time we reach the front door.
Even a rowdy greeting from her two dogs can’t chase off the gloom.
Darla and Dottie shower her face in sloppy kisses, but my little girl barely acknowledges them.
The pair of Shepherd mixes follow her to the chair near the bay window.
Their heads rest on her legs once she sits down and stares outside.
She absently pets them while waiting for the impossible.
It’s the same routine as every other afternoon since Francesca Keller darkened our path.
Once again, I find myself cursing that woman’s name.
Nothing good has come from the ghost of her presence.
I’m beginning to believe she fled with the rest of the cowboy criminals.
With their leader six feet under and several others behind bars, the remaining crooks scattered.
For all I know, Frankie is halfway across the country in search of a fresh start.
That’s for the best. If only I could explain that to my daughter in terms she’d accept and understand.
Failure is a lead weight on my shoulders. I want to be enough for Ronnie, which is selfish, but our dynamic was working until earlier this year. She needs a female role model, especially as she gets older. There’s an unfortunate shortage in that department.
My mom’s visits are nonexistent. She prefers to stay away from Cloverleaf Meadows where the bad memories of my father haunt her.
My cousin Bianca does what she can, but she has her own shit to deal with.
Between work and raising a child, I’ve never found time to date.
It’s not as if any random woman will do the trick regardless.
A sigh thick with hesitation spews from me. There’s another option.
I clear the tightness from my throat. “Remember what Dr. Laurel said in your last session?”
The mention of her new therapist earns me a side-eye. “Dr. Laurel is old.”
It takes great effort to stifle a chuckle. “She’s been doing this a long time. That’s why she has great ideas for us to try.”
Ronnie’s flat expression isn’t easily swayed.
I walk toward her and crouch down to her level.
“Dr. Laurel believes you’re attached to this…
superhero lady because you want a connection like a daughter should have with her mother.
She suggested a trusted adult to hang out with you after school or when I’m at work.
Someone similar to Auntie Bee, but you’d see her more often.
This person could be your nanny. Would you like that? ”
Ronnie perks up. “Can the superhero lady be my nanny?”
“Ronnie…” I sigh.
The momentary joy leeches out of her. She sniffles and drops her gaze, done with me and my worthless attempts to lift her spirits. Guilt stabs at me until it’s difficult to breathe.
“She’s free to apply,” I compromise.
A groove appears between her eyebrows. “What’s that mean?”
“If she wants the job, she has to come get it.” The odds of that happening are slim enough to offer it without concern.
“Here? At our house?” Ronnie points at the plush carpet beneath her feet.
“That’s part of the requirement.”
“You’re using too many big words,” she huffs.
“Whoever we find to be your nanny will be the perfect fit. You’ll love spending time with her.”
“I only want the superhero lady. She’s gonna take my sadness away.” A serene glow transforms her features.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I mutter.
“Huh?”
I’m beginning to loathe this so-called great idea. “She might be too busy doing superhero stuff.”
Ronnie blinks quickly. “But I wanna love her forever.”
“That’s very sweet of you. We’ll have to wait and see if she finds us.”
“But I’ve already waited a really long time.” The whine in her voice chips at my hardened heart.
“You’ve been very patient,” I agree. “And there are so many others who would love to be your nanny right away.”
My little girl is already shaking her head. “I only want the superhero lady to be my nanny. And then she’ll love me like I love her and wanna be my mommy too! Please find her for me. Please, please.”
It’s not ideal, but it’s progress. Better than her referring to Frankie strictly as her new mommy. A win is a win, after all.
“I’ll try my best, okay?” If only to end this madness.
Ronnie smiles, granting me a temporary reprieve from the darkness. “Okay! Thanks, Daddy.”
My lungs fill with warmth and hope. I’ll track Frankie down just to make my little girl happy. Maybe Bianca can provide some helpful insight.
“Anything for you, cupcake.”
And then she launches herself at me like the cheerful child she was too many months ago. “I love you. So super much. You’re the best.”
Heat stings my eyes and I squeeze my lids shut. “Love you too. You mean everything to me.” Which is why I refuse to fail her again.
One way or another, Frankie is going to face my daughter and expose her true colors.