Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
ARMAN
I may be working from home, but for once my mind is occupied somewhere else entirely. Knowing that Ellie is nearby, curled up somewhere close, is messing with my mind.
Breakfast was a pleasurable experience I never appreciated before. It felt good to stare across the table at her. To smile at her excited chatter and delight in the softy sexy gaze of her eyes. I never appreciated how satisfying it is to share a life with the one person who means everything to you. To connect souls and to share the same mission. To want one another and to fight for that.
When I’m not with Ellie, I wonder what she’s doing. Is she thinking of me at all? I hate that I’m so needy and it makes me want to rebel against it, but I know that will never happen. She brings me peace, and I haven’t had that for many years now. Even before my father’s death, I was searching for fulfillment.
I’m not searching anymore.
The morning drags interminably and not even my beloved business can keep me entertained. It’s boring as fuck staring at endless spreadsheets, and as Luka heads off to lunch, I am grateful for the chance to do the same.
There is only one person I want to satisfy my appetite and lunch is the furthest thing from my mind as I go in search of my new obsession.
I find her sprawled out on the couch in the library, the blue flame from the fire catching the tears that are running down her face. Despite her obvious distress, I can’t help admiring the picture before me. She is devoid of make-up. Her hair trapped in a messy bun on top of her head. She is wearing an off the shoulder t-shirt and a baggy cardigan over jeans. She is perfect, too perfect and I don’t even care about the tears cascading from her eyes because I know it wasn’t me who put them there.
She is engrossed in her grandmother’s diary and doesn’t even hear me approach. and jumps as I crouch down in front of her and gently remove the diary from her shaking fingers.
“Arman.” She appears distracted. “What time is it?”
“Lunch time, malysh.”
I lean in and clean her tears away with one swipe of my tongue, and she shivers. “Why is that such a turn on?”
“Tears do that to me.” I whisper huskily, pulling off my t-shirt as I delight in the lust sparkling alongside the tears in her eyes .
“You like to see women cry?” She raises her eyes and I shake my head, unbuckling my belt as she watches me, her lip trembling and her chest heaving.
“I like to see you cry.”
“Why?” Her breath hitches as I palm my cock and say gruffly, “Because you resemble a tragic masterpiece. Your beauty is enhanced by sadness. It’s captivating to watch the light change in your eyes when your body responds to my attention.”
“You’re a sick bastard, Arman.”
I place my finger on her lips. “Language, malysh. You are a lady—my lady and you must act like one.”
“Is this how a lady acts?” Her smirk of amusement makes me smile as I remove her cardigan and lift the t-shirt off her head, loving the fact she is naked underneath.
“It’s how my lady acts with me.”
I press a kiss to her soft lips and whisper, “Only with me. Only ever with me.”
I pull away and remove her jeans, loving how they are easy to discard, once again revealing she doesn’t believe underwear is necessary.
I groan as I press a light kiss to her sweet pussy and she lies back on the couch and moans, “I didn’t know I was lunch.”
It makes me smile as I join her and settle between her legs, pinning her to the couch with a lustful stare.
“You’re my lunch, and I’m hungry.”
I relish every second as I slide into her core. Her walls clenching my cock, holding it firm. I push past any resistance, loving how tight she is and her small moan of pain reminds me it is still sore from the onslaught it received last night.
“Relax, malysh.”
She sighs as I shift a little and cup her ass in my hands, pulling her in deeper and thrusting up harder.
She bites her lip as I take my time, loving every sigh that escapes her, every moan and every burst of wet heat that coats my cock, allowing me to dance in her ruin as she falls apart around me.
I come so hard I hold on tight, my body draining of pent-up need and the frustration I’ve felt all morning. She was on my mind the entire time, and she still is. I can’t see or think of anything but this woman and I’m telling myself it’s because of the situation we are in. I am infatuated, but that may pass. I’m still working out my feelings toward her but know I am not done with her yet. Something about Ellie Adams shouted to my soul and I’m working out what to do about that.
As we lie naked on the couch, her head rests on my chest and she directs soft kisses my way as she sighs with contentment.
“This is nice.” She says softly and I have to agree—it is.
I tangle my fingers around her hair and say gruffly, “You were crying. Tell me about that.”
“And you’re only asking me that question now?”
Her chuckle of amusement makes me smile and I admit, “I only had one thing on my mind when I walked in here and I am never distracted from immediate business.”
“Which was screwing me to the couch, I presume.”
She glances up and grins, and I love the spark in her eyes as she shakes her head. “What am I going to do with you, Arman?”
“More of the same, I hope.”
She nods. “That can be arranged.”
As soon as she says the words, the light in her eyes dims a little and she whispers, “I’ve had a sad morning. Your, um, visit was a welcome distraction.”
“Tell me about it.”
She sighs and lies back on my chest and I rub circles on her back as she whispers, “It was hard reading my grandmother’s words. It was as if she was sitting beside me and telling me. I mean, I could hear her voice speaking her words and remember the small expressions on her face as she said them. It was hard because that’s all I have. My memories and there will be no new ones.”
My heart lurches because I share the same experience and I hate not being able to call my father and ask his advice on something I’m struggling with. It didn’t happen very often, but when I needed him, he was always there for me. Now I have my brothers. I suppose I always did, which means I’m better off than Ellie because now all she has is me.
“What did you read?”
I’m mildly curious, and she sighs. “It was before I was born and my mother was away at school. It was strange reading her thoughts on paper, unraveling their relationship through stricken sentences rather than hearing them. She sounds so worried in the diaries, which may give a false impression.”
“Worried about what?”
“Marsha mainly. You see, they never had any money. Like my mother, my grandmother was a single mother. My grandfather passed shortly before Marsha left for Switzerland, and it never occurred to me that my grandmother lost everything at the same time. She was so lonely and struggling to do the right thing and for all her strength in my life, she exposes her vulnerability in these pages.”
“You say she was worried. Does she say why?”
I’m listening carefully because Switzerland was where she met my mother and my father’s mistress. I’m also aware that Adele Heatherington was part of their friendship group, courtesy of a photograph Valentin found in Veronica Scott-Stanley’s things.
It’s as if we are tripping through the past using an old woman’s memories to guide us and it will be interesting to unravel the link between them.
Ellie sighs. “They never had money. We were quite a poor family by anyone’s standards, but Marsha was clever, really clever and won a scholarship to Switzerland and my grandmother was worried that she wouldn’t fit in among the rich kids.”
“I see.”
I kiss the top of her head and she says sadly, “My grandmother was desperate for news from Switzerland. There were endless entries wondering when she would hear from her daughter, who, surprise, surprise, wasn’t very good at keeping in touch. Months passed with no word and then one day she arrived home unexpectedly.”
I say nothing and let Ellie speak because this is an interesting delve into the past that somehow connects to the present.
Ellie peers up and stares deep into my eyes and says with a catch to her voice, “She was pregnant. With me.”